Trepidation as I walk through the fog
Can see nothing but the shadows in front of me
When did life become such a slog?
I don’t know what you want me to be
Shapes shift in front of me, but I can’t reach
God’s tests are made where studying’s a chore
Hanging onto life, dangling like a leech
I don’t know if I can take this anymore
It’s a finale where no one shows
A ceremony of horrors haunting
Everything’s gone out of control
The future tense has left me wanting
 
Living like this is a curse I can’t break
I don’t know if I can do it for your sake
I’ll walk on these feet until they break
There’s nothing more that I can take
I don’t know who you want to see
But I know it’s not the real me
I can flee, but I’m never free
This curse, it kills eventually
 
Lucid walking through strange dreams
Makes more sense than my life left behind
Reality’s tearing at the seams
I think I might be out of time
Been in stagnation since I was born
Taking escalators to a fitting end
And I’ll leave life with St. Peter’s scorn
I’ll break but I will never bend
Burrowing beneath the skin
Little seeds of doubt have grown
Life’s not something you can win
Born alone, die alone
 
Living like this is a curse I can’t break
I don’t know if I can do it for your sake
I’ll walk on these feet until they break
There’s nothing more that I can take
I don’t know who you want to see
But I know it’s not the real me
I can flee, but I’m never free
This curse, it kills eventually

Hanging Hills

The Flying Kipper

Track #2 on Negative Zero's second album, Hanging Hills

Chasing Impossible

Lyrics:

I feel it pounding in my chest
I swear I’ll lay myself to rest
Cold sweat forming on my neck
Forced to keep myself in check
I sense my dreams becoming real
As I taste the chilling steel
Blinds closed so nobody sees
Just what has become of me

Oceans swimming in the dark
Here to leave their final mark

Take me on my final ride
Show me what’s waiting inside
My mind ends up my only home
Every second I’m alone
My mental state is now degrading
I can feel my heartbeat fading
Struggling against the night
I don’t want to die here tonight

Thoughts forming to never leave
Words uttered, meant to deceive
Door locked so nobody knows
That I’ve lost all my control
Fear is but a fleeting fad
The strongest one I ever had
Free me from this masquerade
In the grave that I have made

Oceans swimming in the dark
Here to leave their final mark

Take me on my final ride
Show me what’s waiting inside
My mind ends up my only home
Every second I’m alone
My mental state is now degrading
I can feel my heartbeat fading
Struggling against the night
I don’t want to die here tonight

Lycoris

Heartbeat

Lyrics:

Day to day struggles pulling me under
Gripping the edge only for it to sunder
Speaking the same thing, boring the masses
Watching life move on as it passes
Whose fault is it really? No need to say
How could you know when it’s being downplayed?
Dragged through the dregs, just leave me be
Feasting on insecurities
Let the suffering commence every waking moment
In the mirror fighting the same opponent
Waking up just to sleep’s not real existence
But change always brings about real resistance
Playing on repeat with skipping segments
Pitying words with false intent
Picking scabs until they bleed; never taking heed
Every birthday gone without getting what I need
 
The plan keeps changing ‘til it ruptures
Crumbling down like a rotting structure
The goalposts keep racing far ahead
So why is the story another retread?
We’ve all heard this tale before
Of an undesirable wanting more
Hold the gas can and burn it all down
Cinders and ashes, it’s coming around
 
Repetitions got me in a real bind
A padded cell where I’m confined
No one would listen if I wrote down my thoughts
I can fight forever, but it’s all for naught
Lay down your arms and get down on the ground
Cry all you want, but don’t make a sound
Loneliness is an ironic friend
There’s no need to fight and amend
Come down from your pedestal into the stocks
Reveal your truth for the whole world to mock
We’re all the clowns and the audience as well
The world we live in is no different than Hell
The history that we’re all doomed to repeat
Are follies that we lay at our feet
Forget-me-nots planted at my grave
It’s the irony that I still crave
 
