The Arms Race Podcast: Season 8

Seasons one through four of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast.

The Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast: Seasons 1-4

The Arms Race Podcast: Season 5

The Arms Race Podcast: Season 6

The Arms Race Podcast: Season 7

The Arms Race Podcast is still hanging around, and now we're here for our summit on the 1993 action film, Cliffhanger!

Arms Race Podcast

Episode 77 - Pride and Precipice (Cliffhanger)

The Arms Race Podcast discusses a movie about bootlegging, and it turns out to be a bootleg Godfather movie in and of itself: it's 1975's Capone!

Episode 78 - The Mob Squad (Capone)

The Arms Race Podcast discusses the epic conclusion to the Escape Plan trilogy: Escape Plan: The Extractors!

Episode 79 - Geezer Teaser (Escape Plan: The Extractors)

The Arms Race Podcast returns from an impromptu hiatus to discuss 2015's Creed!

Episode 80 - DJ Dunkin' McHush (Creed)

The Arms Race Podcast returns to discuss Rocky IV: Rocky vs. Drago!

Bonus - Stallone vs. Sico (Rocky IV - Director's Cut)

The Arms Race Podcast comes out of retirement to discuss the 2013 comedy, Grudge Match!

Episode 81 - Better Late Than Never (Grudge Match)

It's that time of year again for the Arms Race Podcast's annual comeback episode, as we discuss the 2021 film, The Suicide Squad!

Episode 82 - Shark Sandwich (The Suicide Squad)

The Arms Race Podcast comes around for another lap to discuss the 2001 racing movie, Driven!

Episode 83 - Suspension of Disbelief (Driven)

The Arms Race Podcast discusses the fifth and final Rambo film: Rambo: Last Blood!

Episode 84 - Finish Him (Rambo: Last Blood)

The Arms Race Podcast discusses the 2022 direct-to-Amazon superhero film, Samaritan!

Episode 85 - Putting the Hammer Down (Samaritan)

Originally posted 11/18/2015

Hey, do you want to be a farmer? Well here's a couple of wise-acres talking about Last Action Hero! On the very first episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, we speculate about the cause of Last Action Hero's financial failure, discuss the surprisingly-high body count of one of Arnold's most kid-friendly vehicles, debate Laurence Olivier's effectiveness as a Polaroid spokesman, and take full credit for Charles Dance's entire career.

Bad Puns & Machine Guns

Episode 1 - Big Mistake? (Last Action Hero)

Originally posted 12/2/2015

Don't touch that dial, we're back for another episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast! We haven't been podcasting long, but we're quick learners, and we're here to give the people what we think they want: our conversation about The Running Man. In this episode we try to make sense of the ever-shifting rules of the most popular television program in history, attempt to determine the mathematical relationship between sub-zero and plain zero, and discuss other heavy objects that Arnold might carry over his shoulder.

Episode 2 - The Great Grappling Governors (The Running Man)

Originally posted 12/16/2015

Nature and nurture are on a deadly collision course in the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss Twins, Hollywood's most feel-good take on the subject of eugenics yet. In this episode we discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's abilities as a comedic actor, marvel at the movie's similarities with 1988's Best Picture winner, and offer up our own rules for crisis situations everywhere.

Episode 3 - A Mixture of Action Und Comedy (Twins)

Originally posted 12/30/2015

Alright everyone, chill... the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast is here! Tonight's forecast: we turn our icy gaze towards the Dark Knight's most lighthearted romp, Batman & Robin! Mike and Kevin examine Hollywood's polar-opposite approach to comic book movies in the 90s, give the cold shoulder to Alfred's choice in computer passwords, and examine the chilling year in film that was 1997, all while enduring a veritable avalanche of puns.

