The demo track I recorded for Eric Cartman vs Charlie Brown. Includes an early alternative version of Lucy's verse, as well as some alternative wording. "Suicide" had to be changed to get the video monetized.
Dated January 2024

Eric Cartman vs Charlie Brown - Eddie's Demo

I had to do at least one Texas battle as a Texan

Ego as The Engineer
Matt Raichous as Hank Hill
Writing by Alchemyking
Beat by Beatg33kz
Arrangement by Alchemyking
Mixing and mastering by Danii
Cover art by Matt Raichous
Special thanks to: Molliebdenite, SPM1000

The Engineer:
You wanna sit with me a while? Come and have a seat
But with that physique, you’d just slip right off with your flat asscheeks
Just a middle-aged schlub, I’m not missing your ilk
Dominate this bland dad, now I’m the King of the Hill

I’d rather watch the Mann brothers’ feud than your family squabbles
‘Cause while I’m handling shotguns, you just solve practical problems
Maybe get your wife to teach you sex ed next time, ‘cause I met her
Then I Pegged her, and we got to work erectin’ a dispenser

From Laotians to drag queens, you’re just spreading your hate
Did you teleport all your bread? You’re fifteen years out of date
I’d cock my shotgun, shoot all your tanks, and show you what real pro pain is
Won’t rest til your place is flaming — (cocks shotgun) Makin’ bacon!

Hank Hill:
I tried to join your lobby, but I had to take my leave
‘Cause every other game I entered was just Mann vs. Machines
I can’t stand you in the least, always goin’ off with thoughtless words
You sound so damn crazy, I should call you Dale Conagher!

(BWAAAAAH!) You wanna beef with me? A grilling natural?
All your lines were undercooked, because your heart is black as coal
I tell ya what, you mess with me, and things get messy
If you think I’m just a sap, that means I’ll still take down your sentries!

And let me tell you, that Scout should go and back outta this fight
I don’t care how buoyant he is, that boy ain’t right!
That hat you’re wearing fits you, ‘cause you’re so hard-headed
But your company’s so short-handed, you can’t fix it with prosthetics

The Engineer:
Heh… catch of the day, much? I thought I’d have to wait
But you took my bait right at the start like it’s crack cocaine
And stop pickin’ on Scout! Do I need to get it through your cranium?
He always bats for us, you were just born in Yankee Stadium

You’re not a true Texan! You’re callin’ me dumb with that head of yours?
And how are you so cold when you do chores in blazing temperatures?
Got it! Your father doesn’t want ‘ya, and you make it everyone’s problem
You tower over him, and you still get picked on by Cotton

Hank Hill:
You’re crackin’ jokes ‘bout my dead daddy, and you think I’d laugh?!
I’ll make like the mods in all your lobbies when I kick your ass!
My papa was a hero, and he fought through countless war scenes
You’re such a sadsack soldier, I’d rather listen to Dauterive

So why don’t you mosey back to your recliner ‘fore your next bout?
Even with your memes, for your team, you’d never stick your neck out
The King’s secured his crown, so I’ll go back to flipping burgers
While you take out your wrench and try in vain to fix your servers

Hank Hill vs. The Engineer - AK Rap Battles

Leo Barqui as Dimentio
Lee Bergantino as The Collector
Sanpie as Nastasia
Lew Kreerdun as O’Chunks
Jingleberry as Mimi
Writing by Alchemyking
Art by Lew Kreerdun
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat arrangement by TheNauticalClaydol
Mixing by Jordy
Cover art by LimJJ
Special thanks: garbageGothic, DreyahVA, Fightmarker, Lee Bergantino, MetaStarVA

Dimentio:
OHOHOHOHO! 
I am Dimentio! The one who always wrecks the Bros.! The one who flips between friend and foe!
Yet I don’t think the challenge that Bleck foretold was… babysitting a ten-year-old?
Yes, it’s the Collector’s show! Though like the creature that protects your home
You’re sure to put me to sleep… and that’s set in stone!