The plan keeps changing ‘til it ruptures
Crumbling down like a rotting structure
The goalposts keep racing far ahead
So why is the story another retread?
We’ve all heard this tale before
Of an undesirable wanting more
Hold the gas can and burn it all down
Cinders and ashes, it’s coming around

Cinders and Ashes

Lyrics:

She stayed silent with lips sewn shut
No patch of skin remained uncut
She slogged through the nightmare of the waking day
Eyes unfocused on the growing decay
She wanted to fly through peaceful skies
But her launching pad became capsized
She can swim, but she can’t beat the tide
No matter how hard she tried
 
But my feelings, they stayed the same
No matter how they misplaced blame
You flew so high I couldn’t see
I hope that at least now you’re free
 
I couldn’t take the hurt away
I understand you couldn’t stay
You’ll stay alive in binded tomes
Another name carved into stone
The crimes that other people do
I hate how they affected you
I loved you ‘til we said goodbye
Until the light had left your eyes
 
She told no soul her heart was drowning
The clock kept moving; time kept counting
She curled into a little ball
Scared to live; scared of it all
What tragedy befalls her next
Your life knows not what it affects
She climbed until her hands grew tired
She lived until her life expired
 
But my feelings, they stayed the same
No matter what your heart may claim
You flew so high I couldn’t see
Will I see you eventually?
 
I couldn’t take the hurt away
I understand you couldn’t stay
You’ll stay alive in binded tomes
Another name carved into stone
The crimes that other people do
I hate how they affected you
I loved you ‘til we said goodbye
Until the light had left your eyes
 
But my feelings, they remain true
I’m sorry I didn’t know you
You told me life’s harder than it seems
I never figured out what it means
 
I couldn’t take the hurt away
I understand you couldn’t stay
You’ll stay alive in binded tomes
Another name carved into stone
The crimes that other people do
I hate how they affected you
I loved you ‘til we said goodbye
Until the light had left your eyes

Until the Light Left Your Eyes

Lyrics:

Dark clouds sink - a noticeable drop
Left on the brink - of hoping it stops
It's a lazy front - for a misery plot
But let's be blunt: I let myself rot
The only true shame is the pathetic waste
I'm the only trouble that I've ever faced
There's no harm or alarm from the world I'm inside
Just one way to let the reflection subside
What a fraud for the calls of eternal black
When at 15 I stalled and never went back
Not a voice for action but one of desire
An emotional wreck but one who's a liar
No Zoloft can cure what isn't there
Reaching for excuses but grasping at air
Despite the conclusion there is one solution
But cowardice begets its execution

Let all cries fairly be unheard
Tape my mouth shut without another word
An anchor merely bringing things down
Cut through the chain and leave me to drown
It's a hassle; nothing more
It's grown old; I'm a bore
When everything's fine, what's left that's wrong?
An unworthy soul who no longer belongs
After all this, nothing's hurt me but me
But each word is spoken like a tragedy
Promising change and delivering lies
The rain's always made to fall from these skies

There's nothing new left to be said
All of the turmoil is inside my head
Digging for fears already uncovered
There's nothing no one's yet to discover
Keep wishing, but failure's the final excuse
Keep talking, but time will end up abused
Laying down in the night, thinking about crying
Ashamed the next day I'm no closer to dying
What a shame, what a shame, it's all just a shame
But there never was anyone else to blame

What a Shame

Lyrics: 

When you’re being crushed by the world, do you take it?
When they ask if you’re okay, do you fake it?
Do you even know if you’re going to make it?
What about your life? Live it or forsake it
They treat you like a fool until you are one
They give you no quarter until your life’s done
You can’t find peace beneath a setting sun
But you can find peace behind a loaded gun
 
In the realm of the blind, no one gets to see
In the realm of the dead, everyone can be free
 
You walk with the weight on your back that you’re inferior
And dance with the moves that end up ulterior
You can’t handle weakness, so you cover it in fog
Your silence ends up with you in the backlog
So just nod your head and nothing more
With anxiety over what’s in store
Don’t cry when there’s no one around
Just take what you get and swallow it down
 
