I recorded an instrumental version of the same hymn two years ago when a sister taught it to me. Now, I had the feeling to record it again, after all the experiences the Lord has given this year.

I really enjoyed the third stanza of this hymn:
"Just rest, He knows;
With Him blindness is pleasant!
Just rest, He knows;
Sightless, you see Him best!
Just rest, He knows;
My soul, don’t waste the present
On those “what-if’s“.
Just turn to Him and rest!"

After almost two years of the pandemic, I felt hopeful entering into 2022, thinking that perhaps it held better hopes for more freedom and a sense of normality that we knew before everything came "crashing down".

However, in January, COVID hit our household to such an extent that I didn't see coming. I even came to a point of thinking that maybe I'll lose a family member to this virus--spending days at the hospital with a seeming plethora of medication just to get better. It was such a grueling time, a battle in my mind, a severe weakening of my faith, and I thought it was the end for me; I was in fight mode, endeavoring for survival against all the aspects of depression. I forgot my spirit. I didn't think it would help. "I just needed to get things done," I said to myself.

Everyone recovered eventually, thank the Lord. But my mind remained traumatized. The scenes kept coming back, and I dreaded every time night came because the eerie silence reminded me of the calm before the storm. For months on end, I would lay in bed 'til the wee hours of the morning--unable to sleep--paralyzed with the fear of extreme possibilities. My mind was filled with SOOOO MANY "what if's": What if it happens again? What if I can't cope? What if there won't be enough supply to meet the need?

These thoughts occupied my mind endlessly. I felt like my spirit was so powerless against my raging mind, which triggered my emotions, and caused my body to suffer the consequences as well. The sightlessness drove me to my wit's end. I think, deep in my heart, I was angry at the Lord for giving me such a heavy burden again. I was complaining, "Why does this keep happening to me?!" I had no rest in my tripartite being. But one message struck me concerning "God's Economy in Faith" during a working ones' conference.

It posed a question: "Do you believe that He (God) is repeating all the things He did in the past? No. He is not repeating anything. He is always moving forward." But what about you? Are you stuck in the past? Are you a person of yesterday?

I was indeed severely hindered by the past. I couldn't move on. The events of the past fueled an increasing amount of unbelief. What a shameful situation I was in. Every day, I felt like I was drowning, like Peter started sinking when he looked at the waves. I couldn't help it. The waves were so huge, ones I've never encountered in such magnitude.

Rest comes when we look at the Lord, and it seems I still haven't been perfected in this aspect especially when it concerns family--family is such a blind side for me. Everything else just fades, even my spirit, when it boils down to this.

In the end, I'm thankful to the Lord for exposing me of my shortage in this matter. I thought I was okay...I wasn't. But I acknowledge that I am still in the process, and I thank the Lord and all the saints for really carrying us in prayer. It was way beyond my capacity; I despaired of living. 

One last thing. The brother mentioned such an encouraging word.
"What should we do if we recognize unbelief?
We say, "I BELIEVE!"
"LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF!"

This brings us to the chorus of the hymn:
"Thank and praise You, Jesus!
Through all unknowns,
You make Yourself so dear!"

I still love You, Lord. You are dearer than before!

(Link to full lyrics: https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/34)

Fear Not, He Knows (NS34)

A Higher View (Prod Me with Your Loving Hands)

2023 05 6GC - Where are You?

I Had a Debt I Could Not Pay - Song

O Jesus, I Have Promised (Hymn 465, new tune)

God Is Pleased

The spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet ;
The Word declares it so.
I don't have to wait for an inspiration,
My spirit is ready to go.
I don't have to live according to my feelings,
Or wait for a better day,
I can turn, I can call, "Lord Jesus !"

Calling O Lord Jesus,
How it makes our spirit strong.
We can really touch Him,
And our gloom is turned to song.
Don't listen to Satan 
With all his distractions,
Just turn to your spirit
And spring into action.
Calling O Lord Jesus,
You'll enjoy Him all day long.

The Spirit of the Prophet / Calling O Lord Jesus (Mashup)

1. Juste un toucher, cher Seigneur,
Juste un regard dans Tes yeux.
Un baiser de Toi,
C’est tout ce que je veux.

Fais-moi entendre Ta voix ;
Enfin Tu es mon seul choix.
D’amour remplis-moi,
Je donne tout pour Toi . 

Rien ni personne ne me satisfait sauf Toi, cher Seigneur.
Jésus, je T’aime ! Tu es mon seul désir,
Seigneur ! Ô que je T’aime !

2. Je veux Te toucher encore ;
De plus en plus je T’adore.
Tu es le meilleur ; 
Pourquoi chercher ailleurs ?

De Ta bouche Tes baisers
Me conduisent à Te louer.
Mieux que le vin,
Vaut Ton amour sans fin !

Rien ni personne ne me satisfait sauf Toi, cher Seigneur.
Mon premier amour, ô brûle en mon esprit, 
Seigneur ! Mon seul désir !

3. Par Tes yeux infuse-moi ;
Un en esprit, quelle joie !
En Te contemplant,
Je suis rempli de Toi.  

Ô que Toi me satisfais ;
Tu m’es plus cher que jamais.
Prés de Toi, je prie ;
Uni à Toi, je vis !

Rien ni personne ne me satisfait sauf Toi, cher Seigneur.
Jésus, je T’aime ! Tu es mon seul désir,
Seigneur, rends-moi brulant !

4. Je me repens et reviens ;
Mon cœur brûlant T’appartient.
Ravive mon zèle,
En moi sois si réel ! ( x 2)

Jésus, mon Amour ! Tu es mon seul Amour !
À Toi je reviens.
Jésus, mon Amour ! Tu es mon seul Amour ! 
Seigneur ! Ô que je T’aime !

Juste Un Toucher Cher Seigneur (Just One Touch of You, Dear Lord)

06 A Little Bird I Am

Recently (about a couple of months ago) I learnt a new song! What strikes me about the Bible as the word of God is that it isn't merely a book for us to know about God, but even more it is what we live on, and it is our very treasure. This hasn't always been my experience, but little by little, day by day I'm learning to muse upon the living word of God, words which are spirit and are life :)

Below are verses to refer to in relation to this song:

Job 23:12b I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my apportioned food.

Matthew 4:4 But He answered and said, It is written, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out through the mouth of God."

John 6:63b ... the words which I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.

John 6:51a I am the living bread which came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he shall live forever;

--- Playable with 4 Chords (C-G-Am-F) ---

1. I have treasured Your word
More than my daily bread
I have treasured Your word
More than my daily bread.

2. Man shall not live by bread alone
But on every word that
Proceeds out through the mouth of God
Out through the mouth of God.

3. You word enlivens
Your word revives
Your words are spirit
Your words are life.

I am the living bread,
Which came down out of heaven,
If anyone,
If anyone eats of this bread
He shall live forever.

4. I've been enlivened
I've been revived
I have the Spirit
I have the life.

I Had a Debt I Could Not Pay - Song

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