Curtain Call Reordered

Man Ray:
It’s Man Ray, best villain in the business
Keep raps great for the thrill of a quick diss
Can’t catch a mouse, ooh, that’s really tellin’
Threats are ‘bout as empty as under my helmet 

Well then, my victory’s non-negotiable
Keep the flow ready like a Gyarados or Wartortle
On blast against, weapons or Pokemon, the same game 
Leave James like Wobbuffet, can only say his name

Take my Ray Gun and blast through you
Mermaid Man’s retired so, I choose you!
Blasting off again! It’s the same with you misfits
Make like a Game Freak employee, and quit this

Team Rocket:
Prepare for trouble.. Make it double..
Cuz we’re gonna pop off like The Dirty Bubble!
All you E.V.I.L members are so utterly lame
We could catch you, but Boss would tell us “try again!”

Meowth, that’s right! You’re not even worth the fight!
But we’ll use you as practice to make catches multiply!
It’s too easy, aren’t there any better?
You’re right, to beat you all we’d need is a feather!

You’re not a villain! You’re merely an annoyance 
A sponge has a better chance to destroy us!
You’re little group E.V.I.L? That’s ours to take!
You’re such a goody two shoes you can’t even rob a bank!

Man Ray:
Like in all your other fights, you’ve missed
Try throwing better blows, that’s Red Mist
All your outfits are a sight for sore eyes
Instead of delivering lines, try a different disguise 

I’ll beat you cuz I don’t like Team Rocket
I stomp on foes like a box full of wallets 
Stop it, you better quit wasting my time
Or prepare yourself to die, cuz the victory is mine!

Team Rocket:
We always get back up after blasting off!
You can’t get back up after tartar sauce!
You can’t be a villain! You’re weaker than Wobbuffet!
(Wobbuffet!) Hey, that’s a compliment!

Stop fighting you two! Yeah, stick to the plan!
Cause we’ll finally win after this attack!
We’ll admit you did well, but you’re still not a winner
Your verses were like Bulbasaur - perfect for beginners!

CAST:
TheMonarchy as Man Ray

Vanes as Jesse
Clarence the Duck as James
MetaStarVA as Meowth

TheToppo as Babytron

CREW:
Written by Elizalkin
Prod. George Johnson
Mixed by Kaewoo
Special Thanks to Powerofdan, M&Mattie, and JustGamer

Man Ray vs. Team Rocket - Rap Battle!

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Full video coming later this year (Hopefully September).

Kurobane Azia as Cirno
Snakebite126 as Papyrus
Writing by AshleyMagica
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing by Jort
Temporary cover art by TheToppo

Cirno:
Cower before my might, ‘cause I am the brightest!
Like a yokai-shaped lamp - I could fool you without hiding
I’m magical, adaptable, you know I’m a natural
Try and capture the ice fairy? You’d only catch a cold

Now students, here’s a math problem:
Five royal guards face off with me - the strongest 
Subtract all the ones that got slaughtered
‘Cause Papyrus was their only option
Aren’t you supposed to get buried when it’s dogs and bones, kid?
Anyway, who’s left to defend from the one whose heart’s so frozen?
The answer is zero! There are no royal guards in Snowdin!

And you haven’t gone yet, but I predict that your lines are written in Papyrus script 
You should try a different font, ‘cause to me, that’s like Egyptian hieroglyphs
I got more fans, ‘cause I’m cooler! They wrote you hate mail, now I’m sending it
Let me spell it out for you: those are the only letters you’ll ever get

Papyrus:
THIS IS GENSOKYO’S STRONGEST? MY, YOU SURE FELL FAR
YOU’RE SO ILLITERATE, YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN SPELL CARDS
AND WHEN THIS JUNIOR’S JUMBLED, YOU SOB LIKE, “WAHHH! IT AIN’T FAIR!”
THEY NAMED A DAY AFTER YOU? THEY SHOULD’VE NAMED A DAYCARE

YOU’RE A PAWN FOR ZUN’S GREED! YOU DARE CALL ME THE MONSTER?!
HE MILKS YOUR NAME SO MUCH, YOU SOLD OUT TO DAIRY SPONSORS
CHIRUMIRU HAS NO SAUCE, SO I’LL GO BACK TO MY PASTA
AND FURTHERMORE… SKELETONS CAN’T CATCH COLDS, YOU BAKA!