Respect is a word that holds no sway
What game did you consent to play?
There’s no difference, no remorse during the day
And it’s only at night when your mind goes astray
They feed you lies until that’s what you are
Just a black patch in a sky without stars
You walk for days, but you never get far
Smiling with a heart covered in scars
 
In the realm of the copies, no one gets to be
In the realm of the dead, everyone can be free
 
You walk with the weight on your back that you’re inferior
And dance with the moves that end up ulterior
You can’t handle weakness, so you cover it in fog
Your silence ends up with you in the backlog
So just nod your head and nothing more
With anxiety over what’s in store
Don’t cry when there’s no one around
Just take what you get and swallow it down

Swallow It Down

Lyrics:

Give me the shovel, I’m digging a hole
One that will end up swallowing me whole
I’m gonna break up, break down, stuck in my own way
Bury me and hide me from the oncoming doomsday
I’m stuck in a rut like a god damn bear trap
Relegated to life’s dustbins of scrap
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Let me wait for a miracle to fall from the sky
 
I’m stuck in a rut like a tiger pit
Just a puzzle piece without a fit
Don’t waste putting in your energy
When all you get is apathy
Just let me die here all alone
This emptiness becomes my home
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Let me give up before I even try
 
Give me the shovel, I’m digging a hole
One that will end up swallowing me whole
I’m gonna end up crushed beneath the earth
There is no hope of some sort of rebirth
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
Wallowing in the desires of agony
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
I know the what, but not the why
 
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Don’t waste putting in your energy
Don’t waste putting in your energy
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
I’m stuck in a rut where woe is me

Grote Mandrenke

Lyrics:

Trapped in a cycle, spun ‘round in a cyclone
Surrounded by millions, heart beating alone
Shackles spun of skin and intangible thought
Built perfectly from sin and left on Earth to rot
Being born’s an event out of one’s control
While mental illnesses will always take their toll
Taking one’s life may be God defaced
But to stay alive is the real disgrace

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

A weak heart and a weak mind go hand in hand
Tied so close together when nobody understands
The strongest words coated in love’s might
Will always falter in the dying light
And that’s the light of the sun we were born under
All we can do is lie back and wonder
When will we be free of the chains that bind us?
When will we forget the memories that remind us?

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

You look so strong, but I crumble beneath this weight
Falling to my knees, I can’t survive at this rate
But the tragedy that can’t be explained
The inability to die keeps me restrained
I’ve been begging, but I remain unfazed
No one to critique, no one to give praise
If you leave me to my own devices
I’ll never be able to pay the prices

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

Just be a man and fucking die

B.D.S.M. (Broken. Down. Save. Me.)

I just wanted to tell you a story
I didn’t need you to heal my wounds
Put my problems back in inventory
The bad fruit should always be pruned
Let me sit on the edge of a ledge
Without your hand on my shoulder
Stay alive, never took that pledge
All we ever get is older
Whispered sweet nothings are exactly that
They’re only meant to pluck the heartstrings
There’s no weapons in our close combat
Except the lies we sling
I only say I love you to ghosts
To live once is to live too long
I was almost there, keyword almost
I’m sorry I was never strong
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear
 
I don’t need sympathy; already got mine
It’s sad to speak and have no one hear
Existential crisis on the boss’s dime
In totality, the end’s always near
I crashed and burned a long time ago
You left me in the smoking wreckage
Maybe it was foreshadowed
Seen within the unchecked rage
But the cage I’m in I helped to build
Built with my insecurities
This is the house of the weakest willed
The pressure shucked out no impurities
I’m still a useless lump of coal
You toss from one hand to the other
It dirties the hands; just imagine the soul
Crush me underfoot and make me suffer
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear
 
