Dr. Avila's Live Valentine's Zoom Event: Find Your Soul Mate & Ask The 4 Magic Questions

SELF-LOVE FOR EVERYONE: RELEASE SELF-DOUBT, BUILD SELF-COMPASSION W/ MEGAN LOGAN

If you or a loved one is on the Autism spectrum, or if you have been curious about this condition, then you’re about to learn some fascinating things about this often-misunderstood diagnosis.  

On our Love University podcast, we had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Sneha Mathur, autism expert, as she enlightened us on the truth about those who are classified as being on the “spectrum.”  

Sneha talks with Dr. Avila about the natural diversity and creative potential that these unique individuals may possess. Although a number of them can have challenges in social and behavioral areas, they may also exhibit great qualities of creativity, intense focus, loyalty, the ability to detect patterns, and passionate productivity. 

According to Sneha, what was once viewed as a severe mental disorder can be reconceptualized in a more positive way that respects the abilities and contributions of these extraordinary people.

CLICK HERE tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON SPECTRUM SUCCESS: HOW AUTISM CAN HAVE HIDDEN ADVANTAGES, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, DR. SNEHA MATHUR, AUTISM EXPERT, AND DR. AVILA’S FORMER PRODUCER, THE MARVELOUS REGGIE PERALTA (“A SPECTRUM SUCCESS”)

SPECTRUM SUCCESS: ADVANTAGES OF AUTISM, W/ SNEHA MATHUR,  AND FORMER PRODUCER, REGGIE PERALTA

Once in a while you meet a person who is endlessly fascinating and an absorbing conversationalist. This is who we met when Donna Spruijt-Metz joined Dr. Avila on Love University Podcast.  An Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Public Health at USC, a former professional flutist, and an acclaimed poet, Donna enlightened us on various life topics and inspired us to find our true inner nature and develop a love for learning.

CLICK HERE  tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON DISCOVER YOUR GENIUS, FIND YOUR INNER POETRY, AND AGE GRACEFULLY, WITH SPECIAL GUEST DR. DONNA-SPRUIJT-MTEZ, POLYMATH AND RENAISSANCE WOMAN

DISCOVER YOUR GENIUS, FIND YOUR INNER POETRY, AND AGE GRACEFULLY, WITH DONNA-SPRUIJT-MTEZ

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CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE:   https://bit.ly/3SUUZte

 

Love is not dead, but it is evolving in unexpected and counterintuitive ways.  This is the conclusion of our fascinating guest on Love University, Vernon Anthony, acclaimed Cuban American Gen Z author and out of the box philosopher. According to Vernon, we’re becoming a society of flings, contracts, and rose-colored lenses that need to stay on.  “Doing philosophy with a sledgehammer,” Vernon’s mission is to smash holes in the walls of love and discover the truth that remains. 

 Some of his intriguing ideas include:

“A fling is an authentic experience that is superior to love in certain ways.”

“Love is a byproduct of passion.  Love is the object that passion attaches onto.” 

“Friendship is higher than love.”

“A long marriage equals a long conversation, not necessarily long love. Divorce is the inability to tolerate the voice of another.”

“Love is action; it doesn’t come to those who wait.”

“Self-love can be evil because you create an ideal of yourself instead of your true self.  Self-care is superior because it is based on the real you.” 

“Union with another in love can destroy their otherness. Each love partner must remain independent, and preserve their uniqueness and beauty, for a true partnership to blossom.”

“Love is temporary, but life is eternal (leaving a legacy).”

Provocative, controversial, and mind-bending, Anthony will definitely give you food for thought in the realms of love and relationships.

