“SICKO MODE - REMIX” 03’58”
Written: 11/16/18. Recorded: 11/16/18.
Vocals, lyrics: Kai
Production: BEATSTACKS
Original song: “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott featuring Drake.

lyrics:

sun is down, freezin cold
that’s how we already know, winter’s here
my dawg would probably do it for a louis belt
that’s just all he know he don’t know nothing else
i tried to show em, yeah
i tried to show em, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
dotted focus like a stick and poke
one to ten, this a zero tho

woo, made this here with none of that ice on in the booth
fucking humble here, no flexin on what type of shoes
twelve shot kids, but all the victims do the shoot
got your chick outside, but she still brag about the coupe/coop
none of this shit ever new to me
i don’t need no one to to tutor me
you ain’t a project i want to complete but you act like you’ll ever be due to me
typical ain’t ever suited me
guess i just got an immunity
young bitches on sicko mode, well i don’t need none of your lunacy
say you pulled up in the ghost, are you talking cars or writers?
say you got the pussy, is that lack of courage or vaginas?
they train you hard but you still somehow the caboose
meet/meat me here when you can show me you produce

(someone said)
to win the retreat, you all in too deep
p-p-playing for keeps, i’ll play you for weeks
to win the retreat, you all in too deep
p-p-playing for keeps, i’ll play you for weeks

well, hittas always say to me i’m not a fucking rapper to em
i be on a motherfucking beat, i beat a bag into em
men and everybody got a motherfucking swagger to em
monochromic, can i find a p-p-p-p-pattern to em
anyway, (yee)
playlist “P”, i’m on my way to find the Q/queue
you ate my eel you gotta take an IOU
light up the crowd you better scooch
how you saying goodbye? you better choose/tschuss
told her hop in, you coming too
why you feeling depressed? the skies are blue
gotta stay sad, gotta take that, gotta pay back, what you paid that 
for the Xanax, for the face tat, now you made that, now you fake that, now you baked af; fake hap
base camp, no higher than normal, that’s the truth
music like my shoelaces, playing loops
yeah that’s fruity enough, now where’s the juice?
got my juice in a cup, now where’s the food?

someone said
shawty facetimed me out the blue
someone said
pl-playing for keeps
someone said, motherfucker—someone said
i’ll play you for weeks

yeah
ay, ay
fuck it, i never could be in love
thinking i never could be enough
somebody say that you sleeping on me but i can’t sleep without smoking tree enough
looking for answers cuz i couldn’t act on Accord if i don’t have my key in em
Would Khaled still be in the spotlight if he didn’t have LED in him
Out like a light, ay, yeah, like a light
sound like shite, had a flight, made a right, cut the lights,
so what? Jesus Christ, ain’t no meaning to the lines
please believe me I see RiRi, imma eat it like panini
fucking all sounds the same, that’s what they like
check in with me, stay for the night
don’t mind the name, just listen to the rhyme,
burning up the stage, fuck it, drop the mic

SICKO MODE - REMIX

“HUSKY BRO” 02’02”’
Written: 10/01/18. Recorded: 10/02/18.
Vocals, lyrics, and production: Kai
Composition: Lil Pump
Original song: “I Love It” by Lil Pump featuring Kanye West.

I'm such a husky bro, I love it
I'm such a husky bro, I love it
I'm such a husky bro, I love it
Your pride don't even show, McLovin

Why my visa come so slow
Think I should have gone to London 
But I pulled up in the metro
Or the tram, man I don't know nothing
And you know we hit legenda
have some water have some soda
service all over the schengen 
cuz I got my plan from voda
I just got this from northeastern
ooh, rough
what's the time
I forgot to do the survey
ooh, rough
I can't fly

I'm such a husky bro, I love it
I'm such a husky bro, I love it

I'm such a husky bro
When the first time they asked you if you want sparklin or still
Why they tryna act like we were drinkin sparklin water fore we came out here
I'm such a husky b--

I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff (ruff)
I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff (ruff)
I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff (ruff)
I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff (ruff)

I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff
I like my six bucks to buy you a sick tux
cuz everything cheap here, but just a bit suss
How you start to study? The wifi slipped up
I'm a bit rough, I'm in the ISIC
I like the discounts I think it's quite sick
To Rome or Leipzig? I'm indecisive
All I know now is Prague is dumlit

