Name: The Grifter vs Sad Satan - Rap Cypher #36.66 by Rap Cypher
Duration: 3 min

FRIDAY NIGHT FUNKIN'!!!!
Fightmarker as Boyfriend
Rosenthal as Kung Fu Man
Beat produced by Tantu
Writers: Trakked, AlchemyKing
Additional help by: NeonTheProtogen, Kamren 
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Kung Fu Man:
This ain’t a fight you’re winning, take a step and you’re in danger
Sounding like a car and children think that it’s a banger?
Controlled by the keyboard, but you’ve never been a player
MUGEN’s riding tracks, I stole your girl; I demon slayed her

Boyfriend:
I’m going old school, no need for arrow keys
Hedgehog hair really wants to fare with me? 
Nah, you’re not a problem to me, brother
Think I sound like a car? BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
I’ve been a rockstar in every round that I spit
While you’ve flopped hard since 2006
And I’m on charts, you better be on guard
You know I got bars while you’re sounding pretty shit
You wish you could steal my girl, bitch
You can't even talk cuz you lost yours to Suave Dude
While mine's on the sidelines and vibing to my lines and writing
Not fighting, but I think she blocked you (OHHH)
I’m the mainstay character in every mod and story
You’re deleted from the roster first cuz they think that you’re boring
At least I got a family, if you wanna battle me,
Why don’t you go into Notepad and code a personality?

Kung Fu Man:
All that battle rapping with Daddy Dearest ain’t doing nothing
Step in my dojo, I’ll show you discipline, boot your skull in
I've got a move to show you when you go and push my buttons 
No hadokens needed, I'll still be having you looking rough, kid
You're with GF, but why should you bother?
Since the only person that you're wanted by is her father
The Palm is not for novices, go and train for a decade
And maybe if you dropped a diss, you'd be able to get laid
White boy stare with that light blue hair
If I looked in McDonalds, I would find you there
Got some mascot status, but soon you'll be phased out
Ruining your site by turning Newgrounds to Playgrounds
I'm skilled as a fighter, so I sure can be offensive
I fend against my demons while they’re giving you erections
You're a Phantom in my Arcade, step up and you get beat
You'll have less chances of releasing than your next week

Boyfriend:
It looks like Elecbyte forgot about you, bro
When your classic mode is only you fighting two clones
Peace out, bitch, you were slow to defend
So go cry in the corner of your dojo again

Boyfriend vs Kung Fu Man - Rap Cypher #33

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music video out now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8KqfAiyBZg

casey william as opila bird
dilly as atari e.t.

written by dilly, casey william, 3ple
additional writing by m!cah
mixed by casey william
beat prod. by casey william
art by 3ple and anangrypenguin
cover art by shimario
series logo by timelord

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
https://www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Opila Bird vs. Atari E.T. - Rap Battle! (2023)

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!


Snakebite126 As Papyrus 


RaccoonBroVA As Boom Boom


WAN As Kamek


Art by WAN


Mixed by Jort


Chiselled by Raisu Battle


Written by King Ducky


Research assistance from King Wallace & We Think company


Beat prod. Anywaywell & Glitchdude


Papyrus:

I'm known as the great Papyrus, not afraid to get straight to violence !!! 

Skeletons don't have brains inside us, yet you're the one who's insane and mindless !!!

Those limbs won't stay, they'll fly off! The way that you’re swaying exciting your arms when you charge,

Dizzily maiming and fighting with walls, makes sense that he's not invited to Mario Kart !!!


You're a disgrace of a brute, you grab your tongue have it taped to my shoe

This headache should be used to the taste of a boot! (Nyhehehehehee!)

This inane goof is way overused, devs are too lazy to make something new

So they stay with the same gameplay loop, and gamers stray away by playing a flute !!!


Because of this awesomest brawn that I got Undyne knows I've a shot at the Royal Guard !!! 

