My friend Blaire Ostler joins us to talk about her new book called Queer Mormon Theology (https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Mormon-Theology-Blaire-Ostler/dp/1948218410).  Blaire has wonderful insights into how to understand, see and support Queer Latter-day Saints.   One of my favorite sections is 15 ways to be more inclusive for our queer friends.
 
Thank you Blare for being on the podcast and all your good work to bring us together.  You can check out Blaire’s other podcasts on our platform at 396, 335, and 24.

Episode 427: Blaire Ostler, Author Queer Mormon Theology

My friends Loren (PhD in Counseling Psychology from BYU) and Anne (Master in Marriage and Family Therapy from BYU) share their story.   Loren, who knew he was not straight from an early age, shares his journey of self-discovery and understanding and why he identifies as Queer—a recent development—and the personal revelation that led him to accepting that label for himself.  Loren and Anne also discuss falling in love and their decision to get married and Loren being open about his orientation—describing being able to “show up as my full authentic self”.

Loren, who is a licensed psychologist at Washington State University, also talks about his identical twin brother who is gay and married to a man.  Loren shares about how close he is with his twin and how strong their relationship is, but also helps us understand that his story is different from his brother's story and how we shouldn’t try to complete other’s stories—but create space for the uniqueness of each story.

If you want to better understand your own story as a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint or better understand others, please listen to this podcast.   Loren and Anne offer wonderful and unique insights —merging their personal stories and profession insights to help bring more understanding.   

Loren is also the author of this excellent article about the creation and use of identity labels, written while he was at BYU:  https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1554&context=irp

Thank you Loren and Anne for being on the podcast.  You two are awesome!

Episode 428: Loren (Queer) and Anne Brown (Straight/Demisexual),  Married Latter-day Saint Couple

My friend, Dr. Christy Kane who has a PhD in clinical psychology, joins us to talk about her new book Fractured Souls and Splintered Memories:  Unlocking the Boxes of Trauma (https://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Souls-Splintered-Memories-Unlocking/dp/1462140327).    Dr Kane’s book and clinical practice is focused on improving our mental health including identifying and working through trauma.
 
In the podcast, Dr. Kane talks about why therapy is important, how we can talk about mental health in a more effective way, what is trauma and how we can help others to heal.  
 
If you want better insights and tools to solve the trauma in your life and help others, please read Dr Kane’s book and listen to this podcast.   Her insights were very helpful to me and I believe will help you.   Thank you Dr, Kane for being on the podcast and all your great work.  You can connect with Dr Kane at drchristykane.com and on Instagram @dr.christykane

Episode 429:  Dr. Christy Kane,  Author:  Fractured Souls and Splintered Memories

My friend Lincoln Bagley bravely shares his unique mission (Peru, home for a year, Utah, Peru and Colorado) which covered three years from his call to returning home in May 2021.   

Lincoln talks about being sent home from his mission because of prior worthiness and a difficult experience his Mission President,  feeling his was going to leave the church because “could not measure up”, being home for a year where he grieved and then healed, serving again about being assigned to Utah where he got treatment for scrupulosity, going to Peru and then reassigned to Colorado when Peru closed with Covid.  
 
Lincoln talks about healing from a difficult leader experience, deconstructing and then reconstructing his testimony,  why he stays a member of the Church, the unique way he served the people of Colorado and his outreach to marginalized members of the Church.   You can read more of Lincoln’s story here:
 
https://www.facebook.com/100044382798931/posts/215979476558144/
 
https://www.facebook.com/100044382798931/posts/277993347023423/
 
I’m grateful for Lincoln for the courage to share his story and all the good he did on his mission.   It is people like Lincoln that give me hope for the future our Church and world.  

Thank you Lincoln for being on the podcast and for being you!

Episode 430: Lincoln Bagley, RM,  Home for Worthiness, Faith Crisis,  Back Out, Finished Strong

My friend Raini Stock (RM from Colorado Springs and getting her Master’s in school counseling from Idaho State University), shares her journey to stay a member of our Church.   Raini shares the challenges she faced after her mission while at school at BYU-Idaho and not fitting in or feeling a sense of belong at times in our Church.   Raini shares being uncomfortable about garment wearing (not from a religious issues, but a practical challenge) and also her mental health challenges.   
 
Raini shares how she found Rosemary Card and Dr Julie Hanks and how these two committed Latter-day Saints helps Raini to know there are people like her in the church—who are needed and helping others in wonderful and unique ways.
 
If you don’t feel like you fit the mold, are uncomfortable about some aspects of our church, or have had a difficult leader experience, please listen to Raini’s story.  She will help you to feel not alone and give you hope for your future.   
 
Raini has also started a podcast called Young Flirty and Not Thriving (available now on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Podbean).  Check out @youngflirtyandnotthriving on IG for updates.

Episode 431: Raini Stock, RM, Faith Crisis, Mental Health, Garments, Returning to Church

My friend Calvin Smith (RM from Mozambique and Swaziland, BYU Grad in Teaching Social Sciences) bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-Day Saint.   

Calvin talks about his younger years, great mission experience, realizing marrying a woman isn’t going to be possible, becoming suicidal with the complexities of his situation, good family and friends, and finding hope and healing.  

