Wake up Tuesday time for Dick's Show
Will it be a gunty shit show?
Or a classic for the ages?
Have to wait and hear the rages

Starting strong with Dick & co-host
Mocking mom who lost her mojo
Find out news is coming up soon
Switch from Libsyn link to Youtube

Who's this news babe in the corner?
She's a cutie I adore her
Modest beauty thin and pretty
A/C's cranked it's getting nippy

So you wanna be a news babe? Well here's a little tidbit
No one cares what you say just show a little tit nip
While Vito's fanboying over pedophiles
Your nipples start growing and THE CHAT GOES WILD!

Don't mask it with your hair hun there ain't no need to hide it
Now you're not the only one who's getting quite excited
You got me going "oOOo don't need huge boOOobs
just wanna be hugging you in an ice-cold roOOom"

Your boobies' peaks look like Boogie's teeth
Chiclets gum I want some give this dude a piece
Can we just get married? Why are you avoiding this?
I could be your Larry and you could be my pointy chick

Canuck shitposter seeking arrangement
Check your freedoms at the border leather purses the payment 
No sperm shortage here watch me pump out litres
As we Netflix and chill in my walk-in freezer

You'll be begging "get inside me"
When I take you mountain climbing
Don't need tools with such a nice rack
Use your sharp boobs as an ice axe

My front lawn we're nude sunbathing
'Cause it sure could use aerating
Come inside we'll cook a nice meal
Use your boobs to tenderize veal

Whether you have nice tight lips or saggy ship sinkers
Don't care just get those nips in my fingers
Wear my heart on my suit I've been hurt in the past
So I burned all my chairs now I'm looking to smash

Stacks of chicks massive tits 
old news babe just after nips
E-beef? No I rap that's it
Only nipple rubbing I insist on 
Are yours in my mouth I'm a pacifist
With passive fists won't flaunt my ass crack and spit
On a chick I'll just buy you new spatulas

I won't huff your poo (unless you ask me too) 
Plus I've over 4'9" MASSIVE dude
I won't whisk you away to a drug commune 
You won't ever find a loli poster in my room
A mix between Kian and Sean - quite hunky
Never made a sex tape as a suicidal monkey


I'm well-adjusted I make good choices
What? 200 songs about cucks in dumb voices?
Just a little hobby babe I swear don't got the 'tism
It's just laser focus now it's on your nipples wanna lick 'em
100% safe sex let's do it
My bullet proof vest will protect me while we're screwing

From those full metal jackets in your jacket going BLAM BLAM
Hit me in the heart ma'am now I got my damn hand
Working on my hard glans got you breathing heavy like 
A pandemic get the hand sanitizer 
I'm like Pfizer now you're feeling my effects
Go lay down and have a rest got the chills your nipples wrecked
My leather couch you made a mess bad bitch yeah you're the best
Gotta get this off my chest I keep staring at your breasts
Look at that they're staring back at me baby #feelingblessed

"Two for one? RIP OFF! Damn dude that hurt.
Paid for one tit fuck got two Prince Alberts."

"Met her last Monday took her on a shopping spree
Never came back to suck me off properly"

8 AM met this lady down
at the ATM (for some atm)
Took my 18 grand put it in her hand
Then she switched the plan and that bitch just just ran
It's now 9 pm I'm still waiting ma'am
(You're stupid) did I just get scammed?!?!

I'm a scammer too baby I appreciate the hustle 
But no IOUs for you until I get my suckle snuggles

(Sexy boy) I'll meet you at your place
(We need to go in the shower) Sure babe sounds great

Now I'm tapping that ass and I got her coming fast
Cold shower bent over up against the frosted glass
Diamond tips *squeak squeak* those nips cut deep
Break the glass and my fall in a sudsy bloody heap

Still I have to finish oops leaning on her neck
It was only 9 minutes! How can she be dead!?
I'm wearing leather gloves who's gonna believe me?
So I pick up her phone call Christopher Kiwi

(Based on Tom's Diner DNA remix)

100%

Final Fantasy XII

The Skycity of Bhujerba

Wii Play

Pose Mii - Results

Ripped from https://downloads.khinsider.com/game-soundtracks/album/puyo-puyo-20th-anniversary-original-soundtrack

Puyo Puyo!! 20th Anniversary Original Soundtrack

The Puyo Puyo Song - In-game Version (Ringo's Theme)

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch my kitty, let her know
She's my favourite animal "Kitty you're incredible!"
Clawing all my furniture, licking on their assholes
Pissing on my bed, what a bunch of little rascals! ฅ^-ﻌ•^ฅ

One kitty, two kitty, three kitty, four
Kitties on the sofa, kitties on the floor
Kitties on my bed, kitties on my mind
If I had my way I'd spend each day with kitties, that'd be fine

I'm the Fat Cat Daddy and I'm always adding
To my Kitty Kat Krew, cat poo keeps stacking
You can pet 'em you can hug 'em
Shake Temptations they come runnin'
You can bet my kitties know that I'm their daddy and I love 'em

Ask my pussy what her dad's like, she'll say "his favorite pastimes
include sliding q-tips in my virgin feline vagine"
They say "Vito, you're so sick. Why fuck your cats with Q-Tips?"
Because you stupid dipshit, my pinky finger's too thick!

