smoother than a bih bro it's like it was made for slurpin' purple pints to

RADIO MIX

ihateyousnolax - haunt me

Introduction in English:

On a Saturday, 9 June 1989, I receive a phone call from my mother at around 6 am. She seems to be laughing. But as it soon turns out, tears are bursting out of her. At first she can only say one sentence: "Your father is dead". Then her voice fails. I, who has just been roused from my sleep by the ringing, at first think it's a bad joke. My father, not even 55 years old, dead, who had been so full of energy in the last few months? With whom I had spoken lively on the phone just a week ago?
Then my eldest sister comes to the phone. She speaks like a robot, as if she has frozen all her feelings inside herself.
She confirms the sudden death of my father from a heart attack and urges me to come immediately from Berlin to southern Germany (800 kilometres away).
Much of what happened after that - from the last encounter with my father in the morgue, to the years of vacillating between feelings of liberation and sometimes massively frightening "I'll bring you to me in the realm of the dead" nightmares after his funeral, to finding a deeper inner peace with him in the last few years - I wrote down and sang about in the following song "My Father in Heaven".      
However, the song lyrics are not chronological, but set in 2011, in which I am all alone on a beautiful summer day in the cemetery where my father's grave is located. From this day I start a retrospective and an outlook.     

Lyrics:

My Father in Heaven

What a beautiful day
All alone in the graveyard 
Come to visit you
Without a grudge

It's unbelievably quiet
Hear the dead deep asleep 
In an beyond harbour
Be with you soon

I hated you sometimes 
Had you so gladly touched,
You're gone too soon 
Left me alone with the dirt 
Of this life.

Wanted to tell you so much more 
You can't sneak away like that
A moment ago you were still there  
I felt quite close to you,

Now only 
A cold hand in the morgue
Nothing more moves

My father in heaven, 
I miss you very much, 
With wistfulness my heart sometimes
Becomes so heavy

When you were suddenly dead
Many things seemed easier, 
I moved forward in life, 
I looked free

but when I slept at night,
you'd come into my dreams, 
trying to pull me over, 
to the land beyond.

You didn’t let me go for so long 
Lying like a black mourning box
On my chest and belly, 
Felt like I was in a tube 
Trapped by you.

Often couldn’t defend myself
Felt completely without power 
When in the deep of the night
you came to my room, 

without a body, 
pure soul contact,
worlds still unknown to me.

Father in heaven,
do you hear me now,
I speak to you in peace, 
I am no longer hurt.

Your grave is newly decorated,
I've picked a bouquet for you, 
I sit down with you, 
I surrender tot he silence
peaceful silence. 

I am here now, you there
even if the wall separates us,
we see each other invisibly, 
You always stay close to me, 

I'll go on now, 
Stay here, 
I'll be back soon

Father in heaven
I think of you often 
You are indispensable, 
Come with me....

My Father in Heaven

My Father In Heaven

Pressa - Harriet (addr. Remix)

kate bush

Third part of my father trilogy.
The father trilogy ends with my naïve and youthful attempt, at the age of 23, to break away from my father, who seemed overpowering at the time, and stand on my own two feet: 
To move as far away as possible from my provincial hometown, to throw myself into a Berlin that was completely foreign to me at the time and completely overwhelming. 
My saviour at the time was my oldest friend, who had already been living in Berlin for a few years and took me under his wing like a big brother.     
But even with his help, I soon had to realise that the attempt at a radical inner "patricide" could not succeed in any way. The early imprints he had left on me, the demons I had 'inherited' from him, were all still there. No matter how much I turned my outer life upside down, there was no escape from the central patterns and beliefs that I had learnt from my father in the first 10 years of my life.
In this respect, the song title "The Singular Man" is a "Mission Impossible". It was only three years later, and especially after his early death, that I realised more and more that a lifelong confrontation with my inner father images could lead to a closely linked dialectic:
An ever deeper and visibly more reconciliatory bond with my father and, at the same time, an ever-increasing self-realisation    
 
The Singular Man  (Lyrics in English)

Run through streets crooked and skewed 
The bridges criss-cross

All around me the stink of the city
An army of people everywhere

Turn in somewhere now
Fall in at your door

You are alone
Your corridor infinitely long
Your walls high and wide 
Your front door broad and welcoming

You push me through the corridor now 
At the windows the siren-
song

I get scared and bang 
Am I still
Your catch of fish
Your silhouette
That only plays at being free

And yet I have escaped you 
Escaped!

