King Mewtwo as Gordan Ramsey
Mancha as Jon Taffer
Written by Jenni No MRC
Mixed by Raichous
Thumbnail by Trakked
Beat By Audio Network
GR: Here's a stress test that you're probably not ready for
The Ugly American stepping up to a British Force
Hot rhymes in a kitchen might be a bit cliche
But you'd feel more at home at a shit buffet
This G ain't a laugher, Taffer. Get ready to draw!
For the first time Gordon’s gonna serve something raw!
It’s appalling that this fat cat’s gathered up a following
From taking my best shows and sprinkling alcoholics in!
Bollocks! The bloated walrus ain’t a real contender!
Dressed less for a bar, more for managing Brock Lesnar!
Not much of a defense, ya dense donut with no life
Separate ya from this battle! Call it your first wife!


JT: 30 years in the biz, but this is mental
They glued Ellen’s hair to an angry Ken Doll!
The end all culinary ass is the big star?
You know what? I’m going in! Let me show you some real bars!
Wanna call me a ripoff? Don't wanna hear it!
Who needs liquid Courage? Ramsey's got no Spirit
I’m stunning, coordinating, motivating, ass kicking
Last minute fixer upper, creating the Sunday ticket!
You’re a, spitfire. But I, spit fire!
Treat this battle like your soccer career, and just retire!
The Michilian Star man’s still digging for more clout
Keep this shit up, and I. Will. Walk. Out!

GR: My god! And I thought the Nightmares were in the Kitchen
But the real Hell is hearing the wannabe boss bitchin’
It’s ridiculous, you’re acting like the Bar Biz Hero
But you own as many bars as good disses: Zero!
While everyday I make bank! This donkey can’t harm me!
Got this battle on wrap: Like a Bouquet Garni!
And what I find alarming, you claim to be a guru
But you call in “experts” to do training for you!
Rubbish! Gone! Bland! Rancid!
Rotten! Tossed! Canned! Flaccid!
Your chances of winning, long gone like some lamb sauce!
Now do us both a favor, big boy. Fuck off!

JT: Oh wow! Big shock! The Brit’s getting pissed!
Used to serving up dishes, but ya can’t serve a diss!
I’ve dealt with deadlier shots at the Alibi!
This Investor’s Hungry, but you’re the small fry
I can rock the Vegas strip
You’ll rock the boat over bacon bits!
You say you’re not for the fame and shit, 
But that breath is being wasted.
For aimless tasteless cable Brit.
Face it, kid! You’re Shameless!
Not a free man, Gordon. You’re seeing stars
‘Cause even I couldn't Rescue your Bars….

Gordon Ramsey Vs. Jon Taffer Rap Battle

Jeffree Star Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Tom Savini Voiced By Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie
Beat Prod. by Frankie Vibes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbTwBZMMI

Jeffree:
I’m sorry, but why do you wanna face this?
Looking like Ted White after a Jason face lift!
Gotta be a prank. Did the Dobres tape this?
Call you a powder foundation, ya basic!
Now I’ve been used to drama, but this has-been as my rival kinda lowers the bar
I’m fuck-proof on the mic, we’re worlds apart, Hitting you so hard, call me Jeffree WorldStar!
I’ll shatter through that haphazard slash man
A fashion disaster, with a flasher ‘stache, damn!
You career’s gone stagnant, The computer’s your replacement
Only fans are the pale nerds locked in their basements!
This Maniac thinks his blood fests are some hot shit
Boils down to gore porn made by a misogynist!
I’ve been told I was prodigy, a god to be, it’s odd to me
To see the Godfather of Gore is trying offing me!
Face it Tommy Boy! You looking Tubby, boy!
Maybe use your make up magic on that tummy, boy!
One watch of your “Wet Dreams” makes me sick!
Of course you like fencing. You’re just a little prick!
Now you get your chance, old man! Don’t have a heart attack grabbing the mic!
Although that would be a fitting end, to “Screaming Mad” George Lite

Tom:
(Heh) Thank god you stopped, think my hearing went dead
That rap made me envy my fake rubber head
Your damn squeaky voice is a spike to the brain
No wonder your music career’s in the drain
Sorry, princess. You’re shilling it, I make my Blood Money from spilling it
So you can try to make me seem villainous. Of course the Sultan of Splatter is killing it!
You’re used to cheap bars, it’s where you got your start in!
I cut my teeth, cutting wrists in Martin!
In that Hollywood circle, your boy was putting in work
You really wanna measure with your Youtube circle jerk?
I know documentaries, got two about Jason
That Shane Daws shlock was just bad product placement!
You only got lies spilling out your painted kisser
But your silver tongue couldn’t protect you from the sisters!
Cashing in on Controversy, it seems like a crapshoot!
So try to run the track. You can’t handle a tracksuit!
Think it’s time for the living Bratz doll to behave
You can watch me Sundance on top of your channel’s grave!
Hope you’re ready to burn out Jeff, ‘cause that’s all that Stars do
I’m spitting, committed to splitting you. You won’t be around for part 2!

Jeffree:
Watch it hun! I’m an internet icon, this bygone is nothing!
You really can’t throw shade at the shine coming off my Diamond button!
Got millions of followers, your demographic is teeny!
With the way you treat female fans, the real “Creepshow”’s Savini!
Enough Smoke and Mirror, your whole life is bomb
This fake vet was only shooting pics in Vietnam 
Everything you do misfires, it seems to be your lot
Maybe you could ask your daughter how to shoot a better shot

Tom:
Again you go for the cheapest hits, the easy shit, you freaking ditz!
This racist kid, and tasteless twit. Your talents being wasted, bitch!
Wanna question my honor? Your love life is a goner
Only fit in at my school as a model for the monster!
Keep calling me old? Well you’re goddamn right!
Was making movies violent when you were back at Prom Night!
Film is a magical medium, but even I couldn’t make your bars stand out
With that crap performance, even your fans are thinking….What Now?

Jeffree Star Vs. Tom Savini(Prod. by Frankie vibes)

Jenni No Mercy as Ed
RaccoonBroVA As Sheen

Beat by Tristan
Written by Jenni No Mercy
Mixed by Raichous
Thumbnail by Tony Rigatoni
Additional Help By Raichous 


SHEEN
You wanna face the Sheen-ster? Well he can be quite mean, sir!
With disses that hit harder than both Kevin and your sister!
I’m stopping world destruction, you can’t find cash for sugar
I wouldn’t even pick you if you were the last booger!
You wanna step up, chump? I got the Eye of the Tiger!
Don’t need the Candy Maker for me to spit fire!
Because Estévez gets the best of this!
You’d need your elevator to get your bars higher!
Hated by your whole town, every scam causing drama
So Lumpy, lame and soft, Carl thought you were a llama!


