Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBndlkZgME

Holt Voiced By JordoMIB
Swanson Voiced By Matt Raichous
Peralta Voiced By Stark Media
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie

Holt:

Peralta! Who’s this hairy woodsman in my office?
That pine smell is noxious! He looks so obnoxious!

Jake:

Umm, sir? It’s a rap battle. You’re fighting with disses?

Holt:

Ridiculous! He should know a Captain’s shot never misses!

Ron:

I don’t like you, but I respect the effort
Maybe you should sit this out, don’t think you really wanna get hurt
I’m an expert as a wrecker, or protector, you’ll be busted.
And I hope you’re ready for some Really Good verse Construction

Holt:

I’m the leader of a team, cleaning the streets with precision
While this pigeon isn’t a smidge interested in decisions!
So just listen, all initiative you get goes to waste
So put down the sax, Duke. Silver’s always second place!
Just face it, I’m the greatest in the B99
You’re complacent,  work and laziness walking a fine line
Built up a sense of greatness, but you winning only relates
When you’re ripping through dozens of eggs, like it’s practice for Ann’s place!
And honestly? You’re trying too hard to be anonymous
You’re not some big shot hero: You’re just a common bitch!
No chance that Raymond’s bombing this, I’m obviously better
If I wanted to deal with an old dog, I’d call Cheddar!

Ron:

They gave your cop comedy a spot, but it was wasted
It’s like Mike took his best show and copied and pasted!
Got the lovable dumb lead, the overachieving partner
Sassy and badass women, and the losers, just for starters!
When it comes to spitting harder, I’m blunt with no jokes
Think of this as betting on the ponies, Raymond, ‘cause you’re going broke.
Holt is starting to choke, Velvet Thunder’s a Wet Blanket
Only time you run a track is with your childhood train set

Holt:

Crushing the competition. Is this Jimmie Jabby too?
Try accusing me of cheating, but I’m not Tammy 2!
Not too shabby of a poet, I’m a master with my tone
If you try to spit another verse, you’ll end up BOOOONED

Ron:

Those raps dragged on like your time in uniform did.
I’m so iconic, my stache is always era appropriate
The key to dealing with your bars, is just not listening
To flow so robotic, Twitter thinks a bot’s dissing me
In competition Ron is a General like his namesake
The only time you tried solving a case is when you played Jake!
I’m calling you the Government, you’re crazy and useless
Get your doctor hubby to take a look at your bruises

Raymond Holt Vs. Ron Swanson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Mint as Hatman (thumbnail and audio)
Mint as Otto
Mixed and written by Mint
Beat by Allrounda

Hat Man:
i incite death, bitch.
solely because of fear wrought upon my victims, but i don't get shit.
'cause they went and set this little pest with a penchant
up against the bane of the restless.
so put up your dukes, this college class in code
could never match the class that i'm stacking with any pack of drones.
you're about to have a heart attack with how i rap and flow-
i've a hunch that you're about to crash and it's just laughable.
i've seen your claim to fame, face.
got cleaned out the arcades, face.
thought you'd just been maiming teens, face.
but they just really needed to save face.
so when i rock this cane, know i'm not so safe.
watch me stalk this track, i'm on top - hat!
brave of you bouncing back to this beat, but sane's what you're not
so cave in to walking pain!

Evil Otto:
I'm surprised you understood what I'm responsible for!
Because quite honestly, I never really got to check yours :)
So while I've got you here I'll rally up my bots and some more
And leave this bogeyman dropped and watch him rot on the floor
Flows like a shocking maze around this wannabe
You think you got the high score? I'm known for stopping hearts
But you've got no heart, I'll leave you drawn apart
When I just stick to the program and go and drop the beat!
You're barely haunting, I'll leave you in the dirt
In this feud this dude's getting hurt 
I spawned a following, sprawling across the continent, falling is what you're doing
While you're calling an intruder alert! 
Like your appearance, all your verse had was capping, son
When I say fight like a robot I don't mean rap like one!
So when you're trying to find a victim to scare for a pastime
Pick a guy who smiles a bit less next time!