Now, let's be clear, to be fair, I suck cocks too
In the alley drinking stray cum 'til half past two

This sex is dynamite
Consensual and not a crime (because my kitty kinda whined)
It's justified unlike your outrage "VITO that's horrible!"
3 other psychos online did it that makes it's normal

I want my kiddy toyed, and you're so mad
Like I'm Arnold, and you're Sinbad
You're tweeting out in all caps
I'm cumming inside all cats

It's not bestiality! Strictly medical +++
PROOF - my porn history's all dicks and tentacles
She's in heat 5 in the morning I need sleep I'm almost forty
It's like fucking your own grandma with a dildo when she's horny

It's platonic I don't want it
It's just something responsible cats owner's have to do, you got it?
Let's change the topic...

Now I'm getting stung by Dame
While fucking cats like all day
He said I'm fat and all gay
And I love blacks and bay-bayes

I'd say we tied, I brought the rhymes
He's got the accent and the Yayah
But I'M the kitty cat playa
Biggest problem? All my haters

Vote it up like my cat butt when she's in heat and I masturbate her
Sorry kitty I need a break (gotta bitch online about lightsabers)

2 girls 1 cup? How 'bout two cats, one Q-Tip?
♪ I'm Vito Vito Vito ♪ watch me lose it 'cause I'm

Cat Rape Vito and I'm sick of people saying
"Don't Rape Cats You're a Fucking Weirdo!"
I explained it quite enough I linked 1 article and stuff
So can't you guys leave me alone while I tickle this kitty's muff?

I'm the Fat Cat Daddy and I'm always adding
To my Kitty Kat Krew, cat poo keeps stacking
You can lick 'em you can suck 'em
Hold them down if they try runnin'
You can bet my kitties know that I'm their daddy 'cause I fuck 'em

Cat Daddy

A 5000 copies only box set to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Dragon Quest. TEN DISCS

Symphonic Suite Dragon Quest Scene-Separated I~IX [Disc 03] ~Town, Village~

Heavenly Village [Dragon Quest VII]

The first OFFICIAL collab base (DreamLandSpartan/Xleth Yireh)

Sparta Nemesis Mix

Music written, performed and produced by MCMC ©2018

Lyrics written and performed by MCMC and Kendollinhide ©2018

As heard on episode 108 of The Dick Show (36m52s): thedickshow.com/episode-108/

Big thanks to all involved: Kendollinhide, Samglaze, Asterios, Madcucks, 688as & Hazencruz

Lyrics

Hehe hehe's the master of blasting hard bars faster
Outsmarting and outclassing all past MCs like me
What a bastard, feasting on carcasses of bars that I speaked
On a fat narstee beat made for me by < < < Aciou > > >
He's on a train of inspiration and Ken's speeding away
What a waste of my time going out my way to write lines 
While this guy's got the balls 
To make me cry laughing with two syllables (hehe)
God damn fam this motherfuckers fuckin' me up, 
Thinking I'm shit out of luck, thinking all my stuff sucks,
I must say the way he lays down these premium yucks
Has even got me monthly giving ten bucks!
It's not enough, this guy deserves obscene amounts of green
You must just trust me you're gonna see what I mean
I'm sorry Sean, I've got a new mancrush, I've seen the light
Support his songs at Patreon.com/kendollinhide

Chorus: 

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

Ken: You give me too much credit, what I do is quite easy
"Blah blah blah CUCK blah blah blah HEHE"
Can't sing like Lakembra, Strand or Anthony Charles
I can't splice nice like Cuckcux and Mr. Seidel
I can't make a theme song, my body's not a space station
Can't conjure up a beat like Vistas' wizardly creations
I can't play an instrument like Savestate Myroom
"Can't Handle criticism like" "Fuck off Hazencruz"
24 songs and counting, 6 hours each
Let's do some quick accounting, hmm...carry the 3
Minus the equipment, expenses and fees
I'm only losing 4 US dollars a week
Yeah business is hard but I can turn this around
A beef would bring some traffic to my humble Soundcloud
So meet me outside if you hate these damn verses
I'll skin your ass alive and make a couple manpurses

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

He makes me wanna give up and kill myself
With the lyrics he's got going on in his mind
No wait, I won't give up, I'll just shill myself
To patreon.com/kendollinhide

Patreon.com/kendollinhide (featuring Kendollinhide, mastered by Samglaze)

Automate swarms of office workers to solve puzzles inside your very own parallel computer made of people. A thrilling followup to the award winning Human Resource Machine. Now with more humans! Music by Kyle Gabler.

