Name: Keep It Real (Toothy) by K in t100
Duration: 4 min 20 s
Description: Use promo code TOOTHY at www.kendollinhide.com for 4% off your preorder.

and it finishes at 4:20, too much quality

t100

Cover art by Karat: https://www.instagram.com/metakarat/
Special Thanks to our $5 Patrons (Aug 2021):
🤠 688as  
💲 Aaron Wentworth  
☘️ Alex O'Kelly  
🐊 Andre Wynn  
🎲 Apex  
🤖 Ayrton Taylor  
🍇 Basket of Grapes  
🏖️ BeachHook  
🧀 Ben Cheevers  
🐱 Brady Rainey  
🐼 Dave Lo Pan  
🍆 Dick Masterson  
🍻 Dillon Bly  
🎮 ErbBetaPatched  
💨 Fred Rush  
🤡 Funnyman1234  
👾 godmonster  
🍬 Herbet Sherbertbert  
🥣 HollinOats  
😘 Hotchkiss  
🏈 James Gifford  
🦴 Jobbed Bone
🛏️ Kevin Kozan  
🍆 Magnetus  
🥜 No_Nuts  
⛔ No thanks  
🎬 Randy  
🐶Teddy Bear Syrup  
🦁 The Zoo  
🌊 Thomas C  
🥾 Trentworth  
🥉 Trepinate  
🔱 Tydeus  
🚫 Umpty Madoo

Lyrics:
Long day in the wage cage
I can't wait to lay back and rest 
I'm gonna relax and play games
Pass out and do it again

And I work hard to get paid
Yeah, not much but I get by
No time to complain though
The suns up so it's rise and shine
 
And I roll out of bed and get dressed
My soles shined and my shirt pressed
Big smile now, I'm looking sharp
But I got a feeling that things are looking fucked

Cause it might be a long drive ahead
So I tempt fate, by running all the reds
I lean back and cry "I wanna fucking die"
I'm trying crash the car before I head inside
  
Where I greet the big guy, firm shake
He pulls me aside and says "hey mate"
"Now you know you're a star, my number one"
"I got a job for you my son, listen up, 'cause"

"Tonight you have to stay back"
And he dumped a stack into my lap
"And when you're done with that, just one more task"
"Can you eat the shit directly from my..."

Ask me anything
And I'll be there
Just tell me to jump
I'm up in the air

How high now sir?
I'll jump til it hurts
I'm here to serve

My time is cheap
And so's my fee
I won't ever sleep
No, it's for the weak

I'm at your feet
Until the grave
What better way to live
Than living like your fucking slave?

But hey, It's just another day on this gay Earth
Yeah I work like a slave but I gotta earn 
Asked the man "When you gonna pay me what I'm worth?"
So he handed me a pocket full of wet dirt

"Take it wagie. Here you go, this is what you are."
"Know your place at the bottom of the shit pile."
So I did just what he said and took it all.
Every single bit of it. I took it all with a smile. 

"This is it, it's your life, now whatcha think?"
"Don't like it, too bad. Watcha gonna do, quit?"
"Gonna do something 'bout it, huh kid?"
"Nah, you and I both know you ain't gonna do shit" 

"Now get back to the stack double quick"
"Little bitch, before I stiff you with a double shift"
Yes sir, whatever you wish
Ha! God damn, I love working for him

So just ask me anything
And I'll be there
Just tell me to jump
I'm up in the air

How high now sir?
I'll jump 'til it hurts
'cause I'm here to serve

My time is cheap
And so's my fee
I won't ever sleep
No, it's for the weak

So I'm at your feet
Until the grave
By the way, is it ok
If I take Christmas holidays? No? Fuck! 

So the day's tough and the pay sucks
And yeah maybe they will say you're a wagecuck
But it's better than being a neet chud
Piece of shit, reject and retard

Even if we cannot keep up
We'll give it everything we've got
I'll let you in on a little secret
I'd do it all for free
 
But my name will be framed in the hall of greats
Employee of the month, with my smiling face
I'll do what it takes, cement my place
I'm gonna be the quickest fuckin’ rat in the race

Keep up the pace, Come on we've almost made it now
Don't stop, No taking breaks
Embrace the pain, Cause your glory awaits
So taste the flames and exclaim Hail Satan!

