<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

produced by jpjp
vocals + lyrics by heylog & i'm geist

lyrics:
your caught around my throat
i don't think you wanna know what i know
you remember we were close
now i don't call you a bro anymore
watch out i might contain hostility
you say u know but you don't know me
i guess i'm used to it
people that i know always abusing it

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

so long, won’t accept my defeat
i know i’m running out of time
but i can’t even breathe

lost cause, threw me into the sea
it’s not what i wanted to be
they prayed i drowned in the deep

but i’m holding on
there’s so much left inside of my head that i’m fighting for
what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars
what went wrong?
i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

through my veins, through my skin

SPOTIFY

heylog & i'm geist - through the veins, through my skin (jpjp)

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

produced by sleepwater leftquiet and heylog
w @heylog

im losing faith and abilities
i wish i was brave im never at ease
what did you say to me
nothing was made for me
nothing went the way of the willow
ill sit right here and wait by my window

picking leaves for you to see
i hate these trees when i cant breathe
im sick of me i said too much
i hate myself not scared to crush
im not scared to crush
i hate myself
not fair no touch
i did this to myself

come destroy me now i rlly wanna know
i locked inside your arms
i hate the way it goes
im locked inside a farm 
while u remove his coat
ive never had the time 
to let anyone close

heylog:
just a log and a tree standing open in fields
rough times for a being if u don't know how to heal
kill me lover, push below the ground
oh i can't stand it here, not even an ounce
oh you
oh my
come back
to my side
i dont know myself
dont go ill stay and get help

no i dont miss you
hate what u done to me
say that your in love me
200 hundred days
where i would see you
i made a mistake
now i cant see you

fields w/heylog

heylog - if this was the last time

𝙞 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬
prod. kais
shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt & https://soundcloud.com/heylog for getting on this with me <3

lyrics:
(kais)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

(skele)
ooooo
there’s nobody here 
anymore 
look around
oh i wanted 
to feel 
you breaking down 
grab my throat 
need to feel something 
blood soaked house 
it won’t let me leave
scars won’t show 
but i feel them bleed 
n if i don’t choke 
would you be proud of 
me 
of me

(heylog)
don't look back at me
forget everything
hearing high-pitched rings
hanging by a string
I look up
what have I become?
oh god, you tell me to run
rooftops hidden by the snow
every limb appears white
and your body sits and glows
it glows

(kais, skele, & heylog)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

bound

bound w/skele & heylog

prod by me :>

(skylin)
all the hatred that you're giving me is only poisoning
at least with my enemies i know what it is they seek
I rather judas instead of someone backstabbing me
oh you're pathetic askin me if I would forgive you

I never go out or talk to people like I know I should
it's easier not engaging and hiding inside my hood
sometimes I tend to fail myself and everyone around me
I guess it kinda scared me from socially interacting

on the darkest days I don't know who it is that I will call
but I am hoping you answer because im bout to fall
and I don't know where I am going but ik you know it all
so I am calling out to you please do not let me fall


(heylog)
catch me on the other end
what i said i really meant
what are all the thoughts your brain holds
what's inside that head
i think i finally figured you out
i think it's time to step out your life now
i don't know what i did for you to become untied to me
if you're gonna act like this then break it off entirely
and if i would've known your emotions would all start piling
then i would've kept it hush instead of you crying to me
i was there for you when no one else was
now i'm seeing the truth and exposing your bluffs
i was there for you at your lowest point
don't go and blame it on me, this wasn't my choice

[[anger - disconnect]]

traitor w/heylog

traitor w/ heylog (Now on Spotify)

まだグラインダーの回る音が聞こえる 
mada guraindā no mawaru oto ga kikoeru 
I can still hear the sound of the grinder turning 

日々の闘いの音、
hibi no tatakai no oto,
the sound of daily struggle,

絶え間なく回り続ける。
taemanaku mawari tsuzukeru.
spinning endlessly without pause.

すべてが絞り出され、すべてが背負わされ、
subete ga shiboridas are, subete ga seowas are,
Everything wrung out, everything shouldered,

何も残らなくなるまで。
nani mo nokoranaku naru made.
until nothing remains.

それでもまだ — 心臓は鼓動している。
soredemo mada — shinzō wa kodō shite iru.
And yet still — the heart is beating.

苦いが、真実だ。
nigai ga, shinjitsu da.
Bitter, but true.

