Flying through time and space,
Finally free to be immortal,
He was the king of men,
But he's been on a bad streak of luck since then,

I'll try to remember,
That story I heard,
I just hope I can sing it,
I wanna spread the word,

I guess they say it's best to start at the start,
Could be true, I don't know that part,
Or I do and it doesn't rhyme,
Maybe I'll make it next time,

For now i'll let you know what I know,
And when it's my time to go I'll go,
I got what I got,
And you'll hear what you're here for,

Ramses II or IV....? or III,
Was murdered while he slept,
But luckily they kept him,
And made him a mummy,

So he got to go,
To wherever-it-is although,
He did not prepare,
He had to ask for directions somewhere
along the way,

And the guy he asked,
Had a fantastic
sense of humor,
He sent him to LA,
And that would've been ok,

But my man was tired and he missed his wife,
He just wanted to get to the afterlife,
So he gave it up,
And crashed into the sea,

I got no clue,
How or why,
They kept him alive,
I guess something to do

With his mummified remains,
He could deal with the aches and the pains,

But he didn't expect
to wake up and be in,
For such a rude awakenin',
It seemed the whole city had it out for him,

You see, history had not been kind,
To Ancient Egypt, he would find,
And probably rightfully so,
They enslaved a ton of people, you know,

But those silly tombs were not on him,
He said he'd advocated against them,
Too many times to try to tell it all today
And anyway

The people his father forced,
To build those fucking pyramids, of course
They ran the city now,
And they meant to make him bow,

He couldn't leave, he had to stay,
So he learned to put his ego away,
And just listen,

Aaaand he learned a lot,
But maaaaaaan they really got to him,
Maaaaaaaan he really thought,
They would keep him there for eternity,

He wondered how long would it take,
To bust a wall so full of hate,
But as he wondered a plan crept into his mind,

Shortly after that he was on an airplane,
Flying over the Nile,
The view was insane,
He hadn't been home in a while,

And the job hed agreed to do,
Had gotten easier since whenever-thousand-2,
They just wanted him there for the optics,

As he watched those wonders fall,
He wished he could give his dad a call,
The afterlife, it just suddenly seemed so small,
And far away and pointless,

He'd been blessed,
With another life he guessed,
A chance to redeem the people of egypt,
For treating other people as objects,

So he put on a shirt and tie,
Even though he didn't really get the why,
He just knew if he kept wearing TP,
He might as well not even try
to make any friends,

He'd been friendless for far too long,
He'd got to so right from so so wrong,
And there's more to the story,
But I'll save it for the next song,

Godspeed, Youth

Crashed Mummy

If a wise man said
That you'd be better off dead
Would you just believe him?

If a real cool fool
Told you to shoot up a school
Would you think to disagree?

Take a minute and think for yourself
Just sit and think
Think about what it means to you
And everybody else

Just think for yourself
But do it sometime close to now
Or twisted forces paying cash
Will do it for you, only they know how

If you wrote a politician
And he wrote back that he was fishin
Would that surprise you?
Did you think that he or she would listen?

If another person you thought was good
Were doing things you didn't think he should
Would you still be dissapointed?
Or would you wait to see what msnbc said?

Just think yourself
Think about what it means for you
And everybody else

Think for yourself
but do it sometime close to now
or twisted forces paying cash
Will do it for you, like only they know how

Take a minute and think for yourself
Just sit and think
Think about what it means to you
And everybody else

Just think for yourself
But do it sometime close to now
Or twisted forces paying cash
Will do it for you, only they know how

Think for Yourself

I know you, youre sitting there
In your favorite chair
Eyes on some guys on TV
Thinking about me

Why do you even care
If i go to sleep?
I'll be there tomorrow anyway
No hours to keep

If you put as much time
Into yours as you did mine
You could be
Don't you want to be?

