Lyrics:

Dark clouds sink - a noticeable drop
Left on the brink - of hoping it stops
It's a lazy front - for a misery plot
But let's be blunt: I let myself rot
The only true shame is the pathetic waste
I'm the only trouble that I've ever faced
There's no harm or alarm from the world I'm inside
Just one way to let the reflection subside
What a fraud for the calls of eternal black
When at 15 I stalled and never went back
Not a voice for action but one of desire
An emotional wreck but one who's a liar
No Zoloft can cure what isn't there
Reaching for excuses but grasping at air
Despite the conclusion there is one solution
But cowardice begets its execution

Let all cries fairly be unheard
Tape my mouth shut without another word
An anchor merely bringing things down
Cut through the chain and leave me to drown
It's a hassle; nothing more
It's grown old; I'm a bore
When everything's fine, what's left that's wrong?
An unworthy soul who no longer belongs
After all this, nothing's hurt me but me
But each word is spoken like a tragedy
Promising change and delivering lies
The rain's always made to fall from these skies

There's nothing new left to be said
All of the turmoil is inside my head
Digging for fears already uncovered
There's nothing no one's yet to discover
Keep wishing, but failure's the final excuse
Keep talking, but time will end up abused
Laying down in the night, thinking about crying
Ashamed the next day I'm no closer to dying
What a shame, what a shame, it's all just a shame
But there never was anyone else to blame

Lycoris

What a Shame

Lyrics: 

When you’re being crushed by the world, do you take it?
When they ask if you’re okay, do you fake it?
Do you even know if you’re going to make it?
What about your life? Live it or forsake it
They treat you like a fool until you are one
They give you no quarter until your life’s done
You can’t find peace beneath a setting sun
But you can find peace behind a loaded gun
 
In the realm of the blind, no one gets to see
In the realm of the dead, everyone can be free
 
You walk with the weight on your back that you’re inferior
And dance with the moves that end up ulterior
You can’t handle weakness, so you cover it in fog
Your silence ends up with you in the backlog
So just nod your head and nothing more
With anxiety over what’s in store
Don’t cry when there’s no one around
Just take what you get and swallow it down
 
Respect is a word that holds no sway
What game did you consent to play?
There’s no difference, no remorse during the day
And it’s only at night when your mind goes astray
They feed you lies until that’s what you are
Just a black patch in a sky without stars
You walk for days, but you never get far
Smiling with a heart covered in scars
 
In the realm of the copies, no one gets to be
In the realm of the dead, everyone can be free
 
You walk with the weight on your back that you’re inferior
And dance with the moves that end up ulterior
You can’t handle weakness, so you cover it in fog
Your silence ends up with you in the backlog
So just nod your head and nothing more
With anxiety over what’s in store
Don’t cry when there’s no one around
Just take what you get and swallow it down

Swallow It Down

Lyrics:

Give me the shovel, I’m digging a hole
One that will end up swallowing me whole
I’m gonna break up, break down, stuck in my own way
Bury me and hide me from the oncoming doomsday
I’m stuck in a rut like a god damn bear trap
Relegated to life’s dustbins of scrap
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Let me wait for a miracle to fall from the sky
 
I’m stuck in a rut like a tiger pit
Just a puzzle piece without a fit
Don’t waste putting in your energy
When all you get is apathy
Just let me die here all alone
This emptiness becomes my home
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Let me give up before I even try
 
Give me the shovel, I’m digging a hole
One that will end up swallowing me whole
I’m gonna end up crushed beneath the earth
There is no hope of some sort of rebirth
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
Wallowing in the desires of agony
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
I know the what, but not the why
 
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Every day I say “I’m fine” is a lie
Don’t waste putting in your energy
Don’t waste putting in your energy
I’m stuck in a rut where I can’t break free
I’m stuck in a rut where woe is me

Grote Mandrenke

Pilot

Lyrics:

Trapped in a cycle, spun ‘round in a cyclone
Surrounded by millions, heart beating alone
Shackles spun of skin and intangible thought
Built perfectly from sin and left on Earth to rot
Being born’s an event out of one’s control
While mental illnesses will always take their toll
Taking one’s life may be God defaced
But to stay alive is the real disgrace

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

A weak heart and a weak mind go hand in hand
Tied so close together when nobody understands
The strongest words coated in love’s might
Will always falter in the dying light
And that’s the light of the sun we were born under
All we can do is lie back and wonder
When will we be free of the chains that bind us?
When will we forget the memories that remind us?

