--LYRICS--

A scrub is a dude that thinks he's good 
But couldn't hit the side of a bus stop
Always spamming his binds in chat
And sits at the bottom of the score board (no)

I don't want your Uber (no)
I don't wanna give you mine and (no)
I don't wanna over heal you (no)
I don't wanna do a high five (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Rockin' them booties and sword
With a Tide Turner
Trying to kill a sentry

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Sitting on the E key, spamming
After taking five damage
In the chat complaining

And this scrubs is hitting me
But the team is really weak
Get a kill before you approach me
'Cause I'm wearing three hats
And he's got bronze badge
I'm healing no Free-To-Play trash
So, no

I don't want your Uber (no)
I don't wanna give you mine and (no)
I don't wanna over heal you (no)
I don't wanna do a high five (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Rockin' them booties and sword
With a Tide Turner
Trying to kill a sentry


I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Sitting on the E key, spamming
After taking five damage
In the chat complaining

You built a gun at the last point
james98 I'm talking to you
You missed a stab on a Brass Beast Heavy
killer420 I'm talking to you
You don't have your monitor turned on
(Asian Letters Guy) I'm talking to you
Wanna get a heal from me, get real, oh no
I don't want, no, oh

No scrub
No scrub (no, no)
No scrub (no, no, no, no, no)
No scrub (no, no)
No

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Rockin' them booties and sword
With a Tide Turner
Trying to kill a sentry

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that won't get no heals from me
Sitting on the E key, spamming
After taking five damage
In the chat complaining


Scrubs

-- LYRICS --
Little ditty
'Bout building on last
Don't do it when the cart's right there
Or else you're a dumbass.

Sentry's gotta be up there
Fighting with the team
Did you just install this game?
Cause that's how it'd seem.

Working hard on a gun
Outside the red spawn
Meanwhile your team's up front
Getting their heads pounded on (they got no support)

"Come on Engie, move that gear up
Your sentry gun is what we need!"
Meanwhile you're AFK
Making nachos and cheese, and we're sayin'

Oh yeah, don't build at spawn
If everyone else is fighting at point one, I said
Oh yeah, don't build at spawn
If everyone else is fighting at point one.

It's common sense, now

Building On Last

feat. iDubbbzTV and Mac

-- TRANSCRIPT --

9-1-1, what's your emergency?

OH MY GOD! There's been a fire! Uh, my whole house is burning down [whinnying horse noise] what to do?

Okay, where are you?

22 Jump Street, Placerville...

Okay, what is your name?

Kevin Smith...

Okay, Kevin - what started this fire?

I found this mixtape by Uncle Dane... put it in my boombox and the whole thing just went up in flames!

.........the fire was started by a mixtape by Uncle Dane?

Yes! UNCLE DANE!

I've heard about that mixtape, how is it?

OH MY GOD, IT'S FIRE!!!!


Intro (Emergency)

feat. Mac

-- LYRICS --

Hey it’s me, your Uncle and
It’s time to throw down
Cause we talkin’ ‘bout the 
Best effect around

We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Cloud 9
Or purple/green confetti
It the unusual effectti
That you’ll never forgetti 

I’m talkin’ green, blue
Purple, yellow waving lights
And it goes by the name of
Miami Nights

When I roll up to the server
Everyone goes insane
All the Medics overheal me
As they say “Hi, Dane.”

But I really can’t blame ‘em
Cause this hat is the best
And every night I thank GabeN
For being truly blessed

For the opportunity
To wear such an effect
That makes my foes sit and sputter 
As they get they'ass wrecked

No, it really can’t compare
And I really don’t care
What the traders all say
That it’s relatively low tier

Cause to me 
It’s all that I need
I got the best damn hat
That ya ever did see

CHORUS
There’s a party on the server
And it’s on my head
You can see it in the kill cam
When you’re dead

I love my Miami 
(Amo a mi Miami)

The effect that you see
When you’re filled with lead
You can see it in the kill cam
When you’re dead

I love my Miami 
(I love my Miami)

Yo, I heard Burning Flames ain’t nothin’ to mess with
But I can’t see a flame in my game, I bring the pain
With my own brand of shimmer, ya quiver
You realize that you're dinner for my sentry gun, you havin’ fun?

