hyperpop

i wanna slam my head against the wall

botted at 8k :-(

guitars by @fish_narc, @blackwinterwells and me
produced, backing vocals, mixed and mastered by @blackwinterwells
art by oldsmobile1994: https://www.instagram.com/oldsmobile1994

holes in my walls from pulling out thumbtacks
i hate everything i loved six months back
pls dont look at me im sick and so sad
i can breathe as long as u dont know that

u dont really ask how i am so its easy
i dont really care if u dont want to see me
honestly im finding my face hard to look at
i dont wanna try cause im tired of the pushback

things can feel exactly right and go bad
i need to remember, need to know that
i can't move, i'm so scared to be shown it
again and again
i don't have any friends from when i was a kid and i'm so glad

i haven't seen anybody i've known for a long time
in a long time, in a long time

i'll never see me through your eyes again, it hurts too much

southview  +fish narc (blackwinterwells)

Spoiled little brat

grandma got run over by a lawnmower

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KolZJ7TPfFY
ss03
prod me
song with @1glaive : _)
lyrics:
---what was the last thing you said?
i took like over a year to get you out my head
and now i can’t sleep 
thinking bout everything and all the things we did
and i don’t think i miss you
i don’t miss the shit that we been through
but now i’m stuck with this
try not to reminisce 
or i think i’ll start to miss you

i don’t know how to explain it
a year of racking my brain and i hated it 
it’s like i’m holding onto something that you never did
it’s like i’ll never have something just like we did
it’s like i’ll never hold hands with someone again
it’s like i’ll never introduce them to my friends
i guess it’s the end 

just fucking look at you 
you moved on so fast like did you want me in the first place 
i wish you the best but only mean that in the worse way 
took you only a month to act like everything
was ok
you fell right in love with him like i was just a half-way
now i’m all on my own need someone to talk to
my friends all abandoned me cause they’d rather choose you 
this shit is so draining need to do something brand new
i get tossed up and used then thrown away like some old shoes
like fucking look at you 
i think that you’re right i’m not the person that i used to be
i can’t even hide that fact that this was all because of me
i made my mistakes i let my head get straight to jealousy 
all cause i thought i'd be the only one u  ever see
but you have to remind me 
you have to remind me
cause i know you said something
something with meaning
it was as i was leaving i could’ve been dreaming
you have to remind me remind me of one thing

what was the last thing you said?
i swear i didn’t mean to leave you on read
but now it’s morning
everyone’s sleeping 
and i can’t decide if i should get out of bed
like i don’t wanna miss you 
i don’t miss the shit that we been through 
but now i’m stuck with this 
try not to reminisce or i think i’ll start to miss you
it seems like everyday i look at the pictures
a couple years of my life in a camera roll 
i’m thinking maybe i really miss it
reliving memories as i start to scroll
it feels like lately i’ve been stuck and i can’t reach my goals 
and i can’t get myself out ive been stuck in a hole
i’m really starting to believe it’s the end

GLAIVE:
dude that this point it doesn’t even matter like fuck

every time they talk about us they say we went hollywood but 
if there ever was a spot to take i think they probably would cause 
every single zoloft that i take don’t do me any good but 
black hair black nails she thinks she’s misunderstood but
she don’t know me like she think she does
and i’ll be lying if said i gave a single fuck
and then you push me down and then you pick me up i’m like
one fight away from getting tired and giving up

just fucking look at you 
you moved on so fast like did you want me in the first place 
i wish you the best but only mean that in the worse way 
took you only a month to act like everything
was ok
you fell right in love with him like i was just a half-way
now i’m all on my own need someone to talk to
my friends all abandoned me cause they’d rather choose you 
this shit is so draining need to do something brand new
but after all that was said i don’t regret that i knew you

what was the last thing u said w/ glaive

prod written by vocals by Me
art by 8 4 8 5

spotify

OMEN

BRING U HOME

fantasize

Heartbeats/Heartbreaks

sad song 33

Good Ones

Trying

Dawn Of Chromatica

Rain On Me (Arca Remix)