A temper tantrum’s the only way you’d attack who you’re fighting
So go back to your whining, ‘cause it’s a clash of the Titans
You’re crafting whole islands from corpses for your machinations
But a curse is the only way anyone’d be attached to your creations

I’m a right hand man! Got my boss in my palm, even though I was cast from nothing
Some god you are! Belos pulls the strings like you’re a shadow puppet
Your goals were so barebones that he threw you into a pit full of skeletons
Now you’re trapped inside that mirror… maybe work on some self-reflection, kid

The Collector:
I’M BOOOOORED! To play a game, you know how far I’d go
But I have to draw the line at… Super Paper Mario? (BLEH!)
Okay, I’ll humor you if you’re promising a festival
But none of your antics can change that you’re not even two-dimensional! (HAHA!)

So what’s your favorite activity? Well, skimming through your plot bits
We could play tag… but that wouldn’t work. (Why?) ‘Cause you’re not it! (OHHH!)
We could pillow fight, but based on all the scenes you’ve fought in
Like Fracktail, you’re simply ro… wait, that line doesn’t work! DARN IT!

But still, citizens always remember me when they see the sky
You need to plant seeds in them to stick in people’s minds
I learned how to make amends, but I can’t forget the way you betrayed your friends
But you can still be my doll, we’ll play pretend! I never want our game to end!

Dimentio:
Play pretend with me? Please! Winning tag’s the only way you’d ever hit me
To shut you down, I don’t need Dimension D - I just need Dimension Disney
The only people who act worshipful to you are a murderous cult
Yet no matter how many Titans they slaughter, that point can’t get through your sturdy skull

But don’t take it from me, the story’s etched deep in slabs
Of how your family thinks you’ll never be a man
So they left you playing hide and seek, then ran
Now you’re really a lost boy, Peter Pan
Doesn’t matter if you’re Flipping Sides
Your powers ain’t effective in fixing lives
I’ll wave “Ciao!” as you leave that witch to die
That’s the only time Luz sees you in a different light

The Collector
On second thought, a Picasso’s not worth adding to my halls of art
Stay behind with your loser entourage, you ain’t controlling this chaotic heart!
Of COURSE you’d come up short when you fused with Mr. L
But I like a fair game, so I’ll let your coworkers speak for themselves!

(The Collector takes control of Nastasia, O’Chunks, and Mimi like puppets)

"Your performance review’s lacking… and I don’t mean theatrics"
"‘Tis right! With all yer acting, ye’ve dealt way too much hammage!"
"I SPIT on you! Got beat by hearts, but you don’t deserve affection!"
I guess when he self-destructed, he blew his shot at redemption! (KABOOM! HAHAHAHA!)

The Collector vs. Dimentio - Disney Rap Battles! (The Owl House vs. Super Paper Mario)

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Stofferex as Nostalgia Critic
??? as Anthony Fantano / Cal Chuchesta

Nooby as Tyler, the Creator
Pixel Chris as Eminem
Danii as Drake

Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Written by: Danii
Mixed and Mastered by: Danii

Lyrics:

Nostalgia:
Hello
I’m the Nostalgia Critic, I touch myself so you don’t have to
If you’re the world’s greatest critic, I might just have to slap you
Known for shitty takes that make me wanna cut your access
Your fans lost approval so you get it from your black ex
You’d rather suck off Death Grips longer ‘fore you battle me at all
‘Cause I could also get big from screaming and throwing glass at walls

Get get get get
Got got got got
Blood rush to my
Head lit hot lock
Poppin' off the
Fuckin' block knot
Clockin' wrist slit
Watch bent thought bot
AHHHHHHHH!!!!

No wonder you’re Melonhead! No one eats your seed
Arguing with kids ‘bout politics sounds pretty uncool to me
Anthony, you’re not foolin’ me! Climbing up to me is one more boulder
‘Cause your career already died when you put away VULTURES

Anthony:
Hi everyone, nostalgthany critictano, the busiest music nerd
I just had to listen to Doug spew a verse
It’s pretty clear that with his lack of humor comes with a lack of bars too
I’d be glad to front, let’s argue
Doug has this thing where he makes false accusations in references
For..humor? Superiority? I’m not getting this
With lines like “your takes want me to cut off your access
Your fans lost approval so you get it from your black ex”
He bit off more than he can chew, I guess, I just think he’s lame
He’s rocking teeth that look like my flannels, while I’ve the best teeth in the game
If you make CinemaSins 40 minutes and unfunny
Then you’re basically getting slightly a better experience than his-

Nostalgia:
Is he gonna refer to me like I’m not even fucking here the whole time?

