some soft songs i listen to at night :)

feel

IM PROBABLY GOING THROUGH IT

vibe

Jams

dandelion hands - her sinking sun (coma cinema cover)

watching for your car
waiting in the rain
has never been the same
since i went insane

i've written more suicide notes than i'd care to share
but i never followed through, i never followed through

if i jumped every time that i saw the edge
i would've never met you and fuck that scares me

'cause i'm rather familiar with hospital beds
but i'm much less familiar with words that i said
yet don't regret

screaming out fuck this abyss in the cracks of my psyche
they ask if you like me then answer a stern no in your place

watching for your car
waiting in the rain
has never been the same
since i went insane

tell me how you feel watch me fall apart
every single time no reason or rhyme

caught inside your pull and sinking at the hull
but drowning in your love has given me enough to breathe

i'll never let you slip away from my heart
i'll never fall apart i knew it from the start
i knew it from the start

cars litter the roads your hand fits in mine
happiness resides every single time

//in loving memory of what i once thought you were.

watching

Kids

Flash in pan Kardashian 
Underaged chronic tan
Fucking with my reality 
Leadership is bullshit
￼Conglomerates all crap kits
Berating my psychology 
Underage boss man 
Over paid cost man
Cutting down evergreens 
I ain’t read no syllabus 
I go homework free

Player piano, play me a chord
One that won’t make me bored 
Player piano ￼give me a chord 
All I wanna do is sing 
Fa la la la la la 
Fa la la la la la 
Fa la la la la la 

Oh to go dancing 
with Scarlett Johansson 
Would make my life complete 
We’d head to Portland 
Get hitched in a court then’
Live out life happily 
Imagination forging expectations 
Making life incomplete 
This is our history 
Written genetically 
All we wanna do is flee

Born in the Milky Way 
Buried in a corporate grave 
Headstone a cubicle wall
Postcard from paradise
Dreams all put ice
No joys in this life
Sisyphus gets no bliss
Childhood I really miss
Greed is breaking my spine

Player Piano

It's the Big Joyous Celebration, Let's Stir the Honeypot

America

joy again- necromancer

Deathconsciousness

A Quick One Before the Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
the fan beside me's humming at a steady a# 
i can just make out the note on my phone screen 

it's 6 am again and i'm still crying over things 
that i've been crying 'bout as long as you've known me 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost 

the world around us spins as we wait for it to end 
hey, guys, do you think that we could do that sooner? 

waking up's a chore, i walk the labrynth on my floor 
and realize that i'm a fucking loser 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost

winter

download <3

fan (ghost)

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
this anxiety inside of me is tiring my mind 
i can't cry or sleep or smile or eat or even try to find 
something physical or tangible to lay alone beside 
i am singing to the void again, i hum into the night 

everyday, everyday (x4) 

the way that i cope with things is unethical 
and all my clever words have been said before 
i'm just putting off the inevitable 
i am feeling more like a vegetable 

everyday, everyday (x4)

everyday

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
just know i'm sorry for it all 
i know it must be hard to hear 
i'm glad you left before the fall 
'cause i won't make it past this year 

just know i love you like a rose 
would love the thorns upon its stem 
no matter how they might have dug into my skin 
no matter how things might have ended 
i will wish for you each night, i'll wish your touch was mine again

just know i love you like a rose

Taken from debut album "Have A Spirit Filled" out on january 26 on Field Mates Records.

Pre-order (run of 50 tapes only) https://fieldmatesrecords.bandcamp.com/album/elan-noon-have-a-spirit-filled

Have A Spirit Filled

Elan Noon - Blue

when it all falls apart like a house made of cards
i will shuffle this deck 'til i fall asleep
gentle touch, brittle bones, when we talk on the phone
i exist for you, you have all of me

i'm a small speck of dust, an inanimite husk
of my former self, they are vanishing
there's a ghost in my room and it wears the perfume
that you used to wear; it's like you're next to me

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

you're a voice in my head, at the foot of my bed
like a poltergeist, drifting hauntingly
and my mind is a void, for the broken, destroyed
little parts of me, an infinity

this ache in my head makes me quake in my bed
i fixate on it, i can't fall asleep
with this whine in my ears when the silence appears
it is deafining, it is everything