I take off all hinges
Hang out the windows
Make me a magic wand
Grey Berlin becomes a colourful bouquet for me 

Ride on a peacock wheel
Take a foam spring bath in the Spree

All light 
Time thrown into the air

Pain-free in a glittering dress
An ecstatic feeling of life

But something pushes back
Under the carpet lies the hanging rope
The spider's web is
Still there
The old danger

I only know about her now 
Keep me out of her more 

Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man
Man Oh man, the singular man


Der Singuläre Mann (Deutscher Originaltext)

Lauf’ durch Straßen krumm und schief, 
Die Brücken kreuz und quer

Um mich herum der Großstadtmief
Überall ein Menschen-Heer

Bieg' irgendwo jetzt ein
Fall’ bei Dir zur Tür herein

Du bist allein
Dein  Flur unendlich lang
Deine Wände hoch und weit 
Deine Eingangstür willkommens-breit

Schiebst mich jetzt durch den Gang 
An den Fenstern der Sirenen-
Gesang

Mir wird Angst und Bang 
Bin ich immer noch
Dein Fischfang
Dein Schattenbild
Das das Freisein nur spielt

Und doch bin ich Dir entflohen 
Entflohen!

Lege alle Scharniere ab
Häng' die Fenster aus
Bastle mir einen Zauberstab
Grau-Berlin wird mir zum bunten Strauß 

Fahr auf nem‘ Pfauenrad
Nehm‘ in der Spree ein Schaum-Frühlingsbad

Alles leicht 
In die Luft geworfene Zeit

Schmerzbefreit im Glitzerkleid
Ein rauschhaftes Lebensgefühl

Doch etwas drängt zurück
Unterm Teppich liegt der Häng‘-Dich-Strick
Das Spinnennetz ist
Immer noch da
Die alte Gefahr

Kenn‘ mich jetzt nur mit ihr aus 
Halt mich mehr aus ihr raus 

Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann
Mann Oh Mann, der Singuläre Mann

Der Singulare Mann (The Singular Man)

Der Singuläre Mann (The Singular Man)

It’s YC I’m free. Fuck 12 fuck DOCCS

nØ hØØK (prod. ayomz)

Copyright Janurary 2024 © All rights reserved ® Grim Jones Musical Enterprises™ a.k.a. Maco's Shadow Music ™ I made the beat and recorded my vocals on it. The cover art is a picture of a custom hoodie I made. Here's the youtube link - I finally uploaded the single version there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGOH_vUJEco

DEMON SEASON (SELF PRODUCED)

I never would have thought such an ugly experience could lead to something so beautiful. I hold this song very dear to my heart. The beat production process took me months to create. I had to have my heart and mind smashed into countless pieces in order for this to come to fruition. 15 vocal tracks and 6 different takes stacked in the chorus. © Copyright April 24 2024. All rights reserved to Malcolm Alexander Leinberger A.K.A. Maco's Shadow A.K.A. Grim Jones Musical Enterprises.® Lyrics: 
i told myself
i need no one
musta been drunk
why am i so dumb?
why do i run
from all the love?
why can't i trust anyone?
when all said and done 
everyone goes
everyone must
nobody knows
how to break up
ya ya i know
i lost my mind
so long ago
so sick of this fight 
please let it go
i lost my life
in a glass bowl
i lost my light
down a dark road
lost track of time
where did it go?
don't think i'm fine
where is my hope?
am i in hell?
nobody knows
tell me some lies
tell me i'm dope
tell me i'm fine
tell me i felt
what was just mine
obsessed with self
darkness in my mind
no one to tell
nobody minds
i won't as well
feel so alone
peace is a joke
leave with my bones
crushed in my heart,
it's torn apart
doing these drugs,
till peace is far
and i just shrug
Malcolm please come down off that stuff
please can you trust
we need you with us
don't turn up dead please don't doubt
i need god and a priest for now
let these demons drown i need Jesus now
they eatin' me alive kill these leaches how
i'd seen myself in a dream about
3 years ago gotta leave this town
gotta quit these drugs get clean somehow
let the love in let these demons out
i'm by myself
i need some help
i got my love
but that ain't enough now
forget all these drugs
i am too numb now
never even felt
i lost myself 
forgot who i was
is this just hell?
who are you to tell?
could you just help?
never even felt
lied to myself
said i needed no one
how could i be so dumb?
....................
i told myself
i need no one
musta been drunk
why'm i so dumb?
why do i run
from all the love?
why can't i trust
anyone
when all said and done 
everyone goes
everyone must
nobody knows
how to break up
ya ya i know
i lost my mind
so long ago

I Need Help [self produced]

DROP!