Despite All My Wage

Cover art by Karat: https://www.instagram.com/metakarat/
Special Thanks to our $5 Patrons (Aug 2021):
🤠 688as  
💲 Aaron Wentworth  
☘️ Alex O'Kelly  
🐊 Andre Wynn  
🎲 Apex  
🤖 Ayrton Taylor  
🍇 Basket of Grapes  
🏖️ BeachHook  
🧀 Ben Cheevers  
🐱 Brady Rainey  
🐼 Dave Lo Pan  
🍆 Dick Masterson  
🍻 Dillon Bly  
🎮 ErbBetaPatched  
💨 Fred Rush  
🤡 Funnyman1234  
👾 godmonster  
🍬 Herbet Sherbertbert  
🥣 HollinOats  
😘 Hotchkiss  
🏈 James Gifford  
🦴 Jobbed Bone
🛏️ Kevin Kozan  
🍆 Magnetus  
🥜 No_Nuts  
⛔ No thanks  
🎬 Randy  
🐶Teddy Bear Syrup  
🦁 The Zoo  
🌊 Thomas C  
🥾 Trentworth  
🥉 Trepinate  
🔱 Tydeus  
🚫 Umpty Madoo

Lyrics:
Take a seat, grab a drink
Clear your head now, don't overthink
Feel the heat, Check your fit
Nice one bro, you look like shit

There she is, remember kid
She's more afraid of you than you are I think
(Dude that's spiders) Wait, what?
Shit, lemme check my script

Hair cut, button-down, chin up, chest out
Look into their eyes, don't stare too much now
Tight grip, ease up, play it cool, young buck
First impression now, one shot, don't flub

Try this, stop that, one drink, throw 'em back
Shit man, how many was that?
Keep track, don't slack, sit up and relax
(Panic got you manic and you're getting way off track)

Focus, get your mind on the locus
Now don't choke on the moment, bro
Just know this shit ain't hopeless
nah, It ain't over til the fat bitch sings her opus

(I don't think that's how that goes)
Who cares, she's staring, open with a joke
(I don't know any jokes) Fuck... ok
Well remember what they say kid

Just be yourself, that's what they say 
Just be yourself and everything will be ok
Just be yourself, the standard line
Just be yourself and everything will turn out fine

Straight up lie, I hear it all the time
Why? Maybe they believe it deep down inside
I don't know the machinations of their fucked up mind
Do they really think that shit flies? (yeah right)

Good advice, maybe I can try it on for size
And go outside with my dick hanging out to dry
Feels nice, look at me I'm a normal kinda guy
Howdy miss, would you like another slice of apple pie?

Bitch, I don't even like myself
Think I'd show someone else?
Drag 'em into my own hell, that'd go well 
Golly gee, ma'am, yeah that'd be swell

Come right in and take a look at my cell
Watch your step now, don't mind the smell
Oh something's off? Now how can you tell?
What about this nightmare's setting of bells, bitch?

Just be yourself, that's what they say 
Just be yourself and everything will be ok
Just be yourself, the standard line
Just be yourself and everything will turn out fine

Just be yourself, that old refrain
Just be yourself and everything will be ok
Just be yourself, but I have to ask
What happens if myself is a huge fucking cunt?

What about then? Tell me now friend
How does my fairy tale end?
Am I the prince? Or will I get fucked like a bitch?
If the shoe fits, maybe I should wear that shit

Maybe that's it, Maybe I'm sick
Maybe I'm too fucked up to live
I'm not meant to win, Should I call it quits?
And make my exit (come on, do a flip!)

My own happiness has ceased to exist
If I end it quick I can spare the sting
Of pain, regret and all the awful things
(Take a walk in someone else's Timbs)

So pull the pin, lean in, watch me spin
I'm on the brink, take no hostages
You watching kids? Neat trick, watcha think?
It's hot in here, I need more oxygen please!

Just be yourself, that's what they say 
Just be yourself and everything will be ok
Just be yourself, the standard line
Just be yourself and everything will turn out fine

Just be yourself, that old refrain
Just be yourself and everything will be ok
Just be yourself, but I have to ask
What happens if myself is a huge fucking cunt?

Just Be Yourself

Producer: Departure
Producer: Butterfly Boy

Cover Art and Design by Departure and Butterfly Boy
Field Recording by Departure
Recorded & mastered from October 2021 to April 2022

mBxjBnj

Cedar Tree Leaves in Springwoods / Untitled

Cedar Tree Leaves In Springwoods / Untitled

Something I demo'ed for fun in 2017-2018. Had shelved it because of schedules and a bit of a block, but if I see an opportunity and drive I'll open the file up again.

Hell I'll probably do a Soundclown mashup with it beforehand lol

Pendulum - Propane Nightmares [Likonan Speedy Instrumental Demo Cover]

Crazy Parking Signs (The Song)

Check out lakembra's cover of this, which is how it was meant to sound:
https://soundcloud.com/lakembra/dicktales-lakembra-vocal-cover

Credit to _688as for help with lyrics, and dracky for help with thumbnail ideas.