The platitudes are sensible
What more can one person possibly do?
Inaction is so defensible
Just turn around and start anew
I’ve begged for hope for many years
Just a morsel, nothing more
But all I get in return’s a sneer
It’s not fun being destiny’s whore
Tied up, locked up, collared, compliant
Living in dilapidation
I never said that I was defiant
Death’s embrace is just flirtation
I want to dance with angels
To avoid the jeers and taunts
I want to dance with angels
But we can’t always get what we want
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear

Backslide

Carving names in stone, feeling all alone
While death comes to claim what it owns
The godliness of saints is gonna pass us by
The wind weathers the stones when we die
It’s better to be hated than to be ignored
But that’s not an emotion we can afford
Autobiographies erased with waves
Mortality’s the shackles of the slaves
Our tales of old will soon grow silent
Memories that remain violent
We write our histories in the sand
Brushed away by the future’s hand
We’re specks of dust on the Earth’s skin
In a game that we cannot win
Even the tragedies we will forget
Stuck in the same old mindset
 
Did you purchase your immortality
With the way you distort reality
The queen of hearts, she breaks for us
While we turn into rust
How will I be remembered
When my flame breaks off into embers
It’s a sad, cruel world that we live in
The end forgets where it begins
 
Paintings bleeding down a frame
We won’t survive what we became
Do the stars know who we are
Or is the distance way too far
We’re beaten down, broken, and sore
We don’t know who we are anymore
Trying to reach the pages of history
But nothing ever ends up free
 
Did you purchase your immortality
With the way you distort reality
The queen of hearts, she breaks for us
While we turn into rust
How will I be remembered
When my flame breaks off into embers
It’s a sad, cruel world that we live in
The end forgets where it begins

All We Ever Wanted Was an Answer

The Snake Releases Its Tail

Actually released on 11/8/16 (thanks Soundcloud x2).

Lyrics:
Here she comes like a lost vagabond, on the tides
Apathetically upon the ride, with no words to respond
Lips sealed shut, tight, sewn up right, self-inflicted wounds
Fifteen years, already doomed, god turns his back in spite
'Cause what the scared hands never can do is a debate
A poor pawn of mocking fate still fails to understand
But she wants to learn; it's her turn to find out where the light goes

Fall down upon your knees, seek forgiveness though you're flawed
If we all hold life in our hands, are we not all gods?

Do her eyes see past the black that engulfs the surface?
Silent, small, she systematically subsides when she's nervous
Can death be a state of mind that one might live in all the time?
If one does nothing with their time, can they be cut down in their prime?
A worthless life is no life, wasting away through destroyed thoughts
Each hesitation adds more seconds that keeps ticking all for naught
So when she kneels before me, lost and trying to save face
Praise me like the Father, for I am your saving grace

Coming down like a bad trip, falling onto shaking ground
Tethered to the dirt, earth bound, dancing on a sinking ship
Fissures opening up through veins, but all that spills cannot be seen
No façade is truly clean, no smile is ever truly sane
All those scared hands do is shake, echo final stated words
The line of truth and sin is blurred, how much longer until the walls break?
She doesn't want to tear them down: she wants to dive until she finally drowns

Rise up and bow your head, ask for redemption you've not earned
Wanting everything for nothing is all we as humans learned

Do her eyes see past the black that engulfs the surface?
Silent, small, she systematically subsides when she's nervous
Can death be a state of mind that one might live in all the time?
If one does nothing with their time, can they be cut down in their prime?
A worthless life is no life, wasting away through destroyed thoughts
Each hesitation adds more seconds that keeps ticking all for naught
So when she kneels before me, lost and trying to save face
Praise me like the Father, for I am your saving grace

Do her worries dissipate when her hands stop shaking?
When a balm is placed upon her to quell further aching
Is that state of mind a prophecy that's self-fulfilled?
If apathy and cowardice bow to one's force of will
But if she stands before me, then she's words and I am action
If she assumes the world is better off with her subtraction
Her eyes close to prepare, for this must lead to a better place
Slide the barrel between her lips, lose grip: I am saving Grace