ED
I’m up against the best dummy from Nicktoons? Fantastic!
It’s great to finally meet the gu- Oh wait, you’re not Patrick!
I am the Ed-est of the Eds! Face Monobrow? You’re dead, man.
Your jokes remind me of Double D: Boring and dead pan!
Ed is a monster, you’re just a castaway
Without your luck? You wouldn’t last a day.
Gave you a spinoff, left fans of the past ashamed
Act like you’re Jimmy ‘cause You Gotta Blast away!
Run back scared to Retroville! The Ed boy gives a lickin’
But I'll still have a soft spot for you: I love CHICKENS!

SHEEN

That's the best you got? That backfired like Eddy wrote it!
You must’ve swallowed a jawbreaker, Ed, because you’re choking!
I thought Dimsdale was 2D, but nothing compares to the Cul-de-sac
Your friends wanna take a page from Plank: their personalities are flat!
For all the girls you loved before? You never had a chance with them
Meanwhile I’d risk my life for Libby, and still make time to dance with them
The Big Picture is, your show blows! You couldn’t be more dreary!
You winning this fight is just as likely as The Purgatory Theory!


ED
Do not taunt the Claw! I’ll beat you in a jiffy!
Can I break tracks like I break houses? You bet your sweet bippy!
I just wanna be everyone’s chum, but your voice I just can’t stand
You’re less of an Ultra-lord and more of a Junk Man!
With Chunky bars, I’m Puffed up! Winning is a piece of cake! 
I’m rising high above you: 5’9” give or take!
Don’t need a pebble in my shoe for my raps to get crazy!
I’m done with this no neck chump. I got the gravy!

Ed Vs. Sheen(Prod. By Tristan)

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20High%20Stakes.mp3
Written By: Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Raichous as Shaggy
RaccoonBroVA As Brock
Additional Help By Raichous


Shaggy:

Scoob! Go grab the snacks! Like, this’ll be fast!
When Shaggy is starting a rap, Like, you’ll lose to him faster than Ash!
I’ve gone against werewolves, and zombies, and ghosts! Like, I’ll leave a tagalong pounded
I find it ironic, your ace was an Onix, but you’re the one that’s getting Ground-ed!
You claim you have rock hard defenses, but don't have the stones to offend
Gave your last badge to a kid who cheated you in a fight when he was ten
And how did your story end? Replaced by a cilantro copy
With your chances of landing the cop or the nurse, in the nicest of  terms, being “Rocky”
While my series ain’t stopping. Like, I paved the way in animation!
The only thing your show’s leading in, is kid’s hospitalization
Over the years, portrayals were racey. Maybe I should be battling Tracy
You’ll need more than pebbles to faze me. There’s no dodging when you face me!

Brock:

Sorry Shaggy, but your tactics really had no effect
As a gym leader, I’m in charge of putting newbies in check
Think that you’re tough? Stop lying, man. You spend the whole mystery crying, man
So if flooding with flow’s your entire plan? Too bad I’ll be safe with my drying pan!
The OG rolling from Kanto! Your solo shows never finish.
If only you could Get a Clue. Your fanbase has quickly diminished.
You’re running from rubber masks. I throw myself into danger
I met with Dittos and mimes, but Denver’s clone’s still stranger!
And I bide my time, you’re rushing for cover to hide
Try as you might, you’ll end up greener than Hyde!
Can’t burn me, I’ve got Guts. I’m taking every attack
Think that you’ll earn my badge? You’ll have to be Boulder than that

Shaggy:

Your raps are ghost types, man. Completely see through
The way this Creeper acts, man, he’s on the verge of a “me too!”
So take defeat dude! Your traveling partners don’t need you!
Especially when it would take only like one percent of my power to beat you!
The sleuthing student moving though straight from the 60s
This dumb fiend may be 15, but ends up looking 50!
So try and hit, your disses miss me, listen to my voice
Like, I’m so amazing, I could beat you with one Zoinks!

Brock:

Your spitting is weak, no surprise though. I could beat this freak with my eyes closed.
Your WB’s Super High joke. I’m Bulldozing you with these tight flows!
His peers and his parents can’t stand him. Constant emotional damages.
I’m helping conquer gods while Rogers is conquering sandwiches!
You gluttonous Munchlax, you’d chomp through anything to get your fill
I studied Pokemon medicine, I’m an expert at things that are ill
From Lillard to West, your films are a mess, so testing me is a poor play
Hide behind the Blue Falcon, 'cause rapping isn't your Forte

Shaggy Vs. Brock

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBndlkZgME

Holt Voiced By JordoMIB
Swanson Voiced By Matt Raichous
Peralta Voiced By Stark Media
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie

Holt:

Peralta! Who’s this hairy woodsman in my office?
That pine smell is noxious! He looks so obnoxious!

Jake:

Umm, sir? It’s a rap battle. You’re fighting with disses?

Holt:

Ridiculous! He should know a Captain’s shot never misses!

Ron:

I don’t like you, but I respect the effort
Maybe you should sit this out, don’t think you really wanna get hurt
I’m an expert as a wrecker, or protector, you’ll be busted.
And I hope you’re ready for some Really Good verse Construction

Holt:

I’m the leader of a team, cleaning the streets with precision
While this pigeon isn’t a smidge interested in decisions!
So just listen, all initiative you get goes to waste
So put down the sax, Duke. Silver’s always second place!
Just face it, I’m the greatest in the B99
You’re complacent,  work and laziness walking a fine line
Built up a sense of greatness, but you winning only relates
When you’re ripping through dozens of eggs, like it’s practice for Ann’s place!
And honestly? You’re trying too hard to be anonymous
You’re not some big shot hero: You’re just a common bitch!
No chance that Raymond’s bombing this, I’m obviously better
If I wanted to deal with an old dog, I’d call Cheddar!

Ron:

They gave your cop comedy a spot, but it was wasted
It’s like Mike took his best show and copied and pasted!
Got the lovable dumb lead, the overachieving partner
Sassy and badass women, and the losers, just for starters!
When it comes to spitting harder, I’m blunt with no jokes
Think of this as betting on the ponies, Raymond, ‘cause you’re going broke.
Holt is starting to choke, Velvet Thunder’s a Wet Blanket
Only time you run a track is with your childhood train set

Holt:

Crushing the competition. Is this Jimmie Jabby too?
Try accusing me of cheating, but I’m not Tammy 2!
Not too shabby of a poet, I’m a master with my tone
If you try to spit another verse, you’ll end up BOOOONED

Ron:

Those raps dragged on like your time in uniform did.
I’m so iconic, my stache is always era appropriate
The key to dealing with your bars, is just not listening
To flow so robotic, Twitter thinks a bot’s dissing me
In competition Ron is a General like his namesake
The only time you tried solving a case is when you played Jake!
I’m calling you the Government, you’re crazy and useless
Get your doctor hubby to take a look at your bruises

Raymond Holt Vs. Ron Swanson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

So, as my way of saying thankyou for all the views and support, I decided to post a second battle this month! A battle about family. And love. And......kicking ass? I don't know. Either way, thank you for everything that you've done. You guys make this possible.


