بلدى الحبيبة

حب من طرف واحد

احمد معوض - جبت أخرى

I can't stand to be in this place 

I want to break the mirror every time I go to take a piss

Why am I alive I've found no real place to call my own to say I created something that meant something that could free a woman or man from the isolation I just want to tie this noose no one ever really give a fuck. Was it all a waste of time as of today I think so or maybe I'm fucking just to dead.

I never wanted to be born I hate that you even had the thought and heart to have me

To bring me into a world so worthless so meaningless it's all just an illusion 

I didn't ask for this shit 

As my life falls into the pits

I scream raising my fists 

This world

Is so fucked up

I am going to end it so soon that the blade won't notice it's red with a taste of copper under my tongue  

All I want to do is throw up 

I want to end this earth 

I want to cut my throat 

I want to just stop functioning I have nothing left to live nothing left to experience I'm just so pissed off in the end this is what I got for surviving hell on earth, I may talk a lot about suicide but it ideation. All I need is that one push to make me cut so deep my bones screams Being eaten alive would be better than this life 

This fucking life of mine

hating myself build with no fear fuck I can't feel ramose they say I don't have a consumes what the fuck ever 

 if you eared it I will pay you with personal engineered pain and make you choke on everyone of your words you twisted from memories you know that are lies being used to guilty me into feeling so bad for you.

Fuckers did you ever wonder why I never told any of you a fucking thing I was to afraid you would use it as a weapon  against me  smash them back into your face I so god damn done with this world I can't buy a gun but I got this knife and all this illegal chemical drowning in a vat of insanity as I mainline another catastrophe 

When the world is so dead and the people so disconnect by the color of your TVs and everything you consume you just don't your 

I want to cut myself again I've been recovery so long 

There's nothing I'm good at that get me anywhere I dream to go

but it seems there's just nothing but this feeling of emptiness eating at my inner self 

Intrusive thought raiding  my brain I want to claw out my eyes thought telling me to kill myself all morning noon and night for every sun rise and sun fall of my life I have never wanted to be alive I want to just slit my throat and get eatten by wovles isn't that what I desvere I wasted this life when I knew life was the biggest joke or you could say what we all think lifes patterens of the cycles of growing to die and be forgotten in the tears and dust of your families hearts but what if they fucking knew they were the start the beginning the cause.

When I pick up that first razor blade and slit my wrist just to lie to you saying it was an accident as you rush me to the hospital as I bleeding all over the carpet floor I just start at the opened wound and all the pumping veins not feeling anything 

I wish I had meaning 

I wish I Reason to really want to live 

There's nothing I want to buy there's nothing money can give since I know when I was born I was blissed with being a poor pieces of self hating trash 

I hope one day something good happens so I maybe might feel like I accomplished something inside and wasting rotting away in my home bed rot let me fucking rot let fucking rot I can't stand to be in this world I'll let myself rot in this bed until I drowned 

I can't stand to be in this place It was all a Waste of Time

يلا نعيش -احمد جمال في مصر

 ياحياااااتي ياما حلمنا باليوم دا وصبرنا ياعمري كتيييير
و اخييييييييييييييرا هيجمع بينا بيت واحد وحب ف قلوبنا كبييير
ياحبيبي انا مرتااااااااااااااحه وقلبي مطمن عشان ويااااك
وسنيني هتبقا احلي عشان ياحبيبي هعيشها معااااك 

زاب ثروت - أنت مش اناني (اغنية جوميا)

Jumia Egypt - جوميا مصر