Episode 4 - We Just Killed the Franchise (Batman & Robin)

Originally posted 1/13/2016

Listen all of y'all, it's another episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast! Join us as we discuss Sabotage, a movie that asks: whodunit, and who cares? In this episode. Mike and Kevin attempt to make sense of one of the most senseless film in Arnold Schwarzenegger's filmography, ponder the effectiveness of the Sacagawea dollar as a death threat, and contemplate Arnold's most nefarious foe yet: Microsoft Excel.

Episode 5 - Forty-Eight Percent (Sabotage)

Originally posted 2/10/2016

The latest episode of the Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast is here! Today we take a look at Eraser, the film which caused Arnold Schwarzenegger's movie career to vanish before our very eyes. In this episode we discuss Hollywood's naive depiction of terrorism in 1996, marvel at the ineptitude of the Warner Brothers legal department, witness the arrival of film's CGI revolution in the form of some very poorly-animated alligators, and take an extremely deep dive into the very self-congratulatory IMDB biography of one of Eraser's most bit-part actors.

Episode 7 - The Wrath of Caan (Eraser)

Originally posted 5/18/2016

The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast returns for its brand new season by letting off some steam about Commando! On this episode, Mike and Kevin discuss the movie that set the template for many Schwarzenegger movies to come, pitch a Weekend at Bernie's sequel that never was, speculate about the nutritional content of Jenny's mystery sandwiches, and debate the usefulness of Speedos in combat situations.

Episode 9 - The Look of Chainmail, The Comfort of Macrame (Commando)

Originally posted 6/1/2016

The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast completes its trilogy of rain-forest revenge tales with our discussion about Collateral Damage! In this episode we draw comparisons with Arnold's prior excursions south of the border, examine the implications of releasing a movie about terrorism five months after 9/11, and speculate about the contents of terrorists' junk drawers, all while struggling to recall the details of one of Arnold's least memorable films.

Episode 10 - El Gringo Grande (Collateral Damage)

Originally posted 6/15/2016

The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast is back to discuss Maggie, the movie that dragged Little Miss Sunshine down into the darkness. In this episode we witness Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting career rise from its grave, discuss the similarities between Schwarzenegger's and Stallone's careers in 2015, and speculate about the usefulness of Columbo's detective skills in a zombie apocalypse.

Episode 11 - Pushing Up Daisies (Maggie)

Originally posted 6/29/2016

Verhoeven a wonderful time on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast! Join us as we discuss Total Recall, the movie that finally proves the adage that if you don't stop making that face, it's going to stick. Mike and Kevin discuss the similarities between Johnny Cab and Siri, speculate about the details of the Rekall Corporation's alternative travel packages, and decide what is and is not an appropriate time for corn flakes, all while trying to avoid getting distracted by repeated sidebars about NBA basketball. Mars! It's FANtastic!

Episode 12 - Hauser? I Hardly Richter! (Total Recall)

Originally posted 11/2/2016

The Cold War heats up in the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast as we discuss Red Heat, the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where destruction is always mutually assured. In this episode, Mike and Kevin give a local perspective on Red Heat's depiction of Chicago, marvel at CPD's casual attitude towards their Soviet interlopers, learn about the nefarious crime of currency speculation, and scratch their heads over the state of motel pornography in the 1980s.

Episode 18 - A Game of Chicken Kiev (Red Heat)

Originally posted 12/28/2016

We're partying like it's 1999 on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, and we're ringing in the new year with the cinematic apocalypse known as End of Days! On this episode Mike and Kevin note the suspicious parallels between this movie and its contemporaries, discuss the deep cultural divide between flashlight people and candle people, reminisce about the Y2K apocalypse that never was, and wage an eternal battle with the operating system from hell.

Episode 22 - Byrne Baby Byrne (End of Days)

Originally posted 1/11/2017

What is best in life? The latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast! It is we, Arnold's chroniclers, who alone can tell you about the sword-and-sorcery classic, Conan the Barbarian! On this episode, Mike and Kevin question the quality of Thulsa Doom's personnel decisions, wonder about the Wheel of Pain franchising rights, bust out their utterly flawless James Earl Jones impressions, and look to John Milius and Oliver Stone for some post-election political healing.

