A return to watch the grass grow out the cracks of the beauty in the ruins. 

Cello and nostalgia: https://soundcloud.com/quantumme/sets/what-if-i-wont
Is it love songs: https://soundcloud.com/quantumme/sets/love-songs
Oxford Revisited: https://soundcloud.com/quantumme/sets/oxford-revisited
to have & to hold: https://soundcloud.com/quantumme/sets/to-have-to-hold

Beauty in the Ruins IX

Lucia di Lammermoor

You're Gonna Look Good In Blue

La mort est un jardin sauvage

Dans mon cahier (La musique me glisse entre les doigts)

Download

Elias - Thinking Of You (Cammora Remix)

Supergirl (Original Mix)

“HURRICANES” 03’49”
Written: 11/19/18. Recorded: 11/20/18. 
Vocals and lyrics: Kai, Dido
Composition: Dido
Production: Kai
Original song: “Hurricanes” by Dido.

lyrics:

so this is what you meant when you said that you hated yourself 
so this is how you feel when you tell me you're well
I feel a perfect pain, I'm happy that it rains
cuz nobody would notice me cry in a hurricane
I'm coming home but you won't know me and I won't know you
the streets will feel so different, like they're lonely too
I guess it happens for a reason, let it all work out
but every step I'm taking forward puts me further in doubt
of what I'll be tomorrow, this homegrown intoned rhapsody
stole this flow back to this soul, from two thousand and four
it's so easy to be better than me
sometimes it feels like music is just adamantly
pushing me to the limits, the Guinness, a minutes visit to illness
I'm feeling the pressure of realization to pill less, feel less,
my expectations for myself are way too high
and so I disappoint myself and then get way too high
I remember when I was twelve years old
I posted pictures of a hanging, captioned "let me go"
the school asked me to talk to the counselors, they put me in therapy
but never once did I feel there was somebody there for me
i thought I was destined to be alone, that was reality
i was already sorry for whoever counted me
a person to trust in the future,
all my lovers and friends and everyone who got too close to me were supposed to be 
family
but they ended in tears
I shut myself away from everything because I had fears
that I would hurt everybody I touched, fuck it, I'm here
but now i can't feel shit, feel shit
I wish that I could cry
I wish that I could smile
I wish that I could feel a fucking thing when you look me in my eyes
now I know the whole story's snow cones and broke bones
heartache from heartbreak in dark days
I remember feeling nothing when I (censored)
and I remember throwing up into the sink
and I had no one in my life who would say to me that everything's okay
so I said it to myself 
fucking hell, yeah, I remember
when i was losing all my friends
cuz a friend of mine tried to bring their life to an end
every single fucking person in my life wanted to leave me cuz they thought that my depression was the danger 
i would say to myself
I almost killed a person
just because of who I am
fuck, who gives a damn?
I mean nothing to the world
all this shit would still occur the same
I would rather face a hundred thousand hurricanes

HURRICANES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU9gSF0ApSg

Ash - Give A Little (feat. Naila)

An acoustic cover of The Villagers cover of The Wonder of You featured in HBO's Big Little Lies

HURRICANES

trdelnik

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