i love you so much, youre always on my mind.

You are my beautiful boy, and I love you so much. This song absolutely tears my heart apart. 💔💔💔

ever since the first time I heard this song I thought the answer to this question was yes. the past 2 years taught me I was right.

S O N G S 2 C R Y 2

thanks sm to   @pekarot_161

im sick of waiting come destrooy me now
laying in my bed wishing u were round
filling my name w poison all around
takn aim real quick cos ur gna shoot me down
jus to feel the hurt again made me look like a clown
thought i was fine without you but i feel it now
all these memories now, hidden beneath the ground
really loved ur house, oh where the fuk r u now

im sick of waiting come destrooy me now
laying in my bed wishing u were round
filling my name w poison all around
takn aim real quick ur gna shoot me down
jus to feel the hurt again made me look like a clown
bring myself to the pavement and theres blood on the ground

im sick of hurting cocme destrooy me now
laying in my bed wishing u were fukn round
but she was out to hurt me jus tryna crop me out
i find comfort in this hell aint got nothing left to sell
needa have a word with him its myself
everything that i do it go well
u know what do to break me down
still think of u cos im a clown
but she was out to hurt me jus tryna crop me out
i find comfort in this hell aint got nothing left to sell

thanks i guess it just gets worse

amv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LT7FyConbo
thank you all for the amazing support just in general.
love you all. take care
featuring my extremely talented friend @sleepywater 💙
prod. @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~
[autumn]
you ok?..

so i tell myself
don't die on me
don't lie to me

i lie here, ask how i'm doing
words out my mouth 
is it trash that i'm spewing?
i deserve hell for every wrongdoing
you sewed up my heart
just after i skewed it

hate when anybody talk to me
there's not a lot to me
i'm just distraught and weak
there's so much to do in the day (day)
what do i have to do to make you stay (stay)

how does this world expect me to keep going
when all that i have are depleting emotions
and all that i am is pathetic and hopeless
and all that i ask, and all that i ask is to leave

i'm begging please
i'm falling down
whenever you leave
don't make a sound
don't even breathe
i finished counting all my steps
a cliff they lead

[sleepwater]
i'll be ready, drowning
heart beat too fast; anxiety
in my hollow frame
lost cause, puppet brain

spewing my heart 
over a fire; got dark
will you be my ember 
stuck in a cauldron
do you remember when i was holding
your achy arms i was all upon it
you got my clothes but 
you could of stopped it
sorry for the vacancy i wish i locked
it was a fucking job to you 
i wish i stopped it

[autumn]
lawless; aching doesn't stop
isn't this what i wanted from you
i'm so awful

[sleepwater]
don't make a sound, don't make a scene
filling my lungs with nicotine 
oh damn ur the one that i'll ever need
damn ur the one that just let me be

[autumn]
(let me be)
don't really know why you like me
are you just starving
for someone's pysche?
i can hear the hounds
yeah they're howling in the darkness
wonder what they found
either molly or a carcass

[sleepwater]
im prowling in the twilight
everything you say now its a delight
maybe ur an angel in disguise 
fucking up my psyche, cutting all my ties

[autumn]
i cannot talk for long
there's somewhere i gotta be
the green of the forest it calls
yeah i got a date with the-
i got a date with the trees

tell me who i am
and who i'm supposed to be
won't be here for long
bitemarks made with teeth
the frostwalker it crawls
arriving at your feet
let it rest beneath...

puppet brain w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

ft @ripkais :)
prod hiraeth + sinxi
ENGALAND

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink
I only did it cause i had to
ur not who I think
and all my friends were tryna warn me
But I’m stupid as shit
i don’t know how id ever trust you
look what u did
i heard ur better off without me
I’ve got nothing to give

tell me what it cost me
im sinking in my body
memories floodin in of how I fkn lost me
I was never really here you can feel it
feel more claustrophobic the lower the ceiling

if you really don’t wanna talk to me don’t talk to me
know the only problem is the fkn honesty
I caught the leakin water drippin from your balcony
words cant fix this
and I just rly wanna stop fearin
the noises in my ceilin
im breathin real heavy
im anxious and im breakin
mistaken for a bad dream
I just want you happy,
but you wanna leave me in the car
body laid out in the backseat

ive had enough of it
let me out
ur turning love into a punishment
u let me drown
i swear were only arguing
she'll come around
i swear its so embarrassing
u let me down

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink

sink ft. kais

produced by sleepwater
piano by melon musik

wait for me in my next life
i swear that ill be fine
got three new chains on my neck fye
tell me im divine
got a deer trapped in the headlights
in a road full of pine
its coming near, following through me
i dont really mind if i die
through the window my neck and spine
i watched my body die
on the ground theres blood on the floor
never leave my side
tendants broken to the core
pendants my neck when im sore
penance she let her mourn
permanance purgatory
in doors