CLONES [Feat. HollowLucy]

why throw shade at a shadow? Rapper&Producer https://open.spotify.com/artist/3jkJ3WzuGG2qiTUFg2b2ks  https://grimjones.bandcamp.com *Limited time⏱Extra low prices!💸😮on...*Features🎤Many styles!(Not just 'rap rap')Singing-rnb,pop&alt rock.Screaming-Metal&Grunge.*Beats🎹🎸🎻🥁🎼©®™(Any Genre-Unique Custom HQ WAV file made in Ableton)*Cover Art🖼💻🎑(Vibrant One of A Kind JPEG,GIF,PNG)*Vocal Mixing/EQing🎛🎧The same VSTs/Pre-sets I use on my vocals on my 
MacBook Pro(or custom)*Ghost Written Verses&Hooks👻📝 I have hundreds in dozens of styles in the vault or I can customize on topics/want lots of similes? Pop culture/movie references?/Hyperboles?Metaphors?Alliterations?Sad?Happy?Mad? LMK FAM 💡 *And finally, artist merch for my brand (AND YOURS?) - Grim Jones Music©👟🎒👖👕🕶🖇🖋🖊✒🔌 (Uploading more pics & making more Hoodies, Hats, Jeans, Tees, etc! soon) D.M. on IG/FB/here [not in comments] (Also hmu for concert tickets for my upcoming shows in Vancouver,Sunshine Coast&Vancouver Island!🎫🎟 Please follow me on Band Camp@ grimjones.bandcamp.com/follow_me &Spotify@ open.spotify.com/artist/3jkJ3WzuGG2qiTUFg2b2ks since it's very hard to gain traction on those platforms) New albums are on all platforms @ push.fm/fl/ea9b0nvd *&@ push.fm/fl/yybngyb6 *MOST FEATURES ON YOUTUBE/FB/IG/BC/SPOTIFY* THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I APPRECIATE EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR SHOWING LOVE&SUPPORT<3 Rapper/Singer.Beat Maker/Producer.Song Writer/Performer. Fashion/Graphic Designer. New albums are on all platforms @ https://push.fm/fl/ea9b0nvd *&@ https://push.fm/fl/yybngyb6 NEW VIDEO@ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7zO0D6Zz08 THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH I APPRECIATE EVERY ONE OF YOU! STAY SAFE GXNG!<3Thanks for showing love. You can download my music4free (donations accepted2). If you enjoy please follow and share with friends/family. I experiment with making beats and mixing my vocals.I blend 
genres...TRY2 STAY GRATEFUL THO NO MATTER WHAT! 100%  Videos@ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQxFbjPIK1A Music is everything. It's the main thing keeping me going. Most of my songs are dark, personal and emotional. I don't like complaining or bringing people down with me in everyday life so most of it ends up in my songs. No one will ever fully understand us because we won't experience the same blessings/misfortunes. In that sense we're alone although ironically also together in our shared pain.(I like to think we're always connected to something more) Hopefully we can feel less alone by relating to music. I've been writing poetry since I was around age 9, freestyling rap since 14, making beats since 2014 and marrying all 3 into full songs since 2015. I'm a recovering addict. Growing up, Mom was on drugs. My parents split up when I was six. Luckily I have the best Father ever. He raised me and my brother for the most part. Bro is doing great! <3 But we all have our struggles... I've known pain all too well since the beginning. I had 2 major surgeries as a kid. There was other trauma and abuse as a child which probably partly led to some self destructive/medicating behavior. I was an outcast/loner in highschool. It's all in the music. I rap, sing and scream over instrumentals that usually I made - or someone else in the rarer case - If the latter I always give credit and use strictly for non profit... MUCH more frequently released & NEW songs on Youtube & Instagram & Facebook in album&single form. Need to get more albums on all streaming platforms soon again. Hold me to that please! 5 Full self made albums on all streaming platforms totaling 55 songs.(15+ albums on mains) If you enjoy/relate/laugh at/cry to/feel my music at all please follow me on Band Camp / Spotify / Facebook / Instagram and subscribe to my Youtube channel - GRIM JONES MUSIC a.k.a. MACO'S SHADOW (LINKS BELOW) Stay strong and safe out there! Peace

nØ hØØK (prod. ayomz)

yvngraxz

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