Alright, nerd, I think I see the issues
‘Cause I don’t know what made you cry harder; Mac Miller or your sound being used?
I’m not who you argue with on stream, but your points, I won’t listen
Fuck you, rap battle, I wish I could be big in music if I study..
Journalism? This man’s a fucking fake
He should make like when he does grow hair and run away
You’re a fearmongering, topster-glazing, nazi loving asshole!
And now I’ll bring my friends in so they run the fade

Tyler, the Creator:
Your disses are trash, regardless of listens

Nostalgia:
Well, I meant my friends back at-

*Tyler gets shot*

Eminem:
Tell me how you’re gonna give us bad ratings when you gave all the shitty albums a 10 and I can’t stand you Anthony

Nostalgia:
Alright, this is-

*Eminem gets shot*

Drake:
Anthony, your disses are a light zero…..

Nostalgia:
What, the pedophile doesn’t shot?-

*Drake gets shot*

Nostalgia:
Who the fuck has my gun?

Cal:
Yeah!

Anthony:
Hey, put that back

Cal:
No!

Anthony:
Uh, okay
It appears even after Wall, you have nothing to say
With the same flows, same jokes, same lines that suck chodes
And never been on fire since “I was frozen today!”
The inconsistency in this one is abysmal
Since his verses was so cancer, he got main character syndrome
Maybe he should’ve retired back in 2012 for better
And I’m giving this a light to strong 3 on this record, tran
sition


{SCRAPPED DEMO} Nostalgia Critic vs. Anthony Fantano

Vanes as Roxanne Wolf

TaigaTonic as Claptrap

Beat by Diamond Style
Mixed by: Danii
Written by: TaigaTonic
Thumbnail by: M!CAH
Art by: Xoniq and Snakebite126
Special Thanks: garbageGothic, HazelMoth, JustGamer, TAFox, & Grasman

Roxanne:
You can already hear the fans scream my name while I play
So I thought I told you S.T.A.F.F. bots to stay outta my way!
(Ugh!) Do I really have to deal with more pests
I guess let's get this party started because I AM THE BEST! (YEAH!)

You like to gamble? Fazcade can get you back on track
Cause you took your films budget and put it all on Black
Like Bonnie you were worried about a strike when you dropped the ball
And act surprised when you had realized that you lost it all

Nobody cared for your birthday, so you tried to invite the whole town?
I guess you gotta have moxie, but even she turned you down
Sad, since that open door stays a core part of your life
But blabber bout me to your bandits, It’s all bark and no bite

Claptrap:
How’s it going friend! My name is Claptrap!
And you should know that I’m programmed to spit some phat raps!
But I gotta ask, cause my servers still needs to wake up
Why does a final product need to be made up with makeup?

All it took was 1 kid before you started getting bothered
“It's all bark and no bite” Until you’re tearing up toddlers
Then you're tearing in the mirror cause the “wannabe’s” don't like you
If that's how you treat yourself, then I don’t wanna be like you

But OF COURSE you were appealing to no one but lonely dweebs
Cause this dumb dog playing rough is what kept them on a leash
You're not that much of a bad ass, so this will be your last act
Cause you have fallen TO THE GREAT ALMIGHTY CLAPTRA-AHHHH

Roxanne:
GOD you're so annoying no wonder everyone grew bitter
Since a best friend dies and people treat you like the mood killer (Hey Friend?)
If some losers hadn't shown sympathy you wouldn't get far (Buddy…)
Cause you- HEY! WHAT! Look out for the (AH-) (crash sfx) kart…

Get this through your head, you're a screw up and know its true
Blew up Overlook cause no one cared to look over you
And once the townspeople thought you couldn't make things worse
You started burning bridges and killed everyone in the church

You’re pathetic! So every team wanted to do nothing but rid you
And you scrapped up your love life, just for it to also ditch you
When it blew up in your face no one was standing there with you
So when you're staring at a barrel, know nobody’s gonna miss you

Claptrap:
At least I’m not the garbage that your fans like to eat up
Cause I’m covered in less grease than a single slice of your pizza
I mean is that the shit that you've been dishing out this whole time?
If beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, NO WONDER you went blind (HA!)