Calvin talks about dating men and has great insights for others on this road.  He also talks about his excellent relationship with his Heavenly Parents and the Savior and the personal revelation he is receiving for his best path forward.   Calvin also talks about wanting to participate in the Church as much as the church will allow even if his church membership is withdrawn.

Thank you Calvin for courage to share your story and help us know how to better understand and support our LGBTQ members.   You have great spiritual insights, maturity and a desire to help others.   You have a great life ahead of you and this podcast will help so many.  Thank you for sharing your story.

** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 432: Calvin Smith, RM, BYU Grad, Gay, Active LDS, Plans to Marry a Man and Attend Church

My friend Blake Hogge shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint.   Blake shares knowing his was “different” before his successful mission to Tampa, Florida (Haitian Creole), decided to stop dating women, developing his very successful wedding photographer business (check out @blakehogge on IG), coming out to friends and family, starting to date men, and staying close to his Heavenly Father.
 
Blake has a remarkable story that helps all of us better understand and support each other—and keep us together as the same human family.   I was deeply moved by his good spirit, support of all people on their respective paths and wonderful insights.
 
Thank you Blake for being on the podcast.  You are helping so many with your profession and sharing your story.  You have a great life ahead of you.

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 433: Blake Hogge, Noted Wedding Photographer, RM, Gay Latter-Day Saint,

Our good family friends Mason Dimond and Luke Davenport join us to share their stories.   Luke updates us on his service mission that ends in late July—thank you for your service Elder Davenport!   Please listen to Episode 228 for more of Luke’s story.
 
Mason, in one of the bravest moments on our podcast, shares what led him to come home from his mission after 5 weeks.   Mason, who left for his mission in July 2019, talks about being at the Mexico MTC and his emotional health deteriorating to a very unsustainable place.   

Mason, with no history of mental health issues, found himself in uncharted waters and bravely did what he needed to do—go home and heal.   Mason talks about the process to leave the Mexico MTC and the feelings of failure as he returned home.   Mason, who has been home nearly two years, talks about the steps he took (and the help of others like his good family and friens like Luke Davenport) to be in a much better place.  
 
Mason also talks about why he still has a strong testimony of the Church and is looking forward to his upcoming temple marriage.  

If you are an early release missionary or anyone working through mental health challenges, please listen to Mason’s story.  He will give you hope that things are going to be OK.  And, if you want to better understand why some incredible faithful and committed Latter-day Saints return home from their mission early, please listen to Mason’s story.
 
Thank you Mason and Luke for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many.  Respect my friends!

Episode 434: Mason Dimond (Early Release Missionary) and Luke Davenport (Service Missionary)

My friend Will Sintyl, who grew up in Haiti and has lived in Utah for the last 4 years, shares his story.  Will, who recently graduated from High School, shares coming out to family and friends as bisexual.    

Will talks about knowing he was bisexual for many years, why he needed to come out and his hopes for the future.   Will also talks about how his relationship with the Church is even stronger since coming out.  

You can find Will on Instagram @will_sintyl

Thanks for being on the podcast Will!  You are a great man with a wonderful future!

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 435: Will Sintyl, Age 18, Bisexual Latter-day Saint

My friend Kurt Nielsen (who was episode 147) updates us on his journey and insights as a gay Latter-day Saint.  Kurt, who is active in the Church, shares insights on what we can do to better create Zion by seeing and involving our LGBTQ members.   

Kurt also talks about the need to belong and how some considering separating themselves from the Church are not having a belief crisis but a belonging crisis.
 
Kurt is very good with words and stories from his own life to help us better understand.   I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast.
 
Thank you my friend Kurt for all the good you do.  You are one of my heroes and a wonderful human, family man and disciple of Christ.

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773Episode

Episode 436: Kurt Nielsen, Gay Latter-day Saints,  Creating Zion

My friend Maggie Slighte (in her early 50’s) shares some of her life story growing up having been sexually abused at a very young age.  About 6 years ago, Maggie found and joined the Church which has brought her great spiritual healing.   She is now has a calling as a Temple and Family History consultant in her Ward.   
Maggie shares her journey with ‘complex PTSD’ including the therapy she continues to receive.   She also talks about doing starting to do Temple work for her abuser (who has passed away).  You can read more about Maggie at sistermaggie.com and maggieslighte.com.
You are awesome Maggie.   You are a hero to me for surviving a brutal road and being willing to share your life experiences which helps us follow your example to heal and find hope.   Thanks for being on the podcast.

Episode 150: Maggie Slighte, Convert, Trauma Survivor,  Asexual

Welcome to our podcast!   My name is Richard Ostler (twitter:  twitter.com/Papa_Ostler; FB: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5; IG: instagram.com/papa_ostler/) and am a native of Salt Lake City.  

I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love:  Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) and Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints)

I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
and ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use

I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business).  I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and several grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City.   I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.

The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler.

I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside.  Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc.

This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children.   

Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said "We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord(Nov 2017 BYU Devotional)."   Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful.  

Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges.

Are podcast are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us.   You can't donate to this podcast.  There are no sponsors.   But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler  ❤
richard@ostlergroup.com
*I will respond to your e-mails*

Episode 150: Maggie Slighte, Convert, Trauma Survivor, Asexual

Richard Ostler

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