Evil Otto vs The Hatman. BONUS BATTLE! S0E3

RNG as SCP 990 and This Man (audio)
Written by RNG 
Mixed by Jort
Beat: Luxury by Tristan
Thumbnail and cover art by: Oofie

This Man: (0:12)
I’m put against an SCP? Who isn’t 173?
I’ll still take wins and sweep stolen shtick Dicks off the beat
Your story’s so boring, you’ve done half of my job for me
Putting everyone who reads your wiki page instantly to sleep!
I’m the GOAT! I flow like a knife to the throat
And I won't let go till you’re bleeding in the snow
You can't run, you can't hide, after this incident on the mic
Cause I'll always be there watching you for the rest of your life

SCP 990: (0:39)
I wasn't aware there were insults in the shit that you spewed
And I believe a person has the right to be called what they choose
Yet you think calling me Dick is something to lay into
When it’s pretty clear the real dick-head here is you
Creep who kills in dreams? I can’t believe it’s not Freddy
Although he does spill blood while you just leave pissed on bed sheets
You aren't ready for the bombs that will leave no one (no one!)
So when starting verbal wars expect a Cold one (cold one!)
98 percent of all humans burnt to a crisp
An apollyonic apocalypse, it’s impossible to stop it
This future contains This Man, lost in a sea of flame
Because on this microphone the Keter class is uncontained!

This Man: (1:18)
Uncontained? I cross continents every day to bring a person hell
While you only show yourself to the foundation’s personnel
So in the nets hall of fame i'll stay, while you’re forgotten day by day
You don't even have fame to decay, you never went Viral K anyway!
The only ones who’d care if this SCP was wiped from history
Are degenerate Redditor fedora wearers who scream “ACKSHUALLY”
There's no point in continuing, this head already wears the crown
So I’m done with this battle, another bitch put down

SCP 990: (1:45)
Taking shots at my following? As if yours aren’t twice as bad, please
Your Files got X'd out by fucking 4Chan and Assme
You only fuck with kiddie dreams so I’ll take pleasure in making this pedo scream
So that no amount of calls can wake up one permanently put to sleep

This Man vs SCP 990 Rap Battle!

Happy Holidays yo.

Written & edited by: CreeperPasta
Mixed by: Masteredit
Light as: Santa Claus
MetaMachine as: Melchior
SpideyFam as: Gaspar
ShadowZel as: Baltazar

Santa Claus: (0:24)
Ho Ho Ho! Now let's get down to business!
I checked once, I checked twice. You're all three on my diss list
Now tell me, you group of misfits;
What are you gonna do y'all three against the almighty Father Christmas?
I've faced many challenges, but… The Three Stooges from the Bible?
Even Pepsiman was a better choice of a rival
You should take out your texts to write these new holy verses
"Play nice before I spit facts like your god gave people curses."

Three Wise Kings: (0:48)
Dashing through the snow, on a one-horse open sleigh
Our journey was interrupted by a man with overweight
Between the trespassing and allegations, I can't tell which is worse
Put aside the cookies and milk; you're gonna eat those words.
We follow a path for our lord and saviour in need
You claim to be a saint, yet you use Christmas for your greed
Children have to be nice just for pieces of plastic? Come on!
I've seen better delivery from a drone of Amazon
God told us he ain't happy with that factory of yours
I'm pretty sure nothing jolly is happening behind closed doors.
We're royalty, yet humble. Only blessed by our lord
Your biggest act presence is a fat, sweaty guy at the mall
You fill children with expectation, then bring socks and Poly Station
If I see you near my home, I'mma call the police station
Our gifts have more value than anything you have at your store.
Gold! Incense! Myrrh! Now tell us, what have you brought?