I know its not my place to say
I'm so sick of the games, i don't play
I just want to be
Ya, I wanna be

I try to write a song
All I see is you
It's a silly place to go
But at least I know

So please just do it as you please
You're always on your knees,
Ok, i like it that way
You know i do, just please today
I hope you

Put as much time
Into yours as you have mine
Please just want to be
Please just want to be

And I know its not my place to say
But I'm so sick of the games we play,
Just let us be
Let us be
I want to be

Wanna Be

I came across a man from the old country some time ago,
He had a ribbon in his hat,
And I loved him for that,
Yeah, you know...

Woa is him, 
He looked grim,
He looked tough,

Woa is he, I'd already had enough,
But he called, and I waited for him...

He said, "Hello, my friend, have you seen a blue locket?"
Said, "No."
He just held up one finger as he reached in his pocket, "Here you go!"

Woa is me,
I decree,
What a terrible joke,

Woa is he,
Cuz I was drunk, and on coke,
So I shot him...

When I saw him again, I'll admit I was a bit shaken,
He looked pale, not dead, 
And had a hole in his head,
But he'd awakened,

Woa is me, 
Not a man but a ghost,
It was he, 
Even though he was supposed to be dead,

Well I laced up my boots, and readied my mind for a fight,
I went for my weapon, but I wouldn't even need it that night,

Woa now, I wonder how he forgot,
Woa and then, 
He asked if he could borrow my pen, 
I think not...

Old Country Man

Oh why are you haunting me, ghost?
I tried to give you a chance,
But you're not supposed,
To be here anymore,

If there's something you want to say just say it,
But say it soon,
I'm telling you it's time to go, 
I'm not asking anymore,

I woke up with a plan today,
I called my priest, and he's on his way,
With a 10 gallon bucket of holy water,

So stop slamming my doors,
Quit creaking my floors,
I know this house was yours before,
But I bought it fair and square,
So you gotta go.. Oh,

And one little piece of advice tho,
Since you value your life so,
much it seams,
Stay the hell out of my wife's dreams,

She hasn't been sleeping much,
I checked all her searches and such,
She's been looking up what kinds of arrows,
Are most effective against the undead ,

I know you're probly laughin cuz an arrow or 2,
Doesnt scare you,
But I'm here to tell you it should,

I've seen that woman pull a bow from her purse, While we were playin cards,
And shoot a turkey dead from 250 yards,

It's not ideal for you, I know,
But there's far worse ways to go,
My wife would stuff you,
And hang you on the wall by the window,

Hey ghost, let me grab my pen,
I know youve been messing with my plants again,
And maaan I'm so tired of documentin all of your  nonsense,

So I woke up with a plan today,
I called my priest and he's on his way,
With a 10 gallon bucket of holy water,

I dont even care where you hid my keys,
Or my other sock, or if it's 20 degrees,
From zero, 
Or if gas is as is as high as its been since ,
the year '04,

Dont close any doors,
Don't give any tours,
We get it, this was your house before ,
But it's not any more,
So it's time for you to go home,

(Miscellaneous harmonies)

Go home ghost!

Holy Water

Have you ever been almost there?
Couldn't quite get it together,
Quite enough to be a genius,
Or even just a man with a college degree,

Have you ever been so fucked up,
That your friends quit callin',
And you needed a bag,
But a ball was too small,
And you were never around when anybody needed you most,

Have you ever come back from,
Something like that some,
People I know to be strong,
wouldn't even give it a try,

I've made my mother cry,

Have you ever been to Shang Hai,
Or even just anywhere else,
Besides where you've been sittin' all along,
Well I'm sittin' there too,
Writing a song to you,

Have you ever just tried,
To move across the ocean, get fried fried again? 
Pretend you're a kid for a while again,
And then get some other shitty job,
In some other beautiful place,

Maybe it's meant to be,
Maybe it's not,
Maybe it could get even worse,
But it's worth a shot to me,
And in a year, or ten years, or twenty,

I hope that someone hears me,
I hope to see it all just a little more clearly,
And I hope there's a happy guy smiling back from inside my mirror at me,

And I hope he looks like me.

Wanna Be

Jon Appleseed & Annie Appleseed

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