CLICK HERE tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON  IS LOVE DEAD? UNCONVENTIONAL MUSINGS ON DATING, SEX, LOVE, AND MARRIAGE WITH VERNON ANTHONY, ACCLAIMED AUTHOR AND CUTTING EDGE PHILOSOPHER

IS LOVE DEAD? UNCONVENTIONAL MUSINGS ON SEX AND LOVE, WITH PHILOSOPHER ANTHONY VERNON

THE MAN NOBODY KNEW: THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUE STORY OF AN AMERICAN HERO, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, EVAN STEWART, ACCLAIMED LEGAL SCHOLAR AND HISTORICAL AUTHOR

BY DR. ALEX AVILA

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL SHOW: tinyurl.com/mr6h798h

CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE:   https://bit.ly/3VaQpcV

 

What if I told you about an unsung hero, an American diplomat and businessman, who did incredible things to help America and the world during World War II? This man, one of America’s leading industrialists, put his business career on hold to help save European Jews during WWII, assist in deposing Mussolini, the Italian dictator, and block Germany from succeeding in the war.  On Love University Podcast, we had the pleasure of learning about this mystery man, Myron Taylor, courtesy of award-winning legal scholar, Evan Stewart. In Evan’s latest book, “The Man Nobody Knew,” Evan painstakingly recounts unknown and fascinating details about Myron’s influential, yet modest and humble life, and the way he helped save many lives during WWII. A fascinating portrait of a man who sacrificed for his country and the world, Myron’s life is an inspiration to many of us today who realize that history can, and does, repeat itself.

CLICK   tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON THE MAN NOBODY KNEW: THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUE STORY OF AN AMERICAN HERO, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, EVAN STEWART, ACCLAIMED LEGAL SCHOLAR AND HISTORICAL AUTHOR

THE MAN NOBODY KNEW: THE STORY OF AN AMERICAN HERO, W/ EVAN STEWART, ACCLAIMED SCHOLAR AND AUTHOR

HOW TO KICK EMOTIONAL BULLIES THE #*#* OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER, WITH EMMY WINNING ACTOR SEAN KANAN, “THE BAD BOY OF KARATE” FROM THE HIT SERIES COBRA KAI

 By Dr. Alex Avila

 CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL SHOW: tinyurl.com/mr6h798h

Do you have an emotional bully in your life who harasses, demeans, or criticizes you? Maybe it’s your boss, friend, or even your love partner.  Or perhaps you bully yourself relentlessly, pointing out all of your flaws and weaknesses and making you believe you’re a puny little nothing. If that’s the case, then there is help on the way. Our friend and favored guest, Sean Kanan, Emmy winner and beloved actor in the classic Karate Kid and Cobra Kai franchises, graced us with his advice on how to defeat the bullies in your life. Here are some important tips we learned from master teacher Sean (wayofthecobra.com):

 

*Never compromise your character. Stand firm in who you really are.  Don’t let other people try to tempt you or bully you into doing things you don’t really want to do. When you stay true to your inner self—your Hara (center of power in the East)—you will be happy and proud of your authentic nature. No one can push you off balance. 

*Respect yourself and others. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and other people. Although anger is a common reaction when others try to hurt us, we need to rein in our reactions and do what is best for our mental and physical health. See the angry person as someone who suffers from their own out of control nature, while you maintain your calm and peaceful composure. Practice self-care, breathe deeply, meditate, or engage in a spiritual practice. Conserve your integrity and peace of mind at all costs.

*Take a Personal Inventory. Fear is what holds many people back. In a journal or notebook, write down the fears you have in your life. Note the times you have the fear, the intensity of the fear, and what you did to deal with it.  When you do this, you will discover your fear triggers—when and how you become fearful and anxious. Now you can begin to neutralize the fears and focus on the parts of you that are good, powerful, and noble.

*Think From Abundance. Many times our anxieties, worries, and insecurities stem from our belief in lack—we think we don’t have enough; we’re not good enough. As a result, we settle for being with negative and critical people who feed into our erroneous self-belief that we’re not good enough. The simple antidote is to believe that there is an abundance of love, prosperity, health, and happiness for you. When you think from a mindset of abundance, you never have to settle for less. You can live more and love more, always.

Yes, you can defeat inner and outer bullies by the power of your mind. You don’t even have to throw a punch or kick. Most bullies are cowardly, so having a steely inner mind of confidence, poise, and balance will throw them off balance and defeat them. You can also defeat your inner critical thoughts (thought bullies) by saying: “I don’t need to listen to your poisonous words. I can be free, strong, loving, and happy. I am the Cobra. I am Invincible.”