Hank Voiced By Raichous
Red Voiced By Raichous
Thumbnail By SPM1000

BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzu_95-l6DY


Red:(Spoken) My foot is about to write a rap for your ass

Red: The US vet against redneck Ted Cruz
With the can-do of the Red White and Blue, I can’t lose
Maybe get Boomhauser to help ya spit fast
You sell grill fuel because you’re full of hot gas!
Now I won’t sugar coat how I feel about Bobby
The way you raise your son, he’ll turn out to be a commie!
Your animation’s sloppy, you can’t draw out a diss
Judging by your rifle skills, all your shots are gonna miss
I was pulling in laughs, as the grumpy pop
You dragged behind Macfarlene then Fox let you drop!
But I’ll give you a shot, even though I’ll still beat ya
Chance of you winning is as narrow as your urethra
Your problems with Cotton? They're clearly in view
But this is not the first time a Dad’s had issues with you!
You must be on “fish bait” if you think you’ll last
So let’s see you try and rap back, dumbass!

Hank:

God dammit Bobby! What is that racket?
I’m not really thinking Egghead is gonna crack it.
Attacking the mack daddy from Heimlich? Insane!
I’m an expert at ass-kicking. Call that pro pain
Judging how I’m gonna raise my kid ain’t smart
Your boy’s gonna grow up with Venom in his heart
You’re a tasteless racist caricature with a complex
Looks like the Navy man swabbed off his “Top Deck”
You wanna lay a hand on your son? You’re a coward
Having to bully teens just to feel a little power
Anybody coming to you for tips must be crazy.
Maybe you should take advice on how to treat your lady!
What amazes me, despite how you love competing
The cast from your reboot has a better chance at beating me!
You call yourself a man? Can’t fool me in a fight
Red needs to get checked, that boy ain’t right

Red:

Saying I’m not right? Don’t make me laugh!
I’ll give you an adult sized boot in the ass!
This sheepish weak fisted wimp ain’t raw
When the only reaction he has is “Bwaah”!
Still can’t poop? Because you’re so full of crap
So dull on the track, you need your grill for hot raps!
Try to fix your verse, but it’s all in vain
You dropped the ball even harder than your wife off a plane!

Hank:

I think Dale would’ve made more sense with rhymes
You must've sat in  "The Circle" ‘fore spitting a line!
You never really think before going off with hasty words.
Red’s such a dog, he should face Ladybird!
And try to talk shop about my kin? Just can it.
You’re picking favorites in the family dynamic!
I’ve had it with this asshole, you need to shut up.
Did the King of the Hill keep his crown? Yup.

Red Forman Vs. Hank Hill - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

So! A little background on this one. This battle was written in 24 hours a looooong time ago. A buddy was stressing out about it and needed it done. So, because I have no life, I decided to...write. And kept writing. And kept writing until the sun was coming up and I had it finished. Unfortunately, it ended up getting scrapped. So when I made this series, I wanted the work to be used. So I rewrote some parts, asked for permission from my buddy and I made it happen! So I hope enjoy! Happy Holidays!

King Mewtwo as James Bond
AdamDRB as Ethan Hunt 

Beat by 2Deep
Written by Jenni No Mercy
Mixed by Matt Raichous
Thumbnail by Matt Raichous
Additional Help by Matt Raichous


JAMES
No Time To Die, I got a cocky punk to silence
A Golden Gun with kills, looks like you still need a license
It’s Mission: Impossible, when Bond is spitting fire
My words will leave you choked up in your little ceiling wire
Your shelf life expired, I’m an icon spanning decades
 Making ladies swoon with a sharper tongue than Krieger’s blades
And the fact your crews keep dying you should really understand
I'm a terminator, you're more of a Running Man
Choose to accept it or not, you’re still a sad sob
A cheap spy, that’s weak tries to sweep by like Odd Job 
The only thing remembered from your films is the theme song
Who’s the guy to kick your ass? Bond, James Bond

ETHAN
They put a rehash against the Action sensation?
Big Head Mode should take his ego right out the equation!
You got twenty five films? I don’t think anyone asked
You change your faces more than I have with latex masks!
If I wanted a charmless hack, I’d give Benji a call
This has-been is being shot down, call that your Skyfall
Blowing harder than a flute gun, let’s see how long we last
When your movies put me to sleep more than any knockout gas
You forgot the whole “Spy” thing, and it really is a pity
Saving The World’s Not Enough, you need to blow up half the city!
Get the message yet? I’m like Tomorrow. I Never Die!
Serve you with chips, send ya back to Fleming battered and fried!

JAMES
Claiming I’m a has-been? That’s positively shocking
Check the box office, my pens are the only thing bombing
This reboot of the 60s will need more for scaring me
You can't compare to me, you're a parody of my parody
Even with climbing gloves, you’ll never be above me
I’ll add your ex wife to the list of Spies who Loved Me
Facing me is one mission you won’t be coming back from
This blew up in your face, like your bars were made of gum

ETHAN
You’re so much of a Spectre, this fight’s a Ghost Protocol!
I’m in awe and appalled. You’re treating women like dolls!
Piercing everybodies eardrums, your rhyme scheme is a Con-nery
What’s a BB gonna do when I’ve got a whole armory?
You’re all smoke, no fire, I don’t need any advice
When James Bond is a name that’s taken so many lives!
You Only Live Twice, Bond, you got more than you’re allowed
The man On Her Majesty’s Service, has just been disavowed

James Bond Vs. Ethan Hunt - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Evel Voiced By AlaskanSam
Johnny Voiced By AdamSandler2DRB
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie


Beat: https://content2.audionetwork.com/Preview/tracks/mp3/v5res/ANW2442/05.mp3

Knievel:

Better step back from this American Badass!
Smashing through the idiotic slack jawed jackass!
You’re lacking in grit, your shows are laughable action
So why you wearing shades in the shadow you’re backed in?!
A master, standing even when I crash and burn
Taking on the hardest challenges humanity’s heard
The Last Great Gladiator, but i find it absurd
That it paved the way to you skating in buffalo herds!
And what I’ve learned is failure isn’t falling
But I wouldn’t call it “winning” with the damage to your balls, kid!
Appalling that MTV would pick your pilot
So don’t try being an MC. Just stay quiet!

