wilson I'm sorry you are lost in the ocean. I just feel this incredible gratitude and bliss with life right now that I kinda don't care. why am I even talking to a volleyball. but not in a "damn I'm so crazy and embarrassing way". in a open curious way that genuinely just seeks to understand what motivates my behaviour without placing judgement on myself for acting abnormally. it's like my being is a thing operating itself and I only get glimpses into what it thinks it's doing most of the time and from those glimpses I get the opportunity to understand what forces are driving me to act out in this way. what do i still need to heal and integrate in order to be more fulfilled and at peace with myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~if I'm over here judging myself and feeling bad for just being me expressing myself how I am drawn to, I'd never get to explore these aspects of my psyche or really understand them. or experience the joy of how strange and hilarious i am. i never even knew this part of me existed. i discovered it - developed it even through this practice. so I let myself express and play out every crazy story and playlist theme without judging myself and instead just observing. questioning. loving myself through it all. its not always easy but it's getting easier. lighter. more freeing and joyful. like I've dropped a bag of bowling balls that I was carrying my whole life until this year. one that always made me feel like I wasn't good enough.  I'm glad I ditched it. maybe in time I'll be glad I ditched you too wilson.                                           you are a delightful waste of time.     🐸👑      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                                                 'Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.                          ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

you are a delightful waste of time

I feel so free

Track 7 from the EP "From Static to the Stars"

A Brief Exercise In Letting Go

We Fragile Machines