You better be
Cause I’mma breaking the economy
Making Miami Nights a great again, I’d rate it a 10
And I'd give it a kiss every now and then
Can a man fall in love with a hat?

Well I’m not sure, but I’ll check with the court
Until then I’m playing Team Defense Fort 
Two
And I’ll be sportin’ Miami Nights
How ‘bout you?

CHORUS
There’s a party on the server
And it’s on my head
You can see it in the kill cam
When you’re dead

I love my Miami 
(Amo a mi Miami)

The effect that you see
When you’re filled with lead
You can see it in the kill cam
When you’re dead

I love my Miami 
(I love my Miami)

Miami Nights

-- LYRICS --

We built this sentry
We built this sentry on Borneo

Built this sentry
We built this sentry on Borneoooooo
OOOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(And then that's all I could come up with.)

We Built This Sentry (On Borneo)

feat. King Raja and Funke-E Fresh

-- LYRICS --

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a

KING RAJA:

Place it right
I'mma do that work
Kill feed
Goin' straight berzerk

Pick it up
Move it too a church
Confessed my sins
Made that sentry twerk

Place it right
I'mma do that work
Turn the sentry on
Plebs are gonna skirt

Rockets busting out
Boy they're gonna hurt
Sentry lookin' 'round
Put you in the dirt

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a

FUNK-E FRESH:

Swing, move up
Make that sentry
Move through their base
Real nice and gently

One door, two teams
Walk in like an entry
Grab the case, lucid chase
Easy like it's elementary

Tele-tele-teleporting 
Everybody, yah
M-m-make you chase me down
Like an outlaw

Out my way
Let me abuse every map flaw
Rippin' everybody down
Like a sharp claw

Don't need forgiveness
For the slaughter that my sentry makes
I'll keep a nest up
No matter what it takes

Call me the baker
'Cause winning is a piece of cake
Ah-hahaha...
Your time's up, ya fake

[NOPE x100]

UNCLE DANE:

Okay
Open up the PDA and let me see my options
For heals and support, a Dispenser I’ll be droppin’
I press four and then one to build up a Sentry
I hit the building fast, use a Jag - extra quickly

I whack, whack and resup as I move my gear up
I loaded my clip in and said, “Packin’ up!”
I’m a Spy, Spy, Heavy, Spy, Scout, Spy killaaaa

Short-short circuit all yo stickies
I’mma picky about your quickie bombs
Ask your mom if her brother’s got it goin’ on
1,000 hours strong 

Never use the Pomson, I’mma go stock, Widow too
Damn dude, taunt much, I don’t wanna MGE you
I’m tryin’ to get behind you
And put down my teleporter

Ha… Now you're spawn camped, so mad
Call me bad, naw dawg… call me ninjaneer

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a

Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Level three
Level level level three
Turn it ‘round, put it down
Show the world you got a


Level Three

feat. Miss Moth

-- TRANSCRIPT --

Oh my God
Baby, you done took this Engineering shit
To another motherfuckin’ level.
Now, a casual player like me,
Ain’t supposed to be gettin’ no team support like this.
Goddamn! Goddamn! 
Who taught you how to play Engie for a team?

(Uncle Taught Me)

You never used to top score, but now you… 
You goddamn carrying, my… my God…
Where’d you learn that?

(Uncle Taught Me)

Look at you… motherfuckin’ 
Austrailium wrench with them Unusual hats on, 
Who taught you how to put an Unusual hat on?

(Uncle Taught Me)

Yo, you took your Engie game up a whole ‘nother level
This is some Cirque du Soleil Engineering now, shit!
You done went all “professional” on a player, okay
And I thank you, I thank you, my team thanks you!

How did you learn… how, 
How did your Engie game come up?

(Uncle Taught Me)

I was going to parts of maps I never been before
I was taking the teleporter like
“Oh shit, I’ve never even seen
This part of Badwater before.”
It’s like you got your shit re-upholstered or some shit
What the fuck happened?
Who, who the fuck got your Engie re-upholstered?

