ballerina [16kibo + leslii]

every1 is s0 fake i wan kms</3

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3MyYxx8xvAuXSBjaWn3Ytx?si=ZqOKI-RpQCqi0fdaVRg1mQ
video: https://youtu.be/aSLd-sA_r8E?si=zJtO76JZEkzhwppL
amv: https://youtu.be/EFWBgiBOOsI?si=xGHMcNo8ZR7M7D4_

produced by heylog

i was looking at her eyes
i could tell she wanna die
wait, don't
i will be alone no
please don't go (please don't go) (please don't go)
please don't go (please don't go) (please don't go) (please don't go)
this is how it ends (this is how it ends)
i watch 'em all pretend (i watch 'em all pretend)
this is how it ends (this is how it ends)
drowning in our sins (drowning in our sins)
i was looking in her soul, she remind me of a ghoul
i think that she want me gone
come near me i'll bash your skull (bask your skull)
this is how it ends (this is how it ends)
i watch 'em all pretend (i watch 'em all pretend)
this is how it ends (this is how it ends)
drowning in our sins (drowning in our sins)

it's time to speed up
i am fed up with these people
go home
the world is falling off
i wanna go home
this ain't us
rewind
i wanna rewind back to you
beside
i wanna be beside close to you (close to you) (close to you)

heylog - how it ends

produced by heylog

lyrics:
time will tell
pick the gun up and shoot in the head (in gta)
don't worry
you don't have to get by playing pretend
tried to be nice 
but i ended up losing friends
i disappeared and don't ever wanna talk again

driving on the freeway
the same one i saw that look on your face
you told my boy it's been hard to reach me
"talking to log isn't easy"
stop tryna get me to hangout
without you i've picked up the pace now
just go ahead
select all, delete it
i'm done and i'm leaving
been a while, i wonder if you'd recognize me
always thought what we had was strong as concrete
spoke too soon and i shoulda moved on way long ago
don't know you and i can't believe we used to be close
tempted to pick the gun up and shoot him in the head (in gta)
at the time all i wanted was for you to be dead
stupid bitch, you don't wanna live life playing pretend
don't be asking for guidance or for a hand to lend
swear it felt like yesterday
i don't recognize this place
it sucks that shit's permanent
and that scar won't go away
it don't matter where you are
at your house or in your car
i'm stuck there next to your hip
your fault you took it too far

spotify

shoot

Entry five: regrets

prod by me : /

sunlight peaks through my blinds
it burns my eyes n makes me want to die 
and you're not here, layin' by my side
and I wish that, things were different now

grab on my hips, then we start, locking lips
caught in a kiss, move my hips, just to sync
bite on my lip, love the mark, that you left 
don't loosen grip, hold it tight, close to death

fucked up in the head and I don't know what to do now
you're telling me that it's been over 
and I just feel like I been locked out
ain't no fuckin way I'm movin on

why the fuck you leavin me when you know that im all alone
got this pain inside my heart, a poison wit no antidote
people saying that they love me but I know they fuckin dont
if they really did, would I even be all alone?

agony, sweet agony, I love it when you're holding me
killin me, you're killin me, my agony, it holds me sweet
agony has been here longer than anyone else ever has
agony, my agony, it won't ever leave me and I'm sure of that

I can feel the cracks inside of my persona breakin
she just tell me that anything she said wasn't fake, yeah
tell me that im special but what of that am i making ?
I can tell that life ain't done so it gon keep on taking

I done walked up on this decision and then it fucked my life
I'm just hopin that I can hold on and make it out alive 
elliot didn't get so lucky like i did.. i threw it
I could never lie about it, I know i misused it

if you think it's worth it putting me away for years, 
I'm not gonna fight it i'll pay off my debt in tears
I hope things go well for you and if they dont im here 
just a stupid dog that won't abandon post that he's near 

tell me that I deserve this, 
if you- said anything- my wrist i'll slit
my blood will drip, my life will end, 
and you'll be it

tell me how.. 
if im feelin down you'd know
promise i will tell you everything i know
until then im in hell

tell me you love me
hate me it wont break me
hold me don't let go of me
don't let go of me

you can give me your hate, it won't change anything for me
I could shake it off like leaves on a car when it's starting 
to accelerate on the speed and then they just fall off
I just wanna see the boys win and they already know that 

you deserve to be happy and I want you to know it
you're the love of my life and I wasn't even knowin 
someone could pick me up and repair me like it's nothin 
I been learning german so I can give the love a language

[[acceptance, self reflection]]

---

I made a vow to never lose again

release

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6JuVcEsqHVmX8atqGSoyVU?si=9e92ae4a59fe4b48

cut away, keep away
you make me hurt more than anything
i'm a fucking loser
an introvert at best
im repulsive, disgusting
nothing worth in my chest
ill say i do it to protect me
say it a million ways
if we're all honest im nothing
more of a throwaway

my headspace is clouded
i feel the shame when i talk
ill pour my flaws onto a type beat
only way to take a load off

i hear the silence, its shouting
"can they hear what i say?"
i feel the comfort in solace
get the fuck out of my face

i dont want you to hear me
at the same time i do
i dont want you to fear me
is this normal for you?

prod. mercenarychild

throwaway

prod me

lyrics

when nothing goes awry, why does everybody lie?
what if that happened to u? would u want all of that time?
nobody knows what its like to take a life
until its somebody u love's that's on the line

let me out
i dont wanna be here for today
why i gotta focus
when nothing goes my way
why when that dude died did everybody say "hooray?"
cuz from what i can tell he musta been great

musta been great

IM A BEAST OF HUMANITY, GET IT RIGHT
IF U WANNA BE THERE, DONT GO, TAKE A HIKE
I CAN BE LENIANT SOMETIMES, U GOT ME THERE
BUT U WONT GET IT NEXT TIME, IM PULLIN OUT MY OWN HAIR
NOTHING MAKES MY BONES BREAK, NOTHING MAKES MY HOME SHAKE
NOTHING CAN TAKE MY PLACE, I DO IT FOR MY SAKE
I LOVE EVERYBODY EVEN IF THEYRE BURIED IN THE GROUND
BUT WHEN I TRY TO LOVE SOME RANDOM GUY I JUST GET PUSHED OUT

Entry five: regrets

ulovely