Santa Claus: (1:37)
I have presents within me! I have cheer, I have toys! 
You only targeted a baby, I focus on all the girls and boys
I also have a gift for you, is a piece of my wisdom too:
Next time, you should choose better at what kind of king you should listen to.
(Singing) Santa Claus, on his sleigh! Jingle all the way!
I'm celebrated worldwide, you only have Spain! (Only Spain? Wow!)
Yes, and guess what? We're not so different after all
From the letters, cookies, milk, even the fat guys on the mall!
You do what I've been doing for years! Oh my heavens!
Mrs. Claus! Heat the oven! We're getting served sloppy seconds!
I can go to all people's homes in just a couple of hours
These wizards disappoint me. Minus 10 points for Hogwarts
You follow a shooting star? You should fly away like Rudolf
Because my Christmas cheer can sure beat any trick you pull off

Three Wise Kings: (2:25)
We follow a shooting star, yet your future ain't looking bright.
Jingle the bell twice if you think you're playing Walter White.
When it comes to bringing the heat, you should shut your mouth.
Down below your floors, the North Pole is heading South.
You don't seem to taste the feeling. This Coke product was watered down
Since when it comes to the poor, Santa ain't coming to their town
That said, we've had enough. Let's put an end to this fight.
We wish you all a Merry Christmas, and of course, a good night!

Santa Claus vs The Three Wise Kings - Rap Assault!

Its Gex vs Gecs in the battle of that same word i guess

Swoldow as Gex
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCEChe9QBojo1a8OQVKtwMw

VinnyO as Dylan
https://www.youtube.com/c/VinnyO
Jenni No Merc as Laura
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClL85j1pRjS0KWNapOjmiQw

Written by Grey Julius and Swoldow

Edited by Dani Frias
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1NU_TJWrmJbGAyVtPu-Hdw

Mixed by Dani Frias and VinnyO

Art by 
Strawberryp0ssum
https://twitter.com/strawbrryp0ssum?t=yuIspMQrxOWW9LCy44IByg&s=09

Johnston entertainment ™️
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUkNOXWXDXbRBXqYCMRPmKw

Beat by Fantom
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOmk6ph9XDMVNaLihvPQT6g

Gex:
Halloween at Rib Taylor’s came early this year
Like to stop your hyperpop, that shit is driving me psycho
So HEREEEEEES GEXIE! Invoking way more fear
Than two fucks fronting a tree tryna be death grips on light mode
(it’s tail time) Not even the chipmunks sound this squeaky
(yeah it’s tail time) You brand name was stolen from graffiti 
This is like penis hour with the how to train your dragon twins
Between us Gecs only my “sets” are out here smashing hits

Dylan and Laura:

*buildup*
Hey you lil’ piss baby, Think you hot shit Gex?
You won't flex when you see what we’ve got next, bitch

Tried to be Mario with a generic mascot palette
The small hand you had in gaming got crushed by a mallet
Your outdated 90s shtick makes fucking sonic look clean
You may be green but you ain’t a fucking money machine
This boys only got one joke, it's the only one he knows, it's the only one he knows
We will make this lizard croak, so don’t even try to flow, so don’t even try to-
We’ll help you sing your blues, see the tree and get a clue
That no game console will ever ever ever welcome you

Gex:
I fight my fights through spitting so i'm destined to defeat you
You two ain’t fly, you won't catch me tryna eat you
Its takes only mememe to diss you two out
This is like writing raps at Psytube’s house
It's such a pain on the tail to be confronting Gecs
I'm the game that you’ll never 100 Percent 
There's only one time your name being cool makes sense
When Scott the Woz got a box of 100 Gex

Dylan and Laura:
You're Peter Griffin 64, Memes keep you off the floor
Fuck your tail time, get off your high and stupid horse
The world ghosted you, We can’t give Laura Les of a fuck
We like Geckos only when they give insurance for our truck 
Rev thought you’d a good mascot he must’ve been on coke
Only Dynamic Crystal is the meth your devs smoke
So stop fucking watching TV and maybe you’ll stop sucking ass
Being in virtual worlds don’t count as touching grass

Gex vs 100 Gecs - Rewind Rap Rumble!

Welcome to the series premiere of Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity! Either the video or audio will be released on YouTube on June 5th, 2022. Here we have two badass vigilantes Robin Hood and Zorro battling it out to see who's the better at defending the weak. Who Won? Who's Next? You Decide!

