It's time once again that we spend an episode delivering advice to our listeners.  We've done this once before, and we did it so well that it tided us over for nearly 200 episodes.  Now THAT'S some goddamned advice right there.  Do we knock it out of the park again?  Wait to see if it takes us 200 more episodes to do this again to find out.

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Episode 229 - Move Over, Dear Abby

Every school child at some point learns that André Giant is the 8th Wonder of the World.  But it's rare that teachers ever go over the other seven.  This makes sense, considering how old and worn out those other seven are.  That's why this week, we're figuring out seven wonders for the modern age.  Also, Chyna is the 9th.

Episode 316 - André Is the 8th, but What Are the Other Seven?

Ever heard of the movie Fire and Ice?  Probably not.  We have plenty of silly observations about it that should satisfy you anyway.  And it's probably more entertaining than actually watching the movie, anyway.

Episode 317 - This Magical Fantasy Cartoon Is 18+ Only

Anyone who doesn't treat business like war will just end up getting killed.  Killed in business, I mean.  Although, really, probably killed in real life, too, by the greedy, bloodthirsty psychopaths who view all human endeavor as an opportunity to dominate their fellow man.  #RiseAndGrindYourFaceIntoDust

Episode 318 - Sun Tzu's The Art of the Deal

Ol' Grant's got another trick up his sleeve, whereby he disguises an old topic as a new topic, simply by putting a small spin on it.  This particular gimmick, however, I think could actually be an entire podcast series by itself, so I'm sad that this will be the only time we do it.  Unless one of my genius brothers steals this idea, puts a tiny twist on it, and uses it for a future episode.  Hint hint...

Episode 319 - One Last Ride up That Mountain

As the title says, this podcast promises to cure your scrofula, or your money back.  Ha!  Joke's on you!  You didn't pay us any money in the first place!  At all!  We make absolutely nothing whatsoever doing this!  I repeat, the joke is on you!

Episode 320 - Scrofula Cured or Your Money Back!

We bring back an oooold favorite this week, with the classic six-pack-o-pitches episode format that fans of all ages loved and adored.  They loved and adored it, dammit.  They may, and do, say otherwise, but don't listen to them.  What the hell do they know?  They're the ones who've been clamoring for its revival, according to me, so why wouldn't they love and adore it?  Also according to me?

Episode 321 - Has This Ever Happened to You?!

Over 200 episodes ago, we stole the Tournament of Nerds idea.  Did I say stole?  I mean created ourselves.  Sorry, sometimes I confuse those two phrases.  Anyway, we're bringing it back this week.  If four years seems like a short time to wait for a rehash like this, consider that I sometimes don't even wait four weeks to rehash my own topics, none of which work as well as this one.  Speaking of which, I really should have just copied and pasted here whatever I wrote for the episode four years ago.

Episode 322 - Revenge of the Tournament of Nerds

We specialize in short, snappy, memorable phrases that ensure positive associations of your brand identity within the key demographic.  That's why they call us Free Slogan Advice.  Or was it Free Marketing Advice?  Well, they sure as hell don't call us Free Naming Advice, so I think it's fine to punt on this one.

Episode 323 - The Army Corps of Sloganeers

Cory has stolen my idea.  Now, to be fair, I did basically tell him to in the description of the most recent Mount Rushmore episode.  I should use this to my advantage.  TO CORY:  From now on, you are to come up with all of my episode topics, in addition to your own.  Don't worry, it won't be very difficult.  You can just steal the ideas from me.

Episode 324 - It's Everyone's Favorite Monu-Mountain!

Here's some advice for you:  "Résumé" has the little accent mark on both of the 'e's.  Not just one, but both of them.  Not knowing this will get your résumé tossed on the "TO BE BURNED" pile, so be forewarned.  Outside of that, just wing it.  What could go wrong?

Episode 325 - Free Résumé Advice

Are you a victim of work-related ennui, melancholy or mesothelioma? Free Legal Advice Podcast is here to serve YOU!

Episode 229 - Move Over, Dear Abby

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