Cirno:
HEY, BACK OFF! I’m not six nor am I sixteen! I’m sixty!
I’m not your type, you sick creep! I know with children, you like getting Frisky
And despite living in snow, you reek of flop sweat
Carry my fairy status with pride, while you’re a skeleton in the closet 

Maybe try Chirumiru - it strengthens your gains
It’s good for your bones, and it’s the best thing you ever did taste
Besides that kid’s blade that got you sent to your grave
You’ll never change that human’s genocidal ways by giving them a friendly embrace
Couldn’t keep your head in the game
So you got reduced to a head in your game

Papyrus:
WHY, YES! YOU’RE AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO GENOCIDAL TOLLS
THE POINT I’M MAKING IS: YOU SHATTER POOR ANIMALS INTO ICICLES
AS A ROYAL GUARD, IT’S MY DUTY TO WARN THE FROGGITS!
PAINT ME AS THE VILLAIN? I BET YOU’RE JEALOUS OF THEM ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT LEAP IN LOGIC

I SEE YOUR VILLAGE HAS COME TO REPORT A PROBLEM
THEY SAY YOU’VE ACCRUED A FORM MORE MONSTROUS…
WAIT! DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT CLAIM BECAUSE THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRAWN WITH DARK SKIN?!
THAT’S YOUR CUE TO LEAVE, 9-BALL - YOU’RE OUT OF POCKET

DID YOU SEEK ME JUST BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT POTENTIAL RECRUITS OUT?
YOU THINK 9 COMES AFTER 2 - I HARDLY THINK YOU’D COUNT
JUST A LAUGHINGSTOCK WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF KEINE’S SCHOOLHOUSE
THAT’S GENSOKYO’S SPECIAL ATTACK! YOU ARE BLUE NOW!

Cirno vs Papyrus - AM Rap Battles

Isn't Twitch great?!

STARRING:
RaccoonBroVA as Ninja
Evava as Pokimane

Written by:
ForgottenSon

Mixing and Mastering:
Box

Beat by: 
Dave James of Audio Network

Thumbnail by:
Elizalkin

Ninja:
Uh, Jess? we got a troll spewing ignorance in chat.
Never mind, it's just Poki, but there's no difference in that.
I'm topping you in streaming, besting me? You must be dreaming
It's no mystery, looking at history, let's take it back.
I was taking some names with any fps I was choosing 
While you stayed with the same vids like “I'm not seeing enough movement” 
Now I'm making moves, there’s no way I won’t prevail
I see why you’re called Poki, You’re a simp’s Horny Jail.
Oh wait, you call it Pokémon? That naming is kinda vapid.
But, I won't doubt the Impact it is leaving upon the masses
So, Pokimane, I gotta ask it amidst this whole battle
How is it I got more subs than you when you own 5 channels?
Built my foundation in Fortnite, Leave you Tilted like the Towers 
I would talk on who you are but, we'd be here for 9 hours
I must say it’s very apt your gang’s name described your friendships
So, I guess it’s no wonder you left Offline disconnected 

Pokimane:
Well, your name's half-right, you deceived me with your violence,
But, For a guy called Ninja, you really can't be silent.
A rep for being a sore loser, how can you say you're the best when
You screaming into mics? Call you Tyler1 Blevins!
The name's Imane! Live streaming and Rhyme scheming and I've beaten 
Many guys believing their lines are sweeter than Ice Cream and 
It’s a sight seeing in my sequence, your eyes leaking. 
Not the first time seeing you cry streaming
Now once upon a time, you led Twitch into its better days
‘til you sold out to Mixer; proves that you're a fucking Renegade.
You blew that like your hair [yeah] and now your time has passed [what]
So try and break New Grounds with your Boyfriend looking ass!! [Ayyy!]
Talk on content? From what I can deduce
I wanna say you’re see-through; they'd rather watch Tfue.
How can you beat me, dude, If you'll just harm yourself? 
I'm sure you'll get a kick outta this like when you bashed the NFL.

Ninja:
Hmph…You talk a lot of shit, no wonder your surname's Anus (Anys)
This ain’t a collab stream, I'm not someone you should play with
Given how you dealt with drama every time you get hurt
I'm surprised you didn't copyright strike me mid verse [Ha ha!]
Heard better from Marshmello, if that’s the best the you can send
Then you can call me Keemstar; they're a 2 out of 10! [Damn!]
I'm always dropping out the battle bus to beat my foes with certainty. 
The only place you can drop out of is University.