CAST (video means body actors when the video comes out): 
BuffaloBrandon/ @user-4436969 as the announcer (audio) and Zorro (video)
Chao/ @chaoprod as Zorro (audio)
Grasman/ @user-181053137-875144009 as Robin Hood (audio)
LiterallyJustDan/ @annyneock as Robin Hood (video)
I'mJustBrenden/ @imjustbrenden as Himself (audio and video)

LYRICS: Robin Hood:
This poser’s a wanted poster; stepping up to my flows, sir?
I’m the poster child for thievery, giving this ogre closure
Spitting bitter; tongue sharper than my quiver of arrows
I’ve seen better sword-wielders from the likes of Jack Sparrow
Every shot you fire? Aimless. Don Diego is audacious
Stick your rapier in girls without consent, you’re so tasteless
Just a curse on California: a truly weak avenger!
You keep getting forgotten while I’m still on adventures!

Zorro:
Now now, Robin, it makes sense you always scurry
I might be the Fox but Disney turned you to a bigger furry
I’m like Little John of your Merry Men cuz I’ll leave you buried in!
With that small arrow, man, you really think you're Marion?
I’m the conquistador, yo of hot beats and more (oh)!
You will never score bro if you’re messing with the Zorro!
I’m astonished how Britain could love this lame fop!
Cuz I just ruined Robin Hood’s reputation more than GameStop!

Robin Hood:
Like I do to the rich, let me steal the mic back!
I cannot tell what's worse: your raps or your shite mask
You couldn’t woo the magistrate’s niece with your trickery
Left marks on Lolita’s lips but never one on history!
I’m like the forest I’m inhabiting; sprouted my genre’s roots!
You’re even more of a pussy than Puss in Boots!
I’ll leave this “nobleman” under my noble steed!
It’s ironic this big alter ego has no personality!
You disguise yourself to mask the fact that you’re a disgrace!
You’re like the letter in your signature: taking last place!
I’m a legend licking losers like I’m lapping this laddy!
Too bad, you couldn’t drop bars as hard as your daddy!

Zorro: 
I thought an archer like you would have better lines to deliver!
But, uh, have you never learned to keep your arrows in your quiver?
Look! There is no way you’re stoppin the way I’m hip-hoppin!
The truth is, dude, I’m the Batman to your Robin!
I’ll Locksley you up and put you away for good!
You wanna choke on the beat again? Sherwood! 
I am a vigilante like the world has never seen!
While you got outclassed by Katniss Everdeen!
This OG inspired DC and One Piece!
You think you can stump me? I’ll leave this chump beat!
Sorry, Robin my pal in this battle you got slain!
Call me Doncaster cuz you just got played!

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
TURBO TURBO TURBO TURBO TURBO (Brenden: “Shut the fuck up!”) Rap Battles of Eternity… 

PRODUCTION: 
Written by: BuffaloBrandon (@brandonfield03) and Special Inquisitor Rayyan (@rayyan-izz)
Chiseled by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan (@rayyan-izz), ERBdeArgentina (@batallasderapdeargentina), Trakked (@user-995901394), and I'mJustBrenden(@imjustbrenden)
Beat produced by: Ryan Jobe of ProBangers(@therealryanjobe)
Mixed and Mastered by: Jordy(@jordydydy)
Demo/Flowtest by CallMeCri (@user-776520528)
Cover art by: BuffaloBrandon (@brandonfield03)
To be edited by: Jodie Orr/Battlestar Graptica (@battlestar-garaptica)

Special thanks to my homies Tyler, Ryleigh, Ritchie, Cole, Issac, and Garret!!
Happy Mothers Day!! Love you Mom! Happy Late Birthday to I'mJustBrenden!!

Zorro Vs Robin Hood. Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity

Alex Rochon as Spamton
https://www.youtube.com/user/peanut3423
Quizzique as Vince Offer and Spamton (Brackets)
https://www.youtube.com/c/Quizzique

Written and Mixed by Quizzique
Beat by InsaneBeatz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf8Qf7u7iX0
Thumbnail by Quizzique
Special Thanks: GamingPlush64, Trakked, WAN

LYRICS
Vince Offer:
Hi, it’s Vince here with a new product to throw ya!
It’s called an ad blocker, and I’m sure that it’ll blow up
When I show the Dark World denizens, they’ll see right past this specimen
A skeleton of a salesman whose only caller never showed up!
The fanbase finally got over that clown around town
Now you’re the new fetish bait on the DeviantArt grounds
Hey, I’ve gotta ask a quick question to this outcast Addison
How’d you think that jacking fits wouldn’t land you in a trashy pit?
They tossed you in the garbage bin, now you’re stuck making dumpster deals
Asked Kris to find a cartridge, then you tricked them and brought hell on wheels
You thought their soul would bring you light, the Lightners always make good stuff
But you stayed a puppet, no freedom in sight, guess you just weren’t [[BIG]] enough