Episode 23 - Snakes on a Plain (Conan the Barbarian)

Originally posted 3/22/2017

Hunting season opens again on the latest episode of the Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss yet another Arnold-less sequel to one of his classic films: Predator 2! In this episode, we question the wisdom of casting Danny Glover as a futuristic super-cop, examine the superstitions surrounding spilled cocaine, check Adam Baldwin for a pulse, and wonder if our replacement-level Predator is ready for the big leagues.

Bonus -  King Willie Style (Predator 2)

Originally posted 5/31/2017

We're telling nothing but the truth on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, and we're extending our invitation to join us as we discuss True Lies! On this episode, we attempt to deconstruct the French origins of this American action classic, draw a distinction between bad guys and "bad" guys, observe the age-old conflict between technology and horse, and try to determine which fictional spy Harry Tasker most resembles: James Bond, or James Bond Jr.?

Episode 28 - Tango & Cache (True Lies)

Originally posted 6/14/2017

We're beside ourselves with joy on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's cloning opus, The 6th Day! On this episode, sooner than you think, Mike and Kevin will discuss a near-future filled with a variety of horrific abominations, such as cloned pets, reluctant self-driving cars, laser light shows, mall monorails, demonic dolls, remote-controlled aircraft, remote-controlled dogs, nacho bananas, futuristic pagers, jelly monsters, purple bob haircuts, and the most ghastly abomination of them all: the XFL.

Episode 29 - Eighty-Four Percent (The 6th Day)

Originally posted 7/26/2017

The future is here on the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we terminate our fourth and final season with our in-depth discussion of Terminator Genisys! On this episode, Mike and Kevin enjoy the ride as the franchise launches itself off the deep end, wonder whether a Terminator would make for a model employee, rank their favorite John Connors from worst to first, and take one last deep dive into the ever-expanding madness of the Terminator timeline, all before finally crossing their podcast finish line once and for all.

Episode 32 - Pops' Secret (Terminator Genisys)

Originally posted 10/18/2017

The Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast returns from their hiatus to discuss the new "Arnold Schwarzenegger movie", Killing Gunther.

Discussing Killing Gunther

We're back to announce our new podcast: The Arms Race! In this continuation-slash-rebranding of Bad Puns and Machine Guns, Mike and Kevin will attempt to determine which action star has the highest body count in movie history. Our first step: watching every Sylvester Stallone movie one at a time.

Nothing Is Over! -- An Announcement

The Arms Race Podcast reawakens from its cryo-sleep to cover the first in our series of Sylvester Stallone movies: Demolition Man! In this episode Mike and Kevin discuss Wesley Snipes' bravura performance as Simon Phoenix, highlight the moral hypocrisies of Denis Leary, speculate about how the three seashells may or may not work, and iron out the kinks in their new library of mini-tunes (you call them segment bumpers). Simon says: take a listen!

Episode 36 - It's a Brave New World (Demolition Man)

The Arms Race podcast returns to discuss a movie as tone-deaf as its lead actor: Rhinestone! In this episode, Mike and Kevin try to refrain from becoming downbeat as they decide whether this film strikes a minor chord, utilize a measure of creativity as they pitch some alternative story lines, make overtures towards some great background actors of old, and finally recite a chorus of praise for the happiest Dolly-Parton-themed place on earth.

The Arms Race Podcast

Episode 37 - Bland Ole Opry (Rhinestone)

We'll cop to being excited, here at the Arms Race podcast, to discuss the 1997 police drama Cop Land! On this episode, Mike and Kevin navigate their way through the movie's dense plot, try to make sense of New York jurisdictions, criticize Joey Randone's gambling strategies, and devise a new game show which dares to ask: are there any East Coast actors who haven't appeared in a Scorsese movie or in an episode of the Sopranos?

