how do i even feel? 😐🙁😔

Offering vocal mixing and mastering services for $15 USD per track, email me at roderick.porter98@gmail.com for more information 

Amazing, amazing track produced by potsu. I re-arranged it a little bit to fit a structure better but holy shit it stands so well on its own. Heard the beat and wrote the whole song in like an hour. Hello X fans <3

---Lyrics---

evoked emotions got me smokin like a locomotive
swallowed by the ocean, minds awoken then my eyes just open
it was a dream but my clothes are soakin still
what kind of life is it to put my hope inside a pill
im trapped inside fight inside a neverending war
take a double dose of meds with the water that i pour
im losin consiousness at twelve but im up again by four
fuck it i dont really wanna do this shit anymore
i. just. dont. know. what. you. want. from. me.
i. just. dont. know. what. you. want. from. me.
im missin meals with my family so im hurtin their trust
i fall asleep the same time that they servin it up
im runnin outta brain cells the amount im burnin it up
my friend hidin from his demons through the purp in his cup

slept a whole damn three hours over last night
fall asleep in class, all my nights are fuckin bad nights
thats right, please dont ask why i dont act right
dream to sleep on clouds, cant smoke enough for that height
the birds chirpin might be beautiful, it stress me
float away on kicks, bass slappin like its gretzsky
if there is a god, i bet he doin this shit to test me
swear that i could rule the fuckin world if he just let me
i guess he either hates me or he doesnt even notice
liquor in my potions while i smoke to mr ocean
in the open, logan ride the fuckin whip like it was stolen 
so fuck you and all your fuckin stupid omnipotence
wanna stop the shit that goes on in my head
hands covered in this ink and dome covered in lead
but i got too much love to get lost in the sorrow
...the sunlight might be brighter tomorrow

ｆｕｌｌ　ａｌｂｕｍ　ゲく医

Roderick Porter - before the break of dawn (feat. Shiloh Dynasty) (prod. potsu)

producer. @lightbodyent
guitar written by @Tylerburkhart
https://soundcloud.com/tylerburkhart/i-want-to-drown-in-snow

i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
inside
i don’t want to live
but ill stay alive
i don’t want to leave
so ill make time
you don’t tell the truth
so you make lies
i cried
i cried again
last night flowers in my bed
last night i lost my best friend 
last nights flowers torn to shreds
last night our love wound up dead
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
inside
our love subsides i don’t feel right
pin me down you eat my insides
like a spider pull me in
kiss my neck make my blood thin
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
your pain inside

FREE DOWNLOAD

Last Nights Flowers - (prod. lightbody)

Saying I hate that bitch just means I used to love that girl

Follow crum: https://soundcloud.com/andrewsix/tracks

You were the one that taught me not to trust my heart
 taught me how to fall apart, now I’m chilling in the dark with a torch on your back porch waiting for the fire to start so we can make s’mores 

But of course it’s a dream and I wake up 
Falling apart at the seams since the break up
Remember scout on the couch waiting for ya when your brother calls b hi yeahack just so he can ignore ya..

And I don’t get it I did everything I could to understand what I never understood like,
Where were you that night? 
I freaked out, you went missing 
Why’d you have to go and put me into that posistion?

I hate bitching bout missing you bu it’s truet the only time I’ve felt myself was when I was witchu 
yeah 
Mmm hmm, mm hmm,

I remember when we first met, and you said, Everybody lives twice and dies two deaths 
In your mind where you dreams go to hide and when they die this reality is all you have you have left 

I used to say that if I married you would be the one, coming undone, gotta stick To my guns
It’s not the end of my life just the end of the world 
saying “ I hate that bitch” means I used to love that girl

Mmm hmm , mmhhmm mhhhnm 
I ask her if she’s done with she says 
Mmm hmmm,  mhmmmm;  mhhmmm

Yeah,  it’s summer 15, you finally kissed me 
But something’s wrong all along I can see that want something and its not me,  I dunno...  don’t want to leave but I think that I should go 

I made it through another October,  the thirteenth and you’re calling me over, put I don’t know why I’m here carving pumpkins
Till She looks up and says I gotta say something

I think I love you.. and I don’t know what to do,  I want to be friends i don’t want to lose you 
But girl I’m tryna see this though
I can’t reach my dreams if I’m dreaming of you 

And I knew it would be process 
But can we please have some progress? 
These mafuckas just hate cause they can’t relate to somebody with a promise 

And my promises are something that I keep, when I can’t sleep I just want another night 
I knew you’d be the one to leave, and it wouldn’t take a fight 
But it’s fine, now you went and proved me right yeah 

you said I got to learn to plan more
don’t fucking tell me what I stand for 
I’m doing alright without you
 just forgot how to write a song that’s not about you

Fucked Up / Let Down

Yeah It's Fine Whatever

Yeah It's Fine Whatever [Prod. Crum]

