I'm in the middle. I'm not yet 9 years old, but I already knew I was going to teach music even though I had only started playing at age 7. I would bring my friends inside and give them lessons on how to play Chopsticks and later, Heart and Soul. The family in the photo doesn't exist anymore, and hasn't for a long time. My older sister isn't in it. Some of my family is still living but there is absolutely no communication. There is only animosity and disrespect directed at me. There is no love or caring. Sad isn't it? I gave up.

Growing up between 1954 and 1972, when I left home to go to school, I had no intention of moving back to my hometown.

I had a wonderful childhood. Children today don't experience the joy of being a child whose sole objective was being able to play outside with a dozen other neighborhood children. 

My parents were still kids when they got married right out of High school and had three babies in four years. My sisters did the same thing, never finding out who they were and what their talents were. Could I sell cars for 35 years? Never. We were just so different. There were many reasons that tore our family apart. My father turned to alcohol after his kids were grown, in his 40's and was dead at 54. My mother couldn't maintain the family business herself and lost everything she had worked for and had nothing to show for it. I haven't talked to my sisters in years. They are angry at me for reasons I don't understand and I gave up trying to figure it out. They don't talk to each other, either. I don't know what it's like to have a sister. Are they lonely, too? Is it pride that stands in the way?

Creating music is my way of understanding what I feel. It is like my diary. From a young child I tried tried to play what I could hear inside, but I couldn't, and there wasn't anyone who could teach me that because they couldn't play their own music. It took a long time to understand and I'm not yet quite there, learning how to play the piano from the inside out. It has changed the way I teach. Anyone can learn to read music but only a few can actually hear their own music. I've written a lot of music for people as gifts and music for my own family, especially the newest babies. Number 5 great grandbaby is due in a few months. Hopefully it is something they will keep to always connect me to them.

I can't change what my sisters think of me. I believe it is regretful but it is their choice, not mine. If my parents could have looked ahead and saw how we ended how sad they would have been. When I uploaded this music to SC last night I sat there, overwhelmed and cried. It is one thing to lose your family to death; quite another to lose them when while they still live.

Broken Family

FEEL UP
Vocals and Synths : GHOSTHACK
www.Ghosthack.de
Mix, Arrangement and Production: Lillithe

FEEL UP

Purple Pansy Flowers

Patmos Island - Πάτμος

LoFi

THE BOY - CO2 DANCE

This is my old alternative rock tune. Everything by myself. I was inspired by Raiohead and Nine Inch Nails. I recorded this with a 4 track recorder.  
Free download if you like it.
Please follow me on Instagram and Spotify etc.
Thank you very much for your support! Enjoy!

CO2 DANCE

■概要(overview)
最近、部屋で線香を焚くのが大好きです。とても煙いです。
だからそんな感じの歌詞にしてみました(^^)
曲はいつもと変わり映えないですが(^^)
Lately, I love burning incense in my room.It's very smoky.
That's why I tried to make the lyrics like that (^^)
I guess the song is similar to the usual (^^)

■更新情報(Update)
2024.5.19：最後のところにギターを追加(人生は足し算だ！) / Added guitar at the end (life is about addition!)

■歌詞
日々は潸潸と流れて
好きなものも変わっていく
同じ景色を見ていたはずなのに

つながりを大切にして今を生きていくだけで
振り返ることもしなかったから

あなたは私を忘れているでしょ？
毎日の電話　LINEの返信
忘れているでしょ？

黒く重くて厄介なものが
こみ上げてきたわ
線香に火をつけた

白檀の煙
黙々と語りだして
私の心を鎮めてくれるわ・・


時の流れはいたづらに
花の色はうつりにけり
同じ景色を見ていたはずなのに

かわらない　夕焼けの空　どこかのお寺　鐘が鳴る
ため息のように　繰り返している

あなたは私を忘れているでしょ？
正直な話　私も同じよ
忘れていたのよ

黒く重くて厄介なものを
解明してくれない？
線香に火をつけた

白檀の煙
黙々と語りだして
最後はうやむやに消えてしまうわ・・


雄島に架かる橋　あなたがくれたこの線香
火をつけて　先に渡ったあなたに会いに行くわ

煙に問う　あの橋の向こう　何があるの？
鳴り響く鐘の音はいつになれば鳴り止むの？と

あなたは私を忘れているでしょ？

■lyrics
The days flow by in a hurry
What I like also changes
We should have been looking at the same scenery

Because I only cherished connections and lived in the present without looking back.

You forgot me, right?
Daily phone calls LINE replies
You forgot, right?

Something black, heavy, and troublesome
I'm welling up
lit the incense sticks

sandalwood smoke
Start speaking silently
It calms my heart...

I feel like time is passing in vain
The color of the flowers fades
We should have been looking at the same scenery

The unchanging sunset sky, the bell of a temple somewhere rings
repeating like a sigh

You forgot me, right?
To be honest, I am the same way.
I forgot.

About black, heavy and troublesome things
Could you please clarify the cause?
lit the incense sticks

sandalwood smoke
Start speaking silently
In the end, it just disappears...

Bridge over Oshima, this incense stick you gave me
I'll light a fire and go to meet you who crossed first.

I ask the smoke
"What's on the other side of that bridge?"
“When will the ringing bell stop ringing?”

You forgot me, right?

The other side of the bridge(橋の向こう側)

The sky cries-Lyrics and song written by SeafoamSweaterGirl. Special appearance by WALL-E the feline. Check out SeafoamSweaterGirl’s amazing music here!!: 

https://on.soundcloud.com/MNn5zPqwDEkhasrj7

My hearts been caught out in the rain
These days don't even feel the same
I look around and nothing's changed
 I don't belong here anymore 

The weight of this depression 
An anchor pulling me down
The moon, it always has a lesson
That these tears weren't meant to drown
Some days are nice some days are mean
Forever wavering between


The sky it cries in shades of gray
Things don't always end the way.. they.. should

Phases reflected in my soul
A place no one's allowed to go
Mirrored reflection of the old
still standing proud and bold
Silver gleam your sorrow shines 
Drifting on until the end of time
And when the darkness holds you tight
You still cast a lovely light

The sky it cries in shades of gray
Things don't always end the way.. they.. should

ŞeafoamŞweaterGirl & ðüşț • The Şky Çrieş

Every breath, every word, every thought is an
act of love with thee.
The beat of my heart is the pendulum of love.
The songs of me are the soft sighs.
The thoughts of me are very rapture.
And my deeds are the myriads of Thy Children,
The Stars and the Atoms...
*********************************
Stars & Thee Atoms = Sanja (Neurologick Thunder,fka Agitation Φ) sound and Astarte 23 visual art.
*********************************
current page https://soundcloud.com/denatura23

Stars & Thee Atoms - Liber Astarte

This is the second track in CD1 of Anthology 2015

Mars Storm (2015) Anthology CD1 Track 02

Temptations

Based in Wiltshire creating chilled out electronic tunes

Interested in collaboration especially with a singer/song writer

Tracks now available on Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0Q1iJY8r77EgC5mWkqzDj8

LoFi

JamD