Audio Only Playlist

K.C. as Scheherezade 
Snakebite126 as The Crypt Keeper

SNAKEBYTE RAP BATTLES
SCHEHEREZADE
VS
THE CRYPT KEEPER
BEGIN!

Scheherazade:
Once upon a time, there lived a horrid dweller in a gory cellar 
Who thought that his lore was better ‘til the most notorious storyteller 
Showed him hell and if pain’s how you get your pleasure
I’ll have this masochist corpse left living happily forever
Take your aged BO away from my throne and wash up
No shock you got censored looking like Jeff Dunham’s condom
Got the monkey’s paw flows ‘cause it’s a death wish testing me
I got this gold in the bag like OPEN SESAME
Your OG writers couldn’t have had a sadder day mourning 
Once you stooped to some kiddie slapstick every Saturday morning 
And Rod Serling’s rolling body’s all that you can make move, son
Tried to be the top anthology but seems you hit some Goosebumps
I bewildered the known world with my Arabian Nights
You left moviegoers wanting to erase Demon Knight
I’ve won before you’ve even had a chance to diss me
So I shall make like your mother’s tomb and wrap this up quickly

The Crypt Keeper:
Welcome boils and ghouls, have a listen if you’d please
And I’ll give you all a Look-See at some real Crypt TV
Better make like Judd Campbell and start to knock on wood
‘Cause I assassinate Sassanids faster than the conquests could
I’m a sinful badass sailing on these flows 
You can’t diss the pro with your PG Disney prose
So maybe listen your dad and start retreatin’ 
Or I’ll render all 1,001 Nights of yours sleepless
I keep it lit, your flow’s Schehere-shoddy
You got style drier than my own barren body
When it comes to baller narrators, I take the crown
So let me make like a maggot and break it down (Psycho!)
Got love for all the little boils and ghouls, die-versity
Your hubby ripped through slaves cause he couldn’t fulfill his girlies’ needs
Now his queen needs to read to him ‘til he’s sleeping
About as good a catch as that jar with the genie
All the splendid deaths caused for your happy life
So much virgin blood spilled, you’d think it was a sacrifice
Cause once his incel terror caused every young maiden’s death
You pawned yourself off to him like a game of chess

Scheherazade:
Crawl back to Fear Street so your torture porn’s no longer told
There’ll be no issue once you’re silenced…like the Comics Code
The vizier’s daughter is slaying Kassir’s monster
With stories you read causing some young kiddies’ dreams trauma
I’m the king’s consort, I can’t be bothered
Entertaining this big circus act, like you take after your freak father 
And none can rock the academy like my score did
Your crypt’s got the corniest jam since Michael Jordan’s
My verbal execution’s like Niles, leaving your brain fried 
Got murdered by this music, so tell Alfred I say hi

The Crypt Keeper:
I’m a bull, you’re an ass feigning sickness
Strolling to the royal palace like “I can fix him”
This mistress in distress is going to need her sis when
I’m Carrie-Ann this track to leave you axed, Merry Cryptmas
My core-shaking stories leave horror minds inspired
While the tales you’re peddling make the Fresh Prince look expired
Your execution’s come so the sultan will have to tell your boo
That another of his ladies has been royally screwed

Instrumental by Epistra
Beat Arrangement/Additional Instruments by Snakebite126
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Special thanks to Freshy Kanal, Zagranis, Mothmancha, Adroitwhiz, and Walk

Scheherezade vs The Crypt Keeper. Snakebyte Rap Battles

Happy 6 year anniversary of TRBoCS! I wasn't able to get a video out but I hope this makes up for it! I love you guys and stay tuned for the video release!

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
MONOKUMA
VS
THE ANNOYING ORANGE
BEGIN!

Monokuma:
I am Monokuma and I’m your headmaster 
Here to blend a delectable drink to have with my next platter
Bite your tongue, kiddo, it’s way past nya nya time
You’ll find this battle’s like the dictionary, Orange’s got no rhymes
So I’ve got my dukes up 
Flow smooth like butter - Mondokuma
I’ll block your sound like a Deluxe Room
Leave you spinning like a pinwheel pinwheel pinwheel of doom
This orange killer’s the most socially inept in his whole dang kitchen  
Passion Fruit gets your juices flowing? You’re an OJ simp, son
It’s just so sad that you’re a heel, with all your pals made diet meals
In modern times, you can not deal cause now you’ve lost all your a-peel
Broadcasting killing games to leave the flames of hope extinguished
But thinking about it now, I should’ve just went with your show on CN 

Annoying Orange:
Awww, a teddy! Hahahaha, nice diss, bear 
But I’ve felt more despair hanging out with this pear! (Hey!)
So zip it bout your stupid little saga only suiting little toddlers 
They should call it Dangan-romper (hahaha, drop it)
Ayo it’s AO, with the great flows straight from Dane Boe
On the kitchen sink, I’ll be spitting seeds cause I kill the beat, so just lay low
I’m packing more flavor than a bag of Cuties
You perv on kids worse than an ad for Cuties
Your case 3s are the only thing tragic, Koomy
Oh no, wear a mask for his magic cooties!
Your verse is an Ultimate Punishment but all your crushing’s the DJ’s hopes
Sitting and watching the mayhem but all that you’re maiming’s your VA’s throats 
Your little cubs should get ready to write your Mono-File
Cause now you’ll get a taste of my kitchen, orange nya nya style 
In rankings, you can barely make top ten (nya nya)
Like who cares what Enoshima’s loose sock says (nya nya)
Call it orange fever, I’m sick with a diss
So treat me like you and lick up my kids (nya nya)
All your plans to defeat hope, got crushed by a little Alter Ego
I guess it’s true what they say - never meet Chihiros (hahaha)

Kurokuma:
And they I say I talk too much, ha, let’s put this to rest!

Shirokuma:
Can’t stand the heat inside the kitchen? 

The Monokubs:
Then get burned like Celeste!

Monokuma:
Skrrrt
Comparing apple trees to oranges, it’s shocking how far you’ve fallen
But you can just ask Komaru - I’m balling
What happened to you, kiddo? I mean your view count “wazzup”
But your whole crew-
-Crew? Like Among Us? Hahahahaha
-just shut up!
I’ve had it with your insufferable rhymes
So let’s give it all we got, it’s punishment time
When it comes to the kitchen’s biggest weirdos, even Teruteru’s not as abhorrent
Because I’ve been torturing violent knife-equipped psychopaths like it’s just Clockwork, Orange
This ain’t a Jigsaw trap, talk back and it’ll cost you your life
So let me give you some pointers because I’m sharp as a KNIFE
I’ll take your Happy Appy Sausage Party brain destroying channel and I’ll have it canceled
Leave an orange strung up like Hiyoko, ripping my way through this midget asshole
So be glad that I’m putting an end to your shit, buster
I’ll be bombarding your carcass with bars like a body has been diss covered

Annoying Orange:
This is your lesson, huh? Then let me ask this
How’d an AI run by Junko go out of fashion
Today your Fangans are the only reason that people stick 
So treat your efforts like one of them - cease and desist
I left my mark on the internet, you’re a virus gone out of control
Better call you Liam the Leprechaun, cause you’re losing the gold  
I know your mastermind’s struggling to get it together
But hey, it wouldn’t be the first time she was crushed under pressure

Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Dansonn
Additional Instruments by Snakebite126
Kitchen Background by Fightmarker

The Annoying Orange vs Monokuma. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

I am the Trakked Man.
Freshy Kanal as The Russian Sleep Experiment
RNG and Quizzique as The Hat Man
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Written by Trakked
Additional help by nEon, Zagranis
Mixed and engineered by Freshy Kanal
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
The Hat Man:
I am the hat man, and I dispense fear
I know you’re wondering now, “how did I get here?”
Well listen chap, this dapper rapper has a thing to say
Prepare to watch as your vision’s tainted, I bring decay
I am a con man, donning a hat and robe
You’re far gone, man, you’ve already shat your clothes
You’re dependent on some toxic gas to stay calm
And you’re looking like you went through twenty bombs with napalm
Trapped in a cell for fifteen days, tried to keep awake
And you seem insane from the chamber
You’re simply a weak display, it is bleak, just face 
It, can’t seek escape from the danger
Unfortunate your door is open to many mistakes
It’s as if you forced it open, and now it’s about to break
You should know, sir, you brought me in on your own terms
So when that door crumbles I’ll never give you closure.