Johnny:

I’m Johnny Knoxville. I fucking rock ill
Your face looks like something out of my lost films!
You think you’re Half Magic, and you got a calling for it?
Don’t treat me like your Palace jump: I’m not falling for it!
Let’s see you stand tall against a movie star
The real Ringer behind the wheel of the Duke car!
It’s too far with that starred and striped suit
Beat you so black and blue, Hoffman will make a second tribute!
So yeah, I let loose. You’re freaking uptight
The most preachy mother fucker at the damned jump site!(All right!)
So don’t let the battle get to your head
Unless you plan on having your son do the fighting instead
You retired so many times, tried to stay in the dark
But it didn’t save Tom from you jumping the shark.

Knievel:

You really wanna go talk smack about the leather?
You look like you’ve gone and rummaged Goodwill for sweaters!

Johnny:

Well you claimed your thick skinned, so I wouldn’t have guess
The way you’d try starting beef with fucking Kayne West!



So face the music, you’ll lose it like your insurance!
With no sappy end speeches you think gives reassurance!
Your relevance faded fast like your last November
My style never dies. Jackass Forever!

Knievel:

I carved my mark in history with a tire skid
You need Spongebob to stay out of retirement
Fart jokes and arm broke with no purpose
Except to be the biggest clowns in the Nitro circus
You’re worthless, career has gone to waste
With the whole world wishing you took Ryan Dunn’s place

Evel Knievel Vs. Johnny Knoxville Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Sheldon Voiced By Matt Raichous
Spencer Voiced By  RaccoonBroVA
Thumbnail By Oofie
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Additional Help By Cri and Anthony Rigatanthoni


BEAT: Old School Slim Shady Type Beat / Weird Funny Hip Hop Rap Beat "Kiss My Ass" Prod. ILL Fortune





Sheldon:

Leonard! Did you call the FBI?
Looks like Quantico sent the OCD P.I.
I would be impressed by your skills on the street
But they won’t help you find how I kill the beat(Bazinga)
I got lyrical theory, scientifically I’m superior
Check the Emmys I got, your show is just inferior
You were growing up delirious, a schizophrenic time bomb
Show was such a bygone, it’s being preached by my mom
You use science as a gimmick
For the magic that you use to fail to pick up women
And It should be a given, getting the fans adoring
But somehow you can make chasing criminals boring
You think I’m jealous, you captured tons of felons?
While I’m still here pulling crowds as Young Sheldon
But I should probably tell him in this match, I got this
My raps are so addicting, you can call them dilaudid.

Spencer:

Hotch? Rossi? This doesn’t seem right.
The MO of our guy says he doesn’t like to fight
But he’s actually here. Trying to get me riled
You wanna play games? Let’s start the profile
A wordy nerd pushing up into his 30s
Ego makes him think he’s worthy, but in truth he’s undeserving
Of a flurry of appraisal his fans just overused
Like the laugh track you abuse to tell them they’re amused!
For us geeks, friends are hard to find.
Which is why it’s baffling you insult yours all the time
I was tortured and shot, needing a cane to walk
But that wasn’t as painful as listening to you talk
Thinking you’re the Apex human is confusing
I drop bombs like Garner, you got twice his delusions!
I push passed my fears, you run away when you’re frightened
You’re Friends with Flags? Time to throw up the white one

Sheldon:

Sorry Reid, I’m disproving your theory
Think you make an impact, let’s look back at our series
(Heh heh) In less time I was made into an icon
Comedy even tighter than the sweater vests you try on
Tried proving your tough, but not effective
When your whole crew treats you like the junior detective
You strive to find happiness just to watch it all end
Left a hole in your heart and your dead girlfriend

Spencer:

You can claim that my life is a tragedy
But really if you ask me, the only thing that’s sad to see
Is you actually convince some lonely girl to marry you
Surprised you didn’t flee, Smarter guys are always scaring you!
And you’ll need more than catchphrases to faze me
It’s crazy they let your show’s writing be lazy
So as you fame fades, there’s no point in faking it
This win isn’t your spot, ‘cause I’m the one taking it

Sheldon Cooper Vs. Spencer Reid - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Joe Voiced by Skitzy
Coyote Voiced by Tommy Salommy
Written by Jenni no Mercy
Mixed by Matt Raichous
Thumbnail by TheDangerStranger
Additional help by Skitzy

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhnRXkyXucA

Joe:

The first thing is, I’m not cutting you slack
I’m the Big Cat, getting Exotic on the track!
Dealt with giant tigers and I’m here to compete
Against the guy who got famous shoving limbs into croc teeth!
But talk is cheap, your channel’s time drew out.
Try measuring up, let’s check the view count.
14 million subs, you seem hard to beat
But Tiger King’s got 64 mil in their seats!
Was rocking the boat ‘fore Netflix was showing!
You got the Net fixing you up with Jeff and Conon!
My rhymes keep owning, you better just can it.
This’ll be as short-lived as you on Animal Planet!
Your fans flatter with patter but as a matter of fact
Your channel only attracts with those animal attacks!
Before you overreact, maybe hide in a Zoom call!
Your backers would love to watch a self hurting dude fall!

Coyote:

I’m Coyote Peterson, entering the strike zone
Wiley, throwing verbal stones in the fight zone
Might think I’m nervous, facing such an ugly thing
But despite urban myths, his bars don’t actually sting
I love nature, got the passion for the animals
With the way you treat the cats? I’d smack you in the mandible!
Barely understandable, no handle on your accent
Need a dating show to give your love life a last chance!
You’re on the fast track to straight being forgotten
With a personality like your tiger feed: rotten
Taught millions about the flora and fauna of every climate
Conquered the Cow Killer, I can crush a Tiger Tyrant!
Spitting venomous bars, like a black-necked cobra
You throw a hissy fit, like the pits in Manitoba!
Your mullet’s not your only thing that needs to be clipped
You want some deadly shots? Ask your hubby for tips

Joe:

Bringing up Travis? Now you've gone too far!
This battle wouldn’t make a footnote in my Memoir!
Leave ya like your namesake: defeated and flattened
When I commit verbal murder: Call me Carol Baskin!
Channel is just a has-been! Peterson can’t mask it!
Maybe get a dung beetle to carry your fucking casket!
Tired of this racket. Kiss my ass, bastard!
Got beef? I’ll give ya to the tigers in my backyard.

Coyote:

Still attacking me? Joey keeps on forgetting
Coyotes fight back when they’re cornered or threatened!
Sean Evans gave me hotter burns with a wing sauce
This is just another face off the Tiger King lost!
Now, mole rats are blind, but even they could tell
The only bars you’re packing are lining your prison cell!
This fight is over, Joe. I’ve tamed your lame style.
To the viewers at home. Be brave! Stay Wild!