Spamton:
WOAH! WHO LET THE [[Hochi Mama]] ABUSER ON THE TRACKS?
EVEN I RESPECT WOMEN WHEN RIPPING THEM OFF FOR THEIR [[Wacky Stacks!]]
NOW I’M A [[Number 1 Salesman]] SO I’VE SOLD MY SHARE OF SCRAPS AND FLOPS
BUT YOUR [[Directorial]] DEBUT? THAT MUST’VE GONE THROUGH ONE OF YOUR [[Slap chops!]]
I’LL HAND IT TO YOU, YOU PUT [[HeartShapedObject]] IN ALL YOUR PRODUCTS
BUT LATELY YOU’VE FALLEN HARDER THAN YOU DID IN [[Legal Misconducts]]
SCIENTOLOGY SMEARED YOU LIKE A [[Sham]] AND YOU CRIED “THAT’S [[Bologne]]”
THEN YOU PAID THE PRICE, GUESS YOU'RE NOT [[Invinceable]], MR SHLOMI
THINGS ARE LOOKING SCHTICKY LIKE YOU WERE [[Posing]] FOR A MUGSHOT
BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME, VINCE, THAT YOU WANNA BE A [[BIG SHOT!]]
SO STEP INTO MY SHOP AND HEAR THE [[Dialtone]] SING
BUT IT WON’T BE ANY OF YOUR [[Esteemed customers]] THAT’LL RING


Vince Offer:
You follow this, camera guy? Spamley thinks I care for his wacky stacks!
Even with that cash, the queen still kicked you around like a hacky sack
Without NEO you’ve got no guts, your kromer deals don’t make the cuts
I hear that you’re a fan of pipis, so I bet you’re gonna love my nuts!


Spamton:
ME? LOVE YOUR NUTS? BUT THEY’VE GOT NO [[Glory]]
SINCE MELODY CLAIRE REALIZED MARRIAGE WASN’T MANDATORY
BUT THAT [[Quicky Grass]] COMMERCIAL, WOAH, NOW THAT’S A STORY
IT’S [[Not Cool!]] VINCE, FOR A SALESMAN TO ACT THAT PREDATORY
YOU USED TO BE SOMEBODY, YOU COULD SELL ANYONE A DOGGY BAG
BUT NOWADAYS YOU’VE BEEN REDUCED TO NOTHING BUT A [[College Humor]] GAG
[[HEAVEN]] ARE YOU WATCHING? HERE’S A BIG SHOT FOR YOU TO APPRAISE
YOU CAN TRY AS HARD AS YOU LIKE, BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE BILLY MAYS

Spamton vs Vince Offer | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #1 (ft.  Alex Rochon)

Wile E coyote vs El chupacabra

Cast
King ducky as el chupacabra
Box_soldier22 as wile E coyote

Crew
Written by acexperts
Additional writing help by Box_Soldier22  and Rebot17
Art by acexperts, Clarence the duck
Edited by acexperts
Thumbnail by Box_soldier22
Mixed by Light
Beat by anywaywell


Lyrics
El chupacabra (0:14)
Who's this deserted rat stepping up to the El goat killer?
Looking at your saga, its as big as your father
Through all the karma, all the times you got harmed bud
Not even the blood of my meals are as full of filler!
Always ending up hurt Chaval? Maybe cuz you're just a punching bag!
Adding all your overused appearances together, You're just a running gag! Haha
I feed on animal flesh and brains, your grin shows you eat shit
They couldn’t come up with a good surname, so called you what you are bitch
You got a rocket launcher (oh?) a catapult for rocks (oh?)
But when i am haunting (oh?) i grab your fucking nose and tear it right off (OH)
What's wrong, no hospital? To fix your blows 
Unlike the water you fall in wile e cannot fucking flow