Subject 1:
Am I what you fear in a man?
A hellish, cold vessel, a mere shell of a man?
One that always hears all the screams and tears of the damned?
I’m not scared of silhouettes, bring me to Hell if you can
(*laughter*) You couldn’t cage me, please! 
I’m seen as the demon of the KGB
If you want to try your hand at erasing me,
Then like me, grab onto my flesh and take a piece!
How sweet, you’re residing under childrens’ beds at night,
Frightened by a bit of light, while I’m the reason that they hide
And you’re looming over humans doing nothing
(*deep breath*) I rip the researchers to shreds and make the onlookers disgusted 
So if you want to try and pass some judgement, go and stuff it up
Your ugly mug, repugnant, and you’re nothing but 
A bug to me, so shut it, I will cut you up and flood this drug;
I've shrugged off thuds, cuts and blood, while you're only done when I pull the plug
Makes sense with the hat, now, you're dishing some caps out
Belongs in a crack house, causing drunkards to black out
I've had doubts, but I know myths are better off dead
So go off yourself now and GET OUT OF MY HEAD

The Hat Man:
Want me to keep cutting? It's not like you had a choice
You've already torn your vocal cords and shredded your voice
Was a traitor to the Soviets and put in constraints
I'm in minds across the world; the enemy of the mental state
The Hat Man leaves lands desolate. If you wanna mess with this,
I suggest you break your psyche twice and put an end to it
Then maybe you’ll see me in Hell
Reliving all your worst moments trapped inside a padded cell
Negative feelings are what I eat
Take a look at your film's ratings and I'm feasting for weeks
You have no room for debating when your blank one ain't unique
Your life is for my taking; now drift deep into sleep


Subject 1:
You can’t sedate me into silence, I am madness incarnate
The insanity lurking within humanity’s mind
You’re just hiding in the corner as if you were a target
Pure depravity causing calamities in the night
I’m so nearly free from hearing you speak again
Prepare to see me break the nocturnal haven in which you tread
And you may be known across the globe as a terrible bad sign,
Yet you can’t prevent your status dying, hear the flatline?

The Hat Man vs The Russian Sleep Experiment - Rap Cypher #30

Ben Drowned (Misc) VS Faceless Ayato (Misc)

ok trust bro i didnt even realize faceless ayato was a shameless copy of bendrowned until like three quarters through recording give me some mercy please 😭😭

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: epil3psy

Ben Drowned (0:18)

Pop from a cartridge into a dead game.
Land like a port ship, boarding your island state.
You’ll get scarred quick, targeting your headspace.
When I face off a swordsman, losing ain’t up for debate.

Listen close, little is known about this Ayato,
Except those fictional stories that scare thirteen-year-olds,
You’ve got no face ‘cause you’re stealing the basis of my legend,
That’s why I’m carrying you to a greater Ascension.

What’s lamer than Genshin? A change worth a quarter.
A terrible fate that you’re not saved; It’s YOURTURN.
I’d let this dork burn, but you’re quite the empty entity
Looking at your lore, it seems like you’re taking this L-egy.

Faceless Ayato (0:46)

*Sigh* How pervasive.
A mild virus wasted on childlike abrasiveness.
Quite alike how we’re chasing the player
But looking at you makes me glad that I’m faceless.

Haunted a modded ROM, then locked at the bottom of
Grandpa’s dusty old garage, that’s a terrible setup,
No cult classic, a kid outclassed by cult tactics,
Trapped in, forever outdated like your graphics.

I’m not a copy, just a better version of your tired trope.
What, being in a videogame ain’t what you might’ve hoped?
You jump through cables but couldn’t possess a microphone.
Let me give you a new reason to be a hydrophobe.

Ben Drowned (1:15)

You shouldn’t have done that, (STOP) 
But let’s have some fun, yeah? (PLAYING)
‘Least when I take up storage, (DROPPED)
It ain’t for some dumb app! (FRAMES)

Your time runs short when you’re coming from TikTok!
Trust, ‘cause I know a thing or two about quick clocks!
Tell me, there might be a need for a Mask mandate,
You came from the dark web, is that why you do blackface?

Faceless Ayato (1:34)

Re-generated lines? I’m not flamed by this AI.
Keep in mind, his brain stays confined in a save file.
In the Mind’s Eye, there’s no damage done in a hiatus,
But in Entertainment, you’ll remain nameless.

A fad from an age that’s long been past due.
Step off the podium, I stand atop this statue.
That’s you, putting on a mask for a better cause,
Not Covid, but for your pretend façade of a CleverBot.

Ben Drowned (1:53)

Wait up, something was lost in translation. 
How do you have lines when you’ve got nothing to say ‘em with?
‘Cause you stalk a bar-tender, but couldn’t get a tail end,
So let me make it known to the world how your tale ends!

Bled out to a friend gouging your head out,
Then found, spread ‘round the net but there’s been doubt,
BEN DROWNED sends thousands down to hell town,
Refreshed browser will turn a mess ‘cause - you’re next now.

Faceless Ayato (2:11)

Here’s TheTruth.rtf, you’ll drop into the sea when I release you.
Too bad you no longer have a .net to retrieve you.
And the next time you employ 4chan and occult kids,
Make sure they’re smart enough to follow instructions.

You failed to be an ARG but that’s hardly a mystery,
Ben is more malevolent, and his story is history.
The Moon Children wouldn’t listen when I had declined them,
So they choked on my flow, like you will. Goodbye then (Goodbye Ben).

Ben Drowned VS Faceless Ayato - Rap Battles of Whatever

idk how the fuck im gonna edit this so here's an early audio release

RaccoonBroVA as Ozpin
Alex M. as Zanza
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan and Rosenthal
Mixed by Light
Beat by Dansonn
Temp cover art by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JqQ-pcM16OXxGHELiBvnkZpU65OwPW0HBTlqnKOxQaA/edit?usp=sharing

Ozpin vs Zanza. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. RaccoonBroVA & Alex M.)

