so long. (unmixed/snippet)

Lyrics

I can do a lot with this microphone and my thoughts
For 5 whole years I only took a couple nights off
And every time I did I met a new demon to fight off
Safe to say I learned my lesson, all I see now is progression

I don't focus on the path ahead
I been making my own sometimes don't know where to step
So sometimes I fall through, don't know where to run to
Relapse or rewind that's what I'm never gone do

You could never fathom what I feel
I'm the only me so only I know what it is
Not saying I'm special but I got a head full
Of memories I only that I went through

Truthfully all of our lives are a lie
We all wake up choose who to be just to survive
The real you is the farthest from who you are
If you take off that mask you won't know who you are

Neither would I, I'm scared of what's inside
Of this head full of thoughts that I always will hide
I barely cry cause I wasted so many tears
With the time that I did could of moved on from it

I'm a wizard, I spell out these words
Spit a verse like it's magic but some are a curse
Turn something tragic to something that's worse
Now I watch what I say cause these vibrations lurk

You could never fathom what I feel
I'm the only me so only I know what it is
Not saying I'm special but I got a head full
Of memories I only that I went through

Truthfully all of our lives are a lie
We all wake up choose who to be just to survive
The real you is the farthest from who you are
If you take off that mask you won't know who you are

Find my mind when I'm losing it, havoc I'm fluent in
Told me don't do it, I'm doing it
This beat is a drug, I'm abusing it
I don't like talking to people, I'm threw with it

I sit in front a screen just screaming
Sat in the back of class just dreaming
'Member you laughin at what I believed in
Don't come to me actin like I was believed in

truthfully.

finally was able to access my old laptop and here are some songs i'd like to share

i do.

Produced by soprettyanxiety, Nuxe & Coward

This song is an intense and raw reflection of my internal struggle, creative frustrations, and the pressure to meet external expectations. It reveals the depth of my pain, the ways I’ve used music as a coping mechanism, and the realization that something essential was missing throughout it all. From a faith-based perspective, this song represents a moment of reckoning—a realization that no amount of external validation or creative expression can fill the void that only God can complete.

The Missing Piece:

“This is my puzzle so you see the image but you cannot tell that I’m missing a piece.”

This line beautifully conveys the feeling of incompleteness. In the Bible, this missing piece is often identified as the absence of a relationship with God. No matter how complete the “image” appears, the soul longs for something more—God’s presence.

Scripture reminder:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

The Frustration with External Expectations:

“They miss unknxwn. when he rapped like this, they don’t know that he hated that shit.”

This reflects the weight of being misunderstood by not only my audience but in the world. I've carried the burden of creating art that resonated with others but didn’t align with your inner truth. 

Scripture reminder:

“Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)

Questioning Your Path:

“Oh my God, which of my turns were wrong? I can’t find out, I been here way too long.”

This moment of desperation acknowledges the need for guidance. The Bible encourages us to seek wisdom and trust God’s direction in our lives.

Scripture reminder:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Lyrics

They miss unknxwn. when he rapped like this, they don't know that he hated that shit
They don't know that he needed to scream, that he needed to sing to get out that ditch
Yeah the lyrics were deep but the shit he was saying did not feel complete
This is my puzzle so you see the image but you cannot tell that I'm missing a piece

I might swing fist at all of this
I'm stuck, it's fuck my monument
I'm sick as shit of all of it
I wanna make you feel just how I get

When I'm stuck in the back of my mind
Where no one even looks just to see if it's fine
I feel like a book that ain't got any spine
So when I turn a page, I don't know if it's mine

Resonate with that song so much I can't make a part 2 and say one single line
Sick of these comments coming from people that don't got a life tryna comment on mine
"Hey, unknxwn. you fell off with rock" "Hey, unknxwn. I'm missing the old shit"
"Hey, unknxwn. I fuck with you a lot" I DON'T CARE! CAN YOU GET OFF OF MY DICK?

SAY YOU LOVE ME, YOU THINK THAT I CARE BITCH?
ALL I CARE ABOUT ME, NO ONE ELSE BITCH
WHAT I SAY AT THE START ABOUT SCREAMING?
IF I DON'T THEN I CAN'T GET UP OUT THIS

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'D BE IF WITHOUT THIS
REALLY AM BUT I ACT LIKE I'M NOT PISSED
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, OUT OF OPTIONS
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I CAN'T STOP IT

They miss unknxwn. when he rapped like this, they don't know that he hated that shit
They don't know that he needed to scream, that he needed to sing to get out that ditch
Yeah the lyrics were deep but the shit he was saying did not feel complete
This is my puzzle so you see the image but you cannot tell that I'm missing a piece

Oh my God, which of my turns were wrong?
I can't find out, I been here way too long

this is my puzzle so you see the image but you cannot tell that i'm missing a piece.