You always wanted to have your big break in the spotlight
But your time for a photo finished the second that you got sidelined
Thought you could mask your loss with more makeup but the truth is
You're just another hunk of junk, now your foundation’s in ruins

And nobody wants to see your ass on the stage
So you can… BEEP BOOP while I BOOP BEEP on your grave
Now I leave to squabble with the rest of my minions
Cause my greatness was something you couldn't rise from the Mimic


Roxanne Wolf vs Claptrap - Five Nights at Freddy's vs Borderlands - Rap Battle! Ft. Vanes

B-Lo Lorbes as Shang Tsung
Pearl Vox as Tsumugi Shirogane
LimJJ as Byakuya Togami
RNG as Gundham Tanaka
Rosenthal as Nagito Komaeda
Acemusic as Junko Enoshima
JustGamer as Dark Raiden
Beat produced by Epistra
Written by Trakked, AshleyMagica, Acemusic and KajikaSong
Additional help by PowerPoint Rap Battles and Walk
Mixed by Jordy
Art by SkydivingQuagga and TomPuffs
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

Shang Tsung: (0:23)
(laughter) Pleasure to have your acquaintance, miss.
The name is Shang, and I'll spare no trouble to vanquish this.
Do not test my patience. I've many waiting to see a fight,
And see demise with their own eyes ; so, what will it be tonight?
Your soul couldn't feed me, please! You're a weakling creature that thinks she brings
All the things to be a good TV series on DVD and for the kids to stream
But you see, they bleed for a meaningless reason. I've faced DC and I'm a fiendish beast.
That story was deeper than V3s scenes. You should have no need for Kiibo's screen to deceive.
(Agh) You're utterly worthless and running a circus to show off your freaks
You could not possibly hurt this, my tournament's purpose is to kill off all of the weak
No, I do not want you to speak (agh), lest you wish to be Kondemned to the Damned
If competence is what you seek, then I suggest you leave your friends in my hands.

Tsumugi Shirogane: (1:10)
Uh.. Can you make this quick? You're wasting our class's time
You're not a culprit, and you're certainly no mastermind
You convince yourself that you've done much worse than the blackeneds' crimes
I'll put it blunt just like Kokichi… that's a lie.
Like him, you’re conniving, I’m sure you could find a placement
In our roster, but your ratings are used to Annihilation 
You want to take my soul? Well, I'm not your games, I won't buy it
Mortal Kombat and it's Guests; That's a REAL Deadly Alliance
To make yourself look younger, you’re stealing souls, you’re a fake ‘cause
I could easily achieve that with just a layer of makeup
You know your life’s a lie, it doesn’t matter how you fight it
In the end, they took your story and decided to completely rewrite it

Gundham costume:
A demon past his prime… My malice surpasses you!

Nagito costume:
You’re just a stepping stone for all of the villains after you…

Byakuya costume:
Done licking Shao’s boots? You can’t possibly be stopping this.

Junko costume:
You want some tips for trickery? Tune in to Danganronpa, bitch! 

Shang Tsung:
Cease, Shirogane, before you doom your bloodline.
It seems I speak too late, for you confuse it with your love life
From cospox to plot holes, your writing had a slow demise
Thus you’ll suffer another crushing, now your soul is mine!
(*laughter*)
You speak with the Keeper of Time; I'll beat and rewind your demise to remind you you're weak and you'll find 
that my peak is divine, you may seem to be fine but you reek of the lies that your series defined
You can tell by your eyes; your disguises are see-through
You're the ultimate cosplayer, but nobody wants to be you.
Perhaps I have a potion that could make your mind less clouded
You gave your life to the game but can’t afford to live without it

Raiden:
May the Elder Gods have mercy as you take your final breath
For I won’t be so forgiving; There are fates worse than death.

Tsumugi Shirogane:
All your needless ceaseless reboots show your writers deserve punishment
They crammed in titans and timelines and decided to run with it
The outside world is watching you, but they don’t seem to care
So I’ll give them what they want and end your story in despair
There is no hope for you, just like with all the others
‘Cause I’m only adding to the countless defeats that you’ve suffered
So own up to the execution that’s born from your ambition
Your win… your reality.. they were always.. fiction.