FRIDAY NIGHT FUNKIN'!!!!
Fightmarker as Boyfriend
Rosenthal as Kung Fu Man
Beat produced by Tantu
Writers: Trakked, AlchemyKing
Additional help by: NeonTheProtogen, Kamren 
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Kung Fu Man:
This ain’t a fight you’re winning, take a step and you’re in danger
Sounding like a car and children think that it’s a banger?
Controlled by the keyboard, but you’ve never been a player
MUGEN’s riding tracks, I stole your girl; I demon slayed her

Boyfriend:
I’m going old school, no need for arrow keys
Hedgehog hair really wants to fare with me? 
Nah, you’re not a problem to me, brother
Think I sound like a car? BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
I’ve been a rockstar in every round that I spit
While you’ve flopped hard since 2006
And I’m on charts, you better be on guard
You know I got bars while you’re sounding pretty shit
You wish you could steal my girl, bitch
You can't even talk cuz you lost yours to Suave Dude
While mine's on the sidelines and vibing to my lines and writing
Not fighting, but I think she blocked you (OHHH)
I’m the mainstay character in every mod and story
You’re deleted from the roster first cuz they think that you’re boring
At least I got a family, if you wanna battle me,
Why don’t you go into Notepad and code a personality?

Kung Fu Man:
All that battle rapping with Daddy Dearest ain’t doing nothing
Step in my dojo, I’ll show you discipline, boot your skull in
I've got a move to show you when you go and push my buttons 
No hadokens needed, I'll still be having you looking rough, kid
You're with GF, but why should you bother?
Since the only person that you're wanted by is her father
The Palm is not for novices, go and train for a decade
And maybe if you dropped a diss, you'd be able to get laid
White boy stare with that light blue hair
If I looked in McDonalds, I would find you there
Got some mascot status, but soon you'll be phased out
Ruining your site by turning Newgrounds to Playgrounds
I'm skilled as a fighter, so I sure can be offensive
I fend against my demons while they’re giving you erections
You're a Phantom in my Arcade, step up and you get beat
You'll have less chances of releasing than your next week

Boyfriend:
It looks like Elecbyte forgot about you, bro
When your classic mode is only you fighting two clones
Peace out, bitch, you were slow to defend
So go cry in the corner of your dojo again

Boyfriend vs Kung Fu Man - Rap Cypher #33

In this series debut, Batman villian Hush goes up against Oregon urban legend The Bandage Man in a battle of the bandage-wearing murderers. Which one will leave with the most bruises?

Spadical as Hush
ForgottenSon as The Bandage Man

Hush:
I say only strike when your foes weakness show
This battle would’ve been easy, but I didn’t bring soap (aargh)
You’re lost of your life, cemented to horrendous smell and bandaged scars 
You want a ride? Hop on the back of my parents car (aargh)
I owned Wayne’s entire town, while you only had a road 
I tortured a fucking clown, so I think I can crack a joke 
Enjoyed logging alone, but it came to a sudden stop 
Had so little friends, even the saw mill had to cut him off 

The Bandage Man:
You’re a weak and decrepit man, why can’t you accept the fact
You wanted your parents dead, couldn’t even perfect that 
They almost made it to the grave, but one was saved by one Thomas Wayne
You wanted Bruce’s praise, but now you’re waning in his father’s name 
Even you don’t know who you are, despite that I remain nameless
When I stalk they see me clearly, you hide behind people’s faces 
Riddled with plastic surgery , think it’ll eclipse your damages 
But your fathers abuse? Now that cannot be fixed with bandages

Hush: 
In Oregon, you like drinks, let’s crack open a cold case
Greet you with a couple shots, how’s that for some first aid
With locals pirating your image, do you really think you’re scaring me?
Mythos blew out proportion, no wonder they call it Cannon Beach
I don’t know who I am? I’m renowned for my one story
While your local town fucked around, came up with three origins
I’ll maim this mummy and make sure he has a bad time
With both this battle and your life, you were killed by a fucking landslide

The Bandage Man: 
When the clown attacked, you became the prey of the birds 
And you turned to the Joker’s jester in every sense of the word
You went back to your old friend, only for him to flush you out
Ironic, you want things to go your way you should just shut your mouth
Your memory is broken, you won’t kill me, know the truth
You’ll dent me with holes? Dent sure put holes into you 
And with your story ruined, Tom traded just to riddle us
No surprise, when your film’s reception faded to a- 

Written by Awesome Ayden and Everon
Produced by ESKRY
Mixed by Jordy
Cover Art by Everon

This battle was written, demoed, recorded, mixed and (privately) uploaded in 75 hours.

Hush vs. The Bandage Man - DC vs. Anything (Issue #1)

This battle was made in collaboration with Leo Barqui for the 100 Hour Challenge!

Rosenthal as Bermuda Triangle
Leo Barqui as Illuminati
Writing by Leo Barqui and Rosenthal
Mixed by Light
Art by Rosenthal
Beat by Ihaksi

BERMUDA: (0:20)

You’re not gonna want to view what befalls the people who cross Bermuda (cross Bermuda)
They’re lost and gone without proof, but it already seems we’ve forgotten you, huh? (-gotten you, huh?)
You haven’t got a lot to lose, for a secret society you seem basic
Makes sense you’re made of a bunch of tools when, you copied the Freemasons
I can’t even dream of trying 
To size up the sheep that believe your lies
To unite the elite to defeat the pious,
Act right but you’re really an equal side
Convinced that they’re different, the witless sit still in silence 
Within businesses and hidden from the light
They think they’re bright but with all that hiding
In the dark, you’re nowhere near being enlightened

ILLUMINATI: (0:52)

You call yourself the devil’s, right? Caught a couple bodies while I caught half the body of Christ
Disappearances crashing down in plain sight; visions with no explanation: pseudo-signs
Now a Florida man’s begging for a new chance, you should be warned in advance, I light a beat up
Open up an eye and see everything, while the only eye that you’ve ever seen is Katrina’s
After Van Winkle Ripped your story open, it became Fate that your shores filled with Sand
It’s less of an Argonaut, more of an Argosy when your pulp following’s traversed by Gaddis
You’ll be Lost in Limbo, on a road to becoming less learned of than Bimini
I’m in the pockets of every last heathen this weakening region’s decided to leave alive

BERMUDA: (1:24)

You got the wrong idea with your awful theorems, I’d rather you fuck off and leave ‘cause 
When you cruise through my Business, you’re gonna pay up - and I’m not talkin’ Visa
The only real mark that everybody has heard that’s Illuminati Confirmed
Are the eyes that mean God will and always observe, and it’s drawn on a bill with a dollar of worth
These fraudulent words of an entrepreneur aren’t killing the industry
(Ay) This hypocrite gives into what their rich members need (Uh) While I’m giving these sinking fleets entering me shipping fees (Ay ay)
You’re not hot with sixty degrees (Alright) Talk shop with the kids on your feed (Alright)
You're on top with a pyramid scheme, (Uhuh) but it’s built on a rinse and repeat of a billion memes

ILLUMINATI: (1:56)

Just as scattered as the theories you flare up; 
I drew in whole nations, you lost the Connemara
Claiming magnet pulls? Your only poles are the ones you lose; 
My influence kills, survivors landed in front of you
So pull out a compass, try to read it, 
But with Strict Observance you couldn’t even touch the needle
Theodore was in my pocket when when Bavaria could not show the 
Same human error that’s turning this fucking Connover
Claim I stole from the Masons? That’s tame when the same could be taken from the flights you hijacked
Even if that wormhole really does exist, I wouldn’t travel through it to earn this battle’s time back
So make like the Atalanta, sink down in shame since you’ve lost outright
I remain the top with no effort, and I rolled and smoked you like the Kusche you were downed by

Outro (2:28)

Bermuda Triangle VS Illuminati - Rap Battles of Whatever - ft. Leo Barqui

Funny Scrogus (Spelunky) VS Chimmy (Chimmy) - Rap Battles of Whatever

ThanosQuack as Funny Scrogus
Korekitten as Chimmy
Writing by Rosenthal
Mixed by Korekitten
Beat by Stoic
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to dad_as_heck and garbageGothic

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Funny Scrogus VS Chimmy! Begin!