(Uncle Re-Upholstered My Engie)

You know what, I gotta thank Uncle
And when I see that guy, I’m gonna thank him
I’mma subscribe to his channel
I’mma leave a like on that motherfucker
I’mma shoot a favorite

That’s how good I feel about that Uncle
Ahhh, I still can’t believe you got me this wrench
This wrench is the same motherfucker I wanted!
A strange Airwolf, Factory New
You went to the steam market
Yo, some dude had this up on the marketplace
I remember! It was up on the marketplace!
That’s right! That’s right!
Yo, yo, babe, yo yo this is the best birthday ever!
Where you learn to treat a player like this?

(Uncle Taught Me)

Uncle taught you well...
Uncle taught you well...


Interlude (Uncle Taught Me)

feat. Dapper Dog (original song - no lyrics: https://soundcloud.com/dapper-dog/sunshine-overdrive)

-- LYRICS --

CHORUS
When you are building up a nest
Sing this song to pass the time
Your teammates may not be the best
But at least you have these rhymes

Join up to the server and head over
To your favorite spot
I know ya got one
A spot for your sentry gun 

To get your frags
On your best strange killstreak Jag
Another Scout gets tagged
Another rank in the

Bagging on me, raggin on me
Telling me you’re laggin, homie?
And I don’t really care

Because I’m whistling
And pistoling your silly little
Business end 
Right out of the air

(x2)

CHORUS
When you are building up a nest
Sing this song to pass the time
Your teammates may not be the best
But at least you have these rhymes

(WHISTLIN' PISTOL SOLO) 

When your teammates
Are taking your metal
Just kick up the treble
And go back to the base

And if you feel the teams 
Need a scramble
It’s nothing you can’t handle
Just aim for their face

CHORUS
When you are building up a nest
Sing this song to pass the time
Your teammates may not be the best
But at least you have these
But at least you have these
But at least you have these rhymes

Whistlin' N' Pistolin'

feat. Benzy and Muselk

-- LYRICS --

Spies
All I really hates is Spies
Around the corner there’s Spies
And on the staircase it’s Spies

I hate the way that they walk
And I hate when they talk
And I can always make ‘em die
From Badwater to Turbine

Back in the day
I saw this Spy around the way
I grabbed my wrench and said “Let’s play”
He said, “I’m friendly”, I said “k”

So then I turned my back away
He stabbed my back and I’m like, “HEY”
He sapped my sentry, that’s okay
I vowed to make that Spy main pay

I hope Valve will say
All Spies are nerfed with no delay
I asked Gabe please, he said “No way”
And so to Eric I must pray

Please make the Spies all go away
I heard he thinks Spies are okay
And that he’s subbed Uncle Dane
I saw him just the other day

Watching Muselk to my dismay...

Spies
To do a stair stab
Spies
To sap my buildings
Spies
To do a trick stab
Spies 
And also corner stabs

That’s all I really hate is Spies
Two at a time, I hate Spies
With Cloak and Daggers, I hate Spies
I oughta main Pyro, Spies

[SPIES x100]

Spies

Parody of "Ocean Man" by Ween.
Album art by Multiverse Cafe.

--LYRICS--

Engie Man
With a robot hand
Build dispensers and
Sentries in the sand

Engie Man
Take the teleporter to the front, was a good trip

Engie Man
You best have a plan man, or else you’re banned
Busting out the killstreaker Jag

Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over here, near the giant fan

Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed

Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Better use your killstreaker Jag

Engie Man
Engie Man
Engie Man

Ancle Dan
How’d you get your building
To appear in hand
From across the land

Ancle Dan
Your hats and your weapons are so cool, you’re so epic

Ancle Dan
For Crasmas I demand a vintage kratzcrag
I promise I’m your number one fan

Engie Man
Can you please put a sentry over there, near the broken van

Engie Man
Those Spies are elusive, but don’t chase them
Or you’ll get trick stabbed

Engie Man
This defense isn’t going according to plan
Whippin’ out that killstreaker Jag

Engie Man

Engie Man

--WARNING: THIS IS REALLY SPPOKY--

THE TALE OF THE STOLEN PACK

Your sentry's down - dispesner too
The other team is walking through
You run away with health to spare
Your metal count is looking bare...