I'm such a husky bro, I love it
I'm such a husky bro, I love it

HUSKY BRO

“HURRICANES” 03’49”
Written: 11/19/18. Recorded: 11/20/18. 
Vocals and lyrics: Kai, Dido
Composition: Dido
Production: Kai
Original song: “Hurricanes” by Dido.

lyrics:

so this is what you meant when you said that you hated yourself 
so this is how you feel when you tell me you're well
I feel a perfect pain, I'm happy that it rains
cuz nobody would notice me cry in a hurricane
I'm coming home but you won't know me and I won't know you
the streets will feel so different, like they're lonely too
I guess it happens for a reason, let it all work out
but every step I'm taking forward puts me further in doubt
of what I'll be tomorrow, this homegrown intoned rhapsody
stole this flow back to this soul, from two thousand and four
it's so easy to be better than me
sometimes it feels like music is just adamantly
pushing me to the limits, the Guinness, a minutes visit to illness
I'm feeling the pressure of realization to pill less, feel less,
my expectations for myself are way too high
and so I disappoint myself and then get way too high
I remember when I was twelve years old
I posted pictures of a hanging, captioned "let me go"
the school asked me to talk to the counselors, they put me in therapy
but never once did I feel there was somebody there for me
i thought I was destined to be alone, that was reality
i was already sorry for whoever counted me
a person to trust in the future,
all my lovers and friends and everyone who got too close to me were supposed to be 
family
but they ended in tears
I shut myself away from everything because I had fears
that I would hurt everybody I touched, fuck it, I'm here
but now i can't feel shit, feel shit
I wish that I could cry
I wish that I could smile
I wish that I could feel a fucking thing when you look me in my eyes
now I know the whole story's snow cones and broke bones
heartache from heartbreak in dark days
I remember feeling nothing when I (censored)
and I remember throwing up into the sink
and I had no one in my life who would say to me that everything's okay
so I said it to myself 
fucking hell, yeah, I remember
when i was losing all my friends
cuz a friend of mine tried to bring their life to an end
every single fucking person in my life wanted to leave me cuz they thought that my depression was the danger 
i would say to myself
I almost killed a person
just because of who I am
fuck, who gives a damn?
I mean nothing to the world
all this shit would still occur the same
I would rather face a hundred thousand hurricanes

HURRICANES

“BATHROOM IV: CYPHER” 03’51”
Written: 11/08/18. Recorded: 11/10/18.
Vocals, lyrics, composition, production: Kai

lyrics:

last year, some people came in
somebody damn found a way in
I don't let people in my heart
I don't let people see what I do in the dark
yeah, you might think I'm dirty
yeah, you might think I'm so damn fine
but the truth is no matter how much they get used to it
they will always try to leave me behind
no love, living bad, little sad, little mad, thinking that really my
pilly stash isn't enough, fifty gram, in a cup, dinner had
no taste to my numb lips
this a fun vacay to my tongue twists
rip me up like a party in the carribean 
all I wanna say is sorry I'm aware of being
being trampled every day when the kids come back
hearing all the complaints that the kids done had
telling people I'm as dirty as a motherfucker
I ain't want this reputation now you motherfucker
I ain't asked to be stepped on with dirty shoes
I ain't never ask for crying and your winter blues
get your shit together, people leave me, people leave you
some don't even wash hands after all the shit they do
ain't no progress in Prague residentia
I forget ya seems I got dementia I can sense ya
got me an apology
say it to my face I'm a prodigy, follow me
yall ain't see the other side of me
look at what I show, what I am: dichotomy
hope my parents can be proud of me
brain fucked up need an ice pick lobotomy
this ain't the part of me you wanna see, 
lot of me walk the streets thinking I'll never be what I wanna be
shout out to my colony, yall a G, college people gotta be pained to inflict pain onto me
honestly, am I that hard to love?
am I such a bad person people run away from?
never had a single hitta wanna love me
people wanna get close fore they cut me
I can't trust a single fucking person coming close to me
I know that I've been blocking people out, it's not supposed to be
a way to push you far away or anything, I wish that you would stay 
a little longer, but I get afraid of totally 
letting yall in, that's why I be looking nasty
spazzing so much that my voice getting raspy
yall know nothing bout the door, bout no wet floors
i be dripping 24/7, yall can get more
i was made to cater to disabled persons
that’s the reason i got nothing but a shower curtain
i could say that i done had the fucking best intentions
bitches they be fucking tweakin just to stop to mention
how much they hate me, i’m just a project,
i don’t know how to lock shit, hear them say i’m catastrophic,
rap god, supersonic, coming for you, logic,
this the type of place you sit just to start shit
i’m picking it, we gonna dick it, indicative
diggin in ticketing, villain eventually winning it
will he be really epitome of an epiphany?
who is the enemy?
enemy better be better me, meta vendetta
key, lemon amphetamines
eminem enemies, and ‘em anenomes
fuckin amenities
where the fuckin soap at?
where the fuckin toilet paper at?
where the coat rack?
kamikaze, where the wafer snacks?
where the seven dollar cheetos and eleven dollar pivos 
dobry den, motherfucker, where the spatna bitches at
Hittin Epic four times in a fortnight
haven't even slept forty minutes in the four nights,
taking four flights, I'll be forthright: you a sore sight when you cast away the little of your foresight
I don't blame your short sight, I am on the short side
but the knowledge in my mind cancels out my short height
cuz the more right isn't more right, they just more white
I open the news, you open a porn site
yeah, fine me, I know you finna
me and my mind, we got a difference in us
me and your kind, we got a difference in US
we polarize the nation, ain't no winna
this ain't a hill we gotta climb with jonah
I may be a fucking bathroom but I got persona
no one ever wanna love me I got corona
look, we got some bank so we could both be loners/loaners