But my chances will not top all of the stomps you call “plots” that been foiled are

So better get Kamek for backup his magic will hand you the chance of 

Not napping in battle when you get all tired out madly attempting to land an attack on !!!


Boom Boom:

As those doors crashed open and ya began rattling off dad jokes

I can now understand why in Smash-Bros, only Sans shows

Ya stand so tall yet ya trapped in that fat jokes shadow

Must be tampering with ya eyes, you can't see past it like a lamp post!


And those puzzles put me to rest n’ yet I still get something from them lesser quests

If I put my foot up at your head ya eyes should be xs when I step on em! 

His schemes are literally a walk in the park, all would know that id drop him easy

Sans and you must be the rotting-up corpses of Wario and Waluigi! 


IIIIM BOOM BOOM BOOM B-BOOM B-BOOM BOOM Like how ya traps blow up in ya face!

THE HUGE NUKE OF THE KOOPA TROOP Meanwhiiiiile ya got nothing to say!

Skinny bones ain't no meaty opponent one shitty throw could leave him beat and broken

The utmost weakest joke in Snowdin holding pity votes as a means of coping!


Papyrus:

Pissed off? I would be too if I only exist cuz of a pit stop

Which rots at the center of worlds: This mid boss is a mid boss (Nyeh-heh-heh!)

Now comes my secret move which defeats a goon in 3 in tune hits

It would leave you confused and seeing stars but it seems you beat me to it !!! 


WHAT, These stupid dogs have ruined it all, including both you and this new sup one

Whos useless boss has been used so much, won't needa beat ya to know you fell off !!!

Your putrid plot is moving left and right, at best can fly, SANS, THE PESTICIDE !!!

He spent his life endlessly obsessed with guys who tend to best his efforts every time !!!  


Kamek:

Once upon a time a boneless sidekick had his hopes to fight and

Be Royal guard but was regarded as too barebones and kind

He thought humankind as slow n spineless cuz they had chosen violence 

But then Frisk came along…


Boom Boom:

Could say that they left ya open minded! (Kamek: OHHHHH!!!)


Gonna be honest ready? it's easy to know what pastas from your awful recipe

If one chomp and there's vomit on his top already then it's gotta be Paps spaghetti!

Ya blue hearts been botchin’ any shot it gets yet he still pretends to be all optimistic

So I'd call it fittin that you're the skeleton here your love lifes nonexistent!

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!

Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

Reginald Tetra (Cemetery Mary) VS The Elephant Man (Camp Here & There) - Rap Battles of Whatever

PLAY CEMETERY MARY!!! AND LISTEN TO CAMP HERE & THERE!!!! because there are spoilers here GUURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quizzique as Reginald Tetra
M!CAH as The Elephant Man
Writing by Rosenthal
Additional Help by AlchemyKing, ThanosQuack, A Trash Artist
Art by Rosenthal
Mixed by Trakked 
Beat by ToneJonez
Special thanks to Mayfield & Belov, ArcadeKitten, garbageGothic, AlchemyKing, and the rest of the Maryheads!

0:00

Rap Battles of Whatever! Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man! Begin!

Reginald Tetra (0:18)

(Ahem…) Welcome, pleasure t’have met ya
I’m Reginald Tetra, and I couldn’t help but notice your poor sense of direction
See, the cemetery’s the next stop
For a rotten corpse like you, I could tell from the smell of your stench (Ugh)
So let me address the man in the room
Or rather, the elephant man harassing the youth
With how you're dressing yourself, the only magic in you
Was Sydney’s vanishing act that turned the camp to a coup (*Chuckles*)
Don’t masquerade as a prophet
With the simplest visions you make, it’s obvious that people leave you blamed for exhaustion
Though, you’d only steal glances when you break in to rob them
You got some screws loose, so let me put the nails in your coffin

The Elephant Man (0:55) 