Wile E coyote (0:57)
Another hungry mammal? Jeez, I can't feed you,
With your, Dracula wannabe shtick, I'm going to have to teach you,
How to be an elegant super genius, take it from one it's easy
Even your lines are less messy than your entire feeding

(fast rap)
Started as a story to freak out the most easily scared
Now they search for a myth way too prepared
i'm gonna ask, how the hell did you fare?
You could die right now, and no one would care
I am a genius call me wall E
There is no dog stopping me
Out smart you harder than i did with bugs bunny
Then you are just flopping, PLEASE

El chupacabra (1:25) 
Your one to talk, coyote when it comes to stories
Because not even the roadrunners lines are as boring
For the love of God, your show is a disgrace
I will blow up! Like your traps do in your face (ay)

(fast rap)
This idiot makes people watch his show
Only good part is being on warner bros
The show of 2 meth addicted runners on the road
Then he expects to win the crowd with his flow
This is another of coyote’s sham’s
This battle has you dunking, unlike space jam
Take your unrealistic speed so you can get ahead
When i bite of your fucking head!

Wile E coyote (1:54)
That verse sucked, i could perfect it quick
Sadly, unlike your makers i don't always make shit
And actually, its funny how I find that crap
that less effort going Into your story, and more into my traps (HA)

(fast)
You stalk farm animals like a minecraft player
Failing to rip them open acting like a hard slayer
Plot twist i put gunpowder in your sheep
Then you blow up, like my show release
You lost this battle, like with your life
Your sucking on the goat a second time
its not just my cartoons, i'm making you see stars
Now not even the road runner can escape my bars

Wile E. Coyote Vs El Chupacabra (ft. King ducky and Box_soldier22)

Beat by Allrounda

Dr Robotnik
Snooping as usual, so let's get down to business.
I'll kick Mario in his mushrooms, and prescribe him my Pingas.
"Ivo" Robotnik will give this woke Doc the smoke.
I'll have Peach licking my mean bean and chugging my yolk.
I’ve an army of robots. What do you got?
A fake degree and a brother who doesn't love you a lot?
In this battle rap of medics, I know I'll come out the winner
When I serve you like Spaghetti and eat you for Dinner.

Dr Mario
I'm a Mario rapper, prescribing you with disses
After this battle, I'm getting Princess Peach kisses!
I’ve got em dancing to the tune of my Warp Flute
When I hear you rapping, all I hear is TOOT TOOT TOOT!
And when it all starts to rain again, I better not see you leave
Don’t abandon me, stuck on my knees to grieve
(singing)
Hey baby. I just want you to know you’re looking really beautiful tonight <3

Dr Fauci
Dr. Anthony Fauci. Born in 1940.
Took Peach to my room and got blown by that shorty.
Watched The Sky Had a Weegee, shit gave me a tumor
Ivo’s fatass thinks he can rap? Ok Boomer.
Killed a few dogs, wasn't feeling so hot
Had the doc put me down with a Pfizer shot
Biden’s my next target. This is Fauci’s Last Stand.
So I’ll give you a taste of Anthony’s prostate exam

Did someone say prostate exam?
Shut the hell up bitch

Dr Phil
New symptom of Covid; it’ll make your ass bleed
You ugly, disgusting, give me the vaccines
Your faces I will pound see, you will be saying ouchies
You should really just kill yourself now Dr. Fauci
Get real, here’s something you can’t bare to hear
It’s that you’re an overweight, lonely, mental failure
Talked to your wife and Dr. Philled her with my cock bitch
If doctors can’t die they can sure be forgotten 

Dr Octagonapus
Dr Octagonapus BLAHHHHHHHHHH (WOO)
Shake that fucking ass bitch

The Doctor Royale.

i dont wanna do short battles anymore
justgamer is critikal in the tn

here's the lyrics
Charlie Brown
Lined up, now this track is lifted, hand me the beat and your mans will kick it
The black shit on my shirt reminds me of your analytics
They say he looks like Jesus, and I know that some may ask why
It’s cause this dude looks like he turns bath water to bath wine

you smell like Pig-Pen, when’s the last time you’ve done laundry 
I never change my clothes either, but that’s cause I’m a drawing
Good Grief man, how are you and your dildos both 4’ feet
The adults here sound like horns, and you’re also horny