Everybody check my socials

prod by 
@fortuneswan
@thefthproject
notes:// (＾• ω •＾)
i don have much to say 
im vv nervous
big thank to every1 for da support <3
lyrics:
yeah u look so pretty in dat dress 
but i'd look better 
gave u everything i ever had
even my sweater 
mood is always shitty 
like north carolina weather
u say dat u better than my ex
but have you met her?

so

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

tell me "do u reminisce about me or the past"
i was stuck inside my head
should b stuck inside my bag
n u saying all this shit abt
call me this n that
n everything that works for me 
never seems to last

oh
my 
goodness gracious
i've never been good at 
all the cheap flirtations
i feel like a puppet 
controlled animations
i've never been good at
holding conversations

there's this girl named astrid
never knows what's happening
she does whatever all her friends 
wanna do that's without asking
i really don't wanna grow up to be alone
in a mansion
n her friends don't really like her
omg i can't imagine

cypress grove

astrid

tbh i dont like being social

waking up early taking naps
no i can’t feel it anymore
laying on my back in the grass
wonder why i feel sore
said she wanna take a step back
but i’ve heard it all before
but i’ve heard it all before
empty only wanting more

she’s a devil
she’s a two timer
she’s a snake
she’s a fucking liar
kiss your neck 
because i’m not a biter
when she left my place i couldn’t find my lighter

i’m still down for you i’m doing my part 
but i can’t fill this gap inside of my heart
and nothing in this world can satisfy me
and i feel so selfish i want your body

but i don’t wanna fuck just wanna kiss you
i just need somebody to continue
crushed up addys placed inside my bedroom
honestly i just don’t see the issue 
just a little blood inside the tissue
i don’t wanna think because i’ll miss you
so i still i got my vices i submit to

selfish

happy birthday 2 me <3 
all love to hallow
@avit69
@1hallow
cover taken by @coleslau
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/24Y6ZUvXsrLW9eIQUulaSn
[lyrics]
[verse]
she wish i was good at being something im not 
i waste all my time i think i wish it would stop 
she wake up at 10 and then she put on her makeup
and i still go to bed and hope that i never wake up
my ex just hit me up to tell me im still an asshole
im worried bout the future but im stuck on the past tho
im looking at my phone and i been talking for too long
and you thought that you knew me, you knew wrong.

[hook]
and i think its my insomnia
i could write a book on everything thats wrong with you
and i figured out that aint nobody solid uh
it started adding up i think that im the problem (x2)

[AViT]
can you, feel it
coursing through your veins just like its venom
toxic, posion, its keeping me alive but i feel dead inside
and everynight i stay up thinking how you fucked me up
and every toss and turn i do you haunt my every move
and i need you out my head
so i finally go to bed

[hook]

insomnia

insomnia w/ AViT (hallow)

cloak n dagger

video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lYduSMsNlo&lc=UgzZf3ZyR2kRHPR05cl4AaABAg
(rising action)
@1hallow
on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4F8FtOWSa286XpVEeB8pWm
[lyrics]
its 2 am girl r you up yet?
and she like boy you know fucked up we can nvr go back
now she move different acting suspect
and she think i could be her hero i can never be that


at all
cause i get stabbed in the back
i try my best to clear my head but i can never do that
at all
i cant go back to the past
and i dont wanna be the bad guy
but i think i might have to,
im stuck like a statue
you say i dont say i dont see you 
and yet im looking right at you
im done with the attitude
im not even mad at you
she say im her hero 
but i know she dont think thats true

take a step back
what does it look like from the outside?
and to be honest i dont wanna learn bout ur last guy
i try my best but i still end up on my last life

theres nvr gna be a right time

and u can blame me if u want but you know
that there wont ever be a next time
i take an uber take the next flight
i wont be nothing like your next guy

hyperpop

NotScaredCj