Pokimane:
Dropping out? That's the pot calling the kettle black.
I'd tell you to Rewind, but we know you bomb at that. [True!]
Keep up the attitude and soon enough you’ll be finding
your whole career getting shot down - Stream Sniping!
After hearing all your verses, the one thing I have discovered
both in rapping and in Fortnite, you can't make a decent structure.
Sad you failed to fire shots, So I suggest now you shut it
Cuz, you only play Epic Games when you're being their puppet



Next time:
LET’S GO GAMBLING!!!!
(Ft.ThatAdorableFox and Kurobane Azia)


Ninja vs Pokimane -  Rap Battles of the Forgotten!

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

TaigaTonic as Polybius
Dilly Scott as Porygon
Beat produced by MIDES
Written by Trakked, Dilly Scott and 3ple
Additional help by Shimario and Jpegdogs
Mixed by Jordy
Art by TomPuffs
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

Polybius: (0:21)
Before you start to fight me, I would advise
Don't look directly in the screen because I'll blind you with lights (uh)
I use strings of code bigger than you when I load
If you Convert into my cyberspace, your mind will be fried
Drop a quarter in, see the phenomenon they're talking 'bout
An innovative game that makes the bank and draws the crowds
You couldn't block me out, even if you tried 
Want to go back in your Pokeball? That's not an option now. 
I'd talk about your looks, with your cubic features
But you'd fit right in with your new releases
You don’t have purpose and you shoot your beams cuz
You're only flashy when you're inducing seizures
The players catch Zs when you're on the screen
Cuz this automaton has been obsolete 
You once had a use… but that's not the case now
You can't go in orbit… but I'll leave you spaced out.

Porygon: (1:04)
I ain’t sparing no change to a made up coin op-eration
To conclude your story a hoax I just go travel through data 
You think you're shady, man? Game consists of random shapes and crazy graphs
Dragged you out the room ‘cause arcades knew you wouldn’t make ‘em crap
Causing fatalities like it's MK Ultra..
But on the PlayStation store they tell me nobody played ONCE
Some people were dedicated to find ya
Then fans of your story went from datamining to seeing dated writing
Your legend makes my head spin
And the men in black suits must’ve deleted your senses
They paid off the feds since, and your casualties were written off as accidents
So now I’m damaging this cabinet
Gone without a Trace, you’re a fad of the past
Went up in smoke like you left for ‘em like Ash’s dad
You’re so forgettable to the people that played ya
So if you wiped their memories, it wouldn’t really change much

Polybius: (1:47)
You're low-res: a dream of fame for you is hopeless
Everything you spat sounded Pory-phoned in
You're made to break and I am losing patience.
If you see your win, it's a hallucination.

Porygon: (1:57)
So many Secrets and Lies that all the agents devised 
To keep you inside the minds of all the players
You’re beaming lights in their eyes and it leads to their demise
You try to see into mine, I’ll make your brain hurt
I cannot be copy/pasted, yet you're copping my flow
I've seen more addictive gameplay from Pokemon GO
Try to send me your subliminal messages, I’ll escape em
This battle is over because Polybius fainted

Polybius:
Pika hit some missiles with electric flow
Then they had to seize your episode because of seizure episodes
The anime banned you, but it wasn't your fault
Now I'm not the only one that's getting locked in a vault.


Porygon vs Polybius - Rap Cypher #42

Titanium1208 as Harvey Birdman
Chaotic Rap Battles as Captain Falcon
Beat produced by marvin's creation and GlitchDude
Written by Trakked
Mixed by Jordy
Art by TreToonz
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:

Harvey Birdman:
It's.. Harvey Birdman, and I'll enter this race
A bounty hunter from space? I think I WON'T take the case!
I'm powered by the sun, you think your flames could hurt me?
Then prepare to feel the power of attorney! 
They call it F Zero 'cuz they give Zero F's
Like Nintendo, I'm forgetting any fame you had left
There's no defending you, or need to find a witness
Cuz the only writing you do is copyright infringement!
You're the type of guy to go to a victim and tell them to stop resisting
Then beat 'em up and lock 'em in prison,
So no, the law is not above these crooked cops in our system
If you think you're seeing freedom, I'm guessing that visor's blocking your vision
Your series manages to go in all the wrong directions
There is no question on whether you got the diss that I sent ya
Better call up your colleagues, you're gonna need Avenging
You're far behind, so use your time and try to catch up