BATHROOM IV: CYPHER

“A GOTHIC CHRISTMAS” 03’21”
Written: 11/24/18. Recorded: 11/24/18.
Vocals, production: Kai
Composition, lyrics: Judy Garland / Frank Sinatra
Samples: “Have Yourself A Merry Christmas” by Judy Garland.

lyrics:

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, your troubles will be out of sight

Until the skies are darkened
The lights will never shine
Wish me a Merry Christmas
Snow falls and I will die

Santa, help me bleed to death
I can't escape this broken head
I think our minds are there to kill us
Wish me luck and Merry Christmas

So take me now
Merry Christmas
So take me now
What a Merry Christmas

Tomorrow, I'll be there
Where nothing can be bad
It's Christmas every day
I miss you anyway

A GOTHIC CHRISTMAS

“OUT IN THE WORLD” 04’26”
Written: 11/01/18. Recorded: 11/28/18.
Vocals: Kai
Electric Guitar: Steve Prinz
Lyrics, composition, production: Kai

lyrics:

oh you can feel it
inside your conscience
oh you can see it
when you go out there in the world
oh you can feel it
uh oh

call it parliamentary with a side of golden smoke
gather all your people and we eating artichoke
do we care about our citizens do we care about the globe?
i don’t know, i don’t know
falling for your eyes, i got somewhere to be
i got picture perfect Saturdays coming to me
i’ll be cruising down the avenue at seventy three
had that number on my back since 2016
i might be losing myself
i might be speeding too fast
i might be ninety nine percent insignificant fact
but then this music is my memory
this is how you should remember me
well i suppose that i could make a little difference in your life
in the end it doesn’t matter till i see what’s after mine
say to death i have a message for him
tell him that i want to be surprised

say I want her
say I want her

OUT IN THE WORLD (ft. Steve Prinz)

“BATHROOM V: TOTO’S CODA” 05’53”
Written: 11/17-29/18. Recorded: 11/25-28/18.
Vocals, composition, production, lyrics: Kai

lyrics:

this is a note to myself, i’ve been feeling so low
i got this drink in a cup, cuz i’m going solo
i’m fucking hazy yeah i’m crazy in a purple polo
we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto
play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though
doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho
promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo
we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto

here we go
promise you ain’t nothing better 
this an open letter, we’ll wear it like Hester
the question of whether/weather a person be fresher
but fresher is relative; bad way to measure
in rapping today it’s not who is more clever;
it’s who got more treasure, in money, whatever
it’s who’s bank is deader, who rich and who debtor
they put in no effort i’m sick of this tether
to flexers, i’m vomiting mama’s spaghetti 
all over my sweater, repenting my honesty
all i remember is lyrical pleasure
now lesser is better and nobody ever
would give a shit about a brotha 
tryna open up and tell the little motherfuckers
i be on it way back, this is payback
wish i didn’t say that cuz i’m laid back
oh no, i
need to sit down, need to sit down, yeah
saw your bitch now, saw your bitch now, yeah
fuckin lit now, fucking lit now, yeah
suck a dick now, suck a dick now,

play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though
doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho
promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo
we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto

