My friend Connor Berg (grew up in South Weber, Served a mission in the Jacksonville Florida Mission, currently at Utah State) shares his journey. Connor talks about growing up and learning he is gay in a world that makes it difficult to be gay.  That led to years of shame, self-harm and depression. Connor eventually came out to his family (very supportive) which led to a path of therapy, hope and healing.   Connor talks about dating a boy during his senior year and then deciding to serve a mission. Connor talks about his mission and better learning how to receive personal revelation and bring others to Christ.
 
Connor talks about returning from his mission and trying to navigate his future. He talks about dating men, feeling hope and peace, and now feeling open to remaining single or possibly marrying a woman.  Connor helps us understand how to seek for personal revelation and honor other’s personal revelation. This is one of the best podcasts I’ve done on the power and importance of personal revelation and honoring each LGBTQ Latter-day Saint’s journey. 
 
If you are in a dark place as a LGBTQ Latter-day Saints (or really in any way), please listen to Connor.  He will give you hope for your future and help you know of your Heavenly Parents love for you. Thank you Connor for being on the podcast. You are a great man with a wonderful future. 
 
** Please Check Out My New Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 416: Connor Berg, RM, Age 22, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Mindi Holmgren and Justin Holmgren join us to share about the sudden death of their husband/brother at age 35.   Corey, who drowned in the community swimming pool on January 19th 2019,  was a Military Chaplain and LMFT working at Lifestar in Murray, Utah who helped hundreds during his lifetime.   Mindi and Corey are the parents of four—with their last child born 6 weeks after Corey’s death.
 
Mindi and Justin share about Corey’s life work (which one of Corey’s clients, Tate LeBaron spoke about in Episode 422), how to help those with a sudden and tragic family death, what to say and not to say, and how they are making their way forward.   They also talk about how their testimony has deepened and their thoughts about the plan of salvation to bring hope and the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help bring healing.  They also talk about how there is sometimes no answers and how to live with faith during mortality.
 
The Holmgren family has started a non-profit organization in Corey’s name.  Check it out at coreyholmgren.org. If you are interested in donating to their cause, you can do so right on their website or through Venmo at @chmemfund. 
 
If you are dealing with a sudden and tragic family death, want to help others, or want your faith strengthened, please listen to this podcast.  It is powerful and moving.  It is sacred ground to listen to and witness this family story.
 
You can reach Mindi on IG at @focusingoneternity and Justin on IG or Twitter at @justinholmgren.   Thank you Mindi and Justin for being on the podcast and sharing your story. Great job.  It honors Corey and gives us better insights to help others.

Episode 444:   Mindi Holmgren (husband Corey died), Justin Holmgren (brother Corey died)

In this solo episode following the events at BYU on August 23rd, I share thoughts for my LGBTQ Latter-day Saints friends, thoughts about my friend Matt Easton, thoughts for fellow Latter-day Saints who are LGBTQ allies, thoughts for local leaders wanting to talk about supporting LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in their local areas, and insights for those in a faith crisis who want to stay in the Church.   
 
In the podcast I reference a Questions from the Closet episode (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-do-i-do-if-im-hurt-by-something-a-church-leader-says/id1504990147?i=1000532985270), David Archuleta (https://www.instagram.com/p/CTFK5tsDXbD/, Facebook group for active Latter-day Saints working to implement church supported LGBTQ discussions/activities in their area (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143) and a chapter about getting through a faith-crisis from my upcoming book (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rei464khsydwdsb/Chapter%2010%20Ministering%20To%20Those%20With%20Questions.pdf?dl=0)
 
I hope this podcast helps better bring us together as the Body of Christ and create Zion.   Love,  Richard Ostler

Episode 445: Richard Ostler Update

My friend Devan Jensen, president of the Latter-day Saint Publishing and Media Association (ldspma.org), joins us to introduce the organization and invite listeners to their upcoming conference at BYU October 7-9, 2021. The association is for Latter-day Saints in publishing or media or independently sharing content through blogs, podcasts, or social media (membership is free). Those who join can network or find resources to help efforts to reach a wider audience (such as writing a book, developing a podcast, better using social media, etc).  
 
On the podcast, Devan talks about the organization’s purpose and the upcoming conference (student discount code of Student2021 and all others code of Friend2021; good through September 30). Devan also shares principles and insights to find common ground.
 
If you are a Latter-day Saint developing content, please listen to this podcast and check out this organization.  They are providing a needed resource. Thank you, Devan, for being on the podcast and for all your great work!

Episode 446: Devan Jensen, Latter-day Saint Media and Publishing Association

My friend Stuart Barrett (RM from Nebraska, age 26) bravely shared his experience being disfellowshipped in a Facebook post (see https://www.facebook.com/1344601875/posts/10225731849786709/) and returned to full Church activity.  
 
Stuart talks about why he is open about this chapter of his life, why he is a better person for going through the process, efforts to reduce shame and desire to give hope to others.  

If you want to go through the repentance process or help others, please listen to Stuart’s podcast.   He is brave, honest, vulnerable and authentic.   His story will help you.   Also, if you are suicidal, Stuart has insights that will give you more hope and desire to stay.
 
Thank you Stuart for being on the podcast.  Respect.  Your facebook post and doing the podcast helps 100s and 100s.

Episode 447: Stuart Barrett, RM, Church Discipline, Active Latter-day Saints

My friend Kendall Harward (Ghana, West Africa RM) bravely shares his story. Kendall talks about life before his mission pushing down this aspect of his essence, talking to his Bishop, and going on his mission believing feelings of being gay was a phase that ended.  Kendall bravely talks about realizing being gay was still part of him during his mission and how he navigated the complexity of his situation including overwhelming shame for his feelings.  
 