Scrogus (0:19)

(Uh) Scrogus, the coolest rapper ever to be
Against dimwit Chimmy, but he’s no enemy, please
I’m a jellyfish, you die one single step in the sea
Consider this the second time you’re on a record and beat
You're not that threatening to me, I'm not even phased
How the hell is permanent walking a fucking speedrun game?
(Yeah) And your diet of apples makes it obvious
You'll never find a doctor and youll never fucking talk to one

Chimmy (0:38)

You know it's Chimmy so don't fuck with me
Who even are you? Dude, you make the ocean fishy
But it’s no surprise that when you go spelunking
You’re so outta place, it makes Scrogus Funny
Don’t need those OC’s to change your look, bro
I’ll beat you so hard, I’m achieving purple
(Uh) But you wanna know the most sad thing?
Your only interaction with dad is when he makes you a sandwich

Scrogus (0:57)

Oh, you jealous of the jellyfish?
People travel ‘round the globe to revel in my excellence
You’re a ghoulish creature. (Yeah) Nobody wants you
You must be demonic ‘cause SummoningSalt blocks you
And where’s your costume? Public nudity’s a crime, dawg.
I may wear shades, but you’ll burn my fucking eyes off.
No wonder people can’t even improve their speedruns
Playing your game is already the biggest time loss.

Chimmy (1:17)

Bitch, don’t come for my fans, that just ain’t true
The same people who praise you like to inhale glue
You’re crazy to think you’re famous dude,
You may have escaped a forgotten arcade game, but all your players did the same with you
(Yuh) And your wiki is a mystery
I’m missing the reason behind the hard R that you’ve hidden deep
I got the W, so there’s no runners left, kid
‘Cause it’s on the record, you’ve one/won second

Scrogus

Oh yeah? Well, Undertale 2
best game ever bitch. sans undertale eats ketchup. fucker.

Chimmy

Don’t even get me fucking started, if you know videogames at all, youve probably heard of chimmy. Released in 1983 for camoco vision box its one of the most beloved videogames of all time (fades off)

Funny Scrogus VS Chimmy - Rap Battles of Whatever

Reginald Tetra (Cemetery Mary) VS The Elephant Man (Camp Here & There) - Rap Battles of Whatever

PLAY CEMETERY MARY!!! AND LISTEN TO CAMP HERE & THERE!!!! because there are spoilers here GUURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quizzique as Reginald Tetra
M!CAH as The Elephant Man
Writing by Rosenthal
Additional Help by AlchemyKing, ThanosQuack, A Trash Artist
Art by Rosenthal
Mixed by Trakked 
Beat by ToneJonez
Special thanks to Mayfield & Belov, ArcadeKitten, garbageGothic, AlchemyKing, and the rest of the Maryheads!

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man! Begin!

Reginald Tetra (0:18)

(Ahem…) Welcome, pleasure t’have met ya
I’m Reginald Tetra, and I couldn’t help but notice your poor sense of direction
See, the cemetery’s the next stop
For a rotten corpse like you, I could tell from the smell of your stench (Ugh)
So let me address the man in the room
Or rather, the elephant man harassing the youth
With how you're dressing yourself, the only magic in you
Was Sydney’s vanishing act that turned the camp to a coup (*Chuckles*)
Don’t masquerade as a prophet
With the simplest visions you make, it’s obvious that people leave you blamed for exhaustion
Though, you’d only steal glances when you break in to rob them
You got some screws loose, so let me put the nails in your coffin

The Elephant Man (0:55) 

Amen! Cease the prayers and the praise, friends!
Your game had acclaim, yes, but you just put the ‘claim’ in!
For this man? He lies! (Ha!) It makes sense for a ‘lay’man!
His fake talk of a dayjob gets paid off with a raincheck! (*Chuckles*)
Said you make coffins? (Well, well…) That’s a new excuse!
Once I’m through with you, (Hahahaha!) I can do that too…
Stupid fool, (Blasphemy!) and with every single route to choose
Time and time again, (Why!) you just end up out the loop! (No!)
They can’t uncover the Blackwood Butcher,
‘Cause you just hide the skeletons in your closet with rats in your cupboard,
And it seems you’re not the careful type, much like how that chair is tied
Your alibi’s not airtight, so-

Reginald Tetra (1:32)

Don’t you even dare of trying-
-To worm into heads with the worms in your mouth when you talk!

The Elephant Man (1:35)

You cut tongues, maybe consider your own? Just a thought.
Left in the dark so much, you’d fit as cabin doctor, no?

Reginald Tetra (1:41)

That cabin going dark is nothing to a Blackout Hospital
Vile, with one look you'd knock my lights out
But you're such a child, you'd get shook once the light's out
And I’m surprised how Sydney believes all the things you speak
‘Cause he only ever listens to you in his sleep.

The Elephant Man (1:57)

This isn’t fair to me! You barely know what caring means!
One night, you’re taking Mary in as charity, and when she finds the hair you keep
She’s too scared to scream because you’re there, it seems
You’re not just her doctor, you’re the reason she’s in therapy!

Reginald Tetra (2:10) 

Well, if you wanna get with a medic, then let this be your appointment,
You took toys from the kids and Sydney’s feelings to toy with
So they practised defense, but this bastard can’t get it
All your ideals aren’t grounded - now that’s astral projection!
Wanted a life with the dead guy? (Ugh!) You’re highly possessive!
Sent threats to find him, but you got the wrong kind of ‘director’!
Ever since then, you’ve been mentally backwards
Got a taste of your own medicine, and you still can’t reflect on your actions!

The Elephant Man (2:33)

I’m backwards? Your cold case is littered with antifreeze!
So toxic, explains the way that you’re treating your family!
Escaped the law in your plot, ‘cause you weren’t part of it!
You can’t pass bars to get to the conflict between Congress and Parliament!
I don’t know why you sound amused when expanding tombs,
Under the surface, you already got lots of ground to lose!
You hurt your love with Mary, now it’s down there too!
Your fans were shippers of a dead romance, now they’ll worship our muse! (Hahahahaha!)

Outro (2:58)

Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man - Rap Battles of Whatever

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. Disturbing topics ahead.
MultiSuperVids as The Grifter
Cri and GarbageGothic as Sad Satan
Beat produced by DumbChild
Written by Trakked
Additional help by Worms, GamingPlush64 and Snakebite126
Mixed by Jort
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

The Grifter:
What you're about to see is graphic; discretion advised
The only vid within the net that's known for wrecking your life
Traumatizing psychologically and causing nausea 
Drop a doll and offer trauma, smash your head with a pipe
No petty grifting or swindling, I'm malicious, bitch
I take the children playing your game and I rip them bit by bit
I hear their pleads for life and really, I don't give a shit
So why don't you just give up now, submit and slit your wrists
There's reasons that they all call me the monster of the Balkans
You had a short rise, but like Lucifer, you've fallen
You got a couple idiots to walk along some hallways
They watch me and they wish there was a single shred of God left
The "real" version of your game's a mess
CP on PCs displayed with text 
You cannot turn back because you've been warned
You're not demonic, while I'm the Devil in human form.