 

Click here tinyurl.com/mr6h798h for more on HOW TO KICK EMOTIONAL BULLIES THE #*#* OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER, WITH EMMY WINNING ACTOR SEAN KANAN, “THE BAD BOY OF KARATE” FROM THE HIT SERIES COBRA KAI

Kick Emotional Bullies the #*#* Out of Your Life with Sean Kanan, Cobra Kai Star

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOKSIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALAUBLE KNOWLEDGE. 

Are you an intuitive and sensitive (feeling) person? Perhaps you’re someone who loves psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and finding the meaning of life. If that’s the case, then you may be an Idealistic Philosopher, the rare personality type (about 4%) who believes that “love is the perfect place: quiet, peaceful, and kind.” On Love University, Dr. Avila began a new series on the 16 LoveTypes (Myers-Briggs romantic styles) based on his classic bestseller LoveTypes. In this segment, Dr. Avila reveals the qualities of the Idealistic Philosopher personality and how they can find and keep love. Idealistic Philosophers (INFP on the Myers-Briggs) have these characteristics:

Internal (Introvert) Energy, represented by the letter I.  They primarily get energy from their own thoughts, as opposed to socializing with other people. Although they can be quite talkative and sociable at times, they can get tired talking too much and may need to retreat to a private and quiet place to recharge their batteries.

Intuitive/Imaginative, represented by the letter N.   Idealistic Philosophers view the world through their imagination and their vision of what is possible. They may not be as practical as the other LoveTypes, but they believe they can eventually bring their dreams into reality. They also believe they have a special mission to fulfill in life, and this vision will keep driving their quest for love and meaning.

Feeling/Sensitive, represented by the letter F.   Idealistic Philosophers make decisions primarily with their heart (feelings). If they need to say something to someone and it may hurt their feelings, they may not say it because they want to maintain harmony in the relationship. As feelers, single Idealistic Philosophers are also “hopeful romantics”—they’re always thinking the next person they meet could be their soulmate.

Spontaneous (or Perceiver on the Myers-Briggs), represented by the letter P.  Idealistic Philosophers tend to be playful, fun, and spontaneous. By other people’s standards, especially the more structured types, they may be disorganized and unstructured. However, Idealistic Philosophers don’t see it that way. They would say they are organized in their own way, and they value people and experiences over strict structure.  Their motto is: You only live once, enjoy it.

Therefore, by combining the four letters above, the Idealistic Philosopher is known as the INFP.

Overall, the Idealistic Philosopher (INFP) can be a warmly appreciative and supportive romantic partner.  In terms of challenges, if you’re an INFP, you tend to be hard on yourself (self-critical) so you need to practice self-love and self-forgiveness.  Here’s the good news: If you can love and appreciate yourself as an Idealistic Philosopher, you can attract a like-minded mate who shares your passion for finding a meaning in life. A good match for you is an Idealistic Philosopher or the more structured Mystic Writer (INFJ on the Myers-Briggs).  Regardless of your disappointments in the romantic world, as an INFP you can discover your compatible love partner. When you meet that ideal soul mate, your joy will have no bounds, and you will create a harmonious relationship that lasts a lifetime.  



 CLICK HERE tinyurl.com/mr6h798h FOR MORE ON THE IDEALISTIC PHILOSOPHER: SECRETS OF THE MOST SPIRITUAL OF THE 16 LOVETYPES (MYERS-BRIGGS TYPES)

The Idealistic Philosopher:  Secrets of the most spiritual of the 16 Myers Briggs Types

Do you get stressed, afraid, or sad?  Does conflict with others wear you down? If the answer is yes, there is a solution for you.  It is called empathy: caring and giving with intention—both to yourself and others. Our esteemed guest on Love University, Judith Orloff (drjudithorloff.com), empathic psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author shared light on the “Genius of Empathy” from her new book with the same title. According to Judith, empathy is an important part of emotional intelligence and a powerful healing tool for ourselves and others.  Here’s what we learned from Judith about the amazing gift of empathy:

*You need to start with self-empathy.  You may be hard on yourself, self-critical and attacking yourself about your flaws and mistakes. This is especially the case for sensitive and caring people who often excessively take on the psychological burdens of others and don’t know how to set healthy boundaries. If this sounds like you, it's important to put yourself in your own shoes and be an advocate for your self-worth and value.  Love yourself by putting your hand over your heart and repeating this phrase: “I forgive myself for my past and I open my heart to my future. I am a loving and valuable human being. I can say “No” to others and still be OK. All is well.”