You see it just around the way
Full ammo pack to save the day
When suddenly, from out of view
A soldier rocket-jumps past you...

He takes your pack and jumps away
You stand there... cold, disheveled...
You're helpless now and it's all thanks to...
The Man Who Took Your Metal

The EngiFEAR Spook Tale Special

Parody of "Choices (Yup)" by E-40.
--LYRICS--

Ever whiff on a shot? (Nope) 
Ever farm a bot? (Yeah)
Ever met somebody better? (Nope) 
Ever help an Engie out when he was low on his metal? (Yeah)
Spy sap? (Nope) 
You good player, you attack? (Yeah)
Lemme borrow that shotgun. (Nope) 
Think stuns are not fun? (Yeah)
Stock weapons every loadout? (Nope) 
When the gates open, go out? (Yeah)
Babysit a level one? (Nope) 
Boy you better run. (Yeah)
You a feeder? (Nope) 
Killer? (Yeah)
Email Eric? (Nope) 
Driller? (Yeah)
You building on last? (Nope) 
Now you upfront, beating on some ass? (Yeah)
Got a little killstreak? (Nope) 
Got a Godlike; gotta do it all week? (Yeah)
Spamming E for the Medic? (Nope) 
Pickin’ up the Medkit? (Yeah)
Bout’a die with your crits? (Nope) 
Rockin’ dope outfits? (Yeah)

Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin’ my name at the top of the board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin’, I already dominate -

Never go down.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me.
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)

Lazy? (Nope)
Got a wrench that’ll drive a Spy crazy? (Yeah)
Mentor? (Nope)
Erectin’ a dispenser? (Yeah)
Trader? (Nope)
Loyal to your team; not a baiter? (Yeah)
Cheap? (Nope)
Play support to keep your team on their feet? (Yeah)
Scared of an Uber? (Nope)
You goofy goober? (Yeah)
Belly? (Nope)
Tele? (Yeah)
Miss everything and die? (Nope)
Check the corner for a Spy? (Yeah)
Trust us? (Nope)
Justice? (Yeah)
Drinkin’ like a Demo? (Nope)
Share a beer with a fella? (Yeah)
Pomson? (Nope)
Swanson? (Yeah)
Never leave the spawn without a hat. (Nope)
Punch a motherfucker with a “BAP”. (Yeah)
Never let a friendly live a second. (Nope)
Always on my toes, spy checkin’. (Yeah)

Everybody builds sentries
I choose to build sentries on top of this shed
Everybody builds sentries
I’m shooting at dudes but they already dead
Everybody builds sentries
Keepin my name at the top of the board
Everybody builds sentries
These players be hatin, I already dominate

Never go down
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I ain’t gotta wear a crown
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
If you dead, you ain’t like me
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)
I give a fuck if you don’t like me
(No no no) I’mma stay and get metal (Yeah yeah yeah)

NOPE

Lazy Star

--LYRICS--

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is fuckin' happening? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

(La la la la la la)

There's no way to predict what you'll find
There's no way to understand the mind
Of a person with a half-a-brain
How can you know what that guy's gonna do?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

There's five people AFK and my team
Has just installed today and I've seen
At least three Spies with no idea
What is going on inside their brain?

Casual Mode Anthem

--LYRICS--

I was playing TF2 the other night
When I suddenly saw the most epic sight
A player on the other team all dressed in green
Brightest loadout of all humankind

We fought each other long and hard - both one on one
But he was dodging left and right, shooting his gun
And finally after a fair fight when he won
In the chat he dropped his Lenny Bind

Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

Look at his weapon shine
Check out that funny sign
He has the superior mind
He got a Lenny-

Bind me to my word, this is the truth
The absolute coolest thing about the youth
Is their hilarious, original, clever quips
I wish that I could ever be that smooth

So when this Scout main owned me in a fight
I was speechless, no way to comeback to the bright
Funny and simply epic chat response
With nothing that could beat a Lenny Bind

Did you see that guy
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

Just hang me out to dry
Cause I’m about to cry
Can I get my weapon signed?
He’s got a Lenny Bind