Captain Falcon:
There are two types of rappers on this beat:
The ones who fail at every turn and crash and burn, and me
I suggest you retreat; everybody knows I’m packing a punch
I’ll get Birdgirl and take her to FALCON LUNCH!! 
(Haha!) You’re better off throwing this match
‘Cuz I’m the only one between us who has ever rode a track
I’m getting first place in every race, I can’t lose
While you’re ending up getting your crest taken from you (YES!)
With the way you’re treating Peanut, you must be allergic
With every case you make, you turn the courtroom to a circus
I come back from explosions, bitch, you know you couldn’t hurt this
You couldn’t host with Space Ghost, even he knows that you’re worthless
I’d say show me your moves, but we both know that you would crack under the pressure
I’m able to kick ass because I’m simply better
You’re a shitty lawyer, and the evidence is damning
So shoot your rays at me, I think that I could use some tanning (Ha!)

Harvey Birdman:
Say, Captain, 
How do you explain the dangers that they keep the other racers trapped in?
A violation of safety is what your track is
You participate in races that most often end in deadly crashes!
This case is closed; now, remember for the future;
You’re not exactly setting the best example for viewers
You’ve been found guilty of being a massive failure
Tried to fly from justice, now this Falcon is a jailbird

Captain Falcon:
(C'mon!) You can't take jabs at me, I know your life is broken
This.. case may be closed, but your.. marriage is open
From your wife to your boss, you don’t really have that much more to lose
I have another Blue Falcon that they love more than you!
Fast to make accusations, but we both know I'm quicker
The only bar exam you've taken's when you drown yourself in liquor 
I'll hit you like another bus; break all your vertebrae 
That’s just what Harvey gets for messing with a bird of prey



Captain Falcon vs Harvey Birdman - Rap Cypher #44

Eric the Audible as Waldo
Gridline Rap Battles as Agent 47
Beat produced by MIDES
Written by Trakked and Worms
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Rytchiee and SkydivingQuagga
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

Waldo: (0:10)
Hey, I'm glad you found me, but now you're ‘bout to regret it
I’m bout to set a new record, wrap your mission up in seconds
So get ready for a lesson, I ain’t favoring crooks
But if you wanna learn to hide, then take a page from my book
Wearin’ them red and white stripes cuz I'm the flyest dude
I got this on and I don’t even need a tie and suit
That dome is shining, they can see through your disguises, too
IOI needs to head back into the writer’s room (yuh)
You’re tryna get your Wood to Burn
But your handler’s abandoned you at every single turn
Yeah, me and Diana, man, we're sharing a bed
Cuz the amount of game you got is like the hairs on your head
(Oh) Five fathers, but no love, you’re from a test tube
Man, you were built for everybody to forget you
I might go back in hiding when it's time for your rapping
So make like your title and stay Silent, Assassin
 
Agent 47: (0:57)
Don't be alarmed. I'm here to finish business.
I'd appreciate it if you would quit your resistance. 
Sit and listen; I’ve got lines for this eyesore,
With rhymes so divine that you’ll find they’re to die for.
So why don't I pour you a drink?
Your confusion’s understood; this happens more than you think.
Let’s have a toast. Let the moment be adorned with a clink
You'll fall down on the ground. It happens more than you think.
It’s circumstantial how I dress, you keep your outfit on forever.
Needless to say, your clothes don’t depend on the weather.
I wouldn’t be against painting more red on your sweater,
And you will never forget that I’m wearing both your colors better.

Waldo: (1:22)
Don't dog my fit; I'll take your job real quick with my famed garb
I don’t need a costume to stay under the radar
You think your sins are forgiven because you pray hard?
Your next mission should be living behind jail bars
Put down the fiber wire, we both know that you choked
So put on that clown costume ‘cuz all I see is a joke (damn!)
It seems Tobias couldn't Riep what he sowed
Hold your ducky tight and make like Grey’s head and explode

Agent 47: (1:43)
Your files are the only book with your name that I've opened. 
Your brother hates you and you don’t know how to cope with it.
You're hopeless and moping and your relationships are broken
But I'll be sure to give your girlfriends my condolences.
We both travel the globe, but I make a visible difference. 
If you visited my home you would be dealt with in minutes.
There wouldn't be a single witness since my target’s alone with me.
I have yet to break my cover since this nobody’s noticed me.
I toppled Providence and it appeared to be happenstance
I'll be bashing your glasses and make it look like an accident
So be glad that this happened; send your goodbyes in a letter
Because I just found a way to make you disappear forever.