Kendall talks about returning home hoping he would marry a woman and fulfill his hope for a family and life within the Church.   Kendall talks about dating women and how he feels that is not going to be his path.  He talks about dating men, going through the church repentance process, and his recent positive of loving experience with his Bishop and Stake President and his desire to stay connected to his local ward.  
 
Kendall also talks about the need for self-care and how seeing a therapist and taking care of himself is needed and not selfish and invites everyone to talk care of themselves.  
 
Thank you Kendall for being on the podcast. You are brave and courageous. Talking about this tender subject removes shame and helps others walking a similar road to feel hope and better connect with our Heavenly Parents and the Savior. You are a great man. This world is a better place with you here.


** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 448: Kendall Harward, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Colette Dalton (Masters of Social Work from BYU, worked for the Church, now therapist at Symmentry Solutions) share her journey as a gay/queer Latter-day Saints.  Colette shares her journey to understand her sexual orientation, navigating being queer and a Church employee and her work as a therapist.
 
If you are a queer women or parent of a queer daughter, Colette’s insights will help you.    And if you are someone who wants to better understand queer Latter-day Saints to help them move forward, or someone working though suicidal ideation, or wanting to strengthen your relationships, Colette’s insights will help you.
 
Thank you Colette for being on the podcast.   Your good heart, story and clinical experience helps so many

Episode 449: Colette Dalton, Gay Latter-day Saint,  LCSW

My friend Liv Mendoza Haynes, who spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency at BYU Women’s Conference, shares her story.  
 
Liv (who is a convert, RM, Lawyer, Young Woman’s President and expectant mother),  shares her journey which included coming out as queer church-wide at Women’s Conference in April 2021 as part of the Relief Society goal to help everyone belong (see https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-04-29/byu-womens-conference-relief-society-a-safe-place-belonging-211785 and https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2021/04/29/help-all-women-including/).  
 
Liv talks about being queer and why they label works for her, advice to other queer/LGBTQ women, advice to parents of LGBTQ children, supporting all types of marriages, better sitting with people in their pain, how to better mourn, develop compassion on not judge.
 
Liv also explains why being queer is not a problem.  She believes this is how her Heavenly Parents intended for her to be created.  It is a beautiful part of her identity.  The problem is the reaction of others and how we can improve and better create Zion following the invitation of the Relief Society General Presidency.
 
Thank you Liv for being on the podcast.  You and your husband Matthew are awesome.   Your story is helping so many.  Keep being you!

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 450: Liv Mendoza Haynes, Queer Latter-day Saint

My friend Marcus Hayden, age 19 and preparing for a mission, shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint.   Marcus starts with the excellent talk he gave in his BYU YSA Ward this summer based on Elder Gong’s talk “Room in the Inn” (https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/16gong?lang=eng).  Marcus does a great job of taking the principles from Elder Gong’s talk and applying them in real-life situations in our congregations.
 
Marcus then shares his story coming out at age 13 to his parents, at age 14 to his Bishop and out to a broader circle after he graduated from High School.   Marcus talks about the excellent support he is receiving from his parents, community, friends and local leaders.
 
Marcus then talks about his decision to serve a mission and why being gay is a good thing as a missionary representing the Savior to help others come unto Christ through our restored Church. 
 
Thank you Marcus for being on the podcast.  You have a beautiful and unique life mission to help others.   You are going to be a great missionary.

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 451: Marcus Hayden, Gay Latter-day Saint, Leaving on a Mission

My friend Andrea Lystrup is a licensed marriage and family therapist joining us to share insights on several important topics including 1) creating Zion within our Church; 2) tools to better love each other; 3) how to balance the tension between law and love; 4) working through pain when something said at Church is hurtful; 5) how to get through trauma/pain which is interfering with your relationship with God and ability to access your spirituality; and 6) advice for LDS couples in mixed-faith marriage.
 
Thank you Andrea for being on the podcast.   I was deeply moved by your insights and expertise to help bring us together and help/heal ourselves and others.   You are doing great and needed work.
 
Your can connect with Andrea at https://www.andrealystrup.com/ and Instagram @askandreamft

Episode 452: Andrea Lystrup, LMFT, Active LDS,  Love, Trauma, Unity

My friend Ed Axley (married father of four, business owner, RM from Costa Rica) share the unique aspects of our restored doctrine that led to his baptism into the Church at age 18.   Ed also shares four insightful ways to respond when people open with their life situations.   Ed concludes with helping each of us see ourselves as beloved children of Heavenly Parents and to never feel shame or less of ourselves—even in our worst moments.
 
Thank you Ed for being on the podcast.   You bring hope, wonderful perspective and a love for all of Heavenly Parents children.

Episode 453: Ed Axley, Convert, Recently Released Bishop, Gospel Insights

Welcome to our podcast!   My name is Richard Ostler (twitter:  twitter.com/Papa_Ostler; FB: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5; IG: instagram.com/papa_ostler/) and am a native of Salt Lake City.  

I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love:  Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) and Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints)

I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
and ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use

I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business).  I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and several grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City.   I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.

The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler.

I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside.  Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc.

This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children.   

Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said "We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord(Nov 2017 BYU Devotional)."   Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful.  

Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges.

Are podcast are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us.   You can't donate to this podcast.  There are no sponsors.   But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler  ❤
richard@ostlergroup.com
*I will respond to your e-mails*

Episode 416: Connor Berg, RM, Age 22, Gay Latter-day Saint

Richard Ostler

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