(Papi Break)

Did you see that guy?
He’s so hip and fly
He’s the coolest guy
'Cause he’s got a Lenny Bind

He shot me and I died
Then owned me with a bind
He’s confident and so kind
He's got a Lenny Bind

Lenny Bind

ft. iDubbbzTV & Mac

--LYRICS--

Guess who’s back 
Back again 
Uncle’s back 
Tell a friend 

Uncle’s back 
(x7) 

I’ve created a sentry 
‘Cause nobody wants a Dispenser no more 
They want a killer to deliver 
Well if you want Uncle, this is what I’ll give ya 
A little bitty Mini with a Widowmaker 
Couple shots that’ll straight up drop a medic and a heavy combo 
They hop to the restock closet 
As the round time left on the clock is fading 
And I’m top of the scoreboard, I’m dominating 

You kids in the comments can stop debating 
If I’ll make another mixtape, it’s long awaited 
I know you’re trying to blow a conch to save me 
But I’ve got five pocket medics on me baby 

I’m an Engineer fuckin’ wit' ya ears, tryin’ to keep things weird 
Tryin’ to show his peers 
That all you can do is sit here and call me queer 
But you’d never do this in a million years 

So, come on and build a gun on the hill 
Fuck that - a gun in your grill, and farmin’ the kills 
And get ready, cause this guy’s gonna rage-heavy 
I just hit three hundred thousand 
Fuck you Delfy! 

So lay back and let’s drink some beer 
And everybody, move up your gear 
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here 
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer 
(x2) 

Little nephews, it’s a wonder I get views 
All I do is jizz that my Engineer set rules 
I start feeling like the people with these views 
Have never watched a second of my channel 
And that’s cool 

He mains Engie, brain must be empty 
Started a revolution, pollutin’ the game state 
A Valve shill 
Well let me make things clear that Engineer 
Is the only thing a tiny bit weird 
Besides my white beard 

I never asked for this 
I never passed any class 
To read a mountain of sass 
But now I’m Batman 
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na 

Put a mask on when I wanna play a game of Badlands 
But then again, I can’t exactly take this shit for granted 
All I wanna do is show the world the Engie’s not a turtle 

It’s interesting - what I think is the best thing 
Interests these kids who watch vids, no resting 

Testing: your minds are free 
To have a thought that doesn’t involve what me 
And all the YouTubers think about what should be 
On the patch notes when it updates for free 

So lay back and let’s drink some beer 
And everybody, move up your gear 
‘Cause we need a little, dispenser here 
‘Cause I feel like playin’ Engineer 
(x2)

Feel Like Playin' Engineer (ft. IDubbbzTV & Mac)

Valve Drive Thru (ft. Ben Zimmer)

--LYRICS--

Nobody play with me 
Spies get away from me 
Waaaay... 
(Yeah! Yeah!) 

Ay, I require heavy sandwiches and medic overheal 
I’m about to make a fuckin’ play that Lucky Luke will feel 
Loaded all my shots, I’m in my spot with both hands on the wheel
Get on my cam, because you’ll want this up in your demo reel 

I can see their Medic sittin’ there without a hint of 
What I’m ‘bout to do next - more oblivious than Mike Scott 
Oooh, dat Heavy’s good, but he won’t see me: The Engie Bomb 
Yo, give me an opening and just consider him gone 

DM ‘til the AM, I am the M of this PUG 
Pissin’ off the DM, playin’ D&D - that’s luck 
If you try to BM, me still be the greatest, punk 
I just quit this season because I don’t need this junk 

My last vid just went viral 
Next vid’ll put subbies in a spiral 
Behind the scenes I like to make the Medic’s die, tho 
There’s secret to it I know, bitch 
In tunnel 

Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down 

Who dat Scout thinkin’ that he walkin’ on my land 
Get the fuck off my flank with the Sandman 
Get the fuck off that point - out my scene 
I’ll make a play fuckin’ up your whole team 

I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Overwatch 
Please compare this game to something good like Quake: Live 
Compare it to a game that’s not a Fisher-Price FPS 
Keep your clusterfuck roster, I’ll take my nine classes any day 

