ASYLUM - Julia Alexa

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[LYRICS]
kinda wish that i could just stop writing
cause when i am writing i got pain inside my silence
hearing all the things you say, i want to scream "QUIET!"
you say my life is perfect, i know i dont deserve it
what you see as a perfect front is really a facade
i built it during many sleepless nights i cant recall
you think i got my life under control but i think not
its getting hard to breathe with all this pressure building up
nothing that i ever do really seems to work
yet it feels like you expect me to perform without a quirk
you say that you are jealous and somehow it kinda hurts
i hurt as much as you, i know that im not worth
any fucking thing, feels like a part of me died
and lately ive been slipping lost control of my life
im panicking, i swear im running out of damn time
sit in my room, cant muster up a sound

the silence is so loud i think it numbed my vocal chords
gasping out for air, its time to perform
scream your thoughts into the night, and join into the chorus
but keep some to yourself, cause they dont want to hear your storm
nothing feels like home, i know i dont belong here
everywhere i go i know they wishing i was not there
sorry for the inconveniece when i appear
i really want to live in peace, but my thoughts interfere
so i am closing up, just like a shell, im smiling big towards you
hope that i can fool you with my act that hides the full view
tring to figure out just exactly what to do
sometimes i wish to burn up,     and be born anew
starring at the moon i really think it shines so bright
yet one part is in the dark, it looks so funny in the night
debating with myself on how to make everything right
i hurt as much as you, no im not alright

i hurt as much as you do (Prod. jxsie beats)

Lyrics :

Half these dudes tryna get to me so they using you 
Anything to try and push my buttons maybe loosen screws 
They don’t know it’s none to push up on em jus a flight or two 
Shoulda never let me grab a mic n get my vibe n tune 
My baby mama keep trippin she got my vibe outta line 
The way she keeps on tryna walk in and out of my life 
I’ve never met a person who prioritizes my life 
So I got used to keeping my darkest thoughts tucked inside 
When people die they’re often missed in the strangest ways 
I don’t gotta stress that I’m never getting replaced 
If I leave then I left you only stand in my place 
 Shorty tryna forget me but then admits it’s a phase 
If you asked my opinion she treating this like a game 
It’s a shame you thinking bout me whether asleep or awake 
Me I sleep fine I ain’t had a bad dream in days 
The shit I hallucinate these days don’t contain yo face
How many times can I keep dying on the inside 
And reaching out for help from the people to my side 
Beggin with em pleading with emto help me revive 
I still remember every time that you left me to die 
How many more funerals in this life can i attend 
How many bridges can I walk across  or try to mend 
I couldn’t even  find god at this point if I tried to repent 
Doing all these drugs can’t really be how my life gets spent 
If you really loved me then you wouldn’t always leave 
You wouldn’t turn around as soon as you get within reach 
You’d listen to the same type of shit that you always preach 
I just had to see you want problems and never peace

Solitude Freestyle (prod. Dae Wylder)

How To Train Your Dragon Trap

poison myself - Julia Alexa

if design dictates function, what am i? w/ autumn keys

Gustav Ahr's Album

hellboy (prod smokeasac x yung cortex)

produced by @jhfly
mixed by @halberd-3000

lyrics:

you know it's they/them, as in me and most of mine
some identical identity, i keep 'em close beside
open old wounds just enough to bleed out older lines
'til there's no truths left, and i concede to close my eyes

and even though the sleet and snow are peeking through the blinds
i still meet them on my morning walk, sheepishly surprised
used to think this skittish brain might need to be inside
'til neurosis was a locksmith with a key to where i hide

now i keep ice on me, that shit froze
not like diamonds, though--it's april and we still been gettin' snow
but me and all my friends are 'bouta hit the road
not for tour, tho, i really just enjoyed it when we drove, 'cause

you're way less likely to get stared at
by an old white man in a moving car
and yes, i see that really neat flag on your window
are you quite aware that you guys lost the war?

and, yes, i did use the gender neutral bathroom
what is your concern with what i've got going on?
you can fight me in this walmart if you want to
but when you get your ass beat, don't pull out your AR

yes, my fucking nails are painted! what, you think i didn't know?
yes, i wore a skirt today! what's with all the rigmarole?
yes, i've got some makeup on, and yes, bitch, i look beautiful
so 'fore you ask another question, you can get to getting ghost

flowers ep

they/them (prod. jhfly)

lyrics:
i can destroy this
at any moment
i stood at the edge of the earth
you looked at me
threw your eyes into the sea
so i wouldnt have to
i wouldnt have to
i lost track
of the time we had left
oh i dissasociated
and i lost my concentration
i looked back
at the city still intact
was this all a dream?
am i still asleep?

sea monsters on their way
you made a mistake
sea monsters on their way
you made a mistake

i can destroy this
at any moment
i stood at the edge of the earth
dont look at me
i cant feel a thing
im sorry

"waiting" (feat. Shiloh Dynasti)

Elias Wirström

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