It's october, branches casting 
dont let go were everlasting
antidote w car fumes rising
way too close my hairs nearly frying
check his pulse a boy here is dying  
dont convulse a tear, see him trying
release from every joy now im crying
convinced u not to steer, into the dying

chemicals in my heart i feel so gloomy
with you youll tear me apart
im scared youd lose me

me
her

mourn

produced by sleepwater and leftquiet

we're all trapped in hell
cant contain it no more
im up in decibals
explaining alot, shut up u act like fool
i hate you i really i do
i go up in decibals
oh wait heres a pause i know
study my flaws you whore
i guess im sad bitch
that doesent mean im emo
i fell in love with you
thats not a thing anymore
you catch me chilling
i go up in decibels

GUESS IM PUTTING ALL INTO MY SONGS SO U LISTEN
TANKING BULLET HOLES EVERYDAY INSIDE MY PRISON
WHEN SHE LEFT SHE SAID AM I GONNA KMS 
THINK THAT I MIGHT END IT

baby dont go
happy at home
she thinks im happy she dont know
i would kill you gladly she turn ghost
i fucking need you badly you dont know
berry in my medly with bloodflow
try your best forget me i wont go
im someone who you envy, i switch flows
im fresher than some dead, ill grab a rose
im sitting in the backseat, when she awoke

I DONT WANNA USE YOU JUST DO IT YOURSELF
YOU CAN DRAG ME DOWN TOO BUT ILL FIND MY WAY OUT
i pump inside her mouth
travels down her throat
BABY DONT MAKE A SOUND
bitch she like grope
i bend her snap her spine
ill put you in a choke
ILL FUCK YOU IN THE PINE

everystep i take
doesent seem to stop my aches
twist it round and pull her face
do it now remove all grace
turn it down your ears might break
IVE GONE UP IN DECIBELS

decibel

follow heylog

@heylog

support heylog - spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/5Jf6pl4SGgueZHZ4pC313c?si=4gRVQC47SBql7WYQ8JUpeA

lyrics - 

give the kinda love that i need right back
kinda on the fence but i'll take my chance
tired of the mistakes making me sad
can't get the thought of you outta my head

where do i go?
who can i trust to leave me alone
put on a show then go home
dying to know
i hate and i loathe
written in stone the words saying
'love you'

i'm missing all the memories
i can feel your soul slowly making less of me
safe to say it hurt to watch you leave
now there's no one left to help me here

you're feeling alone on a friday evening
try to hold on love i'm trying to see you
i know you're hurting, you stumble bleeding
i'll keep you whole
you're scared 
you can hold my hand
we'll walk alone, no light to guide
but i know where your heart is
and i know how you're feeling now

let go don't cry just

you're sick to death of me
you hoped i feel the same but it's
just too much to leave here
i'm dealing with the shame of it
thinking that you loved me
i cry and medicate
it's just too much to intake
i'll try my fucking best i
didn't wanna calm down
i'm tryna come to terms with it
molded my emotion
to feel like you're controlling it
so what's it gonna take right now?
gotta keep my feet on the ground

now that love has washed away
contemplating life and i’m sure you can relate
and i’ve seen better days
recently been bitter what’s the point if i ain’t gonna make it in life
i’m always stuck by your side
and can you do me the same
and stay close to mine

don’t leave now i still haven’t kissed you
when you walk out my house i already miss you
let’s snuggle here in the back of my car
our eyes meet the galaxy, we’re counting the stars
my dad says i need to be home before eleven
but she does not want me leave, “logan stay a second” 
a couple hours isn’t very long to spend that time with you
and i finally got the gut to lean in and kiss you

mistake w/heylog

I hope u love it, enjoy <3

prod. me
https://soundcloud.com/nihil2free on guitar
collab with https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes
shoutout to both of them for real


lyrics:
i've been trying to fight off this gravity
can't have shit in this life its fucking comedy
seems to be i worked up on my honestly 
were still stressed, nothings left, somethings gotta be up
tell me that you don't give a fuck
i said, "okay see you in bit" 
crushed my hand with a mallet
ditch all my attachments and bring the fucking damage

keeping me up on a late night 
in deep, no sleep in my damn eyes 
you said you missed me i said, "damn right"
can't rest i'm stressed till the daylight

i could use a little bit of closure
fucking up my mental i've been distant and colder
they're so judgemental it sucks my composure
all i have left is what i should have told her

break me down to see myself
i've lost my mind
don't need your help.

now i get it
synthetic how they act around me tryna be my friends its pathetic.
i keep waking up to panic 
suppression locked in, i cant stop it.

gravity.deprived

spotify

produced by raspo

lyrics:

im so done you made me feel like im a ghost
i feel out of place and still have no one to call my home
if im a creep then your a weirdo
ill never ask for help, your the same as me

i feel lost in your eyes
do you feel the same as me
you can lie

i feel lost in your eyes
do you feel the same as me
you can lie

i can try
but i wont
be alive
for very long
i could cry
oh could you
if i died 
would you

lost

𝙞 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬
prod. kais
shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt & https://soundcloud.com/heylog for getting on this with me <3

lyrics:
(kais)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

(skele)
ooooo
there’s nobody here 
anymore 
look around
oh i wanted 
to feel 
you breaking down 
grab my throat 
need to feel something 
blood soaked house 
it won’t let me leave
scars won’t show 
but i feel them bleed 
n if i don’t choke 
would you be proud of 
me 
of me