Produced by fowni x luffysome

This song is another deeply personal reflection, revealing themes of betrayal, regret, loneliness, and a longing for love. It carries an intense emotional weight and expresses the pain of broken relationships, self-inflicted wounds, and a desire for redemption. From a faith-based perspective, this song can serve as a powerful testimony of transformation, showing the contrast between living for oneself and finding hope and healing in God.

Trusting Others vs. Trusting God:

“Putting my trust into someone and thinking they’ll help me but really get stabbed in the back.”

This reflects the pain of misplaced trust in people who I allowed to let me down. The Bible reminds us to place our ultimate trust in God, who never fails.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” (Psalm 118:8)

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust others but rather that your foundation should be built on God, who provides security and hope even when others fail.

Self-Destruction and Redemption:

“Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love.”

This line acknowledges the fleeting comfort of substances and the deeper void they leave behind. True peace and love can only be found in a relationship with Christ.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18)

Regret and Ownership of the Past:

“I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn’t care, that’s a fact.”

This honest acknowledgment of past selfishness and wrongdoing is a critical step toward healing and growth. The Bible calls this repentance, and it’s the path to God’s forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Lyrics

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love
I was broke so I ran up some bands, why the fuck do I still feel alone?
And I'm sorry to all of my friends that I made wanna leave me alone
I just wish I could tell you thank you, helped me more than you ever could know

What I lost I won't ever get back, it's my fault so I'll leave it at that
I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn't care, that's a fact
I ain't care about nobody else, all I cared about then was myself
And I'm honestly still a bit selfish but I'm only like that for my health

I ain't finna go break my back for a bitch that won't ever care about that
I ain't finna go reach my hand out tryna save someone that wouldn't reach back
I ain't finna go waste my time opening up and getting attached
Putting my trust into someone and thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back

Bitch, don't text me, don't wanna chat
Bitch, don't test me, I'll fucking snap
Where my heart should be there is a gap
Cause I gave it to her and she didn't give it back

Okay, she did but that shit turned to ash
So what if she did? Man, that shit wouldn't last
Cause she's all that I need
So I can't let her leave

No, I can't let her go, wish you'd call but I know you won't
I just wish I could let you know when I say "I hate you" just know I don't
I don't even know who I am, am I detmer or garrett or ken?
But I know who I need and they'll never come back again

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

put my trust into someone thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back.

Produced by kledyy

This song carries a deep emotional weight, capturing themes of identity, longing, self-conflict, and inner turmoil. It’s a powerful piece but it’s important to note that it represents a past version of myself that was caught in double-mindedness and seeking validation through relationships, identities, and external recognition.

The lyrics reveal a struggle with self-identity and fractured personas. I express the pain of trying to reconcile different parts of myself—Ken, Detmer, Garrett, Qayin, and unknxwn.—and the longing for someone’s love and acceptance.

From a faith perspective, this could serve as a testimony of how God’s love has provided me with the wholeness and purpose I was searching for through those identities.

Identity:

“Ken is my name but I’m not who he is” reflects the disconnect you felt from your true self.

Biblical truth:

God created you with purpose, and your identity is ultimately rooted in Him.

“I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

Love and Longing:

“Wish you would tell me you love me, you won’t” expresses a deep yearning for love and acceptance.

Biblical truth: 

God’s love is unconditional and fills the void that no human relationship can.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Inner Conflict:

“Garrett told Detmer to unhand me” and “I’m not alive, I’m an echo” capture the battle between the parts of yourself and a sense of emptiness.

Biblical truth:

True peace comes from surrendering all parts of yourself to God.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)

Lyrics

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

Why you leave me on my own?
I need you more than I need my own breath in my body
Cause what is it worth
If you're not the one that I'm spending it on?

Ken, detmer, garrett, qayin, unknxwn.
They came to save me when I was alone
Nobody else did, nobody else will
Nobody on earth will know the pain I feel

Guess I'll explain it again, Ken is my name but I'm not who he is
Detmer is all of the things that he hid, Garrett just wanna make peace and amend
Qayin don't really care who he is, he gone be cool with whoever he with
unknxwn. is an alias we only use it when tryna be confident but we be faking it

Don't call me crazy, I'm not, I make sense to myself and that's all that I got
Cause what's it all matter if what really matters to me is not what I say I believe?
So find out what matters to you & don't ever let it be moved
And don't ever let it get lost, cause you only get one and that's all

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

ken is my name but I'm not who he is.

