self-estranged

what? I’m fine 
don’t worry bout me 
easy to lie 
so you leave me alone
don’t know why 
you keep hitting my phone
this time I didn’t post about dying 

it’s stupid how I do this 
i know I’m hurting myself but i didn’t choose this 
i’m trapped in this cycle 
i hate that guilt’s the only things getting me through this 

it’s stupid how I do this 
i know I’m hurting myself but i didn’t choose this 
i’m trapped in this cycle 
i hate that guilt’s the only things getting me through this 


waste of time 
don’t reach out to me 
i’m out of tries 
can’t you leave me alone?
crippled mind
is it my fault?
life sucks would you be fine without me? 

the way things are this time 
so used to holding it inside 
don’t hate, don’t say I didn’t try  
i wish they’d bury me alive 
bury me alive 
i’m alive, i’m alive
fucked it up this time 
i’m alive, i’m alive

it’s stupid how I do this 
i know I’m hurting myself but i didn’t choose this 
i’m trapped in this cycle 
i hate that guilt’s the only thing getting me through this 

it’s stupid how I do this 
i know I’m hurting myself but i didn’t choose this 
i’m trapped in this cycle 
i hate that guilt’s the only thing getting me through this 

i’m the last one who should be complaining
there’s worse things, that’s not what I am saying 
after what I learned I still feel clueless 
it’s inevitable I’m gonna lose to this

STUPID

visit me the next time you’re here
selfishly, want you to lend an ear 
wish you’d speak your mind just like me
i’m not that great at setting boundaries
i’m not a fool, i know it’s wishful thinking 
same as before but i picked up drinking 
too many words where they shouldn’t be 
slur a confession and it’s embarrassing 

i can’t take back what i said
intrusive thoughts always win
i live a life full of sin
i’ll lose before i begin 

guarantee you won’t hear me out 
in too deep, can’t turn it around 
i can’t sleep, my thoughts waste my time 
i think they’re eating me alive 
not in control of what i’ve been thinking 
same as before but i feel like i’m sinking 
don’t mean to disturb all the energy 
maybe it’s better to just ignore me

you make me feel like i’m the only one who thinks this way
come to your senses, just admit it, i know you’re the same 

i can’t take back what i said
intrusive thoughts always win
i live a life full of sin
i’ll lose before i begin

i can’t take back what i said
intrusive thoughts always win
i live a life full of sin
i’ll lose before i begin 

i can’t take back what i said
intrusive thoughts always (jpg)
i live a life full of sin
i’ll lose before i begin

i can’t take back what i said
intrusive thoughts always win
i live a life full of sin
i’ll lose before - for - for

INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

i can be the bad guy if you want me to 
it’s a better look on me then it was on you 
why is owning up so hard for you to do? 
perception’s askew 
causing so much damage and you seem amused 
takes a lot of courage to never improve 
grow up to be like those who mistreated you
i thought we were alike, so far removed

every move I make, things look farther away 
is it Intuition or my anxiety?
scared I’ll break down, down entirely
you’ve seen it before, brought on easily 

it’ll be a shocker there’s no doubt 
not much of a talker are you now? 
can’t be a bigger person on the ground 
up here I’m doing better you can’t bring me down 
one day I’ll be important, i’ll be so profound 
they say don’t look back so they missed out
i spent so long hoping that you would come around 
i’m done wasting my breath, forget about it now 

every move I make, things look farther away 
is it Intuition or my anxiety?
scared I’ll break down, down entirely
you’ve seen it before, brought on easily

FAR REMOVED

(with me) 

go away with me (if you’re ready) 
what do you wanna see? (show you everything)
anywhere you wanna dream (just a fantasy) 
just go away with me (go away with me) 

was this a sign waiting? 
heard a cry deep within me 
we were both waiting for something 
life was too numbing 
we need an escape 
close my eyes and keep wishing 

if you mention it once more, 
you probably mean it 
you always sound so unsure 
you’re scared of commitment 

go away with me (if you’re ready) 
what do you wanna see? (show you everything) 
anywhere you wanna dream ( just a fantasy) 
just go away with me (go away with me) 

walls of stone came down crumbling 
did my words finally do something?
i kept replaying our moments 
try to control them 
but they stayed the same 
tears in my eyes, i kept pleading 

im tired arguing but i don’t wanna leave 
don’t want us to fall apart, do you still want me? 
pressure to be perfect eating me up inside 
hold it together, try to keep it alive

go away with me (if you’re ready) 
what do you wanna see? (show you everything) 
anywhere you wanna dream (just a fantasy) 
just go away with me (go away with me)

GO AWAY WITH ME

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self-estranged

V!4