Sad Satan:
Pain. Suffering. Torment. 
All is deserved when this killer is dormant.
Abhorrent, the Grifter becomes a new victim and stored in 
My files with the rest of the corpses.
This Most Disturbed Person on Earth is worthless
A supposed man-demon that I classify as vermin
And worse yet, this mixtape attempts to keep fighting
But see that your race is the one that is dying.

The Grifter:
You fail to understand why I'm regarded as a mindfuck
Let's have some fun before our time's up..
I'm gonna be finding a reason to have you writhing and screaming 
Tear off your eyelids with violence so you will never keep your eyes shut
It's playtime, fucker, grab this bitch by the neck
Pin him down, stab his systems and I slit all the rest
Puncture his chest, and hit him till he's wishing for death,
Twist his neck and skin this infant, put this vid on the net

Sad Satan:
Stop. Your empty threats are getting numerous.
I've a cult following that's larger than your hubris is.
Originated in forum boards on 4Chan,
Then mods saw your bodies and opted to have your gore banned.
This necropedophile is soft on his victims
Give in to pure hopelessness with the lack of God that you'll witness
You are fraudulent and sinful, and so your crimes will be judged still
This is not a rap battle. This is a snuff film.
Sluggish and unresponsive when my virus catches on
Tell me, who will sob when your body is dead and gone? 
Not a single soul. In fact, it will be celebrated.
Walk into the hall and reach for the death that's awaiting
You are a joke to the scenes in the deep web
Leaving channels abandoned with scenes no one has seen yet
Catatonic and unspeaking so you're saving your breath
Like your final child, The Grifter meets a fate worse than death.

The Grifter vs Sad Satan - Rap Cypher #36.66

Hazelmoth as Spamton
Hazelmoth and garbageGothic as ENA 
garbageGothic as Moony
Writing by Rosenthal
Art by ATrashArtist
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat by moodindigo
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to Hazelmoth, garbageGothic, ItsNugget, and GamingPlush64

Intro (0:00)

Rap Battles of Whatever! Spamton VS Ena! Be-

Spamton (0:10)

HEY EVERY !!

WAIT, DON’T MEAN TO [Delay the Action]
BUT HEY, IT’S ME, YOUR FAVOURITE SALESMAN: SPAMTON!
YOU’RE PRETTY IGNORANT IN BASIC CHATS SINCE
YOU’D [Talk To The Hand!] WHEN TRANSLATING LANGUAGE!
I’VE BEEN THE BEST RATED SINCE [[1997]]
BUT YOU’RE QUITE THE [[BIG ONE]], WITH 9 FEET I’D REACH [h e a v e n . . .]
I DON’T DOUBT THAT YOU’RE THAT HIGH, WALKING ON AN ACID TRIP,
BUT YOU SHOULD [Use A Car!] IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR BANANAS, KID!
[Step Ahead], BUT YOU CAN’T GET THROUGH THE CROWD
SO YOUR WHOLE SERVER DELETED, NOW YOUR CONNECTIONS ARE DOWN!
FANS GET KICKED LIKE A [Brick Frog], NO INVITES TO [Click On]
THEY’LL GET SO- THEY’LL GET SO- THEY’LL GET- [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

Ena and Moony (0:43)

Ah, I thought it’d be another normal auction day
‘Til I saw the things you got for sale and see, I gotta say
You- sold your own old socks? I think I’m vomiting…
Your cold heart for cold hard cash got you a frosty grave…
I can’t wrap my head around your wacky random sentences,
All the things you're telling Kris are making me- BLEH- BLEH- 🌊
GEEZ, I get sick HEARING you say THOSE WORDS
You CAN’T MAKE SENSE! You can’t even MAKE KROMER!
😒 Ugh… Yuna, are you drunk again? No! (nonono!)
I’m only taking shots at his puppet head! (🌚 Oh hohoho!)
You talk a big game in brackets, but lately you’ve become a sham!
I can’t tell who’s the true conman… but Tumblr can!

Spamton (1:15)

[i got a secret...] FOR WHEN THE INTERNET’S DOWN, TOO!
THIS EASTER EGG IS CALLED [[Kill Yourself, Now!]] (👀 Ooo!)
CONSIDER IT WELL, IT’S [Only For A Limited Time!]
FORGET THE GARBAGE, WITH YOUR NONSENSE YOU'VE BEEN [[LIVING A LIE!!!]]
I MEAN, JUST ASK MIKE WHAT YOU SHOULD GET RIGHT!
[[can anyone hear me…? hello…?]] IT'S A DEAD LINE!
[HAHAHAHA!] BUT I KNOW THAT MUST BE HARD FOR YOU!
YOUR TEAM GOING THROUGH [[BURN!!]]OUT’S THE ONLY DREAM BARBECUE!

Ena (1:37)

Your punches are too soft! You must be weak!
The only strong things here are those cups of tea!
Ran a popular shop but when your problems arose,
You only wanted to run! To run? Turron!
And with how long you’ve had them waiting, fans are out of patience!
How funny, the puppet’s made to be the fandom’s plaything!
Just a cashcow for Deltarune…
Always had your back against the wall ever since you’ve had milk in you!

Outro (1:58)

Spamton VS ENA - Rap Battles of Whatever

APRIL FOOL’S! I don’t know what you thought you were going to see from me today, but come on- a battle between two undercover investigators posing as secretaries to uncover a corruption ring and return their company to some semblance of a reputation? It’s almost EXACTLY like FRB! …I’ll let you decide what that means. Anyhow, in today’s verbal fisticuffs, the characters being pitted together are:

Jolene, the quick-moving, cold-eyed bombshell Toad from the Glitz Pit, who’s dedicated all of her energy to finding her missing brother and reinstate him as the champion of the world-class fighting ring… 

And Roz, Monsters Inc.’s infamously mean-spirited secretary, who’s really an agent from the Child Detection Agency sent undercover to bring to light a corruption ring involving the Inc.’s famous door system! 

CAST:

garbageGothic as Jolene (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)
https://www.youtube.com/@garbageGothic

Red Rob as Roz (Monsters, Inc.)
https://www.youtube.com/@RedRobOfficial

Beat by Leo Barqui 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEZDXmtZBL4O1B2rEzxRvGA

Mix by MVDNVGHT 
https://www.youtube.com/@TheeMvdnvght

TN by Ryufan76
www.youtube.com/channel/UCYlm1k8GpfpyNuKm_KarxjA

Lyrics:
Jolene:
A new contestant? No, that can’t be
If you got in front of a crowd, they’d cause a stampede
Everyone would stand, flee, even the champ would back up in horror when
You’ve only Rose out of your chair to be replaced by family
Let’s go over the facts: even though you’re attached
To a notorious agency for the loneliest tasks
When they send Double-Oh-One to detect a child first
You couldn’t show a gun, but this slug should be fired
I’m undercover, looking to find my brother
Your guise should be your daily routine: closing the shutters
I’ve handled some complexity from the fighters I care for
But nothing beats the useless maze that sits behind your Scare Floor
The same task you fumbled for three years
Any Toad worth his salt could solo your team clear
Your position’s a front, and your worst side too
Get out of my office, I won’t bother registering you

