Innocence?

an original song. from my album [My Art Is Suffering].

---

[LYRICS]

now,
i haven't slept for days
i don't even know the last time i ate
( this ashtray... )
[ HERE'S ANOTHER RED FLAG SONG ]
( full always... )
[ YOU NEVER LISTEN OR SING ALONG ]

reaching out to what i call a "friend"
as a means to provide proof that i'm not dead
( still useless... )
[ NOTHING I MAKE ]
( no noose fits... )
[ MAKES ME HAPPY ]

hold it in your hand 
JUST BREATHE IN.
then-
bring it slowly to your wrist
BLISS BURNS.
when life turns bland-
KNOW YOU CAN:
grace your skin
with a razor's kiss

ketamine? 
i mean-
i might?
i may...
KNOWING SOMEDAY I'LL DIE
KEEPS ME SLEEPING SOUNDLY
dramamine.
i need:
to keep.
to feed.
ALL THE NAUSEA INSIDE
WHENEVER MIGRAINES TAKE ME

i've been-
RUNNING WITH FIRE
under my feet again
so i can
lie to these 
FAKE FUCKING PEOPLE
with groomed-in ANXIETY

am i lonely?

i've been-
RUNNING WITH FIRE
under my feet again
so i can
fight the need 
TO KEEP ASKING PEOPLE
the questions i tend to think

am i lonely?

[ ONE DAY I'LL FADE LEWY BODY IN MY BRAIN ]
[ THE ONLY SWEET RELEASE FROM A LIFE THAT WAS ALL PAIN ]

am i lonely?

( i don't think so? )
then again- 
i don't win...
[ COMPLIMENTS, I DON'T GET ]
what do i know?
( my life... bores me? )
sometimes love-
mostly numb...
[ MISS. ME. WITH. THAT. FAKE. SHIT. ]

am i lonely?

[ SOME DAYS I SLIP GET COMPLACENT AND FORGET ]
[ HOW EVERY DAY'S A STRUGGLE AND EVERYTHING. IS. STILL. SHIT. ]

am i lonely?

Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity

Type O Negative