Lyrics:
When you've got no weekend plans 
And your job's shit
If you think your life is bland 
Here's a Dick tip

You don't need much thinking
Just start day-drinking
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

Asking chicks about their shoes, it's
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Get a coach to fix your life it's
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

At burning man danger lurks behind you
And STD's are out to find you
You dodge them all and bring a man home 
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

Shit in your dad's underwear it's
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Throw an orange at some beer cups
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Have your reputation ruined
Dick tales

Dick Tales

The Dick Show - Trump Won Remix by waut3rboi

Full credit to Chris Strand for his original idea, lyrics and thumbnail too. Please go listen to his original here: https://soundcloud.com/strchris/dicktales

This is just my own vocal take in the style of the original Duck Tales theme.

Oh and go listen to The Dick Show!
http://thedickshow.com/


Lyrics:
When you've got no weekend plans 
And your job's shit
If you think your life is bland 
Here's a Dick tip

You don't need much thinking
Just start day-drinking
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

Asking chicks about their shoes, it's
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Get a coach to fix your life it's
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

At burning man danger lurks behind you
And STD's are out to find you
You dodge them all and bring a man home 
Dick tales, whoo-hoo

Shit in your dad's underwear it's
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Throw an orange at some beer cups
Dick Tales, whoo-hoo
Have your reputation ruined
Dick tales

Dick Tales (lakembra vocal cover)

Download available at: https://www.orfium.com/track/622709/cucks-in-the-wind-ft-samglaze-lakembra/

Piano by Samglaze: https://soundcloud.com/samglaze
Lyrics written by /u/688as (lyrics below).

From Episode 39 of The Dick Show:
https://soundcloud.com/dick-show/episode-39-santa-cuck-diy-glow

Asterios clips from:
http://biggest.thedickshow.com/episode-77/
http://thedickshow.com/episode-21/
http://thedickshow.com/episode-31/
https://soundcloud.com/user-667747853/060-intrigued-hesitation

*Now with 50% less fade out!

Lyrics:
I close my eyes
As I prep the bull for my wife to fuck  
I open wide
Wrap my lips around and give a hearty suck

Cucks in the wind
All we are is cucks in the wind

Same old song
I hide in the closet 'til my wife is done
I call up Dick
And ask him if he wants to hear my latest bit

Cucks in the wind
All we are is cucks in the wind
Kokonuts!

My wife's son
Tells me I'm not funny, and I yell too much
My patreon
Is the only thing in life that keeps me going on


Cucks in the wind
All we are is cucks in the wind (all we are is cucks in the wind)
Cucks in the wind (everything is cucks in the wind)
Everything is cucks in the wind

Cucks In The Wind (ft. Samglaze)

Music Video: 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IljTDzO_X8E

Lyrics:
Guy Fieri, searching for someone, looking for something else 
Guy Fieri, losing your grip and nothing can break your fall 

What it meant, what I told you 
Why I was left in the dark 
When Guy Fieri came home 

And the hurt, when you ran away 
You left and it tore us apart 
When Guy Fieri came home 

Guy Fieri, reaching and stumbling, back on your feet again 
Feeling hungry, lonely and trapped in a world so impermanent 

Guy Fieri, memories fade but, you were my source of strength 
I wasn’t ready, we were victims of change, a feeling so strange, it won’t go away 

Now you’re here, and I’m sinking 
A fire that burns in my heart 
When Guy Fieri came home no more waiting 

And it felt, like a rainstorm 
And you became every drop 
When Guy Fieri came home 

It was the dishes that had we made together 
It was the dreams and the plans, from now ‘til the last breath 
They were the pages that we had turned together 
And the nights that I hoped would last forever 

And Guy Fieri drove until the tension unwound 
Exploring FlavorTown, the sights and smells all around 
You left the world behind, a son who wouldn’t even know 
Just who you are, the frosted tips, your culinary crown 

It was the dishes that had we made together 
It was the dreams and the plans, from now ‘til the last breath 
They were the pages that we had turned together 
You left me simmering, sauteed, ruined forever 

I just couldn’t know 
What would bring you home, Mr. Fieri 

Flavor makes you whole 
It is in your soul, Mr. Fieri 

Mr. Fieri 
Mr. Fieri

Fieri

My jazz band remix of The Dick Show theme song by wauterboi.  It's short, but it gets the job done.

The Dick Show Jazz Band Remix

Use promo code TOOTHY at www.kendollinhide.com for 4% off your preorder.

Keep It Real (Toothy)

As heard on Episode 97 of The Dick Show.
Like this? Hear more at patreon.com/hmwh

Beats and production: @samglaze
Lyrics and Vocals: @lakembra
Helped: @aciou

Lyrics:
Every now and then you come across someone online 
Whose palate is a little more refined than the average guy 
Like Digibro see, he's a prince of pederasty, 

A rap god, anime fancier, a connoisseur of cunny
And he's making money off an audience of retards and half-breds
Who can eat lead for all I care

Anime was a mistake and I'm the eraser
God save ya, I can't explain it
No taste these guys, "No tits, no hips, no ass, damn fine" they'd say
I swear that shit is fuckin gayer than prison rape
But at least the gays have the decency to, say I don't know, fuck men their own age?