Episode 38 - Fat Blue Line (Cop Land)

The Arms Race hits the road as we take a look at the fourth in our series on Sylvester Stallone movies, Death Race 2000! In this episode Mike and Kevin examine the merits of this cult classic's satire, try their best to make sense of the death race's ever-shifting rules, witness a contest of boxing vs. kung fu, and return to their roots to discuss one of the finest puns in our podcast's history.

Episode 39 - Ride of Frankenstein (Death Race 2000)

We're headed to the Big Easy on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, to discuss the 2013 crime thriller Bullet to the Head! On this episode, Mike and Kevin struggle to care enough about the movie's plot to bother trying to make sense of it, wonder whether or not this buddy crime film has one buddy too many, take a look at the strange phenomenon of micro-mansions.

Episode 40 - The French Quarter Gets Shortchanged (Bullet to the Head)

The Arms Race podcast returns for a new year and a new season to discuss the 1989 buddy-cop action comedy, Tango & Cash! Two podcast hosts must team up to clear their names, using all the evidence they can gather -- including but not limited to: stuffed animal security systems, rodent-related health code violations, ill-advised accents, burlesque drumming techniques, alternate realities, forgotten 80s Saturday morning cartoons, mis-remembered 90s cereals, and a thorough investigation into the Golden Girls expanded universe.

Episode 48 - Palance of Power (Tango & Cash)

It's the most ambitious crossover event in the history of the Arms Race Podcast, as we enter the realm of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to discuss Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2! In this episode Mike and Kevin discuss the finer points of 70s rock hits, museum exhibits, roll-out carpets, Mary Poppins, Pac-Man, Tastee Freez, space fireworks, corrective eyewear, and of course Bull from Night Court, before finally taking a 45-minute detour into the entirety of the Marvel cinematic canon.

Arns Race Podcast

Episode 49 - Planet Indiana (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2)

We're in a prison of our own making on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, as we discuss Escape Plan 2: Hades! We've perfected our podcast algorithms so that we can most efficiently bring you our discussions about magical satellites, robotic doctors, bug societies, finger painting, nefarious churches, prison cookies, and the wild world of the Chinese film industry.

Episode 50 - The Algorithm Is Gonna Get You (Escape Plan 2: Hades)

We can't escape the steady stream of prison movies on the Arms Race Podcast, so we're back to discuss the 1989 prison drama Lock Up! On this episode we compare the realism of all of Sylvester Stallone's prison films, observe the gambling do's and don'ts of a cigarette-based economy, wonder who's on First Base (and who cares), wax nostalgic about the Ickey Shuffle, and finally decide to put our prison break skills to the test in video game form.

Episode 51 - Run-On Sentence (Lock Up)

We're visited by an unwelcome guest on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, in the form of the Sylvester Stallone comedy Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Will Mike and Kevin find the culprits behind this heinous act of cinematic criminality? Will they decipher the clues hidden among the mountain of baby photos and pineapple chunks? Or will the Case of the Vanishing Punchlines go unsolved forever?

Episode 52 - Maternal Affairs (Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot)

The Arms Race podcast jitterbugs on back to discuss the 1950s nostalgia-fest, The Lords of Flatbush!  On this episode Mike and Kevin walk the line between the film's best and worst aspects, critique the great pretender who wrote the film's music, discuss methods of birth control that would make any man twist and shout, examine a rare honor that an actor receives only once in a blue moon, before Mr. Sandman dreams us a dream of owning the dog painting from Goodfellas.

Episode 56 - Rubberband Man (The Lords of Flatbush)

We're on a mission to bring you the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, as we discuss Rambo: First Blood Part II! On this episode Mike and Kevin argue the relative merits of the movie as a sequel to First Blood, speculate about the various creature comforts Murdoch has brought along with him, and finally catalog every film and television episode to have ever made a reference to John J. Rambo.