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

You look so strong, but I crumble beneath this weight
Falling to my knees, I can’t survive at this rate
But the tragedy that can’t be explained
The inability to die keeps me restrained
I’ve been begging, but I remain unfazed
No one to critique, no one to give praise
If you leave me to my own devices
I’ll never be able to pay the prices

Outcast among the outcasts
Struggles of misery can no longer last
Nothing could be sadder than wasted potential
Reincarnation restart is preferential
But there’s no proof of salvation or hope
Unless it’s in the fibers of the rope
The past is dead, and the future might as well be
I’m broken down, please pick up the gun and save me

Just be a man and fucking die

B.D.S.M. (Broken. Down. Save. Me.)

I just wanted to tell you a story
I didn’t need you to heal my wounds
Put my problems back in inventory
The bad fruit should always be pruned
Let me sit on the edge of a ledge
Without your hand on my shoulder
Stay alive, never took that pledge
All we ever get is older
Whispered sweet nothings are exactly that
They’re only meant to pluck the heartstrings
There’s no weapons in our close combat
Except the lies we sling
I only say I love you to ghosts
To live once is to live too long
I was almost there, keyword almost
I’m sorry I was never strong
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear
 
I don’t need sympathy; already got mine
It’s sad to speak and have no one hear
Existential crisis on the boss’s dime
In totality, the end’s always near
I crashed and burned a long time ago
You left me in the smoking wreckage
Maybe it was foreshadowed
Seen within the unchecked rage
But the cage I’m in I helped to build
Built with my insecurities
This is the house of the weakest willed
The pressure shucked out no impurities
I’m still a useless lump of coal
You toss from one hand to the other
It dirties the hands; just imagine the soul
Crush me underfoot and make me suffer
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear
 
The platitudes are sensible
What more can one person possibly do?
Inaction is so defensible
Just turn around and start anew
I’ve begged for hope for many years
Just a morsel, nothing more
But all I get in return’s a sneer
It’s not fun being destiny’s whore
Tied up, locked up, collared, compliant
Living in dilapidation
I never said that I was defiant
Death’s embrace is just flirtation
I want to dance with angels
To avoid the jeers and taunts
I want to dance with angels
But we can’t always get what we want
 
Put your hand on my heart and you’ll feel no beat
Just another lost soul drowned in defeat
There’s always a trick, it’s the magician’s code
Born rich, die rich, can’t access that mode
So I rely on the strengths I never had
Being alive, humanity’s worst fad
I’ve already cried, so don’t dry my tears
I’m gonna backslide, that’s why I’m my worst fear

Backslide

Carving names in stone, feeling all alone
While death comes to claim what it owns
The godliness of saints is gonna pass us by
The wind weathers the stones when we die
It’s better to be hated than to be ignored
But that’s not an emotion we can afford
Autobiographies erased with waves
Mortality’s the shackles of the slaves
Our tales of old will soon grow silent
Memories that remain violent
We write our histories in the sand
Brushed away by the future’s hand
We’re specks of dust on the Earth’s skin
In a game that we cannot win
Even the tragedies we will forget
Stuck in the same old mindset
 
Did you purchase your immortality
With the way you distort reality
The queen of hearts, she breaks for us
While we turn into rust
How will I be remembered
When my flame breaks off into embers
It’s a sad, cruel world that we live in
The end forgets where it begins
 
Paintings bleeding down a frame
We won’t survive what we became
Do the stars know who we are
Or is the distance way too far
We’re beaten down, broken, and sore
We don’t know who we are anymore
Trying to reach the pages of history
But nothing ever ends up free
 
Did you purchase your immortality
With the way you distort reality
The queen of hearts, she breaks for us
While we turn into rust
How will I be remembered
When my flame breaks off into embers
It’s a sad, cruel world that we live in
The end forgets where it begins

Backslide

Negative Zero

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