Amen! Cease the prayers and the praise, friends!
Your game had acclaim, yes, but you just put the ‘claim’ in!
For this man? He lies! (Ha!) It makes sense for a ‘lay’man!
His fake talk of a dayjob gets paid off with a raincheck! (*Chuckles*)
Said you make coffins? (Well, well…) That’s a new excuse!
Once I’m through with you, (Hahahaha!) I can do that too…
Stupid fool, (Blasphemy!) and with every single route to choose
Time and time again, (Why!) you just end up out the loop! (No!)
They can’t uncover the Blackwood Butcher,
‘Cause you just hide the skeletons in your closet with rats in your cupboard,
And it seems you’re not the careful type, much like how that chair is tied
Your alibi’s not airtight, so-

Reginald Tetra (1:32)

Don’t you even dare of trying-
-To worm into heads with the worms in your mouth when you talk!

The Elephant Man (1:35)

You cut tongues, maybe consider your own? Just a thought.
Left in the dark so much, you’d fit as cabin doctor, no?

Reginald Tetra (1:41)

That cabin going dark is nothing to a Blackout Hospital
Vile, with one look you'd knock my lights out
But you're such a child, you'd get shook once the light's out
And I’m surprised how Sydney believes all the things you speak
‘Cause he only ever listens to you in his sleep.

The Elephant Man (1:57)

This isn’t fair to me! You barely know what caring means!
One night, you’re taking Mary in as charity, and when she finds the hair you keep
She’s too scared to scream because you’re there, it seems
You’re not just her doctor, you’re the reason she’s in therapy!

Reginald Tetra (2:10) 

Well, if you wanna get with a medic, then let this be your appointment,
You took toys from the kids and Sydney’s feelings to toy with
So they practised defense, but this bastard can’t get it
All your ideals aren’t grounded - now that’s astral projection!
Wanted a life with the dead guy? (Ugh!) You’re highly possessive!
Sent threats to find him, but you got the wrong kind of ‘director’!
Ever since then, you’ve been mentally backwards
Got a taste of your own medicine, and you still can’t reflect on your actions!

The Elephant Man (2:33)

I’m backwards? Your cold case is littered with antifreeze!
So toxic, explains the way that you’re treating your family!
Escaped the law in your plot, ‘cause you weren’t part of it!
You can’t pass bars to get to the conflict between Congress and Parliament!
I don’t know why you sound amused when expanding tombs,
Under the surface, you already got lots of ground to lose!
You hurt your love with Mary, now it’s down there too!
Your fans were shippers of a dead romance, now they’ll worship our muse! (Hahahahaha!)

Outro (2:58)

Reginald Tetra VS The Elephant Man - Rap Battles of Whatever

ArcadeKitten battles are back on the menu (I say, as if the last one wasn't a week ago)

Snakebite126 as Bobble the Clown
M!CAH as Lambchop
Prod. by Anywaywell
Beat arrangement by Raisu Battle
Writing by Alchemyking
Mixing by Spadical
Thumbnail by Elizalkin
Special thanks: garbageGothic, Rosenthal, Quizzique, all the Maryheads

LYRICS:
Bobble the Clown:
Hey, kids! Welcome to my show! I… where are the tots at?
Oh, you must be the mentally immature one, ‘cause otherwise, you would’ve passed out from my broadcast!
Right, now we’ve got that cleared up. As a shop owner, deals are what you’d mostly be closing,
But unfortunately for you, there’s also a wolf tryna get in the clothes of this wolf in sheep’s clothing
But of course, you fell for the one person in your town you couldn’t pack in your articles. 
Tell me, are you crushing on that star witch because her magic can fix your lack of any heartstrings to pull?
Then she says “I can fix him”, but even she can’t once I’ve gutted this Tumblr cutie.
How’s a killer supposed to be threatening with resurrection? ArcadeKitten might as well be a fucking PUSSY!
So when I’m throwing these hands, you’ll be tortured and damned like all of the soldiers in camps
Makes sense that this sheep would flock to what’s popular - he stole all the trends from Cult of the Lamb
Now kids, I may be loud on the air, but your head’s in the clouds if you’re scared of this fantasy monster
Prepare for another Kitchen Surprise, as I lead another lamb to the slaughter