Joe Exotic Vs. Coyote Peterson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Link Voiced By Fight
Finn Voiced By RaccoonBroVA
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger


BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PzUdjzZ3Jg

Link: I’m the Hero of Time, I’m the Hero of Rhyme!
I’m the Hero of splitting a villain down to size!
You’re the Hero that’d be lucky to get to tier five
Step up into my temple, you’d barely get out alive!
Packing arrows, swords, shields and magic
You lack actual tactics, running head first into action
If it wasn’t for your friends, you’d have wound up in the afterlife
Years before HBO brought your series back to life!
Rejected by the slime channel when you went broke
Good thing Cartoon Network found you for your fart jokes
But they left you in the dark though, I’m betting that it hurt
Knowing that they replaced you with Steven Universe!
With a verse, I’m a master when I slay ill
Rock the Ocarina, you can’t even jingle sleigh bells!
Maybe you should hide behind your dog when you fight me
You’re not Marceline, but you can still bite me!

Finn:

I don’t need Jake to take you
Treat you like your clay pots. I’m about to break you!
The Land of Oo is chocked full of strange beings
But they can’t compare to the forest fairy in green!
You’ll need more that a harp to string up tight lines
Your insults were more confusing than your timeline!
Your Master Sword couldn’t compare. You can’t match this.
Why’re you even rapping? You’re a silent protagonist!
Shmow-zow! I’m getting mathematical!
You couldn’t stay attached to a design with your grapple hook!
A legend for the people, from the candy to the elders
While the only Legend in your series is named Zelda
You’ll need more than Doritos to take me down
If you had more Wisdom, you’d walk away from this bout
I’m a fan of Adventure, and I hope you don’t mind
What time is it? It’s “Lose To Finn” time!

Link:

Nice try, but I’m a expert shot
You’re more annoying that a sentry bot
So just quit the talk, your show’s a pain to watch
With lazy humor and basic plots!
Your attempts at love were just wastes
Your taste for Bubblegum blew up in your face
The biggest simp in Oo, no matter what the situation is
The marriage to your pillow was your healthiest relationship

Finn:

Call me a simp? I least I know when to quit
Your whole bloodline was cursed to redo the same bit
Pig wizard breaks free, then steals the magic maiden
Peter Pan gathers weapons and rushes forward to save ‘em!
You’re as flat as a Game Boy sprite
You’re in too deep. This ain’t a Smash Bros fight
Too late to reset. Time to face the light.
You need more the hearts to fill your wasted life

Link vs Finn - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

So....Happy Twos-day! I was originally not going to do a battle but this battle has been finished for over 6 months! I was feeling awful to both of the amazing voice actors for putting amazing work and it taking so long to come out. The thumbnail was the hardest part ironically, due to....well look that that Predator hand! Either way, I hope you enjoy. Why don't you have a seat, and enjoy the battle? DO IT NOW!


Chris Hansen Voiced By Swizkii
The Predator Voiced By MetaMachine

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD_BOnX_Iak

Predator:

Ripping through tracks like a spinal cord
Make a bloody corpse your final form
Turn your eye sore face removable
So get a Dateline-d up for your funeral!
No better competitor with bloodshed! I’m The Predator!
You only look good when saved by the editor!
You better get running. I’m a hunter by trade!
It’s hard to report on pedos from beyond the grave!
But even with my tech, I still find it shocking
How you learned to use old clout to line your pockets
Packing a shoulder cannon and I’m handling business!
Kiss this battle goodbye. Like your job and your mistress!
While you mutter in a live stream, feeling like a star
I steal the show like a pirate: Rated R!
Try to run with my pack, but you aren’t worthy.
Destroy your image worse than a dead attorney!

Chris:

Been in TV for years and I’m no sucker.
But I’ve never seen such an ugly Mother Fucker!
Chris’s got more drip than your bags of meat
So do us both a favor and Have a seat.
Your pop culture boast really does seem legit
With one good flick...and that’s it.
The NBC MC with the Emmys
You might be rated R but those bars were PG
I’m a hotshot, covering slaughter and debauchery 
Your box office was shot! You’re a Predator of Profiting!
My special's had an effect. You’re just special effects!
Who’s the real prehistoric monster? Hanson rex (Wrecks)
A 20 year gap, one sequel in the backlogs
And that bombed once a Xenomorph was in the chat logs!
The Cranky Kermit couldn’t tongue click out a rhyme
 You wanna save yourself the trouble? You can leave anytime.

Predator:

I eat bullets like nothing! Think Hansen hits harder?
You’re more of a let down than your Kickstarter!
The Yautja has honor. Your show's poor taste!
Learn to avoid me. Pretend I'm your court date!
I’d rip out your skull but it would be a waste.
There’s no space for your ego in my trophy case!
Scraping by with Fivrr. The fans are long gone, man!
You should look into the mirror if you wanna Catch a Con Man!
I’m murderous! There’s not a chopper that can save you!
So stupid, you let a guy like Vincent play you!
What are you waiting for? Do it now! Just flee
You’d have a better chance with GG as the MC.

Chris:

Here’s a guy, who acts real smart.
But is jumped by Arnie making Mud Splatter Art
With the high tech crap, it’s no wonder you’re a hack
Let your franchise down even worse than Shane Black
The fact is you’re a product of the 80s.
When 10 minutes of shooting isn’t seen as lazy!
It’s crazy! You carry plasma guns and Smart Disks.
But the most sacred weapon to the Yautja is a sharp stick?
You act tough, but pussy out when you confront death
Ask Onision. I take the battles to your front step!
As the investigation closes, got nothing to prove.
So blow yourself up, like every time you lose

Chris Hansen Vs. The Predator - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Penn Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Jay Voiced By RaccoonBro
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger
Additional Help By Skitzy, Cri, Pixel Chris

Beat: [FREE] SKI MASK THE SLUMP GOD TYPE BEAT "SAX" (prod. ESKRY)


Penn:

Ladies and Gentlemen! We really hope you’re settled in!
We’re Penn and Teller, and we’re ready for battling
Against a couple slackers lacking in the brain matter
Not windows, but we’ll leave a couple pains shattered
We got jokes, and magic packed with emotion
The only talent you two got is blowing smoke, kid
So you’ll be left choking on your home grown clouds
Tried the reboot craze just to scrape up clout!
You’re the View Askewniverse’s worst!
Think saying mother fucker over and over’s a verse
Your fans might say that Dogma really was a big deal
Too bad Weinstein has his thumbprint on the film reel!
And your attempts with the ladies was crazy
Law breaker wanted Justice and fatty was Chasing Amy
So let’s see if the budget Bill and Ted can really spit
But you’re all smoke and mirrors, and frankly it’s Bullshit

Jay:

Hey Bob, looks like we’re battling hypocrites
Weird hearing fat jokes coming from Mister Bitch Tits
You’d better quit this. We keep it blunt on tracks
You think you shits can spit? Well now we’re gonna Strike Back!
It’s Jay and Bob, we’re obviously the dream team!
We even steal the screens with cameos back in Scream 3!
Believe me, we do find it ironic
That you’re getting smoked out by Bluntman and Chronic!
We’re the classic, the fact is you’re just has beens!
Careers burning faster than the ash from a hash pen!
And actually? What really looked worse? I can’t tell
Between your spots on the Apprentice or SNL!
Your stage presence? It’s evident that it’s dog shit
You're playing Harry Potter while we’re busy making profits!
You wanna top this? We’re just too much to handle!
Leave a couple farts cut up, like their names are Mark Hamill!

