it is worthless for me to try again (MannyBeats)

down down down

OS<3U

prod by graves

lyrics 
u left ash in my lungs, i still breathe u in (breathe in)
love tasted like poison, i kept swallowin’ sin (sin)
black nails, blood stains, look what we became (what did we become)
you said it’s real but we rot the same (the same)

burnt my lips on your goodbyes (goodbye)
sad boy grave, i still get high (high)
told me “don’t cry,” but u love it when i cry (cry)

boy love — it’s a curse not a flame (curse)
cut my chest just to spell your name (your name)
blood on my tongue, i whisper your to blame (blame)
feels so good when it hurts the same (the same)
boy love — i still taste you in pain (pain)
your the pill that rewired my brain (my brain)
hate that i want you, hate that i stayed (i stayed)
boy love — put me in my grave (my grave)
(grave... yeah... still bleedin’...)


u said “forever,” i said “maybe,”
we both knew that meant never, baby (never, baby)
rose wilted in a plastic bag (bag)
your sweet talks feed my panic attacks

your ghost in my phone, still texts me “i love you” 
every read receipt just feel like doom (doom)
eyes like knives when u walk in the room (the room)
i still bleed chrome when i think of you (of you)


this love ain’t pure, it’s gasoline (gasoline)
spark one word, we both go mean (both go mean)
heaven never built for boys like me (nah)
so i burn slow till i’m finally free (free)

boy love — it’s a curse not a flame (curse)
cut my chest just to spell ur name (your name)
blood on my tongue, i whisper your to blame (blame)
feels so good when it hurts the same (the same)
boy love — i still taste you in pain (pain)
your the pill that rewired my brain (my brain)
hate that i want you, hate that i stayed (i stayed)
boy love — put me in my grave (my grave)

yeah first boy..
last breath…
still bleedin’ for u, nonetheless.

boy love

I miss my childhood...

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Do you ever think of past life when you was young? (you was young)
Riding bikes, exploring paths kissing without tongues (without tongues).
Life without no worries living was so much fun (so fun),
I sure miss those days it was really short fast run (short run).
And I don't wanna be in this place that I am at now (I am at now),
Can I keep on playing, living the life I once had? (Life I once had)
Sun was smiling so was I, knew my place and where I'm at (where I'm at?),
Happy soul and new adventures I wish I still had (wish I still had).
All the stories, they're coming back to me,
Making me miss the times, what went wrong in this life of mine?
I feel lost and my insides turning,
"I'm alright, not so quite, I'm feeling fine yeah"

[Hook]
I'm alright yeah,
Feeling fine yeah,
I'm kinda lost here,
And all alone here,
Don't wanna die yet,
Not even there yet,
I'm alright yeah,
I'm feeling fine yeah.

[Verse 2]
Do you ever think of what your life has become? (your life has become)
Getting high to numb the pain that you wish you didn't have (lots of pain).
Trying to survive, a new day's a chance to shine (a chance for you to shine),
Dreamers wish of fame, and I wanna be in spotlight (be in spotlight).
Daily struggles make me feel like I'm all alone (all alone)
There's a warzone in my head reason is unknown (unknown),
That is why I'm always stuck in this painful zone (painful zone),
Even though it hurts there still is a lot of hope (a lot of hope).

[Bridge]
I will burn for eternity, (eternity).
Please save me from this misery, (this misery).
Will I ever get my life back, (get my life back)?
You ask me how I'm feeling right now? I'm feeling fine, yeah.

[Hook]
I'm alright yeah,
Feeling fine yeah,
I'm kinda lost here,
And all alone here,
Don't wanna die yet,
Not even there yet,
I'm alright yeah,
I'm feeling fine yeah.

(x2)

written/performed/produced by me.

download - http://bit.ly/2GWBGcq
_____________________________________________________
also follow meh on youtube - bit.ly/2xRvOQG

feel free to use my music, just lemme know before you do that.
zonedcorner@gmail.com

PAST LIFE

i love all of you. 💕 hope i made some happy with this :)

this is a cover of a song with the same name by ollie mn. listen to it too its amazing!

cover art by my bestie!! <3 https://www.twitter.com/xdsadistic

an original song will be released soon! 💕💕

please never fall in love again.