コーヒーはもう冷めてしまった、
kōhī wa mō samete shimatta,
The coffee has already gone cold,

でも暖かさはまだ空気の中に残っている 
demo atatakasa wa mada kūki no naka ni nokotte iru 
but the warmth still lingers in the air 

決して消えなかった約束のように、
kesshite kienakatta yakusoku no yō ni,
like a promise that never faded,

たとえあの時が過ぎ去ったとしても。
tatoe ano toki ga sugisatta toshite mo.
even though that time has passed.

光が鉄の隙間から差し込む、
hikari ga tetsu no sukima kara sashikomu,
Light pierces through gaps in the iron,

砕けている、だがまだ美しい。
kudakete iru, daga mada utsukushii.
fractured, but still beautiful.

空気中には埃が舞っている、
kūki-chū ni wa hokori ga matte iru,
Dust dances in the air,

でも今はそれが汚れとは思えない 
demo ima wa sore ga yogore to wa omoenai 
but now it doesn't feel like dirt 

ただ、私がまだ息をしていることを思い出させるだけ。
tada, watashi ga mada iki wo shite iru koto wo omoidasaseru dake.
it only reminds me that I'm still breathing.

飲み込んできたすべてを覚えている 
nomikonde kita subete wo oboete iru 
I remember everything I've swallowed 

言葉、涙、
kotoba, namida,
words, tears,

心の中の重荷。
kokoro no naka no omoni.
the weight within my heart.

たぶん、こういうことなのだろう 
tabun, kō iu koto na no darō 
Perhaps this is what it means 

平穏は訪れる
heion wa otozureru
peace arrives

修復不可能なほどに壊されて、
shūfuku fukanō na hodo ni kowasarete,
after being broken beyond repair,

それでもまだ、自分が残っているときに。
soredemo mada, jibun ga nokotte iru toki ni.
and yet when something of yourself still remains.

今、世界がゆっくりと息をしているようだ。
ima, sekai ga yukkuri to iki wo shite iru yō da.
Now, the world seems to breathe slowly.

静かで、だが満ちている。
shizuka de, daga michite iru.
Quiet, yet full.

何も言う必要はない —
nani mo iu hitsuyō wa nai —
There's no need to say anything —

ただ私がここにいる、それだけで十分だ。
tada watashi ga koko ni iru, sore dake de jūbun da.
just that I am here, that alone is enough.

まだ生きている。
mada ikite iru.
Still alive.

ほんの今だけ、
honno ima dake,
Only for this moment,

でも確かに。
demo tashika ni.
but certainly.

ジューンのためのコーヒー (june's)

Heaven in my Heart

this track was produced by @nevrfall

lyrics:
i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

life ur body, dont feel ashamed
i still feel u miles away
i still feel lonely when im with you
all these people around and i miss you
i dont think this feelings right
caught your stare as we locking eyes
i dont know who these people are
bandages gotta hide my scars

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
𝘰𝘩. 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸...
𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

I BARELY KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THESE WOMEN ARE
I BARELY KNOW WHO THIS BITCH IS
BABY JUST HOLD ME ITS GETTING DARK
WHERE I AM 2 HOURS DIFFERENCE
NOW WERE APART EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT
NOW WERE AFAR EVERYTHING FEELS DISTANT
IN 4 YEARS
will we still be kissing?

i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

miles away (p. nevrfall)

this song was produced/mixed/mastered by heylog

lyrics:
im popping all my cells
where are u now
tell me this is real
cause i love to doubt
i just wanna lay on here
farther from the place ur near
i heard your whisper in my ear
3 words that ive always feared

ur easy to fall in love
i honestly cant get enough
get enough
but hey
youve pulled me away
from the bullshit and pain
i hope that i could do the same
i never been on this page
but tell
tell me this is true
i cant stand being lied to
but you
you wont admit
all the things you did

someone put me in my place
im tired of my mistakes
are u sure wanna love me
baby its too late
i just wanna lay with u
fall back in my dirty shoes
no one even has a clue
i like u cause u think im cool

ur skin and bones feelin mine
thrift shirt reflect off the light
clear frames with big pretty eyes
pretty eyes
but wait
will i see u today?
i already miss ur face
can u call me by my name
i cant go another day
but i
i was in need for your love
i guess i asked for way too much
but you
you wont do shit
you stole what i gave

heylog - if this was the last time

t7ae