featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

beamer passenger side
its nice to look in your eyes
I missed your face when you lie

she think I'm cute when I sigh
heard you with a new guy
so why you binging my line
guess you think about me sometimes

you still wear my shirts in your bed
I know that fuck with your head
all the blood that I bled 
and all the shit that you said

I can't sleep at night
when I know your right
fucked around and went cold
I could be the hand that you hold
but I've been trying not to fold

fuck me up again
with the texts you send
I can tell you aint grown
imma stay here alone
from what I've learned and I know

beamer passenger side
its nice to look in your eyes
I missed your face when you lie

and how does it feel
to be, what you've become
what you said you would never be
cause I don't feel anything, anymore
so take me away

youth (santana)

Lyrics:

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

nauseous (apc)

[not home.]
Oversized t shirts
Ripped blue jeans
The moonlight follows
Under dark grey trees
I’ll be gone by tommorow
Smoke staining my teeth
My insides rotting
From the emotion underneath
She loves when i smile
She hates when i breathe
Baby i get it
It’s hard to love me

[skele]
Is it hard for you
To love me?
Begging you please
Don’t leave
Is it too much
To let me breathe?
Empty bottles
Cold sheets

gone

not home. - gone w skele

[yung cray]:

you say that I need help
idk how to reach out
the voices in my head they get too loud
but can you really turn my life around?

and I promise I will call you back when the time is right
but right now nothings going my way and I'm stuck inside my head
and I’m a poltergeist walk thru the night, the days here I am scared
and I don't wanna fix myself I lay up in my grave and rest


you say that I need help
idk how to reach out
the voices in my head they get too loud
but can you really turn my life around?

[safeatlast]:

i try my best to conquer my fears
but i get depressed by all of my peers
i cant stand to look in the mirror
cuz everytime i do im reminded bout the fact that ur not-

breathing
not been good at succeeding
why am i never leading

...the war against myself
im trapped in someone elses shell
how could i ever end up well

leaving
the place i reside is deceiving
... can i be somewhere else

[yung cray]:


you say that I need help
idk how to reach out
the voices in my head they get too loud
but can you really turn my life around?

and I promise I will call you back when the time is right
but right now nothings going my way and I'm stuck inside my head
and I’m a poltergeist walk thru the night, the days here I am scared
and I don't wanna fix myself I lay up in my grave and rest


you say that I need help
idk how to reach out
the voices in my head they get too loud
but can you really turn my life around?

deceiving ft. yungcray

SuperStar

sad freestyle over sad beat.

lyrics:

she fills my sheets with lusting me, why do i even try, the words i spoke,
and notes i wrote, why cant i?

why do i even try. [xy1va]

Official Video

Dead Can't Love (Ft. YvngCrow) [Prod. Blade901]

emo with 808's
for business inquires contact ilyaidxnofficial@gmail.com
i just make music and stuff

why do i even try. [xy1va]

ilyaidxn!

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