Episode 58 - Burned With Chicken Fire (Rambo: First Blood Part II)

Another season comes to an end here at the Arms Race podcast, as we bear witness the end of the Cold War in Rocky IV! On this episode, Mike and Kevin go ballistic over the slickest and most surreal film in the Rocky series, tear down the wall between cinema and music video, explore a series of iron curtain calls for a celebrity robot, and endure the mutually assured destruction of their recording equipment. See you next season!

Episode 59 - Russian to Conclusions (Rocky IV)

Duty calls as the Arms Race podcast is called back into action to discuss the first episode of the Rambo Saturday-morning cartoon, Rambo: The Force of Freedom!

Bonus - Drawn to Danger (Rambo: The Force of Freedom)

The Arms Race podcast returns for a brand new season covering Sylvester Stallone movies, and we're starting off with a multitude of bangs by discussing Rambo III! In this episode Mike and Kevin debate the relative merits of John Rambo's new skills in stick-fighting, comedy, roofing, mine detecting, sightseeing, spelunking, goat-pulling, locksmithing, babysitting, and human roman candle-ing.

Episode 60 - Tourist Trap (Rambo III)

The Arms Race podcast respawns for another episode, as we update our objective to discuss Spy Kids 3: Game Over! On this episode Mike and Kevin choose versus mode regarding the relative merits of the movie, take aim at some game design that isn't quite on the level, put Oakley's specs to the test, and marvel at he movie's massively-multiplayer finale.

Episode 61 - Virtual Fun (Spy Kids 3: Game Over)

We're back on the clock here at the Arms Race podcast to discuss the 1978 Sylvester Stallone labor drama, F.I.S.T! On this episode Mike and Kevin negotiate the finer points of the movie's plot, labor under the delusion that no bad news is good news, identify a striking multitude of familiar faces, and drop so many Seinfeld and Simpsons references that management has deducted them from their pay.

Episode 62 - We've Got Hoffa Mind to Agree (F.I.S.T.)

The Arms Race podcast. Born to win, born to lose, born to discuss the 2002 Sylvester Stallone thriller Eye See You. But interference happens. People interfere with important tasks. We don't believe this movie is good, not at all.  But when you remove the movie studio, then you will see a motion picture as it was never intended to be seen. This is not the way nature intended it to be. There will be another podcast episode found tonight. Thank you for your time.

Episode 63 - Murder & Hooch (Eye See You)

We're a witness to another of Sylvester Stallone's films here on the Arms Race podcast, as we testify to the relative merits of the 1986 action-thriller, Cobra! On this episode, Mike and Kevin discuss a thoroughly food-obsessed screenplay, a police sketch artist more suited for the funny pages, an orange grove whose produce is unlikely to pass government inspection, a photographer whose amorous advances tick all the wrong boxes, and a cargo van capable of sending well-meaning security guards into the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Episode 64 - Cult Following (Cobra)

Episode 71 - Boat Man Begins (Rambo)

We're back for one last bonus episode before our final Sylvester Stallone term of office begin, and Arms Race Podcast has elected to discuss the 1971 crime thriller starring Michael Caine: Get Carter!

Bonus - Stick the Soft Soap (Get Carter 1971)

The Arms Race Podcast returns home to begin its fourth and final season covering every Sylvester Stallone movie ever made, as we discuss Get Carter!

Episode 73 - Accents Will Happen (Get Carter)

The Arms Race Podcast is in town, to discuss the Netflix-exclusive animated film, Animal Crackers!

Episode 74 - Bulletman to the Head (Animal Crackers)

For their nefarious crime of choosing to watch every Sylvester Stallone movie one at a time, the Arms Race Podcast are sentenced to watch the 1995 sci-fi comic book adaptation, Judge Dredd!

Episode 75 - Chief Justice Lebowski (Judge Dredd)

The Arms Race Podcast rings in the new year with its discussion of the 1991 comedy, Oscar!

Episode 76 - The Farce Awakens (Oscar)

Two friends attempt to determine once and for all which action star has the highest body count in movie history -- currently, by watching every Sylvester Stallone movie one at a time. Formerly the Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast.

Arms Race Podcast

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