Penn:

We’re known to tell lies, but that verse was just wrong
We rip the rule book. You’re taking rips from bongs!
By the end of this song, we’ll sock you like a Cock Knocker!
Want girls but your attitudes are real cock blockers!
And no amount of your film’s show exposure
Could convince Kevin Smith to give your story real closure
Stand in front of the store more. You two are just clueless!
You gave it your all, but still, you didn’t fool us

Jay:

Mother fuck, your effort was just a bust!
With a verse drawn out even longer than Desert Bus!
There’s no taking on us. These geezers are too dated
Forget Shaq! We hang with Affleck and Damon!
And what’s crazy ‘bout you trying to be a vocalist
From socials to your shows, you’re just over blown socialists!
And now, we’re done owning this, we’re leaving you robbed.
You mother fucks got crushed. Love Jay and Silent Bob

Penn and Teller Vs. Jay and Silent Bob - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Dr. Horrible Voiced By Spidey Fam
Dr. Frankenfurter Voiced By King Mewtwo
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By Epic-ly Ironic
Additional Help By Skitzy and Matt Raichous

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20You%20A%20Clown.mp3

Dr. Horrible:

This appeared as a moral dilemma
Two docs battling to see who’s better
But whether it’s against Hammer or a creep
Horrible’s got a Phd at dropping beats
Now this weenie might think they’re the belle of the ball
Truth is they’re just a mix of Shelley and RuPaul
So I’ll watch a dude fall, it’s a Brand New Day
I’ll stop you in your tracks, like my raps are a freeze ray!
These days you’re still hung up on a break up
Until you get horny: We should call ya Dr. Strangelove
Choose to play god to help ya get to third base?
But science can’t help get your teeth back in your face!
I leave the city shaking when I’m aiming laser cannons
Your evil plans were doing drag shows with Brad and Janet
Forcing cannibalism? You’re a disgusting foe
But you in lingerie was the real Horror Picture Show

Dr. Frankenfurter:

Was that it? My god, darling. Your raps are a mockery
The only time you flow gold, is when you fail a robbery
You’re boring me, there’s no defense against this Creature of the Night
Got so many horrid words for me, but I’m just a sweet Transvestite!
Like lightning, I’ll shock ya when the beat hits
You’re only a big shot when in a dream sequence
Claim you’re smarter, but each one of your machines blow
So I’ll pick this beef apart like it’s Meatloaf!
You whining to the camera got fans in an odd way
But your mini series couldn’t step to me on Broadway!
Getting nailed by Hammer, your life is a laugh
You’re the biggest freak to try to serve me since Riff Raff!
Like a van dash, you’re about to crash
Try to rap back when I split your ass into three acts!
And sure you’ve got your League seat, but there’s no envy
Able to steal millions; but couldn’t save a Penny

Dr. Horrible:

Go ahead and laugh. Yeah I’m funny guy
But that smile gets wiped when ya find that you’re gonna die
Your servants rose up, talk about cliche
Your style’s more washed up than laundry day!
I’m the peak of villainy, there’s no way to top me
You’re so pathetic, could get a better foe from Rocky!
The nightmare is real, I’m a lyrical king!
But even when you lose, I won’t feel a thing

Dr. Frankenfurter:

Billy! Don’t be silly! You’re really not being rational
You only took over the world, when your crush got took out by shrapnel!
Let’s do the Time Warp and take a look at your conception
The result of no budget and a strike’s intervention!
And even though originality was your only intention
There’s a certain Doctor Steel that probably would want a mention
Tried to save face and win this race but sadly just took a beating
You’re an insect and a massive waste of time, space, and meaning

Dr. Horrible Vs Dr. Frankenfurter - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Andy Voiced By Matt Raichous
James Voiced By RaccoonBroVA
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By Matt Raichous



Beat: Lethal - Hard Dark Angry Trap Beat | Prod. By Dansonn Beats

Andy:

When it comes to reviews and reboots, this Psycho knows a lot.
I've witnessed previews and scenes, dude, threaded through boring plots
But the most drawn out of installment of any horror flop
Hasn't left me as cold as this guy's jokes and whole corny shlock!
Now, in ‘17, your little counting game had hit Youtube
And now you rely on Zoran and co for those extra views.
Can’t say I’m impressed by your resume. Your industry chops don’t mean shit to me!
Every word I say leaves you in Misery. While you would need triple the words just dissing me!
I fought with Jason, came face to face with a Myers’ knife
The biggest threats you’re facing are with those copyright strikes!
Leatherface must love James since he’s so bare-boned.
So treat your verse like your wedding and leave it postponed
And with these flows, I’ll leave you choked up as the plot thickens
The way you run from Thanks-killing 3, this turkey is more of a chicken!
No asylum can contain these insane flows when I’m spitting raw
Kill a beat so hard, you might as well give me that golden chainsaw!

James:

Hey there, it’s James A Janisse, and I’m here to say in the least
I’ve counted bodies, zombies and results of cannibal feasts
But I still can’t handle this geek, disgusting humor’s astounding
4 million subs still compounding! You have what, 50 thousand?
And I get bloody on tracks, it’s your Final Destination
So there’s no chance to attack the Youtube Horror sensation
DID jokes are what you’re based on, you’re a racist tasteless sleaze
And if you really want a face off, I would throw the nacho cheese!

Andy:

Andy? I’m scared. Hey don’t worry little buddy.
Yeah. Let me grab the mic. I can turn this battle bloody.
Don’t muddy up my intentions, I’m climbing the ranks to be your replacement
While you hide behind all of your editors, I’m working solo in my basement!
I’m roaring like Rex, my special effects give my videos magic
The fact that the fans stick around for you spouting numbers is honestly tragic
This has-been is getting the Boot. Gonna curbstomp your face to end ya.
I’ll see you in hell. And when you get there? Tell me Andy sent ya!