03 - The Work Continues

What are NPCs? Hmm, how can I explain it?
Herds of blue-haired sheep, easily manipulated
Their kryptonite is comedy, yeah they fuckin' hate it
So late at night at UCB is where they've congregated
Now UCB's a group of geeks and women who won't date 'em
These guys avert their eyes from thighs because it is degrading
"But hey I might get laid if they applaud this chick on stage and
laugh at her generic jokes and join in the complainin'"

"Knock-knock" Who's there? "Trump's a jerk, I hate him!"
"Blahblahblah vagina stuff" How have you not made it?
Hey, uh, I once owned a girl with a vagina
She made my cry, bruh "Did you get her fired?" I tried tuh
She wants a man I guess that's why we didn't work out (heh)
Three years later, still obsessed still so I sperged out...(hey!)
Because this ex left a wedding with my best friend (what?!)
They told me nothing happened but I'm pretty sure they held hands! (NOOOOOOOOO!)
Now they they all call me a C to the U to the C to the K
But UCB sided with me because I might be gay
Dick's so straight and white, let's face it
He must maintain a rape list

[chorus]
Hi I'm an NPC from UCB [x3]
You know what offends me? It's comedy!
Hi I'm an NPC from UCB [x3]
You know what offends me? Dick's comedy!

UCB Dean here, Dick I have to tell you
These jokes are too spicy, so I have to expel you
The Uptight Citizens Brigade just had a vote and
Unanimously decided we just can't take a joke man
Shoo! Vamoose! Skedaddle! You gotta go man!
Some bitch from Conde Naste has fuckin' got me by the gonads
Wait not so fast, one more thing I must ask 
Dick could you remove your profile pic? Yo that'd be so fab
Safespace comedy, we're real trend-setters
Look 'cause of your book we've been bombarded with letters 
"Dick hates women! Kick him out, you'd better!
Sincerely, a totally real journalist, Heather"

At first I wasn't sure 'cause you're usually just chillin'
But hey you sure do play a quite convincing Disney villain
"No one trolls quite like Dick, gives no fucks quite like Dick
No one eats the damned souls of dumb cucks quite like Dick"
Yikes! Delete all videos with Masterson's performances
There's nothing I find more offensive than enormous dicks
"I flaunted my big gorgeous tits once and he looked at me!"
"Oh my god!" "That's not okay!" "It's masculine toxicity!"

[chorus]

You dumb dipshits, job lynch mob kids
Have no business running comedy clubs, shit
One cunt's ticked off
Quick! Let's shoot our dick's off!
Anyone who jokes about the following will get doxxed
Chick politicians, non-Christian religions
Jokes at the expense of those who honor honor killings
*3 hours later* Is there anything we're missing?
Stupid balding cucks who took a vicious legal fisting
Gay bears, wheelchairs, fat guys with red hair
"What about free speech?"
....Don't care!
Please just love me, I'm dead inside :(
Oh I'm Mike, do you like my vocal fryyyyyyy?

Diversity is great but at UCB, it's skin deep
These pricks will get you fired if they do not like your comedy
"No one wants to book me!" Get a job "That's not happenin'!
"Alexa, what's the average salary for LA Activists?"

Chaos Cowboys and Indians, giggling Argentinians 
Piss-soaked Loli pricks and figbatdiggernicks
Liberals, conservatives, ankle-biting furry kids
Yeah we're all degenerates but Dickheads are diverse as shit

Top autists, top gays, post-op vajayjays
Consensual, bisexual, cocaine-fueled fourways
Facebook civil warlords, fedora-tipping redditors
Sorry no Titos allowed, we're not a fan of predators (fuck you Tito)
Otherwise it's all good, come one, come all
Liam Neeson give that penis back to Scott Zoloft (deep cut! https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/aakvj9)
The NPCs at UCB are lacking creativity
Why can't they see we all just need to hate each other equally?

[If you want me to keep making songs on a regular basis, please consider throwing me a buck at patreon.com/kendollinhide]

Cat Daddy

Hidden Kenolli

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