Roz:
Is somebody planning a fun evening?
I can let your manager know when you’re done stealing
Cause with a track record like yours, your invasion’s the worst
Since the child’s, but now I notice: you never did your paperwork
How can I tell? Once your brother returned home, you
Forgot to mention all the profiles erased
And once you brought the Pit’s reputation back to the first dome
The Great Gonzales had a second climb to make
Always watching, waiting for a mistake to slip
I’ll slide this failed detective under a paper clip
To file her away and save space, give that ahoge a snip
Or send her straight to the shredders, pull the shaving trick
Keep on twittering, and X will be Mush
Will I send her and her story straight to Goomfrey? I know you hate rubbish
Why not hide in the bathroom so no one knows where you’ve gone to?
You’ll find me there anyways- your silence speaks volumes (Aaahhhh-haa-haa)

Jolene:
Ew… foul, you’re just like Grubba
But now I’ll shake the stage: Mike’s hands won’t be all that’s crushed up
To start, Tattle and find the endpoint of our battle
She won’t make the list, she’s less respected than Hardscrabble
Appearing everywhere but can’t do a thing to help
You should buy a snow-cone and wait for it to melt
If it’s Laughter we’re After, you’ve brought none
So make like your new series should, and be all done

Roz:
This juice addict couldn’t live through Waternoose’s planning
I know the truth saddens you, but a clue you haven’t
Give that magazine back, no wrestler would want you
My uniform’s got less flaws than your costume
Take advantage of every Bandy with your challenge
My movie in full happened much faster than your chapter
Your only Gold Star was found, faked and now taken
And now somebody should investigate for foul play again

Jolene Vs Roz- RAP BATTLE! Ft. garbageGothic and Red Rob

Happy mother's day

BobcatXtreme as Antonio Tabacchi
Zawesome as Buck Cluck
Writing by Alchemyking
Art by A Trash Artist and Luke Reardon
Beat by ENNWAY and Leo Barqui
Mixing by SIR Rap Battles
Cover art by JK03
Special thanks: Freshy Kanal, Eric the Audible, SimplyRazzy, MultiSuperVids, Belle Beniko, Taiga, LimJJ, Pure Ice Blue

Antonio:
How’d you end up down here? This site’s forbidden knowledge!
Well… I guess you look like someone who needs College
Well, no matter. When I chop your head off, you’ll wish you fled faster
Said your son should take it up, but I’m the true chessmaster
You’re the most pathetic Disney chicken since McWhiggin
Dishing out burns like Azoth, now that’s finger lickin’
Send you down a well or pipe; it fits, ‘cause you’re washed up
What’s a fall like that? You’re already at the barrel’s bottom
I admit, I led my daughter down there to die
But your film’s still the worst tragedy of 2005
You were the first sign your fans would weep hopelessly
Lily’s failed clones are animated less horribly
Crow that you’re the best ‘cause your son rised to the challenge
Both you and my research incite violent reactions
Quit mourning Chloe, ‘cause now I’ve also laid you to rest
A jack of all trades about to take an Ace out the deck

Buck:
I can tell you’re bluffing away
But you gotta listen to your peers, even if they got nothing to say!
For a guy running a College, this professor’s stupid
Between your life and game, I can’t tell which has the worse resolution
You need to get your facts straight on what you think matters
Whacked your offspring because she trashed your weed whacker
After the Acorn Incident, I know a nutjob
But hey, I guess both you and your daughter were cut off!
Don’t fuck with the Buck to the Cluck
I wish my son would shut up, but at least he knows when something is up
And I’m always there to tuck him in covers
You suffocated your daughter; you’re supposed to leave her smothered with love!
Aw, what’s the matter? Hung up like the love of your life?
You’d only have a son if it was a chunk of the sky
So don’t talk ‘bout my parenting tactics
‘Cause a dad as rotten as you should be left down there with the maggots

Antonio:
That verse was just another thing meddled with by editors
What, you gonna shoehorn a pop song in your second verse?
And with dated references, this chicken’s tasteless
Call them Chicken Little, ‘cause your claims are baseless!
Neglecting Ace ‘cause you don’t wanna be seen as a fuckup
With how you’re never there for him, I should call you Buck Cuck
Keep in mind, the depths of the well are limitless,
And all it takes to fall down is One Little Slip.

Buck:
Dropping your little girl down won’t help you raise a kid
When my kid’s abducted, it’s by actual aliens!
You tried to make her scared of outsiders
But now your relationship’s at a loose end even she can’t tie up!
After the invasion, I sure know how to weave through streets
So I commend the way that both your daughters fleed the scene
How ironic for a game made by Pure Ice
That this is just the second time you’ve been burned nice

Antonio Tabacchi vs. Buck Cluck (Lily's Well vs. Chicken Little) - Disney Rap Battles!

Royal Rap Battles!
TheMonarchy as King Bob-Omb
Bucketheadking as King Pig
Beat produced by Surce
Written by Trakked, KingCorporeal, AlchemyKing
Additional help by: King Ducky
Mixer: (King) Jordy

Battle:

King Bob-Omb (0:13):
The king of kaboom has now entered the room; I expect that you soon will be met with your doom
Cuz I'm heading to you and you know that I'm ruthless, I'll use you as food at the end of this duel
I don’t know how you climbed and found my mountain but you’ll never amount to 
My legacy with all the eggs that you’re eating, try besting me and you’ll end up as a couch, fool!
(Haha!) To me, your tiny crown's a toothpick
I don’t care that you’re an heir because you’ve fared as rather useless
I'm gargantuan and flattening this wacky tacky bastard
So you better call for Leonard ‘fore I have your forces scattered

King Pig (0:40):
Pigs before made houses out of straw and wood, but that’s beneath me
No huff or puff can haul me off the roof, you can’t defeat me
Birds together tried to fight, my power’s what they’re all afraid of
I’m stronger than your metal plating, so I’ll show you what I’m made of!
Appetite like Gaston, on the track I’m a beast (snort) *
Nab his star and cash in, cause I’m covered in green! (snort) *
Now that I’m face to face with you, I simply must ask
What kind of paint did you spread on that wretched mustache?

King Bob-Omb (1:06):
Hold it, Porky; such embellished stories, I don’t give a damn
Cooking up a storm on this beat, call it Green Eggs and Ham
So listen Smooth Cheeks, we know you’re used to falling off
This awful pawn is off his rocker, while Bob-Omb calls all the shots!

King Pig (1:21):
You’re supposed to kneel to me, not.. whatever you’re doing now
Went from a boss to spin-offs, so that shows you’re losing clout
I may target infants, but I’d never throw them at foes
No wonder you’re the blasting master, all you do is blow!

King Bob-Omb (1:35):
At least I treat bob-ombs with respect. Your piggies protect you, and what do they get?
They get bruises and scratches, they’re losing their balance, you’re gnawing on eggs while they fall off the ledge! 
Constructing games out of spare parts and spinoffs no one had asked for
Now I’m dropping the mic harder than you from the App Store

King Pig (1:49):
That verse is the biggest bomb here, with the crap that you’ve laid
‘Cause your disses are like your Party board: factory-made
In a minute, I’ll be chilling with my minions, do you mind?!
So gimme your crown too, this win is MINE MINE MINE!!