James:

Think I’m impressed? Your repetitive jokes are lazy and petty
Wanna spit sharp, but it seems you’re stuck wielding a dull Machete!
So just get ready, James is aiming to slay, you can’t recover
And I’m crushing you harder than a sequel to Last summer!
Your life is a bummer, your parents were glad to have leave you abandoned
But keeping their corpses? Now you’re just stealing from Norman’s canon
And live in fantasies of slaughtering your therapist
Forced to bandage up your face, since even YOU were too scared of it!
You’re claim to be unique but all he has going for him
Is another grumpy horror version of an Angry VGN
Fighting the villains? Seen it. Destroying the movies? Seen it.
But violating a pastry for laughs? We really didn’t wanna see it!
And I couldn’t imagine your shlock fest making an impact
Thinking your rep is intact? I’ll shatter you like a Mandy axe!
You describe yourself as a Maniac, so maybe take some advice
Retire from your tired shtick. It'd be the first time you did something nice.

James A. Janisse Vs. Andy The Maniacal Cinephile - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Happy 420 everyone! Light up a joint and have a listen to two of the funniest and deepest musicians to ever hit big time rap it out. This battle might be one others have done, but no one can do it like Jenni does~

Weird Al Voiced By Zawesome
Bo Voiced By WoodenHornets
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Creeper Pasta

BEAT: Accordion Freestyle Reggae - Hip Hop Instrumental - 2019


Bo:

Welcome to the internet, Weird Al
So place your bets, Weird Al. You’ll get wrecked, Weird Al
It’s the best of the next gen humor and mood
Against the dude who got big writing songs about food
Got the hottest shit, Netflix profiting
The only time your topping it, is with that sloppy wig
And let’s talk about your choice of attire
Prints so bright, I wish my Eyes were on Fire!
I’m a master with my Words, Words, Words
When I split an old turd into thirds, thirds, thirds!
And I’m predicting that you’ll slam me with your Grammys
But it couldn’t save you from the fact your fans are Boomer Grannies!
I may be younger but maybe take some advice
Rappers aren’t the guys to try when you’re looking for paradise!
People treat you like a genius but it’s all in your head
When we can use UHF to prove that Art is Dead!

Weird Al:

Put down that microphone and listen to me, Bo!
Cause guess What? It’s time for Al to put up a fight
You won’t have a easy time when you’re dissing me, Bo
Should make your special and just stay Inside
Since Demento, I’ve been rocking the squeeze box
You were falling down the Vine, with your whiny little tween talk
And sure you got tears flowing back in Eighth Grade
You only stir up emotions when we can’t see your face!
So stop the Word Crimes, you really need to man up
With those raps it’s the first time I’ve laughed at your stand up
You acting like these fake deep songs give you clout
With the listeners asking “What is this song all about?”!
Running With Scissors, of course I can cut a track
I rocked it as Wreck-Gar, but you’re the one talking trash
Your talent’s one act. I’m a master of variety
Probably stutter out your next verse: performance anxiety

Bo:

I thought I was hypocrite but you’re full of crap
This has been panders harder than Chipp McCapp
You’d need to parody my rap for you to have a chance to do this
I’m provoking real thoughts, you just Dare to be Stupid!
And with a bach in architects, I was expecting
You to build a better verse and flow for me to come and wreck it
Al’s Polka Face will crack when this master starts to hurt ‘em
Of course you were gonna lose. ‘Cause foes? Bo burns ‘em!

Weird Al:

More frantic banter with those ansty songs
Think you’ll win this but Everything You Know is Wrong!
So stay where you belong! You’re better behind the scenes, dude
Al’s got more talent than a jam packed Green Room!
But don’t panic! You’ll get beat by a classic
You’re so White and Nerdy, you’re my perfect demographic!
Battling Bo? I’ve had it! You couldn’t spit fire, kid.
So do us both a favor, and get back to retirement!

Weird Al Yankovich Vs. Bo Burnham - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Hi there!
So, today is my birthday and I decided to upload a match up that only I would want. I love schlock horror movies. I love Twisted Metal. So here's a schlock horror and Twisted Metal match up! A wish come true for me~

The Djinn Voiced By Freshy Kanal
Calypso Voiced By KingMewtwo
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By Matt Raichous


BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horNWCxKcYg



The Djinn:

In a time before time, I tortured souls for fun
So take notes from Needles Kane, and Run, insect. Run
Forget Barbara Eden and Will Smith. I’m not some genie to easily diss
So don't make a sound, don't make a move, and most of all...don't make me pissed!
A master of chaos, I’m pulling the world into darkness and slaughter
Despite what your causing, your most evil sin was the death of your daughter
While you turning whole cities to fodder, I command the powers that you borrowed
If your rotten comic was any to follow, the only thing William’s mastered is sorrow!
Your colorful car game crashed, smashed, your character turned into trash, fast
So despite Singletrak being past fads, they tried painting your series Black! (hack)
So before you try spitting back, maybe react to the fact you’re a bitch
Who lives in the Shadow of knowing his death was his daddy’s only wish


Calypso:

My Twisted Metal contest turned the City of Angel’s to rubble
All the city awashed with flames. So burning you is no trouble
I’m doubling up on the carnage with the High Octane I’m rocking on
I’m popping off, don’t need the nuke mobile for me to drop bombs!
You claim to be supreme, but still trapped in your jeweled prison
Think you’re a step ahead, but only free thanks to alcoholism!
While trying to rap is a given, facing me still seems quite obscene
Since I was twisting words years before you hit the big screen!
Tried getting appraisal from Alex, what a fallacy, she left you sobbing
The last time I saw a genie this blue balled, he was voiced by Robin!
Your quartet of films forgotten, tomatoes Rotten, out of luck
You’re so much of a clown, you should be driving the ice cream truck!

The Djinn:

Come now, you worm, you can think better things to diss
Or would you prefer I drag your soul to Hell to meet your sis!
Leave you dismissed like Sony, you’re just phony faux Loki
Oh if only, you’d have been lucky and they didn’t blow your chance at the movies



Calypso:

You demons are all the same, never realizing the cunning of man
I’ll have you under my control, just ask Black and Minion!
The battle draws to the close, This Djinn was burned by the devil
I am Calypso, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal!

