I get no kick from champagne
Their alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
So tell me why shouldn't it be true?
I get a kick out of brew
There is only one beer left
Rappers screaming all in our ears like we're deaf
Tempt me, do a number on the label
Eat up all their MC's and drink 'em under the table
Like it's on me, put it on my tab, kid, however you get there
Foot it, cab it, iron horse it, you leaving on your face forfeit
I crush the mic hold it like the heat he might toss it
Told him tell they stole it, he told her he lost it
She told him get off it and a bunch other more shit
Getting money, DT's be getting no new leads
It's like he eating watermelon, stay spitting new seeds
It's the weed, give me some of what he's drooping off
Soon as he wake up choking like it was whooping cough
The group been soft, first hour at the open bar and their trooping off
He went to go laugh and get some head by the side road
She asked him to autograph her derriere, it read
To wide load, this yard bird taste like fried toad
Turned love villain take pride and code words
Crooked eye mold nerd geek with a cold heart
Probably still be speaking in rhymes as an old fart
Study how to eat, to dine by the pizza guy
No, he's not too fly to skeet in a skezzer eye
And squeeze her thigh, maybe giver her curves a feel
And the same way she feel it when she flow with nerves of steel
They call him super when they need their back or plumbing fixed
Powers only one left, the pack comes in six
Whatever happened to two and three
A hood tried to slide with four and five and got caught
Like, what you doing G?
Don't make 'em have to get cutting like truancy
Matter fact not for nothing right now you and me
Looser than a pair of Adidas, I hope you bought your spare tweeters
MC's sound like cheerleaders
Rapping and dancing like Red Head Kingpin
Dude, can we do this thing again no matter how be blinging
You do it for the smelly hubbies
Seeds know what time it is like it's time for Telletubbies
Few can do it, even fewer can sell it
Take it from the dude who wears mask like a tarded helmet
He plots shows like robberies
In and out, one, two, three, no bodies please
Run the cash and you won't get a wet sweatshirt
The mic is the shootie, nobody move, nobody get hurt
Bring heat, like the boy I'm going to war
Came in the door and everybody on the floor
A whole string of jobs like we are on tour
Every night on the score coming to your corner store


Ahhhh the mystical DJ biography. What does one say, what does one hide. I’ve never really liked writing these things as they always seem to be contrived, even more so when written in the 3rd person. So I’m going to stick to just rambling on like this as it’s a lot easier to write. If you choose to continue reading (I’m not sure if these things actually get read anyway) I hope that it can at least be a little entertaining. 

So there was no musical influence in my family, my mum used to and still does listen to the cheesiest of 60‘s, 70’s and 80’s.  So I grew up listening to the Bangles and the Beach Boys. Not much street cred there but good fun nonetheless. I eventually got the entire record collection and I still love playing them, there’s some surprisingly good stuff. My teens were consumed with Punk rock. I still love punk rock. Usually sung rather badly but with such energy. 

So it wasn’t until I stumbled into the boiler room at one of the Big Day Outs back in the late 90’s that I first heard “proper” dance music. It was the big fella Carl Cox and it really changed my perspective. I didn’t go down the techno path straight away though, there would be too much credibility in that.  Although I did want to buy turntables pretty much from that point onwards. I also remember hearing Darudes sandstorm that day, I still love that track, bad video clip though. There are 2 albums I can remember I bought which was the change from me buying only punk to starting to swing my leg over the electronic fence. I can’t really remember why I bought them. Firstly was Roni Size Reprazent – In the Mode, I just love this album every track is so good and when you see footage of them performing it when I first came out on these big chunky PC’s and live drums, so good. Second album was Stanton Warriors – Stanton Sessions, yet another fantastic album that set me down the broken beat path. So I was listening to this broken beat stuff but still listening to some pretty terrible rubbish, hard house stuff. The 2 records I mainly contribute to learning how to mix would be a double LP of a Cream compilation. SO my flatmates had to listen to some pretty naff trance stuff over and over again. I did have a big love for anything by Mauro Piccoto back then also after getting one of his Mixmag cd’s. That and Krafty cut’s Mixmag cd are still on high rotation for me. 

So breakbeat was getting pretty big in the early noughties. I bought so much of the stuff I would be at the record store every weekend. It seems kinda weird now that you don’t have to do that anymore. I remember hearing Zero’s - Emit Collect at breakfast and it took me the best part of a year to track it down. Everyone used to haul their records around to peoples places and have a good old time mixing. It used to be a pain trying to locate all the strewn records post party though. 

So I played around Perth a bit and a few gigs in Melbourne and Brisbane through friends, the usual haunts before deciding I’d had enough of Oz and left for a year in Canada where I played a few gigs in BC in some pretty strange places. One being on the back of a flatbed truck for some party to tempt the snow gods to have a good season or something. It was snowing and damn cold but pretty sweet to be playing while there were fireworks. Another was on Halloween dressed as a giant red M&M. I found out the hard way that it was a bit of a poor costume choice as I had no pockets for my phone or wallet which eventually I lost most likely left on the bar. This was all still using vinyl which made it pretty expensive and impractical for travelling. 

I then moved over to London and was still in this breakbeat thing even though it was dying in the arse. I have London and Berlin to thank for turning me towards house and techno music. It was these places that I really started to understand what it was all about, those moments when the whole dancefloor is just in tune with the dj and everything just comes together. Places like Berghain , Exit Festivals Dance Arena, Warehouse parties in London & of course Ibiza. This is where I also began my love affair with Funktion 1 sound. So crisp and so clean. 

I met my good friend Nick and we used to put on boat parties under the Dim Sum banner  on the Thames and in a cool East London boozer which saw a pretty random assortment of dj’s come play for us. I got to play some cool venues in London,  Turnmills was a good one before it closed. I was lucky to play a few festivals and also a few Euro gigs that I chased up, one in a pub in Chamonix that was next to the hotel we stayed in when snowboarding and another in Istanbul when I lived there for a bit en route to South America which saw a few more crazy gigs. One in Peru at a rather randomly organised “festival” just outside of cusco which saw dudes being suspend by hooks and drunken tattooing, sounds kinda like a biker party. I’m not really sure what it was about. I made some good friends in Colombia as I spent a few months in Bogota playing some crazy parties in the hills overlooking the city, again for Halloween. This time I was “the Crow”. 

Now living in Melbourne I’ve tried to focus myself on making music, I’m really fond of music that is driving and hypnotic with organic elements that really creates atmosphere. Let's see how that turns out hey !


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