Lambchop:
Welcome to my shop! I assure you, there’s many sweets to try
But maybe you should hold off, ‘cause you’ve already got a sickeningly saccharine redesign!
(sigh) You know what? I’m already bored of dissing this clown who’s a literal hack
So I’m dragging you off like I’m Dr. [[REDACTED]]; mark the second time you’ll be in the back
It’ll soon be clear your doom is near - bet you’ve never seen a sheep with pruning shears
You’ll be decapitated like Raj; how about I sell Bobble’s head as a souvenir?
Pennywise on a penny’s budget is hardly bringing scary content
Sure, you may hate me, but look into my eyes; you think you can win a staring contest?
Thought you’d be a famous horror star, but dropped off the air like Stella
Facing off ‘gainst me is a gutsy move, but like Ruuuuby, I’m fed up
You’re the clown, and your whole damn site’s a circus, but not one I’d visit for fun
After I’ve left Bobble bodybagged, the record of your loss is data you’ll wish stays expunged

Bobble the Clown:
Wanna put up a fight, but your verse was underweight; for a butcher, I thought you could pack meat
Even before your mind was changed, you alwarys stood out as the black sheep
In Stella’s village, her plan was to keep them happy, ‘til she found this piece of crap’s secret stash
All it took was a wave of her hand to erase your brain more than any Grade A amnesiac!
I don’t even need to learn to stay unnoticed, ‘cause there’s, like, six guys in your Potemkin village
Grab a mosquito trap and leave your business as embers! Remember, kids; it’s the most effective method for getting rid of pests and insects
Leaving necks slit’s how you get her attention and end up as close souls?
Tell me, Lambchop: how does my average episode have a less fucked-up moral?

Lambchop
You’re getting under people’s skin, but I’m not talking that when I say you’re a boring twat
Where’s your entourage? Well, either way, when I break your legs, you’ll need a different supporting cast
Biggest threat you could make is doxxing, creeping and peeping on researchers
But Ronald McDonald over here can’t even bring enough beef for a decent burger
This is not the place for you, I could chop off all your bodyweight and still make it in time for my coffee break
But you’ve already been locked away to rot away, makes sense why you’re marked as “Safe”
Well, it’s been an honor, but there’s no doubt who won in this bout of cannibalistic villainy
SCP-993’s been terminated, and there’ll soon be more fresh meat for delivery

Bobble the Clown (SCP Foundation) vs. Lambchop (Sweet No Death) - AK Rap Battles

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. Disturbing topics ahead.
MultiSuperVids as The Grifter
Cri and GarbageGothic as Sad Satan
Beat produced by DumbChild
Written by Trakked
Additional help by Worms, GamingPlush64 and Snakebite126
Mixed by Jort
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

The Grifter:
What you're about to see is graphic; discretion advised
The only vid within the net that's known for wrecking your life
Traumatizing psychologically and causing nausea 
Drop a doll and offer trauma, smash your head with a pipe
No petty grifting or swindling, I'm malicious, bitch
I take the children playing your game and I rip them bit by bit
I hear their pleads for life and really, I don't give a shit
So why don't you just give up now, submit and slit your wrists
There's reasons that they all call me the monster of the Balkans
You had a short rise, but like Lucifer, you've fallen
You got a couple idiots to walk along some hallways
They watch me and they wish there was a single shred of God left
The "real" version of your game's a mess
CP on PCs displayed with text 
You cannot turn back because you've been warned
You're not demonic, while I'm the Devil in human form.

Sad Satan:
Pain. Suffering. Torment. 
All is deserved when this killer is dormant.
Abhorrent, the Grifter becomes a new victim and stored in 
My files with the rest of the corpses.
This Most Disturbed Person on Earth is worthless
A supposed man-demon that I classify as vermin
And worse yet, this mixtape attempts to keep fighting
But see that your race is the one that is dying.