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

real enough

Original Sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhap14NSHQc
https://soundcloud.com/scruffpuppie

My Funny Valentine - scruffpuppie (prod. djpeanut)

november prayer slowed

mediocre bedding - little tyrant (Scruffpuppie cover)

cigarettes after sex - apocalypse(slowed)

repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing
a lie is the most effective way to deal with
things you have no control over

keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
overanalyse every single word you hear
"was this a sign that things were going wrong"
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

stay up every single night staring at your phone
either attempting to gather up the courage to
turn these demons, these constant reminders of
your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
or praying just for one second you could feel
the warmth of equally returned love

go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
always bring your notebook, never stop writing
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
watch them smile as you get in your car

always talk down on yourself whenever possible
my life is shit because i deserve it, right?
you must have done something real bad
its nearly impossible for you to cry now

avoid your friends for weeks even though
they're the only sense of consistency you have
left in your life, if they really wanted
to see you they'd come, but they won't (who cares?)

allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the
world around you, don't fight it
become a secondary character in your own motion picture

but most importantly drown every single one of
your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to
love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your
stomach, you're drinking bottled love now

you don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
you just needed to find a way to talk to it

how to never stop being sad

how many times do I have to say why
why it never really seemed like I tried 
I ran thru the dirt and I scuffed up my shoes
I treated the wounds and I iced up my bruise
the pain this all caused made me suck up to u
so why must I wait, validate you
and pick all the trash up I kept stepping on
my brain can't take it
I'm yelling oh my god
oh my god
oh my god

Carrington Ln

lyrics:
sometimes i gotta settle down and get out
you told me everything you said we cried out
and i saw you going down the hill i chased you
tripped scraped my knee and overheard the sky blue
and i found the polaroid you took in my room
and thoughts that are overwhelming me just break through
why can't the world acknowledge anything we do
trying so hard but we never really made do

broken hearts make for good words 
but it sucks when we get hurt
i wish i was clear

sometimes we fight and scream and yell and shut up
wish i could communicate feelings boxed up
life's pain and art so i try to relate to
everything i can possibly hold onto

drugs and love
aren't enough
when i see you
my world lights up
i wish u were clear

sometimes- demo

sometimes I wonder if pat the bunny is still alive

I made this I dunno I’m gonna put some keywords here tho that may seem irrelevant 
Bright eyes
Dandelion hands
Flat sound

the nothing feels right

maybe one day, you'll feel what i've felt now

I wont run
for @vqmpi
also follow me on IG if u follow her: @mouse.ny
more music soon!

You  [NOW AVAILABLE ON SPOTIFY AND APPLE MUSIC]

Yung Dagger Dick's Album

beepboopdude - sorry if i gec 2 hard

Floral Prince

i will not mourn who i was that has gone away

AMV:
https://youtu.be/o2JUZJDqE2w

Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/track/14U4tvyTfiMBerduBQWlzz?si=12a24222215341bb

(Lyrics)

Black shoes tattoos and a choker
Nightmare, she pulls me closer
She acts so rude its over
Frostbite from your cold shoulder

Left bite marks on my shoulder
She likes guys a little bit older
Real, don't know one own her.
Hits back like daddy showed her

She looks so
Unapproachable
(I lie and say I'm sober)
(She lies and says its over)

Her eyes slit my throat
Before I even say hello
(I lie and say I'm sober)
She lies and says its over

(Before I even say hello)
Her eyes they
Slit my throat

Black shoes tattoos and a choker
Nightmare, she pulls me closer
She acts so rude its over
Frostbite from your cold shoulder

Left bite marks on my shoulder
She likes guys a little bit older
Real, don't no one own her.
She fights just like a soldier

They say that girls a demon
But inside she's got that weakness
We've been through hell, ain't leavin'
Ill sell my soul to be this

They say that girls a demon
But inside she's got that weakness
We've been through hell, ain't leavin'
Ill sell my soul to be this

Until my heart stops beatin'

Black shoes tattoos and a choker
Nightmare, she pulls me closer
She acts so rude its over
Frostbite from your cold shoulder

Left bite marks on my shoulder
She likes guys a little bit older
Real, don't know one own her.
Hits back like daddy showed her

sometimes I wonder if pat the bunny is still alive

skin carpet