In this episode of the Business Mechanic Show, the three hidden layers of every difficult conversation are broken down with precision. What often starts as a simple discussion about performance or behavior can quickly escalate when deeper emotions and identity concerns go unrecognized. This episode dives deep into why most managers mishandle tough conversations—and how to shift from reactive manager to confident, emotionally intelligent leader. Listeners will explore the three essential layers beneath every challenging interaction: what happened, what was felt, and how identity was impacted. The episode explains how most managers stay stuck on the surface (the facts) and miss the emotions or ego threats that truly drive the other person’s reactions. Through clear explanations and real-world role play, it provides a new framework for navigating emotionally charged conversations with clarity, curiosity, and composure. It’s not about controlling the other person—it’s about managing your own approach. The episode introduces practical techniques like pattern interrupts, three-layer prep, post-conversation reflection, and habit rewiring to help leaders build the muscle for better communication. By learning how to slow things down, acknowledge feelings, and preserve someone’s sense of identity, leaders can avoid triggering defense mechanisms and build deeper trust. If you’ve ever left a conversation thinking, “That didn’t go well,” this episode gives you the language, mindset, and tools to do better next time. &nbsp;  Episode Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome to the Business Mechanic Show 01:05 – When conversations go off the rails 02:44 – Why surface-level facts aren’t enough 05:18 – Layer One: The “What Happened” conversation 07:35 – Avoiding assumptions and creating shared understanding 10:20 – Layer Two: The “Feelings” conversation 13:12 – How unspoken emotions derail logic 15:40 – Acknowledging emotions without fixing them 17:54 – Layer Three: The “Identity” conversation 20:45 – How to avoid triggering someone’s ego 23:10 – Preparing with the three-layer framework 25:20 – Post-conversation reflection and habit rewiring 27:10 – Key takeaway: you can’t fix three layers with one-layer tactics &nbsp;  Links: The full framework from this episode is also available in the free downloadable ebook  &nbsp;  Join our mailing list to receive our team's latest news and updates. Don’t worry; your information will not be shared. &nbsp;We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information for any reason.   Contact&nbsp;&nbsp;for a Free Consultation

How to Have Difficult Conversations Without Making These Three Big Mistakes

&nbsp; The Real-World Steps to being a World Class Leader. Learn my “Transformational Triangle”. It provides you the Step by Step Educational Strategy, Support Through Coaching and the Mindset Performance Technique that create a new you.&nbsp; Once you have started the program and apply it, you, in turn, will have a huge impact on your company's performance. &nbsp;This Video is just one of the steps to understanding how to transform yourself into the great leader you want to be. All my leadership coaching and management training programs are based on me living it for decades, not teaching theory out of some book.

Improving Performance Reviews Part 1

The Real-World Steps to being a World Class Leader. Learn my “Transformational Triangle”. It provides you the Step by Step Educational Strategy, Support Through Coaching and the Mindset Performance Technique that create a new you.&nbsp; Once you have started the program and apply it, you in turn will have a huge impact on your company's performance. &nbsp;This Video is just one of the steps to understanding how to transform yourself into the great leader you want to be. All my leadership coaching and management training programs are based on me living it for decades, not teaching theory out of some book.

Catcth Them Doing It Right!

&nbsp; The Real-World Steps to being a World Class Leader. Learn my “Transformational Triangle”. It provides you the Step by Step Educational Strategy, Support Through Coaching and the Mindset Performance Technique that create a new you.&nbsp; Once you have started the program and apply it, you in turn will have a huge impact on your company's performance. &nbsp;This Video is just one of the steps to understanding how to transform yourself into the great leader you want to be. All my leadership coaching and management training programs are based on me living it for decades, not teaching theory out of some book.

Improving Performance Reviews Part 2

We tend to avoid them and hope they will just go away. They don't and eventually, we have to deal with them. This leadership development training will give you the RIGHT Way to deal with those problem people. You will gain confidence and in the future know how to avoid hiring them and if you create one how to deal with the problem before it affects your entire team. &nbsp; The Real-World Steps to being a World Class Leader. Learn my “Transformational Triangle”. It provides you the Step by Step Educational Strategy, Supports Through Coaching and the Mindset Performance Technique that create a new you.&nbsp; Once you have started the program and apply it, you, in turn, will have a huge impact on your company's performance. &nbsp;This Video is just one of the steps to understanding how to transform yourself into the great leader you want to be. All my leadership coaching and management training programs are based on me living it for decades, not teaching theory out of some book. &nbsp;    00:000

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Improving Peformance Reviews Part 3

The Real-World Steps to being a World Class Leader. Learn my “Transformational Triangle”. It provides you the Step by Step Educational Strategy, Support Through Coaching and the Mindset Performance Technique that create a new you.&nbsp; Once you have started the program and apply it, you in turn will have a huge impact on your company's performance. &nbsp;This Video is just one of the steps to understanding how to transform yourself into the great leader you want to be. All my leadership coaching and management training programs are based on me living it for decades, not teaching theory out of some book. &nbsp;

Improving Performance Reviews Part 4

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Who’s Running You? Easy Time Management Tips that are hard to put into place
There’s an old saying “Time Flies and you’re the Pilot”
•	Anybody that is growing in their career or in their business, is unlikely to ever wake up one day and have less to do. 
•	Nope, that would be a pretty sexy fantasy that most overworked, stressed out frustrated executives and managers have given up on. But Wait! Maybe there is a way of having less stress, less pressure, fewer distractions and surprises.
•	 It just won’t happen overnight. 
•	Take control of your work load. It is the only way to truly manage your responsibilities to a level where the job is not running you.
•	 Easier said than done…right? How in the world do you literally start running your business and stop your business running you?
•	Allow the Business Mechanic to show what’s broken under your hood so we can order the right parts, then get them installed. 
•	It’s not a 30-minute lube job. This will be  a long-term commitment by you in order to make this change work.
•	Understand and accept that the biggest barrier to time management is YOU!
•	You must raise your level of self accountability. Commit to your self that you will  take these approaches one at a time. There is no order to them, just pick one that you would like to start with and get started.
•	I learned an important lesson not long ago from Dr. John O’Keefe. It takes 21 days to BEGIN to form a habit, not ingrain a habit.
•	 It takes months to fully form a new habit into your daily life to where it is fully part of your natural routine.
•	 Ah RATS, instant success is not part of this advice. Thanks for that insight Dr John.
•	 Don’t get down on yourself if your resort back to your old ways during the formation phase. Just recognize it, stop, readjust and get back on track to forming a better personal relationship with your workload.
•	As any Business Coach would tell you…You must become uncomfortable to begin the process of learning and changing anything in your daily habits. 
•	So that’s where you must hold yourself accountable, know that it will take a while, it will not be easy or come without some level of discomfort and strain
•	I'm sharing some great tips today to help you begin to start the process of changing who runs your day

Time Mangement Tips For Leadership DevelopmentVideo

Vaughn is the co-founder of Results-Driven Leadership. He is a leadership development expert, podcaster, and author. His methods are brought from his real-world experience working on the front lines and living the role of being a results-driven leader and manager.

There is no theory, just common-sense advice, and direction from someone who developed the team that scaled a $2 Billion business with 3000 employees. CarMax is the world's largest and most respected auto industry companies and is a Fortune 100 Best Places to Work.

Vaughn's mission is to improve the impact of executives and other managers by increasing their knowledge, skills, and abilities. His motto is "No matter what business you're in; you're in the people business."

How to Have Difficult Conversations Without Making These Three Big Mistakes

The Business Mechanic