Saving Grace

Lyrics:
Waking up, same day, same worthless existence
Watching memories fade away into the distance
Scores of tomes on shelves to chronicle the past
But only a few of the billions deemed worthy to last
We're born to live, to die, to be forgotten
With minds expired; degraded; rotten
How many people died that I don't know
Who’ll remember me when it's my time to go
They're just names and words with no real connection
Living in a world that’s a true infection
All good deeds forgotten; all bad deeds pardoned
No sympathy given from fate's heart when it's hardened
‘Cause its hands pluck life from your lungs indiscriminate
Some people fight longer, but everyone submits
Writing names in the annals as fast as we can
Fate will still cut down the immortal man

("Daniel... My name is... Daniel")

Running down reality; it slips away
Your limbic in total disarray
When your fists and your tongue decay
Until others' intentions are all you say
Darkened hallways, empty corridors
Walk until your feet move no more
When the cold clutch of Death gets hold of your core
You'll forget what you were before

The designs of existence, nothing but rejects
From the fate of chaotic architects
But we fight for it, and we suffer in turn
Until the end when there's nothing earned
And nothing learned, bitter pills to swallow
When life carves out your heart and leaves your soul hollow
What is your sanctum, and is it secure?
Why do you live? Why do you endure?
The suitors of shadows chase unrelenting
In our greatest moments we're still lamenting
Emptiness you’re chasing, relief you’re racing
The reality of it catching up is what you’re facing
Was the orb better broken into many pieces?
The pain just increases from the knowledge it releases
But the world’s too curious for its own good
So we can’t let go, but maybe we should

Running down reality; it slips away
Your limbic in total disarray
When your fists and your tongue decay
Until others' intentions are all you say
Darkened hallways, empty corridors
Walk until your feet won't move anymore
When the cold clutch of Death gets hold of your core
You'll forget what you were before

Beg for your life, but there’s nothing you can offer Death
While your skin turns to dust, you can’t predict your last breath
Unseen knives slash through veins like a slasher sequel
Try to live forever, but Death has never had an equal
Regret’s a word without meaning when there’s no conscience thought
Blood runs black; you can’t come to terms with what you’ve wrought
Maybe the truth is that ignorance is really bliss
And that the best thing is to not remember this

Running down reality; it slips away
Your limbic in total disarray
When your fists and your tongue decay
Until others' intentions are all you say
Darkened hallways, empty corridors
Walk until your feet won't move anymore
When the end is washed onto the shore
You won't be who you were before

The End of Forever

Amnesia (The Dark Descent)

Lyrics:

Fire consumes us all
Flames of passion, spite, or doubt
The ground breaks and we fall
We’ll never know what we’re about
All we do is guess intentions
Every truth could be a lie
Spoken words and interventions
Won’t save us when we die
And it burns away
Our life burns away
Our love burns away
Memories burn away

Our goals race us towards the end
We run from the finish line
Broken minds we’ll never mend
We always run out of time
Existence is just a speck
Dust floating among the stars
Try to save this Earthly wreck
We will never get too far
And it fades away
Our life fades away
Our hope fades away
Good deeds will fade away

This is what we’ve become
We can no longer evolve
Into shams we will succumb
Flaws that we absolve
If there’s some positivity
It’s that it ends eventually
But through decades of negativity
It’s just not fast enough for me
And we can lead us to the end
The ocean leads us to the end
The rope leads us to the end
The gun leads us to the end

And the fires consume us all
Flames of pain, regret, and death
When the world is burned away
Ashes will be all that’s left

For vi skal alle bli fordøyd av ild
Og spredt som aske
Må jeg gå i dødens skygge
Mens døden fortsetter å skygge meg
Vi er ufrelste og uverdige å frelse
Denne feilen vi kaller eksistens
Glemme de som kom før
Våre rester forbilr ukjente
Den eneste gud jeg ber til er døden
Må døden ta meg fra dette elendige stedet

Negative Zero

Popular tracks