Guccihighwaters-you cant really save me

Lil Peep - Where Is My Wine feat Lil Tracy and The Pixies

9TAILS & Guccihighwaters - For Once (prod. Notmorgn)

S/O https://soundcloud.com/lilsadeyes for mixing my part :)

Kixsu X Flowars - So High (Prod. Syndrome)

V1
Its been like
3 months of no talking
Walking by myself
No more eyes to get lost In
Keep on looking back all the time 
Ill be honest
I hate being alone
at least I got my conscience
Since u left me here
locked up in my room
writing all these songs
Wake up evey morning 
and turn my computer on
Because how else do I deal 
With these thoughts of u and me
I was on the clouds
Now im spiralling into sea
I wrote a message for u
But I couldn’t send it
I regret it
Yuh
Im sorry I’m pathetic
Whats this caught a sickness
and won’t be getting better
The sun might be shining
But it feels like rainy weather


Pre chorus
I trynna keep it on the low
I trynna get u off my mind
I trynna keep my feelings inside
But its hard sometimes


Chorus
I thought with u it might work out
But I guess I was wrong again
Im not sure what it is with me
I’ve never been good with friends
I thought with u it might work out
But I guess I was wrong again
it doesnt matter who u are
Soon we’ll come to the end


V2
Its been about a year
Since we last spoke
Trynna stay clean but need more soap
letting out pain with these words I wrote
Dried up tears and a bit of soar throat
feelings that had were beginning to rot
Starts off good then it suddenly stops
Ya but ill leave it in the past
Now the futures all I got


Bridge
All of these girls, they got me picking sides
Falling in love is like my kryptonite
Don’t know what to do 
No I can’t decide 

Am I meant to be alone?

SPOTIFY

i could never be loved (Prod. Seany OWE)

Single for Rainy Tapes Vol. 1 COMING OUT AUGUST 3RD!!

Prod. Jacobsen

Smoke dope, stay home
Bad thoughts, my dome
Go ghost, alone
Don't check my phone
Stuck in my ways
Don't feel the same
I like the pain
I like the pain
Smoke dope, stay home
Bad thoughts, my dome
Go ghost, alone
Don't check my phone
Stuck in my ways
Don't feel the same
I like the pain
I like the pain

These days I don't feel no pain
I don't really want to feel okay
Sunshine, I don't feel no rain
My demons call my name
And I kind of want to go back
Thinking that the shadow where my home at
Fuck it, I've been feeling so heartless
Strange I've been taken from the darkness, yeah
And I don't really feel myself
Smoke til I can't feel myself
Drink til I fucked up my health
My friends said I need help
Cause I want to feel a heart break
Want to feel the pain of a heart ache
I don't really know what love is
I'm just fucking done with the numbness, yeah

Smoke dope, stay home
Bad thoughts, my dome
Go ghost, alone
Don't check my phone
Stuck in my ways
Don't feel the same
I like the pain
I like the pain
Smoke dope, stay home
Bad thoughts, my dome
Go ghost, alone
Don't check my phone
Stuck in my ways
Don't feel the same
I like the pain
I like the pain

And I try to convince myself that I don't love you
I don't love you, no
And I try to convince myself that I don't need you
I don't need you, no
And I try to convince myself that I don't love you
I don't love you, no
And I try to convince myself that I don't need you
I don't need you, yeah

-----------------------------------------------------

Social Media Links below
-----------------------------------------------

Roderick Porter:

SoundCloud: https://www.soundcloud.com/roderickporter

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/7Lcln0AXqNHMahrca8KVpy

Bandcamp: https://www.roderickporter.bandcamp.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roderick.porter

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RoderickJPorter

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/roderickporter420/

Snapchat: roderick_porter

Rainy Tapes, Vol. 1

i like the pain

SPOTIFY!

Roderick Porter - i like the pain (feat. Shiloh Dynasty) [prod. Jacobsen]

cet album est pour toi

hold her? haha
fuck that!

you were all i had i lost another one, another one
you're not coming back i'll roll another one, another one

every friend that i had
every love that i lost
every dime that i fucked
every time i'm on the drugs

i'm gonna die soon, every line i write i always wanna cry too
give a fuck about myself i wanna help you

give a fuck about myself i wanna help you
help you
help you
help you

wanna help you
help you!
help you
me too

i've fallen out, i'm done with trust, i'm over you, i'm done with love
love gotta price tag, i don't wanna spend that, sex like hazmat, fumes need a gas mask.

when you tell me that you loved me you were lying thru your teeth
cross your fingers hold your breath and hope i never fuckin see
you're always focused on the fuck ups on the melody and key
when the beat been drivin flow just let the lyrics do its thing

i swear to god i'll never miss the way you acted on my feed
you been speakin hella reckless i can't take another tweet

stay away from me
(lose my fuckin number)

monsoon

monsoon (p. ocean)

You were the biggest inspiration to me and a lot of people around me. You've done a lot for me indirectly and a lot of people as well and I'm so thankful for that man, it's sad that you had to go so early, Rest In Paradise Legend ❤

This is not the only Remix of X I've written, there's more if you guys want more. Love you Jah, Rest In Paradise.