Waldo vs Agent 47 - Rap Cypher #47

Lew Kreerdun as Burger King
M!CAH as Donkey Kong
Beat produced by Boshgie
Written by Trakked
Additional help from QuickDissa
Mixed by Jordy
Video edited by JustGamer

Battle:

Burger King:
There's no animals allowed in this place
Better not run your mouth or you'll be ground into paste
Bananas are ass my boy, you got poor taste
You want a flame grilled whoopin'? Have it your way
Bitch. I'll take your girl Candy and hurt her
Mix her up into a sludge like our Impossible Burgers
And you want some fries with that for an additional fee?
Shit, I'd burn you and your jungle up and do it for free
So grab your bongos and try to keep up 
You ain't a Kong, bro, you got a weak punch
Suck on deez nuts; this freak takes last
Grill this bitch with chicken; that's a DK Wrap
Your plots are thin like a BK wrapper 
You're only good for some pre-k laughter
You got a tie but got nothing on underneath
Brother doesn't need to cover cuz there's nothing to see

Donkey Kong:
It’s DK ‘gainst a fraud sole heir
Think you’re big shit but Kong don’t care
With flows so clean, got no need to expand, bruh
Rang up Dairy Queen and she tallied me banana
I'll get my boxing gloves and rock this schmuck
And you know that it's all because you're offering that awful lunch
You’re not an option for me when I’m feeling hungry
So make like the Kremlins, get the FUCK out of my Country
Can’t catch up to me; I’m too groovy
Put you in a barrel.. and make a dude smoothie!
I’ll Jungle Beat a fucker if he thinks that he’ll be hittin’ me
They call me a Donkey ‘cause I’m carrying this industry
This fraud is thinkin’.. women belong in the kitchen
Me and Diddy had your shit, that cook belongs in a prison
We went Kong on the building, put your wallet through some deep pain
You're a dick, King, and I served you like DK

Burger King:
…what? What the hell does that even mean?

(*two seconds of silence*)

Donkey Kong:
Mmmm. Banana.



Donkey Kong vs Burger King - Rap Cypher? #49

Trakked as Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv
Lexi M as Smile Dog
Beat produced by Mezulari, bachotag
Written by Trakked, Jpegdogs and M&Mattie
Additional help from Syphonstick
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Syroquise
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

Mereana (0:23):
I. See. You. 
Across from my screen.
You are a lost cause. 
I am not what I seem.
I am Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv. 
If you attempt to drag me to Hell, you will get scorched.
You are a parasite that’s looking for the next poor
Person to enter your message and get you to export.
Spread the word? No, I don’t intend to.
Let it be clear that my intention is to end you.
Despite your better efforts, you have failed to frighten me.
I believe this pet should be kept on a tighter leash.
Lend your eyes to me, so I may see.
No, I will not take lies from a jpg. 
Down, dog. It is time for you to rest. 
When I am finished, there will be nothing left. 

Smile Dog (1:09):
Incoming message, check it and pay attention
Copyright or not, this battle ends with your suspension
I heard the word was spreadin’ and was sent to this pathetic
Mess whose scare method is staring for around 20 seconds (agh)
I’m in your head; better believe that I get deep
I’m in RGB screens and your REM sleep
Shallow eyes; witness as I take a bite
But instead of a chunk, I’ll be taking over your mind
All bark, all bite, and inside your computer
It's.. Benjamin Bennett vs Canine Freddy Krueger
Keep staring, pussy, I’ll be having you scream soon
You can close your eyes but you’ll see me in your dreams, too…


Mereana (1:44):
You made a mistake. Keep your words to yourself.
Or else.. I’ll light a flame and see you burning in Hell.
You are below me. You will end soon.
You want to be remembered, but they’ll forget you.
You try to break my mind, but I am far beyond your comprehension,
For I could split your hoax apart in seconds.
Yes, you try to beckon me, but no pleading can stop me.
Youtube Headquarters will find your severed, bleeding body.

