acoustic-adjacent project mostly consisted of album demos done by me over the course of the year.  self produced, written and mixed.  "i wanna be the guy" is the only song featuring a fake guitar.  thank you for listening.

still-life

instruments by twikipedia

yeah I've been here before
your roof over my head
I'll look so stupid when i understand
caring about everything i did back then

I'd love to let it go
and i've got myself to blame
the tv static drifts as i awake
how could you leave me like this and get away? now
when i watched you change i didn't have a say.. now
cracking my head on the wall
and I'm guessing we were never friends at all

so when I'm gone.. and turned into a word
keep everything inside your chest
but don't fret, yeah I'll always be here
like a stick in the mud
where you know that it's placed
and when now turns into back then
will anything matter all
and all the things that you wanted to say
i guess you went away
till i gave out

understand

produced by me

I'm your dirt
it's always what you wanted
sunken ship
my message in a bottle
setting sail
in search of something solid
so innocent
a knife still in your pocket
i don't.. see what you mean
i still hurt in my dreams
can i put on a front just for fun? just for fun
so you kick and scream
treat me like a machine
fifth floor's never before
looked so low

could've been
anything i wanted
but i still can't come up with something
print my face save yourself the moment
it's in your eyes, it's what you want
and tonight, i wished on a comet
so it crashed inside my apartment
i stuffed everything inside my closet
because I'm leaving tonight

sail

instruments by twikipedia

when all my time is wasted
when I'm bitter and old
when my tongue is twisted
will this weight still hold me down
will fall get colder than old winters
in my head i'm not a victim
missing you and all your habits
and i barely even felt the slightest bit alive
how much time can i kill
before it's something else that dies
realized there's no point to scream and cry
I've tried harder than most
until i started asking why
I've seen every photograph
and i still can't spot what's wrong
it's like you weren't even there
and like i did it all alone

killing time

produced by me

This song has nothing to do with the game

Lyrics:
I wanna be your favorite boy and girl, the one you think about
Feel the guilt crawl in my skin and bones whenever you're around
And nothing's worse than you with someone else, you're mine, you're mine, you're mine

I love when you try hard to hurt me then I feel like i'm real
(Its hard to feel that way.. i'd die a lot just trying to feel something)
You bash my head against a rock when I confess what i feel
(I love the headache afterwards.. I love the E.R room with you)

And you know how i feel but you choose to play hard to get
Before you met your guy you were someone i could understand
What did he treat you like for you to turn into a psychopath who loves to watch me cry?

I wanna be the guy.. If he's allowed to fuck up.. then I wanna be the guy
So tell me, what's he like? So tell me, what's he like? I wanna be the guy

i wanna be the guy

Everything by me

I've done it all
And something always seems to go wrong
Wake up and fall
Quickly after closing my curtains
Quickly after fading away
And they'll find out that I stayed put where i was placed
i dropped the ball
it wasn’t that simple at all
I'm tearing up
mold gets on my eyes as it falls
specs of dust make my vision blurry
i shut my eyes and let myself collapse

And i feel so hurt sometimes (I feel so hurt sometimes)
But nothing seems to get you to worry
I’ve been losing track of time (Lose track of time)
Trying to get back in your story
I have no life of my own
So please let me go home
One more day is all i need
To show you i could be
Somebody else

And I feel like you think I'm a waste of your time
Grain of sand or a rock in your sole
Would you be wrong if you said I have everything but nothing that i've ever wanted
But I'll let you know
The seasons change yet in the summer everything felt so cold
And i need you to be my hero just this once

And i feel so hurt sometimes (I feel so hurt sometimes)
But nothing seems to get you to worry
I’ve been losing track of time (Lose track of time)
Trying to get back in your story
I have no life of my own
So please let me go home
One more day is all i need
To show you i could be
Somebody else

hurt

lyrics:
i spoke to a friend and told him that i need to find him
and it's been near a decade but i still think about you
i still remember the way to your home, and every room inside
what if i came knocking and asked for all my time back
i keep track of yours but do you keep track of my birthdays
is it true what they say, do you want to hurt me

when i find out what you really meant
will it make me bash myself
or will we ever meet again
and i know that your mom still remembers my face
maybe she looks back and tries to pinpoint when i changed
maybe if i brought my games
maybe then i'd get you to distract yourself from the shame
and there's nothing to be worried for you know that i'm still here
i know you'd still look for me if i disappeared

friend

Produced by me

Lyrics:
i like your face
and all your quippy jokes
they look at us
and everybody knows
i act indifferent
try to play it cool
I'll be paper-thin for you
it's not on the nose
And if it bends more i'm done
a bigger heart than mine
so when you look at me what do you see
will you be paper-thin for me

(why can't i be the one)

i wanna know (everything you like to do)
i know you know (you just don't want me to hurt)
why can't i be (the only girl you'll ever need)