I love your honesty in the comments Michael - but I have to say, I thought it all worked really well. A lovely song.

I really enjoyed this song Mike - a soaring chorus, lovely arrangement and delicate melody. The vocal range of a song catches me out too sometimes, but I think you handled it really well :) A great composition!

Great chorus, and this arrangement does a really good job setting it up, too

I felt your vocals fit well to this song, very delicate and beautiful. And the composition and sounds are excellent!

Honestly, Mike, don't overthink it, just sing! The passion shines through in your voice, and that's how you recognize an artist who puts their heart and soul into their work. I much prefer listening to an amateur who gives it their all than a pro who sings coldly.

What a great pop song! Really enjoyed listening!

After completing the song, I found a noticeable spread between the highest & lowest notes.  So I had a hard time with the vocals.  I could have altered the notes to fit the voice but in the end I decided to go with the original.  Please bear with my singing.

The lyrics is extracted from a lengthy poem I came across on the web.
In the end, perhaps the plot doesn't make much sense anyway.  So let's assume it's just for the sake of making a song.   See what you think.

Thanks much for stopping by.

[CREDITS]
Music / Vocals / Programming / Arrangement :  Michael C. Lynn
Lyrics  :  Neruda / Merwin
Electric Guitar Solo :  Dave Cleveland @Band_in_a_Box

[LYRICS]
The memory of you emerges from the night around me
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea

In you the wars and the flights accumulated
From you the wings of the song birds rose

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
Beyond desire I walked on

You swallowed everything, like distance
Like the sea, like time,  in you everything sank
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded,
In you everything sank

The happy hour of assault and the kiss
and spell that blazed like a lighthouse
I raise my song to you

I don't know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank
This was my destiny and in it was the voyage of my longing,
In you everything sank

.... Solo break....

You swallowed everything, like distance
Like the sea, like time,  in you everything sank
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded,
In you everything sank

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank
This was my destiny and in it was the voyage of my longing,
In you everything sank
Ah haaaa

In You (Everything Sank)

A singer-songwriter who cannot read notes, doesn't play much instruments except a little keyboard & guitar and considers singing as the most difficult part for him.

So in case you're wondering how a guy like this would sound, just spare some of your time for a listen.
Thanks so much for stopping by.

Comments

Heliopolis 5

🎸JIM🎙

Chris Scheri

Chris Scheri

Alba

John Palmer

Chihiro MATSUMOTO(JETTT)

Spencer Trowbridge

Richard John

thommo 🎧

Comments

Heliopolis 5

🎸JIM🎙

Chris Scheri

Chris Scheri

Alba

John Palmer

Chihiro MATSUMOTO(JETTT)

Spencer Trowbridge

Richard John

*thommo* 🎧

thommo 🎧