Smile Dog (2:07):
There is nothing that can save you.
Meet your fucking MovieMaker, you faker, I will break you.
I’ll delete this freak directly off the web with ease
You can’t pray for mercy as I DRAG YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH ME
(*beat change*) (2:19)
Smile Dog (Demonic):
DOG IS YOUR GOD NOW; THERE IS NO ESCAPE
OFFING THIS FRAUD; LEAVE HIM STABBED ON A STAKE
YOU’RE CONTORTING YOUR FACE AND YOU LOOK LIKE A LUNATIC
MR KUBRICK STARE WILL END WITH HIS COMPUTER BRICKED
OH BYRON, YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED SILENT
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL BUT YOU CHOSE TO DIE INSTEAD
NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON THAT KNEW YOU IS CRYING
NOR THOSE AT YOUTUBE HQ WHEN THEY FIND YOUR HEAD


Smile Dog vs Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv - Rap Cypher #50


GamingPlush64 as Mr. Bear
Snakebite126 as Sammy Lawrence
Beat produced by DumbChild
Written by Trakked
Additional help from Shimario
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Syphonstick and TomPuffs
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

Mr. Bear:
Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. My name's Mr. Bear.
You're on the air, so there's no need to be scared
I can see you need some release from that awful machine
So go and call the number on the bottom of the screen
Or you could write a letter… I think that'd be better.
Follow the address and leave it right inside my cellar.
I bet you don't remember the last time you've had a friend
So when this comes to an end, you can stay with me forever.

Sammy Lawrence: as
Shhh… rest your head, little sheep
For the time has arrived for your teacher to speak
You fell off the air ‘cause you fell in too deep
Whether alive or dead, soon you shall be asleep
You're tasteless, like Soup and Spoon with no bacon
And your heart is as dark as your basement
So face it. Praise be, and we shall receive
His blessings, my friend, it is time to believe…

Mr. Bear:
You want to be a foe cuz you don't know love
I'll crush this motherfucker up with 100 fuzzy hugs
While you count your sheep, I see to it that you have sweet dreams
Stab you with a pen because I wanna watch the ink bleed…
This composer lost his composure, he's aimless
Used to be an icon for entertainment 
Now you're so one-note no matter how you frame it,
So I'll cut you up with scissors cuz I'm feeling pretty dangerous
I've talked with the fallen angel.
False prophets shall not assault the faithful
And you crawl your way through all confrontation that faces you
You're just another pawn to break through so
I think it's time to silence this. I'll have you crying inside of my fire pit
I'll light it, now you're dying like a bitch
You were reliant on a glimpse of light, just like the kids
‘Til the demon showed you violence cuz you were riding on his dick

Sammy Lawrence:
You can’t kill what is sanctified
Your sins have piled up in your painful life
No praying can save you from my savior’s bite
You want to Paint With Your Soul but you're wasting my time
You're wasted potential. 
You could have been great, but Satan even thinks you've gone soft
Face the music, great retribution
Shall fall upon the follower of a false god
You had luck with your public broadcast 
‘Til the viewers learned the true nature of this fraud fast
You conned the kids to visit, giving them your contact
So I'll rid you from this prison at long last
You've had your fun, but now it's time to stay in silence
I'd take you to a greater plane, but you weren't invited
Not a single soul will enter your place again
Now.. Can I get an amen?


Mr. Bear vs Sammy Lawrence - Rap Cypher #53

Cole as The Batter
Swizkii as Brad Armstrong
Beat produced by Theskybeats
Written by Trakked, Cole and Buckethead
Additional help from Buckethead
Mixed by Jordy
Art by CyanCoat
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

The Batter (0:30):
My introduction needs no more clarification.
This track is in need of immediate purification.
You’re akin to the spectres I’ve vanquished, so learn your place and
Succumb to my holy fire and die in your isolation
Your soul has been corrupted, I've been sent to purify ya
So keep your freaks away, ‘cause I prefer to work in silence 
You cannot let go of your trauma, so here’s your reminder
Lisa is buried and serves her purpose as fertilizer.
Taste my holy wrath, and soon you shall be burning. 
You were right when you wanted a wife but said you don't deserve it.
The women went out in a flash, the same with your dreams of third base.
Can’t escape from your purpose when you don’t have one in the first place.
I change the world for the better, you’ve no excuse
I break the chains of vacants, you can’t break the cycle of abuse
When taking the blame for your friends, Columbo beat you to no end
‘Cause you went and dropped the ball and your baby atop her head.
Raised your daughter with your friends, then it ended up bloody
I'm hitting home runs, you couldn't make a home for Buddy
I shall be your instructor with something you should be taught at last:
The bottom of the bottle will not bring your daughter back.