Lyrics

If you look me in my eyes, you can find out what I am
But don't look me in my eyes cause I know that you won’t understand
Please don't go inside my mind cause you probably won't ever get out
Why you leave me for that guy? Can you tell me what that’s all about?
Can you tell me why you left? Can you tell me why you ain't here?
You can take away all my stress, you can take away all my fear
You can take away all my hurt, you can take away all my doubt
You can take away all my pain, you can save me if I drown
But you ain't do that, you gave me all that back
You gave me so much more, I don't think imma come back

I don't think I can be saved
I don't think I'm really worth anything more than pain
I think I need to be...

I think I need to be put in the dirt
Wanted you bad, now I want you worse
I hurt you last but you hurt me first
I don't care if you’re poison, quench my thirst
You’re lost fire, I'll burn
I’m so tired, won't learn
My lesson, I'm stressing
Can you please read my message?
Can you return my call? Why I'm still in my car?
Tryna find where you are, please don't be too far

i don't care if you're poison just quench my thirst.

Produced by fowni x jaysset 

Lyrics

Bite my teeth and I clinch my fist
I tried hard but I couldn't resist
Miss your lips, girl I miss your kiss
Really wish that I could but can't get out my head

Fuck waking up, I can't get out my bed
Told you to stay but you left me instead
Wish I knew what I should do
I talk to her and pretend that she's you

Told you before, I'm delusional
You treat me so ugly but you're beautiful
Found you again what you moving for?
You won't escape me until you're a corpse

Keep fucking with me and I'll expedite it
If it makes you feel safer then go ahead, change your name
But I swear that I'll still find it
If you stayed then I wouldn't be like this

Don't try to say that this ain't your fault
You coulda saved me but you said fuck off
Tasted your love, baby I need it all
My head is spiraling and it won't stop

It never will because you won't come back to me
Won't ever be enough for you but you were already enough for me

Bite my teeth and I clinch my fist
I tried hard but I couldn't resist
Miss your lips, girl I miss your kiss
Really wish that I could but can't get out my head

Fuck waking up, I can't get out my bed
Told you to stay but you left me instead
Wish I knew what I should do
I talk to her and pretend that she's you

if you stayed then i wouldn't be like this.

Produced by flower x luffysome

Lyrics

She was my queen, I thought I was her king but she jacked up my heart, I got played like some cards
I don't know why you left, I don't know why you ran, girl you know that I'll find you wherever you are
Did you think we were done? Girl, I'm sam I am, I can have you near, I can have you far
Girl my life won't be better, my life won't be okay
Until the day that I have your heart

She was my queen, I thought I was her king so I trusted her but she fucked me over
I got a void in my chest, it won't be put to rest until her life is fucking over
Girl I'm just playing, I need you alive if you're dead then there isn't a purpose in mine
Either I'm tryna get you or I'm the one with you

Yeah you might feel what I'm sayin', you do not know what I been through
Hold up this wasn't the plan, I don't know what I got myself into
Bitch, why in the fuck is you playin'? You can't get rid of me that simple
Acting like I ain't ever did shit when you know damn well that I did though

Why you gotta be like that? Beat me down, make me so sad
You ain't gotta do all that, can you keep me around? You're all that I have
Baby can you please come back? Who I was before you, I can't go back
They say that hearts don't have bones...how the fuck she broke that?

*auditory agony*

until the day i have your heart.

BEHIND!

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling, that feeling is gone

I don't like people, I stay to myself
Don't lie to my face and say that you can help
I don't like people, I stay to myself
Don't lie to my face and say that you can help

No cure for me so theres no care for me
Call me your friend but you're not there for me
I'll never fit in, theres no "pair" for me
I'll never leave but they don't bear for me

Only thing I ever do is complain
Head overflown with all of this damn pain
Pain is the ocean tie weights to my brain
Stuck in the rain watch me go up in flames

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling that feeling is gone

Only thing I ever do is complain
Head overflown with all of this damn pain
Pain is the ocean tie weights to my brain
Stuck in the rain watch me go up in flames

Told you my problems you just replied "damn"
Honestly I do not know where I am
This aint a place I recall calling home
Home is a feeling that feeling is gone

this is my puzzle so you see the image but you cannot tell that i'm missing a piece.

unknxwn.

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