2D not pig disgusting is what they say
And while it's just a drawing on a page
The thing that makes you cum is that she's underaged

"What about violent video games? They don't make you violent."
Nice try guy but you wanted to fuck kids before you struck upon this shit, So I do not buy it

"It's an outlet for my urges"
Tell me when do we start the purge cause pedofags are a bunch retarded spergs and a  scourge upon this earth

"You're a philistine who runs on feels"
And you're a pedophile who should be killed
Or at least return to the hills, this ain't Kansas faggot so click your heels

===
I'm a big fan of jerking my cock
to illustrations of little girls getting [STOP]
===

"Dick, understand this, I can't quit
I'm up to my dick in A-cup tits
And flat chested kids.
I'm on the front lines of this shit"

"So call me sick, if it'll help you sleep
But I will fight for this, and when they call me creep
I will remind them that they're all next in the crosshair and their loss here 
will mean a loss everywhere."

"It starts with no more Boku No Pico freaks
on the streets, then jokes about minorities
Until it affects everything and everybody, Im sorry, I can't stand idly by while they take away my life
I will fight for pedo rights til I die"

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Is he mentally compromised?
Sean its time. Cut his line.
Delete everything and set it all on fire.

"There's nothing inherently wrong with imagining a toddler 
sliding up and down your dong,
As long as they're not really there
It's all in my mind and I'm in the clear"

Your mind is fucked up, 
Now my ears need a good scrub
after listening to you flap your tongue 
about how you like your pussy young.

I'm sorry, a cunny is not honey and you're not a bee, 
actually you're a plague on society
And were it up to me you'd be the first to see a noose and swing from a tree, Digi stop!

===
I'm a big fan of jerking my cock
to illustrations of little girls getting [STOP]
===

The Loli Con

Lyrics:

I got this big job contract, oh yes
“Can you make cool website for kids?”
“They gotta stick around, yeah, it’s gotta be bliss, 
Hey, I’m tellin’ you again, it’s a website for kids”

I told ‘em no problem, it’s okay, I rock
This kid-stuff is easy and I’m totally on top
Sea creatures, bubbles, colorful beepers
Monster trucks, fanny packs, epic cool preachers

Can I use unlicensed characters from films?
I’m just asking the question, I’m not saying I will
My ultimate goal, and I promise you this:
To make a great and functional website for kids

I’ll design with Skeuomorphs, and make it intuitive
I’ll show these kids who the design king truly is
I’m makin’ it happen, I’ve got so much to flaunt
But oh shit, I’m stuck, I can’t pick out a font

(Things are just not going my way, ugh)

Just tell me what font to pick when I’m making websites for kids
Please help, I’ve got a real big list, gotta narrow it down for this
In over my head a bit, but I’m gonna find the ultimate kid-friendly font
Wanna get the clicks, and make a site that appeals to kids

I take a break and I grab a snack,
I do some yoga, and draw a hot bath
When my head is clear, I’m back at the computer
Gotta make a cool site for these younger users

I’m scrolling through the list, but nothin’ fits
I assumed medieval fonts would be perfect for kids
Calibri don’t work, courier is shit
I add a surfboard, some chips and myriad dips

A bitcoin market, yeah, “great for kids!”
But what font do I use? I’m getting tired of dead ends
I add a cute soldier and a badass fish
I think, “solving this problem is my ultimate wish”

I gaze to the Lord of Fonts in the sky
Yes, I whisper a prayer, a desperate cry
Suddenly, I’m greeted, surprise, by a dancer,
I assume, “hey some wisdom, an arrival of answers”

I’m not gonna tell you what font to use 
You’d better get with the times, you’d better find what’s new
A design battle in a colosseum 
If you figure out my clues, then my friend, you’ve won

I end the call, my heart is racing
I’m punching my brain, it’s the answer I’m chasing
They say a dancer appearing is a real good omen
I’ve got it, eureka, I’ll use times new roman!

We love that font, we use it a bunch
We need it in our lives, we just can’t get enough
Excitement and delight when we’re visiting your
Website

Times New Roman is awesome

Just tell me what font to pick when I’m making websites for kids
Please help, I’ve got a real big list, gotta narrow it down for this
In over my head a bit, but I’m gonna find the ultimate kid-friendly font
Wanna get the clicks, and make a real nice site for kids

Just tell me what font to pick when I’m making websites for kids
Please help, I’ve got a real big list, gotta narrow it down for this
In over my head a bit, but I’m gonna find the ultimate kid-friendly font
Wanna get the clicks, and make a site that appeals to kids

I found the right font for kids

Keep It Real (Toothy)

K

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