Mix: @kammichaelmusic
Original: @jahseh-onfroy
Prod by: Alason x XXXTENTACION

I spoke to the devil in miami, he said everything would be fine (Remix)

I Spoke To The Devil In Miami, He Said Everything Would Be Fine (Remix)

lyrics:
(verse 1 - indii g)
I been thinking real hard
Now I can’t sleep
We no longer got a
Heart on the same beat
I don’t ever really
Want any blood but we
standing the mud where it
was really concrete
It was fun but I
Hate to say I’m losing faith I’m
Goin insane this fornicating
Got me crazy anyway we
Goin to hell. im just tryna
Save myself.
I’m just tryna fade away
You’re disarray, you’re
ricochet you’re just
a phase a throwaway
Why you getting too complicated?
Trying hard to save it but it’s
Not the same but it’s
Not the same, but
 
(hook)
Can’t you see you’re too complacent
Can’t you see I’m moving
On to something better. Face it
You’re not the one for me, I’m
Not just tryna make a statement
It’s just not the same now
I’m finding your replacement
I’m find your replacement

(verse 2 - sadboyprolific)
ay lemme talk for a sec.
lemme stress all the problems in my head
Ah. Sike! Lemme flex on my ex
you toss me to the side, now i'm
counting up the checks. dont regret
i been leaving you behind in the past
i just crush another gram and then
flick off all the ash.
fuck being mad and fuck being sad
youre feeling good now but the feeling gonna pass
flip it up and then kick it into drive
and then toss you to the side
cause you wasted all my time
you used to be the only thing running through my mind
now im running up the cash and leaving you behind
i been kicking with a baddie thats 
saying she love my music
love's the worst kind of drug and
you love to abuse it
now im hiding in my room
i think that i'm reclusive
your words are like venom
they coma inducing

Complacent [ft. sadboyprolific]

my attempt to extend the song basing on a snippet, made this one before the full version was released
samples collide by howie day

Lil Peep - Me And U (prod. Charlie Shuffler) extended snippet

prod. @oceanonthebeat

i been tryin' hard, you've been layin' low
i've been movin' mountains pushin' through the snow
i can't feel my fingers, i can't feel my toes
love won't be my savior. i should let it go

shes got these eyes, jaded she's a gem
i might fall in love, i might break my heart again
love it when she laughs fuck i love it when she breaths
i get dizzy when she speaks cause she's exactly what i need

and i don't wanna waste your time
i just wanna give you mine
and i don't wanna waste your time
i just wanna give you mine

i think it might be best for me to let you go
but if you ever love me you should let me know
i know you really want him guess i'm fine with that
be careful with your heart cause i'm not good at that

picking up the pieces, 
does he hold you while you're sleepin?
heard he loves you does he mean it?
does he care about your dreams and
all your goals and how you'll meet em
does he call you ever evening
is he making sure you're eating
do you love him how he loves you is it even fucking even

i won't wait around for him to break your heart
i can't mend your soul i don't know where i'd start
i don't wanna fight again i know it gets hard
i don't wanna fight again i know it gets hard

i been tryin' hard, you've been layin' low
i've been movin' mountains pushin' through the snow
i can't feel my fingers, i can't feel my toes
love won't be my savior, i should let it go

shes got these eyes, jaded she's a gem
i might fall in love, i might break my heart again
love it when she laughs fuck i love it when she breaths
i get dizzy when she speaks cause she's exactly what i need

and i don't wanna waste your time
i just wanna give you mine
and i don't wanna waste your time
i just wanna give you mine

jaded (prod. ocean)

Suicide (Prod. Discent)

prod: @mental
mixed: @mental and @kammichaelmusic

mental was here OwO

spotify!

Worried (prod. mental)

Walk Away (ft. Aiko & Teqkoi)

i dont wanna lose u

up on all platforms <3

you keep playin with my heart
youre tearing me apart
saw it comin from the start
the start, the start
and i keep trying to run away
know you need me to stay
dont look at me, dont look at me
dont look at me that way

follow me on instagram! instagram.com/roderick.porter

follow me on spotify! open.spotify.com/artist/7Lcln0AXqNHMahrca8KVpy?si=WRSNdsZxQiCq1nPEXOOfpg

follow me on youtube! youtube.com/c/roderickporter

Ghost (feat. Ivri)

Artist: Kevo / prod. ILLUID HALLER
Song Name: alone
Description: Kevo - alone is an incredible recent hip hop / underground rap. Enjoy!

Artist Social Networks:
https://soundcloud.com/kevolovesyou
https://www.instagram.com/kevolovesyou/

how do i even feel? 😐🙁😔

jason