The Grifter:
You fail to understand why I'm regarded as a mindfuck
Let's have some fun before our time's up..
I'm gonna be finding a reason to have you writhing and screaming 
Tear off your eyelids with violence so you will never keep your eyes shut
It's playtime, fucker, grab this bitch by the neck
Pin him down, stab his systems and I slit all the rest
Puncture his chest, and hit him till he's wishing for death,
Twist his neck and skin this infant, put this vid on the net

Sad Satan:
Stop. Your empty threats are getting numerous.
I've a cult following that's larger than your hubris is.
Originated in forum boards on 4Chan,
Then mods saw your bodies and opted to have your gore banned.
This necropedophile is soft on his victims
Give in to pure hopelessness with the lack of God that you'll witness
You are fraudulent and sinful, and so your crimes will be judged still
This is not a rap battle. This is a snuff film.
Sluggish and unresponsive when my virus catches on
Tell me, who will sob when your body is dead and gone? 
Not a single soul. In fact, it will be celebrated.
Walk into the hall and reach for the death that's awaiting
You are a joke to the scenes in the deep web
Leaving channels abandoned with scenes no one has seen yet
Catatonic and unspeaking so you're saving your breath
Like your final child, The Grifter meets a fate worse than death.

The Grifter vs Sad Satan - Rap Cypher #36.66

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xbR7KnS01a1uJRYIfmuuo6NqRoJkKmLI_VGtdyokgDQ/edit
garbageGothic as White Ghost Cookie
MetaMachine as Scratch
Azia as Molly McGee (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Legengo and AlchemyKing
Mixing by Serena
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by Dansonn
Art by Valonide and BMB
Hint for next time: "Apex Leaders"

White Ghost Cookie vs. Scratch

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of flying, sleep-centered video game villains; The Phantom, Minecraft’s monster of the night sky, versus Nightmare Buzz, the bad dream boss of the Toy Story video game for SNES and Genesis. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Phantom
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Nightmare Buzz

-LYRICS-

Phantom (0:15):
Bad dream? Nah, it’s just this dude’s carelessness
Tag Team tonight’s victim; Swoop! There it is! 
Take away those dollar store Dragon Balls, whatcha Saiyan now?
Don't bother tryna keep your head up, your chin'll weigh it down 
Narcoleptic? Off the checklist. Nah, this creep’s devoured
Coated red like older textures. Wanna piece of our
Mem-brains? Ya get ten scrapes to your chestplate! Say goodnight, dude!
Your defense play’s a pretend laser? I’ll Explain, sir; it’s only going down like you
Homie, we know you ain’t zapping shit 
And if you don’t feel like vanishing
Get under the covers when Phantoms hit
Make a bed you'll forever be napping in 
Making you return to your dreamscape (yuh)
With an even-more-green face (yuh)
Make sure that you’ll sleep great (where’s that?)
Deeper than deepslate
We put the fear in atmosphere for this toy
Watching this space junk drop like a meteoroid! 
Unbreakable. Make a bed rock while we’re up in the clouds
Leaving a Buzz cut; we're number 1 all around

Nightmare Buzz (1:03):
I’m glad you’re done, I’ve never heard such bad flow
In any battle, guess your turn’s just mad slow 
Either way, you’ll be shot down. I sleep on you, you’re knocked out 
I know it’s time to kill you; guess you don’t needa… watch out! 
This sentient Elytra’s dumb. I don’t need to light ‘em up
These Dodgers of a Bright Sky combust without the slightest touch 
But I Imagine that having you in real life’s a must
Gamers playing, staying up this many days and nights is nuts 
I conclude this Phantom Menace is worse, by far 
Even in death, what I drop’s higher than 5 stars 
You’ll hit the ground like Woody’s game over. Brew some ‘brane potions
Throw them, and savor your pain going way slower  
Go ghost like Danny! Green eyeballs? I’ll pop ‘em
Hearing you Phantoms screech is… not an Opera 
On second thought, I take a liking to those high blares
Akin to the screaming kids whose dreams I turn to nightmares