And that’s not that crazy, ay 
You too scared to play me, ay 
Throw a wrench into the fray 
If you want a crazy game 
Hackers do not phase me, ay 
I do not play DayZ, ay 
Never even blazed it, ay 
White beard, never shave it, ay 
I’m CGP Grey, meets Dunkey mixed with Vsauce, ay 
Watch my frag vids, and let’s hear the Meds talk, ay 
If I kill a Medic, it won’t be an accident, ay 
I’m not pending in fact I’m sent, bitch 
In tunnel 

Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel 
Med down, in tunnel

MED DOWN

Special thanks to Exonova for mixing and autotuning.

--LYRICS--

Playin 6v6 with my bros 
Countin’ dominations how it goes 
Pray our Medics live forever, man 
Pray the hackers get exposed 

I want a dispenser over here 
I’ll stab someone’s back ‘n disappear 
Killed you with the Huntsman, that’s on purpose 
Gibus gettin’ carried don’t deserve it 

They don’t like how serious I take this game 
Yelling in the chat my teammates are to blame 
You’re 0-10 man, I don’t have no time for that 
AFK in spawn, you get vote kicked for that 

Yo, front’s where you find me at 
At mid’s where you’ll find me at 

I knew player named Steven Serge 
Relatable YouTuber gamer Ster 
He put me on to that TF2 
That was back when I was just a noob 

Then Gun Mettle dropped, it was reskins and contracts 
Man, that’s when they add snowplow after the backlash 
Man I’m talkin’ way before Highpass 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Yeuh 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 

Don’t fuck with my team dude, they’s is a Death Merchant, whoa 
Look at my Uber glow 
Here - take my sandvich, it’s made out of sourdough 
My team is here I got Solly and Sniper and Engie and Heavy 
And whoa 

And where did my Medic go... 
I might declare it a win if our Demoman hadn’t decided to throw 

Yeah, but where did that Medic go 
Their team irrational, go back to casual 
Where did their fashion go, whoa 

My buddy Pazer, he heal me, we both have Unusuals 
Entrance up, exit up, build it up, level up 
Gotta get more that ammo 

I’m turnin’ into a player that thinks about fraggin’ and winnin’ 
Like 24/7, that’s where this game took me 
That’s just how it happened to go 

And you know... 
I was playin’ 6v6 with my... 
With my... 

I was playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Where did that Medic go 
Playin’ 6v6 with my bros 

(6v6 break) 

With my bros...

Interlude (ft. ArraySeven)

--LYRICS--

I fly like Soldier, jump high like Scout 
If you catch me in the spawn room I got pizza in my mouth 
If you come around here, I’ll build Dispenser 
I’ll get one down in a second if you’re hurt 
(x2) 

Sometimes I get hit by the trains 
Every time I swear I’m gonna unselect Freight 
Everyone’s a bully, shootin’ my brain 
Better not make fun of my weapon’s nickname 
(x2) 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4) 

Pirate hats and gnomes 
Pistol skins and meat and cones 
Runnin’ while we shoot ‘em 
Little Pyro for protection 
(x2) 

No one on the market got swagger like us 
Got banana hats and killstreak strange guns 
We wrap and deliver YouTuber signed stuff 
You pay an extra key for the trouble it costs 
(x2) 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4) 

Uncle Dane... 
Third Campaign 2017... 
Yeah, I got more spawn room snacks than a LAN party 
So… don’t bother me… 
You ready, ya’ll? 

Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger 
Sometimes it’s a taco 
Some, some, sometimes it’s a burger 
Sometimes it’s a taco 

All I wanna do is (shotgun x4) 
And I (wrench + gun) 
And build a sentry 
(x4)

Build A Sentry

--LYRICS--

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Shy guy named “DIE” used to main Amby Spy 
Big dope long range killer, he was makin’ ‘em die 
Wasn’t playin’ as Sniper but still gettin’ the headshots 
But then Valvey threw that nerf on, now he aim like easy bots 

