During my eight grade year, my English teacher’s daughter, Bethany, made many appearances in the class room. There were multiple times which she wore a shirt or jacket that read “To Write Love on Her Arms.” Seeing this multiple times, I got curious and did a quick search on Google. Little did I know this organization would make such a large impact on my life over the next few months.
	In July of that same year, a portion of my extended family was hosting a memorial softball tournament in the honor of their son, Anthony, whom had committed suicide that November. During this, I was moved to do something to help the community heal, and that something had to be big. I immediately contacted To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), and began to set up a presentation, one to be held on the one year anniversary of his death.
	Throughout the next five months, I would be in and out of meetings almost daily and before I knew it, I was walking down a desert path with Chad Moses, a man that had been working with TWLOHA for a couple of years. The next day, November 2, 2009, was packed with a few more meetings and two of the most emotional, moving presentations one could sit through.
	As he spoke, you could hear the tears. The idea that millions of people our age commit suicide every year hit hard. The memories of Anthony’s death were still fresh in the minds of many, as the death of a major figure in the community would be. With only two presentations, each about an hour long, wounds were torn open and began to heal. Addicts were taking the first steps towards recovery. Lives were being saved.
	All of this was because of the life of one woman, Renee Yohe.
	Rene’s life began in Florida. She felt disconnected and needed help from an early age. Over the next few years, she would begin to drink and self harm. When her family moved to Moscow, this would only get worse. 
Leaving her friends behind in Orlando, Renee was submerged into the unknown. Her stay, however, would not be long. After a little over a year, her condition worsened and her stay was cut short. She would quickly be reunited with her friends in Florida, and her life would be back to normal, or so she thought.
When she returned, she realized how much everyone had changed. Her friends were no longer the same people they were when she left.
Over the next few years, Renee would be on and off of many illegal substances, and in and out of psychiatric and rehabilitation facilities, and halfway houses. One day, she would meet AJ Sherril, a young pastor. AJ, Jamie Tworkowski, and others would begin to care for Renee when needed, and would spend long hours tracking her down. Over a five day period, Renee would be weaned off of drugs and stabilized enough to make it into a rehab facility. The night before she would enter, she carved “Fuck up” into her arm her blade.
To help pay for treatment, Jamie, AJ, and the others began to sell t-shirts with Renee’s story printed inside, and, on the front, read “To Write Love on Her Arms,” a plan to cover up her carvings with the greatest internal force in the universe.
When she left the rehab facility, she moved into a halfway house and would continue her recovery. Renee’s problems, however, were far from over. She would continue to carve into her body to release pain that the drugs would not. Over all of this time, Renee kept a journal and a blog, selections from each would one day be published for the world to read. The pages of “Purpose for the Pain” hold the inner workings of Renee’s mind and insights to her struggles.
Music:
1.	Himininn er að hrynja, en stjörnu - Ólafur Arnalds
Every time I hear this song, I think of how fragile life is. One wrong step, and we’re gone. Every day, Renee nearly took that step. Every time she shot up, every time she binged, she would put her life on the line to wash away her pain.
2.	Unlove - Idea(l(s))
Lost, head pounding, in need of a fix. With no one to lean on and nowhere to go, that fix is necessary. Your head must stop pounding. It’s driving you insane. You do not feel loved. You don’t feel anything but alone and the need for your drug of choice. You are lost, and you need help. Renee was lost, and she needed help.
3.	Almost There - Pedro the Lion
“Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite.” This is the start to Jamie’s story about Renee. This is the start of the movement. Pedro is her favorite, and he depicts her life well. The need for her drugs never leaves; it is always on the tip of her tongue.
4.	Eet - Regina Spektor
Every time she loses someone, she can’t move. She is there, but only physically. Her life is in chaos, and she is disconnected from it all. She tries to feel the beat.
5.	How to Save a Life - The Fray
This is the conversation Jamie and the others had with her. They were lucky, they saved her. She lived through the chaos of her life, she is a survivor, but not without work, not without many of these talks.
6.	The Way She Feels - Between The Trees and 
7.	A Time For Yohe - Between The Trees
Both of these tracks were written directly about Renee’s life. These are some of the best insights into her pain and her struggles.
8.	Skyscraper - Demi Lovato
She cannot control her pain. Renee is another statistic, and the drugs are taking her away. They are breaking everything she is. Her life has been falling apart, but soon, she will rise from the ground like a skyscraper.
9.	Gravity - Sara Bareilles
Something always brings her back to the drug. Her urge is gravity, and it continues to win. No matter what she says or does, no matter how much she tries to defy gravity, it holds onto her. No matter how long she will be sober, the urge will forever be there. She doesn’t want to fall another moment into its gravity.
10.	Everything's Not Lost - Cold Play
Her life has been far from ideal, but, despite this, she is rising above it. She is counting up her demons, putting the good on her shoulder, and throwing the rest away. She is moving closer and closer to sobriety. She is surviving without the drugs.
11.	Crazy Fishes – Bearcat
This is probably the most important of all of the tracks because Renee is Bearcat. After years of sobriety, she is up on the rise. She said that she’d be better, she said that she’d never fall again, and countless time they believed her, but now, she has. While the urge is still there, she is not spending her life in a cell, she is fighting for her freedom from the drugs and she will not let us down again.


“Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars… The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope.”
									-Renee Yohe

Himininn er að hrynja, en stjörnu - Ólafur Arnalds

Hey, heres some of my music. 

Check it out!

Overmorrow

Jestr

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