King Bob-Omb vs King Pig - Rap Cypher #38

Rosenthal as Beelzebub and The King In Yellow
Writing by Rosenthal
Mixed by jordy 
Beat by SAINT-DROP
Thumbnail by Rosenthal
Special Thanks to Leo Barqui, HazelMoth, and TheMonarchy

0:00 

Rap Battles of Whatever! Beelzebub VS The King In Yellow! Begin!

Beelzebub (0:23)

Hah!

Attempt to go ahead and fuck with Beelzebub
Without sending one of your lackeys to go instead of ya!
When it comes to spreading, buddy you’ll be in second ‘cause
I got infectious bugs and plagues you’d be jealous of!
To draw followers, I mess with their brains!
While you follow them, giving schizophrenics a chase!
The time you’ve spent is a waste getting America’s faith
Don’t you know that they’re all basically already insane?!
You think you’re deadly? 
I’m getting rid of your religion when I tempt priests!
‘Cause this idiot is thinking that he’s led sheep
But your minions are fiction! You live in the abyss, bitch! Your kingdom is empty! 
I’ve aligned with false gods
But you won’t join me in Hell when you’re tied to Carcosa!
I’ll offer an octopus a name that rolls off the tongue
You’ll thank me once you’ve gotten to taste my Baal Zebub!

The King In Yellow (1:07 )

Don’t talk.
You’re a fly, how you’re giving our hopes up.
Put your lights out, your evening star goes dark
Die thou, in dim Carcosa. 
Sit and listen to the sermons. I assure, this vermin’s verses fit within the church hymns,
Your words are perfect when they serve as my disturbance
For the sin that you seem to be, you’re not fit for the evil deeds
You’re lessened to the representative of obesity.
All your followers have fallen and faded from your grasp
When you enter the battle like a plague upon the land
My face is not a mask, but I’ll stop what you had spewed
‘Cause I’d raise my palms and clap if I wanted to catch you
I’m impressed, the lord of flies can gather hordes of insects
But I’m repelled and horrified you’d rather lure in children
You’re Satan in some cases, and in others you’d oppose him.
Your name may be vague, but you’re clearly revolting

Beelzebub (1:50)

Think you’re terrifying me, shouting from your ivory towers?
You’re the ‘Yellow’ King! The prime example of the ideal coward!
No self esteem, your identity’s been disguised with your powers
‘Cause underneath, you’d be a lifeless cadaver!
I’ll raise the stakes like Salem, making flames that end your life!
Slow burn torture makes you the King in Yellow - Light!
The Streets cut you short, but I’ll arrange your fate today
And turn this patron of shepherds into a patron saint!

The King in Yellow (2:12)

You’ve yet to live up the sin of gluttony’s name now
You lack the bite, but I’ll help make you break down
You’re nauseous already, ejecting bile and spitting puke
But jaundice won’t be the only yellow signs you’re victim to
It’s fitting that your cults are all unstable
They’re tripping trying to follow a fallen angel
I rule over lost souls, your loss is no different
I’ve controlled you the second that you saw what I’ve written

Outro (2:34)

Beelzebub VS The King In Yellow - Rap Battles of Whatever

||CAST||
Rosenthal as Ultimate Chicken Horse
Shimario as Super Auto Pets

||PRODUCTION||
Written by JoJoVo

Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Beat prod. by Diamond Style
Arrangement by JoJoVo
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles

Special thanks to ThanosQuack, Leo Barqui and garbageGothic

||LYRICS||
UCH:
Lemme jump right into it, then onto that
I’ve been hoppin’ ‘round almost a decade, just talkin’ facts
And I’ve been popping off in everybody’s party packs
You’re slow as a turtle…your fans are insomniacs

Makes sense the way pets keep fainting 
You’re supposed to be engaging, not waiting, ridiculous
Time’s spent wasting away, you put the sink in asynchronous
Gameplay ain’t as innovative as you think it is

‘Cause Valve used that already
When you’re let off Steam, Imma shoot the confetti
You ready? Your pets can face the pressure together
No tryharding here, just Clever Endeavors

SAP:
Hi! Welcome to the arena!
You can work with all your friends! But you’ve never seen one
It’s clear you can’t handle the hurt, so can it
You don’t hold a candle to what the turtle’s packin’

Competitive fun, and I’m free for all!
You pit barnyard critters in a free-for-all
Food for thought: Crossbows and hockey pucks?
Freakin’ animal Hunger Games, I should call PETA

To bomb your whole track and delete it
Slaughterhouse IKEA, no assembly needed
You’re lagging behind, till you scream in the void
Pressing B’s one fate that this Team Wood avoid

UCH:
Please, think you’re spinning this? You hypocrite
You can’t coast off me or League, the hippo crits
Ditto, bitch, you got ants fighting dragons
I’ll flip your shit, throw your band off the wagon

Free to play, pay to win, buy dogs at high costs
Say bye to wallets, while my walls make lives lost
Hey, bygones, I see how you’re therapeutic
But face the music, you got saved by Ludwig

SAP:
Well at least I still got an audience
Your relevance is obvious, a shell of what embodied it
Now everyone is Partying with Animals, your show is done
Your Pandamonium just couldn’t stand the podium

So why did Ultimate Chicken Horse cross the road?
Well, all that’s shown is now it’s on death row
Because your ENTIRE crew’s about to be a small crater
Shot out of a cannon onto my new wallpaper

And YOU- Wait, what happened to the beat? It was right there

UCH:
Oops. didn’t mean to put the dynamite there
Well, I guess one last thing since the beat’s a wrap
It fits Team Wood made a bunch of SAPs

Ultimate Chicken Horse vs Super Auto Pets | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #10 (ft. Rosenthal & Shimario)

Dee as The Dealer
Rosenthal as Leshy

Written, produced and mixed by Casey

Dealer:
I suggest you come and take a seat until our game's over
Burn a couple charges, turn a shrub into a chain-smoker
Gambling with death? I can tell you're insane
I put the hell into shells, then put the shells in your brain
You're on the edge of heaven, so play consciously. 
I could off a harmless tree with eyes looking like targets to be shot between, since
I don't very often see a pompous freak
More godless than the complex that I run after I slaughtered Jesus
No need to sign, I'll pass this off as generous
You're talking with playing cards, they've got you throwing petty fits
And yet still you lack a shred of wit
Guess I'm used to playing verse those with no reason left to live

Leshy:
Hm. Please, keep the alcohol, thanks.
No need to rack your shotgun if I know it's all blanks.
Commendable courage, but can you throw me a bone, please?
I can't tell if I'm playing P03 or an emoji.
I've been making rounds with the game I've designed
You've simply been bound by the papers you've signed
You're a sacrificial squirrel with a gun
Only there to be shot, until the player is done
And you give them a briefcase, they take it and run
But you can't double or nothing, if nothing was won
So don't tell me I have no cause to go on.
You played Buckshot Roulette, and you lost the-

Dealer:
The sands of time took your following and sawed it off
I'm holding the barrel that you're crawling at the bottom of
And the club that I live in is bleak, I admit it
But I'd rather be stuck with a rust bucket than this prick
Your game was held together by flimsy locks and it broke
Looking like the Hash-Slinging Slasher but made out of oak
And now for me to seal the deal for you I didn't need a waiver
Cause the writing's on the wall now and the scales aren't in your favor

The Prospector (Leshy):
Yer' scoldin' 'bout looks, but there's no foolin' me
Feller, I can smell it from here! Thar's gold in them teeth!
The Trapper (Leshy):
You're buried in debt, and you're dredging through sin.
I don't need my knives just to get through your skin.
The Angler (Leshy):
I not amused. No gun. No fishing.
You? Must battle. With gambling addiction.
Leshy:
The deck's stacked against you, I'm afraid, so back down.
You can keep the smoke, but you're fresh out of rounds.