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by NickChou
Additional instruments by Renraku, Grant Michael, Diaspora, and Sample Magic

Feedback by King Mewtwo, GamingPlush64, RNG, TheBabyBeef, Swizkii, my therapist, Eddiefrb and the spaceship
Shoutout to Cri, Danii, and Eric the Audible

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Phantom vs Nightmare Buzz | Half-Ass Rap Battles

[Note: this may or may not be the final mix]

Durdoesstuff as Spamton
ClarenceTheDuck as Caine
Cri as Kinger
Durdoesstuff as Jax
Dcoregamer as Bubble
Angel as Jevil

Crew
Beat by Anywaywell
Mixed by Durdoesstuff
Written by Trav Shark & Durdoesstuff
Art by Marx
Backgrounds by Trav Shark 
Thumbnail by PhantomEPRB 

(Spamton interrupting intro): We interrupt this intro for some breaking news

Spamton:
Have you ever been trapped inside a [virtual show]
Where some dentures try to censor every [word that you know]
You're but a pilot, kid, I'm bigger, you've got minimal figures.
[Feel free to drown yourself in the Digital river]

[You really think you have a chance?!] to stand up to me?
Your own VA was famous for fandubbing me!
Don't mind if I shine light on your relation with Moon. (Ha)
Somebody oughta get this pair a pair of [Dating Shoes]

Just a [burst] of thought that I'd struggle to ignore
I dish licks like Bubble when there's a puddle on the floor.
Trust me [little sponge], you'll be fighting me not.
When I lock him in the void like [Hyperlink Blocked]

Tell me what'll happen when all your people abstract?
You'd be trapped inside a game, way too punish you for your [acts]
Like a [crown of thorns], I'll cut deep on this child's toy.
[I'm so fly], while your voice was swiped by FlyBoy.

Caine:
Kinger: Uhhh Caine… I think this scam abstracted!
Relax. I'm sure this darkner's just buggy.
Kinger: That's the guy who got Kris to have his plan enacted!
Hey! We got a sale on "Blackmail for Dummies"

Anyways, here, let me show you around.
There's kinger, pomni, and Kaufmo the clow-
Wait a minute where's Kaufmo? Has anyone seen him? 
Seems he's late, like your full game releases.

Jesus, haven't met a man so mangled. 
This dangled angel is as two faced as Gangle.
Seems like you're tangled and frayed like a bowtie.
I'll take out my cain and then bang it through both eyes.

I'll put the pedal to the metal, like the vessels that you'd peddle.
Went bananas off track, now you're meddling with jevil!
And hey! It's no shock why you dropped from your slipknots. 
Ironic, this kid's cut quick by a big shot.

Spamton:
Jevil: Chaos! Chaos! A masterful verse!
Even a lack of order when you're rapping? Huh.
Jevil: Oh please! Can't admit that your patter was worse?
I'll send both you toys back to Chapter 1.
(Jevil Laugh)

You're [Killing me kid]. All these raps are futile.
Can't look up half of your cast on google.
These jabs are [half off], too fast and brutal
I'll hack this jack off, your acts aren't fruitful.

I'm not talking cats, you can't [Manage your Tasques.]
Seen better leadership from Queen with her hand on a glass.
Kid with all your glitches you should just consider [letting go]
You can call me [Swatch], I just served this Spaghetti Code

Caine:
(Bubble: Spaghetti? Yum!) Oh you parasite, Please!
Bubble: Caine, come on! He's just a sob the knight beat
Jax: He might be, but he reeks of "boss fight"
This ain't the first time he's lost the "Mike"

Toby switched settings, still failed the blunder.
Don't need the Wacky Watch to see what Tale you're Under.
You want my cash or my soul? Well I'm giving you neither.
Go back to Cyber City 'cuz you're silent in this cypher.