Calypso Vs Wishmaster - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Jigsaw Voiced By Vladimyr P.
Macgyver Voiced By Toni Rigatoni
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Serena
Thumbnail By CreeperPasta

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWX7vYOAWUA



Jigsaw:

Hello Macgyver, the survivor, improviser
You’ll find you’ll need more than light wires in the cypher
While the timer ticks down to zero, I’ll let you try and play hero
But your passive tactics to actual threats won’t help to save you in here, though
Tried to be an American Badass, but alas your fame is fleeting
All I need is a Spiral to get people in line for my screenings
Leave you choked like your name was Cale, smothered with regretful defeat
My bars will grind your rotten corpse, leaving Angus as ground beef
My plans are elaborate masterpieces, your strats all rely on tape
Maybe if Mac could actually plan, his pals wouldn’t lie in early graves
Your pocket knife just wouldn’t suffice at stopping you from being destroyed
I’ll give you a chance, Macgyver. Rap or die. Make your choice

Macgyver:

Is that the best you got? God, this old man is a bore
First impressions are very important, but you’re choosing to waste yours
An angel of death or a raging sadist? You’re walking a fine line
Give me a clip and some duct tape, and I still couldn’t fix your timeline!
Keep a cool head when my foes show
Kidnap little girls? That’s a new low
You got a few fans, but on the downlow?
You haven’t been relevant since the third go!
But of course that wouldn't phase you.
You love your game so much, you let it play you!
Researching for the hearing impaired. I’m relentless
Your lesson fell on the deaf ears of your apprentice!
I’m the best, with search and rescue
Sharper than the Human blender, you’ll be crashing like your nephew!
Your death traps don’t scare me, your gore just shocks
But what has bigger holes, your wife’s face or your plots?

Jigsaw:

Very impressive, but I didn’t mention
How my intervention has a second lesson
While you travel the world deciding to play spy
The game of life was cutting deeper through your family ties
Too bad Daddy can’t tell ya to lose the mullet
You should learn from your childhood friend and bite the bullet
Can’t keep a girlfriend, your personality’s mild
But had the little recipe for how to abandon your child
Vile actions are embarrassing  really no comparison
You couldn’t bring fire to your lines if you had kerosene.
Hope you have an antidote, the way I spit so toxic
Causing you more pain than anything Murdoc did

Macgyver:

Glorified Muppet maker, death faker. Just shove it!
Pretty clear why Wan would cut the strings of this puppet!
Had about enough of it, so quit jerking me around
My raps aren’t pig guts but you’re still gonna drown
I take down members of H.I.T!
You can barely stay ahead of the N.Y.P.D!
So just take your defeat! You couldn’t sink any lower
No room for a twist. I win! Game Over!

Macgyver Vs Jigsaw - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

NOTE: This was supposed to be uploaded on the 12th, sticking with the pattern of every 12th and 24th of each month being the upload day. Unfortunately, I was suffering from major alcohol poisoning and was bed-ridden for 36 hours. My apologies. So enjoy!


Two-Face Voiced By Matt Raichous
Cruella Voiced By JesseBoxVO
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger

BEAT: Base De Rap - "JAZZ SAX" | Hip Hop Instrumental | BOOM BAP TYPE BEAT FREESTYLE | DAGA BEATMAKER


Two Face:

I’ll take a break from running Gotham’s underground
I’ve dealt with rodents, Kryptonians, even freaks and clowns
So I can go a round against The Disney Fur Fanatic
Crash you like your car chase when I blast you like an automatic!
I leave caskets  and tragedy in my wake
Your plots were more baked than you inside a cake!
Leave a skeleton shaking like she dosed with Crane’s toxins
Get Jasper and Horace to come and take your spot then
Call you the devil? The Radcliffes must be dummies
Your biggest criminal act was failing to steal puppies!
Head or tails, Cruella? Either way, you’re losing!
So many dogs, but you’re still the biggest bitch in the movies!

Cruella:

Oh, were you starting? Oh sorry Harvey.
You’ll need more to Dent Cruella, darling!
Check my coat, you know this woman’s balling
I’ve seen you try rocking purple. That was appalling.
The weakness member of the Bat’s Rouge Gallery
Forced to use a coin flip to choose your faux morality
Just check my salary, this fashion queen is making bank
You carry two guns, bitch, so why’d you only fire blanks?
Your canon’s full of heartache, life played you like poker
Then Schumacher took over and turned you into Joker!
But the real joke is you thinking you’ll win this battle
I’d rather hear Roger’s songs than your prattle!


Two Face:

That was it? You barely put up a fight.
But the difference between you and me is black and white
I’ve faced the Dark Knight, you failed against the dogs twice
You aren’t skating by when I put Disney broads On Ice!
You’ll hit the concrete, tails up like a bad flip
When I go crazy on you and treat you like an Arkham trip!
Can’t hide behind your reboot clout for cover
You’ll be eaten alive. I guess you are like your mother

Cruella:

The only Hyde I know is the one you're based on
I’ve seen you in a court-case, you can’t handle a face off!
An acid tongue attorney got the acid skin bath
Your girl couldn’t stand the fact your personality’s in halves!
And reboot disses? Mr 52’s a hypocrite!
No wonder you’re so negative, with Marvel making better flicks!
Two Face is getting bit. I won’t give you another turn
Your coin can’t help heal you from another burn.

Two-Face Vs. Cruella De Vil - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

R.J. MacReady Voiced By Skitzy
Ellen Ripley Voiced By K.C.
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichousz
Thumbnail By BDGR

BEAT: [FREE] (DARK) Sci-Fi Type Beat - "Unknown"

MacReady:

This is MacReady, it’s time to get serious
Is the cold getting to me? I must be delirious.
They chose the most basic badass to be my foe
But if you really wanna throw, I’ll leave a body in the snow
I keep a level head, an expert in a chopper
I spit so sick I should be checked out by Copper
You blew the doors open for the female lead
But the only bomb you’re packing now is Alien 3
I’ll roast foes, turn monsters into ashes
You just boring, more robotic than Ash is
So this is Game Over! I’m winning, no hitch
Before I give another drink to a cheating bitch

Ripley:

This is Ripley. Last from the Nostromo.
Word of warning, RJ. I’m a pro, though.
So I’ll be going through this hairy ape. You can’t best me
I’m not a blood drop, Mac, so don’t test me
The fact you actually survive is confusing.
Like how the viewers felt at the end of your movie
I was the blueprint for sci fi women stopping the slaughter
Your film is now a Guide to Being the Imposter!
Call me any name you want, your disses miss
You should avoid contact. Stay away from this bitch
Your ego’s so massive, but all your skills are passive
Hell even your blow up doll’s seen more action!

MacReady:

Mac’s ready for anything as wind blows
I’ll be leaving you burned, call you Windows!
The Arctic snow hurts  but the Thing that’s really killing me
Is the thought of having to sit through your quadrilogy!
Your Chest-bursting might have caused you pain
But didn’t hurt your heart as much as knowing Newt wasn’t saved
Cloning you was deranged! Just gives me more of you to run though
I blow the lid off of battles, so FUCK YOU!


Ripley:

I think you had too much J&B Scotch
You’ll get smoked like Palmer when Ripley’s on watch
This guy is all talk, murdered Clark and didn’t care
But all your friends would be alive if you listened to Blair!
In this battle, we won’t hear you survive
The Thing will have to use your corpse for a warm place to hide
Ripley’s winning, believe or not, so don’t you dare talk
Throw up the white flag as I toss you out the airlock!

Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Popular tracks