*Practice empathy toward others.  Place yourself in other people’s shoes; feel as they feel during your time with them.  When someone angrily cuts you off on the road, instead of getting angry in return, you can slow down your thought process and see the situation through their eyes. You can consider, “Maybe they’re having a rough day—perhaps they’re feeling sick or just got into a fight with a loved one. There may be a reason for their behavior that I’m not seeing.” When you substitute your irritation and anger for empathy and love, you start to display compassion, and you have a desire to relieve their suffering. Think about how much the angry person suffers from their own reactions—their face gets red, their veins pop. They can’t really help themselves. Now you can forgive them and move on to a higher plane of feeling.

 

*Develop empathy toward the world.  According to Judith, it’s important to understand the “Power of We” instead of “Us Versus Them.”  The truth is that we are all interconnected as human beings. We all share this planet. We all breathe in air, eat, sleep, love, and work. We suffer from the same feelings of regret, sadness, anger, and frustration. We all want to love and be loved, enjoy life in the way we can, and feel meaningful or valuable in some way. By seeing other people as part of a grand human family, we can develop a global sense of empathy. We can send a healing thought or prayer to people in parts of the world who are in horrible conflict or strife.  Also, by practicing the beautiful Tonglen meditation, we can inhale the suffering of others and breathe out compassion and love.  In this way, we can help heal the world as we heal ourselves.

Empathy is on a continuum. Some people are very empathetic, others moderately so, and some (sociopaths, narcissists) have little, if any, empathy. The good news is that a majority of people can increase their empathy toward themselves and others.  By doing so, you will quiet the unkind voices in your head (self-critical thoughts), and you will befriend yourself and others.  You will also establish good boundaries so you are not overwhelmed by the negativity of others. And, most importantly of all, you will extend loving energy without expectation and shine your light of love to all who may receive it. Empathy is truly a genius, and the genius is in you.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOK SIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALUABLE KNOWLEDGE.

THE GIFT OF EMPATHY: HEAL YOUR SOUL AND BRING LIGHT TO YOUR WORLD, w/ JUDITH ORLOFF,  PSYCHIATRIST

YOUR YEAR OF HAPPINESS, LOVE, AND SUCCESS: WITH SPECIAL GUEST MARCI SHIMOFF, WOMAN'S FACE OF "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL," MEGASELLING TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR AND SPEAKER

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL SHOW: tinyurl.com/mr6h798h
By Dr. Alex Avila

Is this the year of your prosperity, joy, and love? The answer is a resounding “Yes” according to our distinguished guest on Love University, Marci Shimoff (happyfornoreason.com) the woman’s face of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series and #1 NY bestselling transformational author (Happy for no Reason; Love for No Reason).  In our delightful conversation, Marci shared the secrets of maintaining your happiness and loving nature and achieving your dreams, regardless of any obstacles and problems you may experience.  Here are some of the marvelous insights we learned from Marci:

*Believe the Universe is Loving and Benevolent.  Happy and successful people expect that good things will happen to them. Because of their optimistic and grateful natures, they are open to new opportunities. They are prepared to accept the best and they often receive the best the Universe has to offer.  Repeat this to yourself every day:  “The Universe has abundant good for me—love, happiness, and success. I just need to open the door to my wonderful good.”

*Build Up Your Emotional Immune System. Mood contagion is what happens when you pick up the moods of other people—either positive or negative.  This is especially the case if you are a sensitive or empathic person who absorbs the energy of others. When you’re around negative people, tell yourself:  “I am my own castle of positive energy; no one and nothing can enter and disrupt my peace and happiness. I am protected and safe.  I am content.”

