Gray Ledge

Trauma Cat are an independent power trio based in the post-industrial hellscape of Syracuse, New York, USA, comprising Ralph Kojig (guitar and vocals), Roman Pando (bass and vocals), and Rutger DiBoyere (drums).

Though musicologists speculate on the band's true origin and the meaning of their existence, Trauma Cat are widely credited as the founders of “cuck rock,” an indeterminate school of music indebted to incessant apology and shameless cross-genre appropriation. Others have described Trauma Cat's sound as “uncomfortable art rock,” and their politics as “alt-wrong.”

In late 2020, Trauma Cat released two singles, “Drunk Shark” and “Nostradamus,” sparking minimal, though spirited, public interest. Denizens of Syracuse wondered if the trio were some kind of threatening simulation, while denizens of the internet merely shrugged and added the songs to several of their poorly curated playlists. 

Trauma Cat wrapped up 2020 with another single, the bicurious bop “Joshua,” and a childhood-crushing Christmas song called “There’s No Such Thing.” Then, in 2021, after releasing two more singles — the prog-appropriating “Fire in the Jail” and the sad and anthemic “Freaks With Wings” — the trio announced their forthcoming debut album, “Prepare to Apologize.”

Released on April 24, 2021, “Prepare to Apologize” — co-produced by the band and the elusive St. Julian P. Dingus — has proven to be a polarizing work. Some press has heralded the 15-track epic as “insufferable,” “disorienting,” and “a progressive, well-conceived, and downright moving masterpiece of outsider pop.”  

Much to the band’s chagrin, numerous critics have cited the album’s “sense of humor” as a major selling point. With “demonstrable irreverence” and a “hilarious comedic take on the music biz,” NYS Music writes, Trauma Cat are “a combination of punk pioneers Devo and Saturday morning cartoon favorites Josie and the Pussycats.” The album, that review continues, is “fun, fresh, and creative.” Per the hacks at indie blog BuzzMusic, “Prepare to Apologize” is a “conceptual album” featuring “detailed lyricism and dynamic instrumental soundscapes.” In a major misfire, the blogger American Pancake says, “Trauma Cat are kinda weird and I like that.”

Try as Trauma Cat might to recover from this album cycle, the band have now embarked on performing the songs off “Prepare to Apologize” in several live settings.

“It never ends,” Ralph Kojig said in an exclusive interview with The Daily Cuckold. “We cannot apologize enough for continuing to play the music, if you want to even call it that.”

“Our worst fear,” added Roman Pando, “is that we’ll write and release new material. And it seems as though that’s starting to happen, unfortunately. We’re so sorry.”

Rutger DiBoyere, who is non-verbal, hung his head in shame.