[verse 2]
ain't no washed up Kohler
ain't no Sace, Goyard
Don't just tell me no like Stanford and Elena Soler
sipping henney soda
wake me when I'm sober
thought you finished me? well you ain't even at the coda

play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though
doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho
promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo
we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto

[outro]
i know you say that you’re happy
but no one knows what is happening but you
tell me what is the truth
no one knows what is happening with you
you always talk to yourself and
ignore the people around you, it’s true
so if you wanted to sell
you know you’re a top brand but we need the truth

[coda]
it’s true
i feel my voice fading away
now, my dear
don’t let me fade
26 years young
don’t lie to me now
you went too soon
i’m sorry
i’m home

BATHROOM V: TOTO'S CODA

“BATHROOM II: CESKY KRUMLOV” 04’39”
Written: 11/03/18. Recorded: 11/27-30/18.
Vocals: Kai, Ava Nordling
Guitar: Dominic Pastorelle
Lyrics, composition, production: Kai

lyrics - 

i’m out here with a bathroom cleaner than what I had before
here the ground is dry, the shower’s fine, and everything seems better
but there’s something that i’m missing from this floor
i guess with home and somewhere else, it’s either or
being away from my family, i’ve had to look for myself
being away from my friends, i feel i’ve lost my good health
my mind is falling apart, i feel a hole in my heart
and sometimes i feel like i just got nobody to tell
it’s not like home is perfect or anything, i fight with my friends
i have these traumatizing memories still stuck in my head
it’s like the bathroom in my dorm, shit gets wetter than wet
but every time i return, i feel less lonely again
i guess it’s good that i can put my pants on comfortably
in this hotel room, out some place that i can never be seen
i feel forgotten in this new foreign life
but maybe it’s not worth remembering kai

and so i lost me
in this late november rain
and you forgot me
you forgot our love and pain
i live through phone calls
my face is fading from your brain
i’m in my bath stall
i only wash myself and pray

i hope you’re happy

let's pretend that I never left
let's be friends that never forget
what's here in my heart is a meaningful longing
I wish I could regain this sense of belonging
and now this toilets unfamiliar
the showerhead's peculiar
not like the one at home is better;
but I've never cried here before
sometimes life will pull you onwards and you're not able to stop
I feel like time is feeling somber, pulling faster just to block
out the emotion (yeah, yeah)
I want to block out the emotion (yeah, yeah)
I squeeze my hand to see if I feel it
the grounds not dirty, I don't have to deal with it
nothing means much anymore 
I can step on this bathroom floor
something feels like I won't ever get to see you the same
when I look in the mirror, I've ceased to know my own face

and so i lost me
in this late november rain
and you forgot me
you forgot our love and pain
i live through phone calls
my face is fading from your brain
i’m in my bath stall
i only wash myself and pray

you said you lost me
in this late November rain
I said I'm sorry
and then you saw me cry again
i live through phone calls
don't have reception in this place 
I'm in my bath stall
I only wash myself and pray

i hope you’re happy

and so I lost me
(in this late November rain)
I said I'm sorry
(and then you saw me cry again)
if you forgot me
(something easy to forget)
let's get some coffee
(let's pretend we never met)

BATHROOM II: CESKY KRUMLOV (ft. Ava Nordling)

“ALMOST OVER” 03’54”
Written: 11/07-15/18. Recorded: 12/03/18.
Vocals: Kai, Dominic Pastorelle
Lyrics, composition, production: Kai

lyrics-

do you ever feel like you're disappearing
do you ever wish you could go back in time
before all this happened
before I was gone
and i’ve let go for so long
when I reach back, youll be gone
before all this happened
if I never left you
would I be coming home to your smile again
so tell me it's okay
tell me it's okay
tell me it's okay
yeah
and i wish love
can be my friend
I wish I could love myself
so I 
can wait a little longer
hold on to me
could I be forever?
I don't want to hurt you
but I don't want to die before I see you again
I miss my reflection
I'm losing my mind and
i feel a little lonely even with friends
now I'm coming home
but I don't even recognize your face 
where did all my memories go?
I don't know if I know this empty place
it's almost over
almost now
do you ever feel like you're disappearing?
do you ever wish you could go back in time
before all this happened
before I was gone
did you ever wish you could see me again?
and I've let go for so long
when I get back you'll be gone
before all this happened
if I never left you
would I be coming home to your smile again?