Dealer:
Carder stole your film then became found footage
I'll finish what he started and you'll follow in his footsteps
Let's make like Gamefuna and bury your past
'Cause you've got nothing but dirt, and I've put you on blast

Leshy:
When I'm done you'll be the second robotic nuisance
That I've tore off a new one. Though, you played your hand well
But I'm afraid that our dance is up. I bid you farewell
Come, smile for the camera, and I'll see you in hell…



The Dealer vs Leshy - Indie Game Rap Battles #4 [AUDIO]

LET 2025 COMMENCE!

RaccoonBroVA as Chase McCain
Eric the Audible as Paul Blart
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by Jacobrl99
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing and mastering by Serena
Cover art by JK03
Special thanks: JK03, TheMonarchy, garbageGothic, ThanosQuack, JoJoVo, SuperThingsOnCups

Chase McCain:
It’s Officer McCain, reporting for duty!
No useless hunk of lard is gonna breeze through me
My skills would make you brick it - trust me, I’m an expert
If you’re steppin’ to Lego, then you’ll get hurt

Even with all that junk food you lob in your gob
I’m still the bigger cop on the block
I’m no loose cannon, but I’ll be popping off shots
That’ll make you buy the farm when this hog gets the drop

But let’s go back to when you first got fired
Couldn’t cross tires cause you got tired
You got reassigned to a dying mall
That’s a sadder segue than the one you’re riding on

HQ, there’s just one precaution needed
Evacuate Honey, ‘cause he’d probably eat him
What’s your partner ever done? Try to get rich?
He only cared about the diamonds like it’s the Simms

Paul Blart:
Dispatch! Eleven-four!
I’d like to report a nuisance at the Lego store
Mister, stop paying in studs… we don’t accept those anymore
This purchase is one more thing you won’t get credit for

I get why behind the wheel, you go nuts
But Dunby won’t appreciate *those* kinds of donuts
Making wrecks ‘cause you don’t tow the line
I thought you’d handle trucks better with those loading times!

You remind me of a story I used to cry over 
It was Gamestop. Where gamers who perused the aisles
On Black Friday would lose their lives, and—
Wait a sec. He’s on the Wii U? Never mind, threat neutralized

Chase McCain:
You wanna talk games? You’d blow off your job
Even when terrorists try to bomb your mall
But don’t worry, your jokes are such awful schlock
That you’re a fossil no one would want to rob

Now I’ll hit you with a fun fact you can’t face
I’m racking up bands while you rack up band-aids
Yeah, I’d know about studs, I’m an expert with women
You’d get a ticket if there was a speed dating limit

Tryna get a second wife in your sad, pathetic life
But you’re only a “perfect match” when you keep getting strikes
You can’t keep an ex, and you can’t get your team far
No wonder she ditched you when she got her green card

Paul Blart:
And you drove your crush into witness protection
An ally for the prosecution, now left defenseless
She’s stuck working a dead end job
That fits with your prospects with her: a Red Cross

And speaking of Rex, that antagonist 
Lived up well to his name when he left you with damages
Like the boxes he rips open, you couldn’t handle it
When he delivered a right hook you couldn’t grapple with

Then you went undercover, but your bosses are ahead of you
You’re slaving for the ice cream man so you can get your scoops
But you show no remorse when you steal your prize
It’s like your police badge was the REAL disguise!

Then they chewed your story up and spat it on a cartridge
The Chase Begins? It was over ‘fore it started
Tried to keep your name afloat by riding trends
But Dimensions can’t bring this toy to life again

Paul Blart vs. Chase McCain (Lego City Undercover) - AK Rap Battles!

After a long hiatus, Snakebite126 Rap Battles of Inside Things finally gets a name change because what a fucking stupid name that is. It also comes back with a battle of epic proportions between the mystical writer, The Rap Battle Fairy, and the fecal thief, The Shit Goblin, in a battle of the FRB cryptids.

Cast:
The Rap Battle Fairy as themselves
The Shit Goblin as themselves
Mixing and Mastering - Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by Anywaywell

Lyrics:
The Rap Battle Fairy:
Looks like it’s time for me to once again take flight
As all of FRB dozes off in their dreams 
This mystical entity appears in the night
To write a verse against the one who put them all to sleep (Let’s go)
It’s the Rap Battle Fairy coming out the gate
‘Gainst a crack addict bearing tons of pounds in weight
Oh, with just a swish of the wand
I got the power to make any verse bippity bop
And while you’re screaming at your victims to start hitting the quan 
Man, your trials are just errors and I’m leaving ‘em plunged 
And is the fact that you work a job at Walmart a shock?
‘Cause from your traps and voice tapes, you’re just a bargain bin Saw

The Shit Goblin:
Fucking dies 
Now I may not be the Jizz Demon, but please start retreating or you’re really gonna get fucked
I’ll let my voice go louder, kid you don’t-don’t matter, better hope your bladder doesn’t go and splatter
‘Cause from all the living creatures that this pro’s encountered, you’re the only one I won’t be taking shit from
Bitch, what? The Shit Goblin’s hip-hoppin’ 
You’re in deep shit once I kick off, this pimp’s poppin’
You hear the night’s calling and it prompts your arrival
But my speeches will leave you dipping this call like my disciples 
You got your grand start from Pyro vs Memeulous
And yet the best verse was the only one that Felix did
You only make rounds when you have to make up a diss
But I’m more than used to fairies taking the piss

The Rap Battle Fairy:
The Piss Fairy, huh? Well those jokes were piss poor (Yeah)
When I’m taking number one, it’s the Best Writer awards
Plus I’m honestly surprised that you’d think I’d be that threatened
By Danganronpa with a scat fetish (Whoo!)
I’m so fly, your insanity’s boundless
Call Rosie to leave her son reality grounded
Poor stranger, I’m leaving you wrecked with my magic raps 
Cause a flanger is the only effect that your rapping has
As we’re battling, once you see how hard my pen game hits
This’ll be like your third trial tape, you’ll never make it
My bars get songs on playlists, so far I gotta say this
If you’re trying to make movements on the mic, I guess you’re constipated

The Shit Goblin:
Wanna beat me, bro? You need to start over
I’ve seen more appealing flow come from the Barf Ogre
You got left like my minions, stuck, enslaved and
Now you can’t escape the chains of Dustin’s basement
Yeah, I got homies in FRB that’ll clip your wings
I’m a rapper, I’m a rebel, yo it’s Shitty G
Once you’re with hit with bars so heavy like plip-plop
It’s fitting a piece of shit like yourself gets dropped
I’m a stone cold killer and I’m so conniving
You ain’t no dope winner but you’re so bold trying
The immortal, living since before your time
Whose getting sold your spirit, bitch your soul’s all mine
And the minute that you started getting deadlines
Half the scripts you rushed all ended up with dead lines
So don’t challenge me with your lame flows
This battle’s like all your other commitments - shoulda learned to say “no”

Anyways I'm leaving the community now because I am never topping this.