Your health journey is all your own.  I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

Several things made me think about this topic.  I recently was talking about my friend Amy.  She died almost exactly a year before I got my diagnosis of Pulmonary Fibrosis.  She was waiting for her lung transplant and when she passed she was a frail shadow of herself.  Also, my mom died with complications of several of the autoimmune diseases that I have.  

It's so easy -- especially when we have a difficult or unfamiliar diagnosis, to lean on Dr Google, or other peoples' experiences and let those things coopt our imagination about our illness and I think that can have some disastrous and unintended consequences.  

The Google will tell you that my life expectancy is 3 - 5 years.  Well, here I am 9 years later.  While many things COULD have led to my demise -- but tuning that out and walking my own path has been crucial.  As a reforming people pleaser, as someone who values information, it's easy to be captivated by the stories people share about anyone they know who may have had something similar to what I have, how that's gone, what's worked, what remedies they've tried.

Sometimes, hearing those stories can contribute to the sense that I'm doing it wrong, or add to the sense that "this is going poorly and I've already made the wrong decisions."

Having done this for a while and having learned how to BE EMBODIED in this experienced: doing body scans, checking in with my thoughts and feelings, knowing when something's changed.  I'm the best person to asses what's going well and when it's time to make a change.  No, it isn't fun, it takes a lot of effort to tune in like that, to advocate for myself, to coordinate with my docs and insurance companies, but it's the only way to take control of my health.

When I start thinking "well, she said that by this time next year things got really bad..." then I'm initiating a slew of chemicals that will lead to anxiety, fear, pain, or being addicted to my own catastrophes.  Perhaps those things will happen, but perhaps they won't.  But, the only guarantee is that I've robbed myself of this present moment.

The idea of suffering is terrifying.  I'm not trying to pretend it isn't.  There is fear and anguish.  But there are tools.  Whether it starts with a contemplative practice, journaling, or noticing what's happening to find a skilled therapist.  There are ways to keep my fear of the future from enjoying the present.  This journey is YOURS ALONE, from the small to the large.  But no amount of today is improved by me fixating on how bad it's going to get.

Notice when you get hooked, when you start to borrow trouble.  If you don't have tools, skills, or support about making change in that area, it might be time to get some.

Let us know how you're making your journey your own.

This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast.  I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness. 
 
Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Episode 405: Your Health Journey Is All Your Own

Can setting boundaries be life-saving? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

You know that I'm a big fan of Dr Gabor Mate.  His book, "When the Body Says, 'No'" is a big part of why I'm still ALIVE today.  That's a big claim and I really mean it.  His work has transformed my life.  If you've had cancer or an autoimmune disease, get this book.  He talks about how our personalities, our family structures, our emotional tendencies, and our background have likely contributed to our illnesses.  While this is not about blame, it is about getting to root causes and, therefore, solutions.

When we are back in the drivers seat, we can make different decisions.

The job of our emotional system is to help us self-regulate and to allow in all that is nurturing, generative, healthy, and loving.  It is also designed to keep out all that is harmful, toxic, and poisonous.  He draws a parallel between our emotional system and our immune system which fundamentally does the same job to keep in all that is nurishing, nurturing, feeds growth, and to keep out all that is toxic, harmful, poisonous, and leads to cell damage/demise.

For those of us with chronic illnesses learning to set boundaries is a necessity. Self-care means learning to prioritize our self and in doing so, we have to set boundaries.  In Gabor Mate's new book "The Myth of Normal," he has an activity about what keeps us from setting the boundaries we need to set/want to set in our life.

The more often we examine, work our way through this activity, the greater potential for change we are given.  It is four questions for us to respond to:
1) Where in your life are you not setting a boundary?
2) What is your belief behind not saying "no?"
3) Where did I learn this belief?
4) Who would I be without this belief?

The illusions we hold about why we stay stuck have an opportunity to fall away.  Boundary work is self-care.  We'll keep talking a bit more about boundaries and chronic illness.

Here's my challenge: brag on yourself!  How are you setting boundaries?  What did you learn from this activity?  When did you say "no?" or any other aspect of boundary setting?

Because when we are sick and have any bit of the disease to please, setting boundaries for our own self-care is really challenging.  So tell us all about it!

Episode 406: Boundaries And Illness

Are you one of the millions living with a chronic illness or pain?  Our diseases may be very different, but we have many of the same experiences, obstacles and frustrations.   We are all working for a better quality of life knowing that pain and limitations will be our traveling companions.  My name is Annette and I'm the host of Chronic Wellness, a brief, weekly, podcast where we talk about it all: sex, self-care, mental heath, loss of identity, anger, how to navigate health care and have less days that suck so hard.

I have this belief that: If health is the absence of disease, and wellness is the presence of wholeness;  whether or not I'm ever "healthy" again, I can work work toward my wellness, my wholeness.  

Curious?  Join me where you listen to Podcasts, for a few moments of Chronic Wellness.

Episode 406: Boundaries And Illness

Chronic Wellness

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