Dear Drippy Tone,
	
	It has been a while since I let you go of you, and I would like to address you with an open heart. I realized through a lot of deep self-work that you were a false persona I created to protect my own self. I learned that I hated myself deep down, and you helped numb everything to oblivion. I did not accept myself for who I was and sought validation from others to feel I mattered as a human being. The ego was in complete take over, but I understand now, it was to protect me. This persona I created was not at all who I was, but it helped protect me from the pathetic loser I believed I was deep down. I hated myself so much and I really tried becoming you Drippy Tone, but it didn’t work because I was not you, and you were not me.

I hated you Drippy Tone for a long time. I hated that you were me in the past. I hated it. Yes, hate is a strong word, I hated you. I started hating you once I became aware through therapy, and a lot of self-help, the fraud I had been for years. The awful ways I treated those around me. The fraudulent music. The spewing of hate everywhere…. I told my therapist the other day that you were a very paradoxical phase. I wanted to be loved, accepted, and validated by everyone, but my actions only pushed me further away. As of lately, I have been learning and practicing to love and accept myself for who I am and was, and that means all parts. SO I HAVE TO ACCEPT YOU DRIPPY TONE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
	

Accepting you doesn’t excuse myself from the actions I partook in, but I am working on forgiving myself for all of it. The music, the ego, the persona, the anger, the fake-thuggish lyrics, the ways I treated people, all of it. I understand now that I was just doing the best I could at that time. I look back now at all the pictures, music, memories, etc and either laugh or smile. Most of the time both. Sometimes I feel a deep sadness because I can’t imagine how alone I truly felt. 


Well, it was nice catching up with you old friend. Thank you for the time, wisdom, and memories. You were an interesting phase in my life, to say the least. I will continue trying to love, accept, and forgive you for everything, it'll take time. And the same goes for you, Lil Sauce….

Love,
Antonio Norvelle (September 23, 2024)

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