You started fighting Kris, but he got through to your heart.
I'd say your life is like Zooble because you pulled it apart.
And now your legacy is gone, your grave is buried in snow.
So on this picky pipis pitcher, that's curtains closed.

Spamton vs. Caine ft. Durdoesstuff, ClarenceTheDuck & more

Malina Rose as Tifa Lockhart (audio)
ThatAdorableFox as Tifa Lockhart (video)

MetaMachine as Max Headroom Incident (audio)
Cri as Max Headroom Incident (video)

Written by SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing help by JK03
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Dansonn
Additional instrumentation by Mega PMB
Cover art by JotaSeis

Tifa (0:16):
Name is Tifa - here to serve ya
I won't need a - spell to burn ya
I would beat ya - but you'd like it
This track's a power plant, AVALANCHE is gonna light it-
Up! You're at the forefront of trolling for the hell of it
Performed a messed-up shtick and ever since you've been irrelevant 
Behaving so indecently to kids doesn’t sit right
Now do what you do best and escape into the Midnight (Ayy!)
Like a meteor, you've fallen quick
The only time you'll "Catch the Wave" is from my Dolphin Kick! 
While you leave the world baffled, I'm a global hit 
Call you Don Corneo cause I'll own 'ya, bitch! 
You're nothing but a memory
Went silent after going live, you may as well be dead to me! 
3 minutes in the spotlight and you left the scene
Any impact that you could've made’s an endless dream! (Uh!)

Max Headroom Incident (0:50):
For a nerd working in a bar, I thought you'd have some 
You're just Chun-Li with some knuckles tacked on
Fact of the matter is, you can't take threats directly
Ran away from Shinra like "they're coming to get me!"
And all it takes some envy to overpower her
Can’t lock hearts with Cloud cause he'd fallen for the flower girl (Awww)
Why such a downer, huh? Clinging on that desperately? 
His love for you is fading worse than his memories!
Saved the world from the biggest of hits
But you couldn't save yourself from a rickety bridge
The quack doctors took advantage of ‘ya lickety-split
‘Cause when you got a coma, you were insufficiently fixed
Man, you consistently miss if we're listing your drinks
You couldn't serve me up a punch that would give me a kick
And your abilities, kid? Oh Jesus, who cares?
Seeing you fight’s making me the one who's crippled in a wheelchair!

Tifa (1:24):
I've backed up the gang of a good revolution to fuel my need for retribution 
Proceeded to storm corporations so ruthless, whereas your intrusion was only a nuisance
You've proven that crudeness is futile, just useless, a desperate ploy to incite some confusion
And though you escaped FBI persecution, you won't be excused when I'm doing this dude in
A shame your first attempt met a gloomy end
Got your fun cut short by WGN
Then you made the headlines in Chicago, but at what cause?
Wanted all of mankind to see you as a fraud?
Man, your thinking is flawed, acting so damn perversely
Chucked a verse so Bull, you’re no better than Swirsky!
Your fame is on life support, swept under the rug (Uh)
All I’d need to leave you beat is pull the plug

Max Headroom Incident (1:58):
Oh ho ho ho… was that really all, kid?
Should’ve made like Marlene’s dad and dropped it
My giant masterpiece… seems like you watched it
‘Cause all you spewed was piles of garbled nonsense
Let's flashback to that sad past of carnage
Sephiroth must've had a lot of blood prints
Frickin’ liberal was so cursed with knowledge 
He left you an orphan and your town demolished!
Awwww… That must be rough
Poor daddy got turned into a shish kebab!
I'm scarred by your story’s length, where does your lore start?
Living in the slums? Of course you’d have poor bars!
Screw your limit break! My prime time is taking slots
Left your city in a perilous state to rot
Maybe a drink will keep your trauma in check
‘Cause Nibelheim’s a burning memory you’d rather forget!
(Laughs)

Tifa Lockhart vs The Max Headroom Incident. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. Malina Rose & Meta)

Art in the banner by Grenade, Banner made by SPM
Owned by Trakked
Discord: @trakked

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