*Take Ownership of Your Happiness.  According to Marci, many people need to have a reason for happiness (“I need a new job, relationship, house, experience…”).  The problem is that happiness from external things soon wears off and you’re back to the emotional state you had before. Lasting happiness comes when you don’t have a reason for your happiness. You are just happy, period. To develop your inner happiness, repeat this to yourself:  “I will not let any unhappy thoughts penetrate my mind. If a negative thought enters my mind temporarily, I will quickly discard it. I will only allow peaceful and joyful thoughts to penetrate my consciousness. I am happy and free.”

*Raise Your Love Set Point. Love Set point refers to a certain baseline level of loving energy that you tend to have in most situations. The good news is that you can increase your love set point; you can become more loving, and you can feel more loved.  For example, you can practice unconditional self-love by loving the unlovable in you (something you consider unappealing about yourself). Part of this is forgiving yourself for any things you have done that you regret.  Also, you can become more loving toward others by giving fully from your heart—doing altruistic and kind acts to help others (giving money to the homeless, listening empathetically to a hurting friend). At the same time, you can look for the similarities and beauty in others and recognize the oneness of all humanity. Finally, you can connect with a Higher Nature (God, Spirit, nature) that is all-loving and helps actualize your potential to love yourself and others to the fullest.

Yes, this will be the year of your happiness, success, and love.  All you have to do is work from the inside out—develop these traits first within yourself—and then manifest them in the outside world. When you do this, you will attract all you desire:  career and financial success, excellent physical and mental health, and an amazing lifestyle.  Yes, this is your year of wonder and accomplishment. Rejoice in it; excel in it, love it.

Your Year of Happiness and Success, w/ Marci Shimoff, the woman's face of Chicken Soup for the Soul

REWRITE ILLNESS INTO YOUR PERSONAL TRIUMPH STORY: WITH ELIZABETH BENEDICT, NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST AND CANCER SURVIVOR

 

By Dr. Alex Avila

 

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CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE:        https://bit.ly/3Jyzkme   


 

Do you or a loved one have a serious, life-threatening illness? Do you fear contracting a deadly disease in the future and having no hope for your recovery? If so, there is a way for you to rewrite your sickness story into one of triumph and peace. Our inspiring guest on Love University, Elizabeth Benedict, bestselling author and cancer survivor, shared her personal experience (Rewriting Illness) about illness (elizabethbenedict.com). On the show, she enlightened us about the realities of disease, love, and recovery. Here are some of the things we learned:

*Medical Professional’s emotional reactions can influence a patient’s mental and physical state.  In psychology, mood contagion occurs when we pick up the moods of others—whether good or bad. A medical professional’s fears or negative emotions can influence the patient in a negative way. At the same time, positive emotions expressed by medical providers—compassion, optimism, and love—can also be healing forces to help the patient in their recovery.

*There may be a gendered response to illness.  Men tend to be more stoic about illness and not as hyperfocused on their bodies as women often are (which explains why men may detect illness in later stages when it’s too late).

*Serious illness is an internal power struggle—choose your own way.  Some people benefit by talking about their illness to loved ones—it helps them release their tension and fear. Others do better by not talking a lot about it and focusing on positive thoughts and activities. Each person has a different internal battle and needs to choose the mental approach that works best for them.

*Fear needs to be balanced.  According to Elizabeth, patients need to strike the right balance between feeling too much fear about an illness and not having enough fear to protect themselves from danger.  Although fear can be a practical and useful ally, too much fear can paralyze a person and take away their joy for living, which prevents them from maintaining the proper recovery mindset.

The truth is that a majority of us will get sick and die one day. Yet, we don’t know the time or the way. Those who trust in a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) understand that they will be called from their bodies at the appropriate time. In the meantime, our duty is to live with as much love, joy, and contribution as we possibly can while we’re here on earth. As long as you have your body, rejoice in it, love it, and be grateful for it.

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REWRITE YOUR ILLNESS INTO TRIUMPH : WITH ELIZABETH BENEDICT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND CANCER SURVIVOR

Love Yourself, Others, and a Higher Nature!

Dr. Avila's Live Valentine's Zoom Event: Find Your Soul Mate & Ask The 4 Magic Questions

Love University Podcast w/ Dr. Alex Avila