Guitar by @cxldblxxd

130 BPM F# B 

Available for lease and exclusive on https://traktrain.com/cxld_blxxd as "Guitar beat 75" 

Thank you for your support 💙

my last episode

ayla by atlas if you were listening to it from the other room on a rainy day

original song by @atlas
art by skirt (not mine)

ayla - atlas (on a rainy day)

I genuinely forgot to post this on soundcloud my computer was messed up lol

Clear Skies

Please be safe during this crazy pandemic. Social distance. <3

I made this song back in January, but this line up is crazy. I wrote this about when I was hospitalized almost 5 years ago. I didn't know whether I'd ever leave, but it helped me learn about myself and take things less seriously.

Lyrics:
And I won't lie, won't lie
I spend all my late nights
Tryna get this head right
I'm not distant, I just need time

Hoping you'd take me to Nurse Joy
Play with me like you do all your toys
Look at my direction I can't avoid
The line's getting closer

Leave me by my bedside
I can't even move my legs right
I get zoned out looking at the twilight shift
Six more bags, get me outta this rig

This feels like a movie, 21, what's going on
Just tell me how much longer does it last
I'm getting past this, find another man, shit
We need better casting, yuh

Hoping you'd take me to Nurse Joy
Play with me like you do all your toys
Look at my direction I can't avoid
The line's getting closer
Hit me up, take me out, I'm a wreck
Tell me all the things that make you sick
Mess it up, talk it out, be upset
I'm tired, get closer

I've been spending all this time
Just waiting for the perfect lines
To tell me what I want to do, pull through
Do I want to be the greatest?
I choose you!

You make me feel like a dream
Soaring through this, Butterfree
Take me out this hell I've been in
Fucked up, but you're next to me

Hoping you'd take me to Nurse Joy
Play with me like you do all your toys
Look at my direction I can't avoid
The line's getting closer
Hit me up, take me out, I'm a wreck
Tell me all the things that make you sick
Mess it up, talk it out, be upset
I'm tired, get closer

And I won't lie, won't lie
I spend all my late nights
Tryna get this head right
I'm not distant, I just need time
And I know it don't work
But I know what doesn't hurt
Just call me lazy, I'm not ready
I don't deserve

Hoping you'd take me to Nurse Joy
Play with me like you do all your toys
Look at my direction I can't avoid
The line's getting closer
Hit me up, take me out, I'm a wreck
Tell me all the things that make you sick
Mess it up, talk it out, be upset
I'm tired, get closer

NURSE JOY

Spotify

[Intro]
Fall apart, fall apart my love.
I've been waiting for, waiting for your love.
'Cause you, Never leave.
Yeah, Trill.

[Chorus: trill_xxandrew]
Fall apart, fall apart.
My love, I've been waiting for.
Waiting for your love.
'Cause you, never leave.

[Verse 1: trill_xxandrew]
Yeah i fall apart, so lost i don't know where to start.
And this smoking catching up to me.
And I feel it deep inside my heart.
Heaviness and  pain inside my chest.
Need to quit before it gets the best of me.
I might end up six feet deep
Yeah this shit is killing me.
Damn, damn.
Man, this shit is killing me.
I don't know what to believe.
Damn, damn.
I wear my heart up on my sleeve.
Damn, damn.
You stole my heart you is a thief.

[Chorus: trill_xxandrew]
Fall apart, fall apart my love.
I've been waiting for, waiting for your love.
'Cause you, Never leave.

[Verse 2: Nimstarr]
I just wanna know when you'll come 'round.
You pick me up just to throw me on the ground.
Baby i want you to see some things that you wont like.
Baby loving with you ain't the same its like a cold night.
Yeah, I fall apart baby girl it ain't the same.
Juggin, and finessing run it up stay in my lane.
'Cause baby girl we fall apart.
Baby girl we fall apart.

[Chorus: trill_xxandrew]
Fall apart, fall apart my love. (my love)
I've been waiting for, waiting for your love. (your love)
'Cause you, Never leave.

Fall Apart (Ft. Nimstarr)

Art = Expression 
Journey of the mind
Join mine.

Fall Apart (Ft. Nimstarr)

TrillaMelodies