And now it’s miss, miss, miss 
Cause when he tries to cheese it, there’s no swiss 
What’s makin’ that sound, oh it’s a Spies clenched fist 
I’m happy now that Spy mains are so pissed 
Cause that’s some dumb shiiiiiiii- 

By the way, that you play 
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill 
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill 
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill 
You keep tellin’ me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill 
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab 
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag 
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap 

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
(Look at that Bap) 
Look at, look at, look at 
Look, at that Bap 

This dude named “$T1N63R” used to use the Dead Ringer 
Shot him 5 times with my pistol, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Winger 
Real pussy-ass player, shooting blanks with my rifle 
But then they hit it with a nerf and now he callin’ me spiteful 

Now I’m like bang, bang, bang 
Run for that ammo now you little shit stain 
Can’t escape me now that you can’t spam feigns 
Don’t like this song, well you can blame uberchain 
This is some dumb shiiiiii- 

By the way, that you play 
I can tell you ain’t havin’ no chill 
Come on up and stab me or are you a lil grill 
Fuckin’ dead ringer shill who can barely get a kill 
You keep tellin me it’s skill, that you’ve got a role to fill 
Play broken subclass ‘cause he never gets a stab 
So I pull it out my bag, and I crit him with the Jag 
Like bappity-bappity-bap-bap-bap 

The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke 
The Ambassador’s broke, no fun unless you upfront, son 

Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
Oh my Gosh… look at that Bap 
(Look at that Bap) 
Look at, look at, look at 
Look, at that Bap

Ambassador

ft. Freddie TF2

--LYRICS--

Bro, you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 

Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun 
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone? 
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s 
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun 

Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension 
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun 
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations 
And this dedication is to the pocketation 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 

You’re a God when it comes to overhealing 
But you never got protection that you needed 
Then one day you saw me broken and bleeded 
Healed me and proceeded, objective completed 

And we’ve never been apart from that day on 
Giving pubbers a-a run-run-run for their mon-mon 
I know it’s odd to have feelings that are this strong 
For a dude’s medi gun who shoves it up my bun-bun 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby 


Dude, come on and use your Uber 
On this YouTuber 
(I’ll never drop you, you’re my bruh) 

Let’s use the Kritz because they’re grouped up 
They really fooked up 
(Now rain your rockets from above) 

Now switch to Quickfix and we’ll jump around 
And now we’ll really pound 
(Look now I’m flying like a dove) 

And then it’s time to switch to the Vacc 
Because that Sniper hacks 
(You’ll never die to a headshot) 

Pubs are one big farm for your strange gun 
But who’s gonna have your back when your team’s gone? 
It seems good when you’re taking on 1v1s 
Don’t be a noob, son - you need a pocket medi gun 

Looking back, I see my bro’s apprehension 
Can we really dry push on this sentry gun 
But I was sure we’d get ten dominations 
And this dedication is to the pocketation 

Bro you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
Stomp the server when we use kritzkrieg, baby 
Shawty you’re my pocket, you’re my darling pocket 
You give me heals when I’m in need, baby

My Pocket (ft FreddieTF2)

ft. FUNKe, Soundsmith, Lady Stanger & Muselk

--LYRICS--

For a long time we’ve been fighting over gravel 
With no healer around, no doubt we’ll lose the battle 
Between the awful teams & chat bind memes 
We want this round to end 

Hey! Think of instead, a Medic Girlfriend… 
Huh? 
That’s what I said! A Medic Girlfriend… 

She’d wear a beak of Circling Hearts 
With killstreak eyes of fire 
My girl will marvel at my kills 
As I shield her from gunfire 

I couldn’t care what hats she wears or what she looks like 
It all depends on what she equips like 
Kritz, Vacc, Uber… Ooooohhh…. 

Bet the Casual Meds think you are quite the pocket 
And I’ll bet the ladies love Australium rocket (launchers) 
You can bet that we could use a girl 
Who’d help our wounds to mend 

What do we want? 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

My girl will think I have no deaths 
That I’m an epic guy 
Uhh… how ‘bout a girl who’s multi-class? 
Who picks what her team needs? (NAH!) 