(heylog)
don't look back at me
forget everything
hearing high-pitched rings
hanging by a string
I look up
what have I become?
oh god, you tell me to run
rooftops hidden by the snow
every limb appears white
and your body sits and glows
it glows

(kais, skele, & heylog)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

bound

bound w/skele & heylog

lights in the dark
feeling sick when you talk
was it easy to know?
is it easy to walk?
i feel weightless
gather dust in the basement

pressed in your clothes
act like nobody knows
that you made it to august to wake up alone
as its breaking
haven't spoke in the days since

i've been cautious and sober
he died in october 
he said that hes fine 
now the lights flicker slowly in bayview
couldn't face that they made you

i could finish early it could get so cold
raining in the summer and it takes me home
felt it more than life and how'd i let you go?
let you go

and the light doesn't know that im still here
but i'd rather take it away
and everythings all so familiar 
and i've not a thing left to say yet
better than watching
better than watching you pretend

Familiar

https://soundcloud.com/breckenford
https://soundcloud.com/user-642636378

support tha lads

So you wanna talk about another life yeah 
Maybe one where it went a little differently 
Maybe in that one we got it all right yeah
All we needed was a little consistency
And Yeah I wanna do it over  
I want to make it up 
I want to make it last a lifetime 
You’ve got my guarantee 
I’ll give you the refund if you like 

(halfhearted)
I’ve been walking down a long road 
Thought you were my back bone 
Always found my way back home but I 
I Hope it never hurts 
I know that I’m the worst 
karma working and it put me in the dirt 
I can still see the wine stain on my shirt 
Try to fix it, better burn it, cause it’s never gonna work 
If it’s all no guarantees, just know you have one half of me

So you wanna talk about another life yeah 
Maybe one where it went a little differently 
Maybe in that one we got it all right yeah
All we needed was a little consistency
And Yeah I wanna do it over  
I want to make it up 
I want to make it last a lifetime 
You’ve got my guarantee 
I’ll give you the refund if you like 

(brecken)
And if you really want me to leave you 
I’ll give you one last dance 
I’ll give you one more chance that you see me 
Without any blood on my hands 
I’ll tell you what you want you’ll believe me 
Just until I wake up to scram
You always thought that love was deceiving Yeah it is 
Yeah it is

guarantees ft. brecken + halfhearted (kingtheta)

prod: never forever 
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

put aside my emotion
i wasn't important 
he touched someone else
that night my body was forfeit
i like it when he record it 
watch it back and feel gorgeous 
i think i need help 
but i'm so good at ignoring,
ignoring it 

ima pour this bottle all out
till i feel my life breaking down 
and i hate myself even now 
don't know what that's all about
and i hate my songs 
won't show my face 
took a couple steps back 
went m.i.a
insane 
didn't learn my lesson 
nothing ever mattered when i try my best and
most days i just feel like a reject 
friends fake n then ask for my preset
hands up, 
asked god for a reason 
blood soaked and i beg for the meaning
most days wake up and i'm screaming 
and my body just shake like im fiending
painful, i remember the feeling 
stitch myself cause i dream i'm in pieces

important

prod. blank
lyrics: aren't we all a little terrified?
judging through a blinded eye
i seen what you saw but it wont suffice
it was in my head
but i seen your rose on the cliff edge
gravity would be proud
gravity would be proud
as it locks me in
and pulls me down
my decision was all mine
talk me out? you know im fine
this is what i wanted
this is where the plot ends
bury my bones all thats left
found my home here in the sand.

rose.mp3

Production: me :)
Vocals: @lilxlotus
art: https://twitter.com/lexijohnstonx
Lyrics

I don't think that i'll be fine and I can't do this
It's a struggle every night just to get through it

Look me straight in the eye, am I just wasting my time?
You had me waiting for hours and promised this wasn't good bye
And i'm not feeling alright, but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach, I can't get you out of my mind
I cant get you out of my mind
My mind
My mind
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind

Look me straight in the eye (I don't think that i'll be fine and I cant do this), am I just wasting my time?
You had me waiting for hours (Its a struggle every night just to get through it) and promised this wasn't good bye
And i'm not feeling alright (I don't think that i'll be fine and I cant do this), but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach (Its a struggle every night just to get through it) I cant get you out of mind
I cant get you out of mind

(look me straight in the eye, am I just wasting my time?)
My mind
(You had me waiting for hours and promised this wasn't good bye)
My mind, makes me sick to my stomach I cant get you out of my mind

And i'm not feeling alright, but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind
I cant get you out of my mind
My mind
My mind
My mind
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind

Out Of My Mind (ft. Lil Lotus)

A L L I D O I S R E P O S T
hope to produce something of my own someday

I (un)follow back

lost

sleepwaterss

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