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[BE WARNED: Many of our early episodes are the sorts of trainwrecks you can't look away from, ESPECIALLY Episode 1! Listen at your own risk.]

Intros

Welcome to Two Guns No Ammunition!

Merry Christmas boys and boyettes!
I had this stupid idea when watching Jontron's video on Soulja boy's latest fiasko.

Soulja Christmas

[Lyrics]

How can my eyes deceive
This thing before me
Blurred, burned, decaying
I wrote this prophecy
How can I persist here
Without air to breathe
Stark, cold, unfeeling
My worst enemy

Stalk, creep, impending pounce
Murder, mayhem, and blood
red shimmering spread
You just want my head
No! Back! Get away from me!
There is nothing for you here
Never before has this
gnawing at my throat bled so clear

Kneel now before my gods:
Fear, Pain, Misery
Sheltered within my walls
Must let no one see
Futile, my every lurch
Taunting, fraudulent light
Chains tightening
Reciprocal with all my might

I know what you are
Glinting fangs and eyes
I know what you are
Lurking through these lies
I know what you are
Hunter within seclusion
I know what you are
Memory-turned-delusion

Get away from me
(This is just an illusion)

Plague Prowling

[Instrumental version]

How can my eyes deceive
This thing before me
Blurred, burned, decaying
I wrote this prophecy
How can I persist here
Without air to breathe
Stark, cold, unfeeling
My worst enemy

Stalk, creep, impending pounce
Murder, mayhem, and blood
Red shimmering spread
You just want my head
No! Back! Get away from me!
There is nothing for you here
Never before has this
gnawing at my throat bled so clear

Kneel now before my gods:
Fear, Pain, Misery
Sheltered within my walls
Must let no one see
Futile, my every lurch
Taunting, fraudulent light
Chains tightening
Reciprocal with all my might

I know what you are
Glinting fangs and eyes
I know what you are
Lurking through these lies
I know what you are
Hunter within seclusion
I know what you are
Memory-turned-delusion

Get away from me
(This is just an illusion)

Plague Prowling (instrumental)

Anathema

Rhadamanthus III (instrumental)

[Lyrics pending]

I'm particularly proud of the synth solo, which is procedurally generated with randomized embellishments each time I render the song.

Sisyphus Smiles (instrumental)

[Cover of Arcana's "A Cage", from their 2012 EP "Emerald." Arcana is one of the formative artists in my love for making music, and it was high-time I sang their praises with what I've learned.

Arcana broke up in 2014, but if you've ever wondered what melanchony sounds like at its most beautiful, their discography is an uninterrupted master class.

Please check out the original here: https://arcana.bandcamp.com/track/a-cage

Lyrics]

In the darkest point of life
When all hopes are gone
What used to be so colorful
Is now grey

At night the sky used to be
So full of stars
What used to be so colorful
Is now grey

It's so hard to get out of this cage
When the outside is so much worse
It's so hard to get rid of these chains
As there's nothing left to fight for

It's so hard to get out of this cage
When the outside is so much worse
It's so hard to get rid of these chains
As there's nothing left to fight for

Welcome to Two Guns No Ammunition!

Two Guns No Ammo

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