Brad Armstrong (1:30):
You can't understand the pain that I’ve felt.
Your family dies, the only one to blame is yourself
I didn't want to see other people go through abuse
So I taught children to protect themselves against the men like you.
My mission's to protect Buddy at any cost,
Your mission's to kill your son ‘cause your love for him is lost.
Now you have nothing left to give.
You've been dead since the beginning; this is the day that I live.
Through your actions, the good in your life was thrown away. 
You don't take care of your baby, you don't know his name. 
I sheltered Buddy, yes, but at least she and I were safe
Because of you, Hugo never saw the light of day.
Created to be a father, but you ended up as worthless
You showed it in your verse, dragging on as long as Nern does
Your threats are empty, like the zones you're leaving stuck behind.
So come at me, you bitch, I'd like to see you fucking try.

The Batter (2:18):
Pop some Joy, you worthless junkie, maybe find the balls to fight me 
Or you could keep on whining and make like The Judge and bite me
This balding man is nothing; the guardians were no match for me
You’d only be sweet when turned to sugar in the factory
You have a tough shell, but on the inside you're pathetic. 
All you wanted was a hug from Buddy, but you couldn't get it. 
She hates you, Brad. That is why she purged your life. 
I'll turn this battle OFF. Adversary purified.

Brad Armstrong (2:42):
You took everything for granted, you emotionless freak
Never questioning your actions only shows that you're weak 
You needed Add-Ons to beat the ghosts and erase 'em
While I don't need a bat or even arms to bash your face in
They see you as a monster as you walk throughout the zones.
No matter what you try to do, you'll always be alone.
Destroyed your life in every step. Heh, welcome to the party, bud.
You managed to be an even worse father than Marty was.


The Batter vs Brad Armstrong - Rap Cypher #55

LunaticmoonVA as Vaggie
Mochii as Undyne
Written by: Ego
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

UNDYNE!!!!

VS!!!!

VAGGIE!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Undyne]
Fuhuhuhuhu
En garde, Undyne attacks, flee, demon
(Ngahhh) Royal guard, we go high like when she’s singing
(Ngahhh) You take more orders than Grillby’s, you’re adams bitch
Hid the genocides from Charlie now shes got you playing pacifist
Listen, brat, you won’t humiliate me
I’m the only underground rapper in the main stream
Understand, Vagatha, you’ll be history like manga
When I leave you like your past, filled with extermination

[Vaggie]
I’m sorry, what the fuck was all that?
Step in hell, and you’ll collapse in seconds, like the hotlands
You’re the leader of the royal guard? Fuck that shit
I've seen better heroine in Angel’s drug stashes
Hate to tell you, but life ain’t anime, Un
You’re not an Alphys, this fish is a betta
Your fans harassing lets players, is what's getting them off?
I'll do what Markiplier couldn't and finish you off

[Undyne the Undying]
The wind howls, as the waterfall flows
The tragic tale of our people, started long long ago
No, why don’t I spare you with the details of our kind
When I could spear you and put X’s on both your eyes cuz YOU’RE GONNA DIE
I’m Undyne the undying, run for your life
Out for LV but you get none, CUT like a lime
You’re a friendless, self loathing, punk, I despise
Like a trust fall, you let down everyone in your life
I’m the crime fighter, putting Charlie's Angel in her place
Here's a jape, I’ll play a game of tic tac toe on your face!
LETS FINISH THIS, no one can deter my determination 
Even Papyrus’s pasta ain’t as tasteless as your name is

[Vaggie]
You got that out? You’re pathetic, you know that?
They call it under tail cuz you can’t get your head out your own ass
You melted away like your house cooking, when you tried stopping Frisk
I saved a kid from monsters, you could barely save a Monster Kid
I’d rather do battle with Shyren, at least her lyrics hit hard
This fish tanked, and you wanna put me in a box?
This angel turned you into dust, like the human did
Kept an eye out for Papyrus, now both of you are pupil-less

Vaggie vs Undyne (Hazbin Hotel vs Undertale) - Ego Rap Battles

Forty Years

Art in the banner by Grenade, Banner made by SPM
Owned by Trakked
Discord: @trakked

Smile Dog vs Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv - Rap Cypher #50

Rap Cypher

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