Some 𝟐𝟓 years ago, I wrote a 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒 fan story for which this was meant to be its central theme. There is no discernible melody here, but I was nevertheless trying to express a sense of wonder and awakening, mixed with insecurity and confusion, with these figures and chords I played.

The idea was to have this, and several other pieces of music, play at certain parts of the story, but I didn't have the skill to create something quite as interactive for the website I hosted back then.

The story was well-received by other fans, and that was satisfying, but I soon abandoned the "book with a soundtrack" notion.

The Next Horizon

The Matrix and Me

I didn't do direct demos for many years, and this is the last one I ever committed to 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜. This track was mainly about trying out an atypical drum pattern, with sounds and a style I'd never come near before. I didn't have a title back in 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟓, so now, nearly two decades on, I've had to re-examine what it makes me feel.

I've always thought it reasonably uplifting, even in this fragment-only form, and I hear a kind of clarion call in my chords and playing style. So, given the particular brand of obfuscated times we presently live in, where reality and fantasy, truth and lies, and right and wrong may be harder to tell apart than ever before, I decided to go with something cautiously optimistic. One day, I'll develop this further into a proper song.

Better Days Are Coming

This is among my earliest recordings on the 𝐅𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐱 𝐗-𝟐𝟖𝐇 𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫, possibly the very first I tried to do on my own, after inaugurating it with a couple of things with a friend in the late summer of 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟒. I must have put this one down in 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, and it's just as primitive as you'd expect a beginner's work to be. But I love this song so much, and it means so much to me, that I had to give it a shot, even knowing it could only contrast how wonderful 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥'𝐬 original is.

I was very insecure about adding my vocals back then, so I never ventured it. Now, almost 𝟑𝟎 years later, I finally decided to sing on it. It may be that I had to get to this age before I could do that with a semblance of conviction. My heart was relatively unscathed then. Now it's been out there and found out what life can do to it.

As for the recording itself, I played the keyboard rather unevenly that night, so matching my singing to it now was a challenge. It's the kind of song that needs to be sung as it's played. It lives outside of regular time; it needs to be immediate and felt. I didn't quite nail it here. Maybe I'll try again someday.

And So It Goes

Music is a friend, a playground, a way of life. To dabble is satisfaction; to improvise is freedom; to please is joy.

These are my fledgling musical "sins," most of which go back several decades.

The Matrix and Me

Trecathlus

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