Shang Tsung vs Tsumugi Shirogane - Rap Cypher #41

Jordy as The Judge
ENNWAY as Misfortune.gb
Beat produced by HERA
Written by Trakked, Syphonstick
Mixed by ENNWAY
Art by BMB
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:

Judge:
No other being resides here as I sit in silence and ponder my thoughts
But now you’ve arrived. You’ve had the chance to advance but alas, I'll be turning you OFF. (turning you OFF)
So full of hot air and arrogance; your schemes will come to an end when it’s me that you’re faring with
I shall sit staring for now, because soon I’ll be burning this god. (burning this god)
I haven’t introduced myself. I am The Judge of your sins, so let us begin
You abysmal scum, they’re infinite, your only life goal’s causing death on a whim
You’re not of flesh and blood, you’re a spectre; an amalgamation made from games you’ve stolen from
Or you may be a figment of my imagination, one rupture and this omen’s stunned.


Misfortune.gb:
I’m not a ghost, you’re mistaken. I exist within the fabric of reality.
I came here to play with you, Pablo. Do you wish to challenge me?
Well, let’s play a game, shall we? I’ll begin by listing off all of your fallacies;
You wish to have a match with me? Your judgement’s black and white, like what the Batter sees.
Watch your tongue, ‘cause your flow is abhorrent; so stiff and rigid, I would figure it was rigor Mortis
Don’t pick a fight with an imp, you’ll be floored when I scorch you and turn your family into corpses
This cat can speak, but he’s wasting his breath; I’m a worse threat than Japeth, for you and your lost passion
You’re so insistent in chasing your death; if you want to see your brother again, choose the WRONG cabin… (hehehe…)

Judge:
What is your motive, acquaintance? If you wish to cause me pain, then
You seem to be sorely mistaken. You’re so complacent inside of your game and
You’re not quite skilled in the art of violent confrontation; a mistake, that you chose to face me 
You claim that you pull the strings, but you’re a puppet yourself; isn’t that right, Casey?
My abilities are multifaceted; anyone who’s ever played you found you by accident
Once you gave a riddle to the players to answer, they tossed you back into the trash again.
Your feeble existence will come to an end; perhaps it’d be best if they would all forget you
A shell of yourself that is sent in from Hell; hence nothing remains, except for regrets, too.

Misfortune.gb: 
Lost all your valor ‘cause Valerie died; became so sad, threw your pal to the side
He grabbed his bat, then went to attack, you tried to scratch, but then he demolished you
Best watch your back ‘fore misfortune befalls you, you were replaced by a man in a costume
The player forgot you and Batter offed you for speaking in riddles for half of the time
(hehehe) You’re so incompetent, honestly, this game was over before it began
You sat back and watched a man from God crumble your world to sand
Your struggles were for naught, my friend, so watch as I draw near
No need for your judgment now. I am God here.


The Judge vs Misfortune.gb - Rap Cypher #43

Corpse play

RESIDENT EVIL

Season 3 begins.

JacobSZ as Professor Utonium
Miss Shellah as Princess Bubblegum

Princess Bubblegum:
Stepping to royalty, have you taken Chemical Ecstasy?
I’ll ruin Samurai ‘Jack-off’’ like Craig McCracken’s legacy
Are your super Bratz with you? ‘Cuz if not- you better ring ‘em 
So they can witness disses sweeter than the entire Candy Kingdom 
You’re nutty, Professor; getting messed up by Bubblegum 
I made a whole species, I pack a Cinnamon Punch 
This specimen’s whack, yo: he lacks my rap Mojo 
I be bursting your Bubbles with mathematical flow (ohhh)

Professor Utonium: 
Sugar! Lines tasteful unlike your lemon Frankenstein 
Your stale plot’s like old gum, a real King’ll put it on Ice
Dropping rhythm and rhymes to simply Spice up this fight 
Cause on the mic, I’m anything but Everything Nice!
Mixing you up like your DNA ‘n’ you’re making me tired
Like all your countless attempts to sink your teeth into a Vampire 
You’re worn out, Bonnie. Looks like you’ve been chewed up
And seconds separated from always being “Too Young”
 
Princess Bubblegum:
Better than being a crusty Earl Grey with Lemon sourness
Who sends three little girls daily to get devoured, yes?
I’m pushing to my Goal-iad; a Blockhead’s resignation
Who’s even more of an accident than his own creations!

Professor Utonium:
Well unlike your freaks, mine were made to save the day!
Blossoming into responsibility, taking targets their way
You dominate your citizens, it’s no surprise they piked it
Girls, this is why you should never be Adventure two-Timing.

Beat by Kustom
Written by Fel, ChaoProductions, Legion, Skeep, Walk, Anthony


JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Amateur Rap Battles