it's almost over

I’m scared to talk to myself
I feel a little anxious facing myself
I think I’m paranoid anyway
I’m sorry for any pain I caused

it's almost over
it's over

ALMOST OVER (ft. Dominic Pastorelle)

“SAME STARS” 04’17”
Written: 12/01-03/18. Recorded: 12/04/18.
Vocals: Kai, Alex Koban-Hogue
Lyrics, production, composition: Kai
Samples: “Stronger” by Kanye West.

lyrics - 

they say to reach for the stars and
just follow your hearts and
that's somewhere to start, just
believe who you are 
maybe I'm overreacting
or overly acting
like nothing is gone
side by side
we'll work it out, now
night by night
light by light
the stars come out now 
is anyone out there?

it doesn't really even matter where the time goes
I guess things just seem better with my eyes closed
I feel important only for a split second, then forgotten like those broken animations on slideshows
and some nights I wish I slipped into a comatose
some nights I'm passing out in my formal clothes
drown three melatonins in a Spanish drink
well that's two too much, that's an overdose (over dos)
we don't see the same streets since I moved out here
we don't see the same sun, same blue cloud tears
when you say goodnight and fall asleep I know your pretty eyes are closing
drowsily but still the sky's blue out here
everything changed, we live in different worlds now
it's been forever since I heard you say my name
when we played pool, in my head, that's a whirl now
remember the stars we're under stay the same
so when you look up at the thousand shining lights
know I'll try to find the same ones too
we keep holding on through the same stars
as for blankets, they're the same ones soon
for a minute, i can see your face in front of me
saying everything will be alright
and when you disappear, know my mind was blundering
I wish you could stay here all night

we all different, we don’t know what the difference is
we don’t need to wear stars to tell the differences
we don’t need discrimination of our images
we all living happy endings in our villages
we’ll all be the same stars in our cinema skies
shining bright through the glass, what a crystally night
we’ll all be the same stars to the innocent eye
we all got the same superhero in us and I
I wanna tell you bout a story that you’re finishing
where the confidence inside you is diminishing
you got a monster deep inside, you gotta kill and shit
before the thought can finish you, you gotta finish it
look, I promise that you'll get stronger
decide if West or Clarkson
I need you to get the czech/check, mate
I dine with Magnus Carlsen
They drive me up into the city now
But I can't wait for Carmen
To someone out there, you're a star now
You'll never get more Martian

they say to reach for the stars and
just follow your hearts and
that's somewhere to start, just
believe who you are 
maybe I'm overreacting
or overly acting
like nothing is gone
side by side
we'll work it out, now
night by night
we’ll work it out, now
light by light
the stars come out now 
is anyone out there?
is anyone out there?

SAME STARS (ft. Alex Koban-Hogue)

“DESTINY” 05’27”
Written: 11/12-25/18. Recorded: 12/3-11/18
Vocals: Kai, Adamo, Julia Smith
Lyrics, composition, production: Kai

so what?
i can’t be heaven for you
that’s just the truth
you said let it go,
i’ll be right here beside you
yeah
lost in the world
can’t let you go
i find myself dreaming of
blues in bohemia
yeah

i feel you slipping away from my life
but i can’t imagine me alone, yeah, yeah, yeah
so come here and dance with me slow, yeah, yeah, yeah

cuz you are the best of me, my destiny
don't push me out of here, I'll rest in peace
in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah
here in your soul

for you, I'd do anything, just call my name
I wish we were stuck in time, to be the same
don't fade away, yeah, yeah, yeah
don't be afraid, yeah, yeah, yeah

but I still love you

i feel you slipping away from my life
but i can’t imagine me alone, yeah, yeah, yeah
so come here and dance with me slow, yeah, yeah, yeah

cuz you are the best of me, my destiny
don't push me out of here, I'll rest in peace
in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah
here in your soul

afraid I'll forever be in misery
afraid I'll be nothing but a figurine
a figure I broke, yeah, yeah, yeah
in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah

but you'd never notice me, this side of me
why can't I stop hurting, both you and me?
cuz you let me go, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, you let this go, yeah, yeah, yeah
and you’d never dance with me, i’m ugly
i’m just too selfishly consumed by me
cuz i can’t let go, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, i can’t let go, yeah, yeah, yeah

but I still love you

trdelnik

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