My perfect runs and Hale’s Own guns are sure to thrill her! 
He thinks he’s such a great pubstomper… 

I’ve a girl back home who always likes to heal me 
Bet the only girl who’d heal him plays as Mercy 

And to say that we are desperate nerds is something we’ll contend 
But I really want... 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

Wish that I had... 
A Medic Girlfriend! 

(Whistle) 
A Medic GIRLFRIEN

Medic Girlfriend (ft FUNKe, Soundsmith, Lady Stanger & Muselk)

--LYRICS--

You healed me with a bow 
I love it (I love it)
You healed me with a bow
I love it (I love it)

You healed me with a bow
I love it (I love it)
You shot it through the door
Stuck it (door stuck)

I just pulled out my DH and
Hit a guy flying above it
Then I meatshot 15 Spies and
Crit a Heavy with a rocket

And my team is feelin’ aggro 
Like we Kritzkast, gettin’ Agro
All this fire on my screen 
Look like we live in California

Thanks to me their Sniper’s down
Ooh, nice, we can move up
Me and my crew stompin’ noobs
Win, queue, find a new pub 

You healed me with a bow 
I love it (SCOOTS!) (I love it)
You healed me with a bow
I love it (I love it)

You healed me with a bow

"When’s the first time you figured out you’re supposed to stand still when a Medic’s trying to arrow you? Why you trying to act like you wasn’t jumpin’ around like crazy before?"

You healed me with a-

Someone’s got luck, so look out quick duck (CRIT!)
Someone’s got luck, so look out quick duck (CRIT!)
Someone’s got luck, so look out quick duck (CRIT!)
Someone’s got luck, so look out quick duck (CRIT!)

Someone’s got luck, so look out quick duck
I like to click hunks, I’ll buy you some cool junk
I’ll buy you a new hat, it’s signed by THE Funke
How’d I misclick? My finger slipped up

Look out quick duck, I’m dodging bullets
I like reading chat; I like that dumb shit
Show me some more binds; I like that dumb shit
Send me your config, you try hard ˡᶦˡ ᵇᶦᵗᶜʰ

You healed me with a bow
I love it (I love it)
You healed me with a bow
I love it (I love it)

You Healed Me With A Bow

Parody of "God's Plan" by Drake

--- LYRICS ---
And I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’
I’m buildin’ sentries
Yuh

I’ve been playin’ Engie since two-thousand-thirteen
Trying to keep a gun up was a struggle for me
Then I got an invite to a highlander team
Next thing that you know I’m on a killstreak

I can never die because you heal me
Fifty thousand kills just with my sentry
Invite champion cause I got carried
But I deserve a trophy, I can gift it to me

Gold pan, gold pan
I could buy it, but I won’t, yuh
I miss shots, sometimes I don’t, ay, don’t
I like playin’ my banjo, ay, yes
Hit you with a B-A-P, yeah, what?
Download TF2 for free, yuh, wait
But it’s anything but cheap

And still...
Bad teams
There’s a lot of bad teams
And I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’
I’m buildin’ sentries

Bad teams
There’s a lot of bad teams
And I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’
I’m buildin’ sentries
Yuh, ay, ay

She say, “Do you love me?”
I tell her, “Only partly.”
I only love my wrench
And dispenser, I’m sorry

Build a gun, and I got 50 frenchies on me
Look I won, dance in your spawn room, it’s a party
And you know me
Turn a level 2 into a level 3, ya’ll
Without John & Robin there’d be no me
Imagine if I never played as engie

Gold pan, gold pan
I could buy it, but I won’t, ay, no
I miss shots, sometimes I don’t, yup, whoa
I like playin’ my banjo, ay, bro, ay
Hit you with that B-A-P, yuh, wait
Still got lots of noobs to teach, ay, wait
I make sure these engies keep, at it, ay

And still...
Bad teams
There’s a lot of bad teams
And I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’
I’m buildin’ sentries
Yuh... yuh

Bad teams
There’s a lot of bad teams
And I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’, I’m buildin’
I’m buildin’ sentries
Yuh

And their snipers, their snipers, their snipers, their snipers
Are pissin' on me
And they're kickin', they're kickin', they're kickin', they're kickin'
They're vote-kickin' me

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