Cr1tiKal
You’re not Snoop Dogg, if you don’t quit rapping
Call this Halloween because you’ll end up with jackshit 
Holy shit you’re so bald, and I know the chat is scared
But click the link below, he’ll get more than a strand of hair

not a Good Rapper, Charlie Brown, the worst ever noise heard
We are not the same, because you did not have a Moist Verse
You have Cancer, Charlie Brown, your life is pretty poor
Got panels like the stages, it all ends on four

scrapped charlie brown vs charlie white shorts demo

Clarence The Duck as JellyBean

BDGR as Happy Appy

Written by BDGR and Nugget

jelly lean bar written by Box_Soldier22

Additional Writing Help by Samuel Grasman, Box_Soldier22, Clarence The Duck, CheeseVA, Awesome Ayden, ForgottenSon

Beat Produced by Anywaywell

Mixed by Clarence The Duck

JellyBean (0:16)
Hi Chat! Welcome back it seems were in a rap battle
Today I’m paired against the homo-cidal apple.
So, note people are addicted to me like I was JellyLean
You were only relevant back in 2011 to ‘13

Then got thrown away since this apple is rotten to the core,
Your story made everyone bored, and they say MY content got them to snore?
And I don't know what's worse, your lore or your teaching?
Appy got flamed in this rap like an apple pie, yet he's still unappealing.

Happy Appy (0:43)
Hey Children! It’s me, the one and only Happy Appy! (Yay!!)
Today I have a special guest! The one with content so bad and crappy, (Awww!!)
So, clearly it’s not a masterpiece, it’s a mistake, kids!
And what do we do when we find a mistake? (”We erase it!”)

So, I’ll pull out my knife, cut them up until I've had enough, (AHH!)
Then watch them bleed out like my fucking eardrums!
You’re somewhere at the center of every TikTok conflict
If it wasn’t for constant hate on your block vids you wouldn’t have got clicks!

JellyBean (1:10)
It's like Appy’s bobbing for apples, with all the ups and downs in his verse,
And it leaves me baffled, that Happy actually thought those disses hurt
Especially coming from someone who predicted and committed tragedies
But couldn’t predict that his story was a bad read,

Went from kidnapping with vans, he’d cut ‘em up as they scream in agony
Then got tossed to ROBLOX and if THAT wasn’t enough flaws and casualties
He got picked up by the Gacha Life community,
Where he’d be known for the rest of his relevancy,

And let’s not forget the ARGs and Lost Episode clones you sparked up,
That did your shtick better then made you look like the Windows startup.
I would've expected you to know a thing about air time,
But, even going to space couldn't keep up your shows airtime 

Here’s a hint you can give to kids, can’t leave a print without forensics
Every second in this battle was your penance for all youth that you left tormented!
Your creator snuffed out your Candle cuz no one would go listen
So, actually being a fan of this creep's pasta? That's unnatural, children!

Happy Appy (2:06)
That verse crashed worse than 9/11 did.
It could only be enjoyed by some IPad kids!
I’d say it’s safe to say you really fell far from the apple tree,
So, does the biggest joke on the web still want to face me?

Beware cuz Appy goes berserk on beats, serving Bean defeat
When I snatch the win like DDoSers and doxxers did their IP,
Before you bring up clones, take a peek at your Duets and Stitches
Since you’ve managed to create a genre filled with fruity furry bitches

So, yes, you and I inspire many, and your PFP cults prove that,
But, what's sad is I expected great things from this brat, yet I got Bean Boozled bad.
Which reminds me, how the MCYT went from talented peeps,
To a file cabinet full of PNGs, irrelevant miners, and dead memes.

And I would've said "face the facts" but you're too insecure to do so,
When you dress for a pandemic but couldn't handle my sick flows!
So, children please say goodbye to our guest as their end is near
Since our time's up, but note, Bean's win is like their Twitter @ NotHere!

happy pride month

video on RBD

i am deeply sorry

Happy Appy Vs JellyBean

Hello! This will be the place where you can see either posts for BuffaloBrandon's Rap Battles or Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity. The BuffaloBrandon's Rap Battles is a series solely owned by me and Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity is a series co-owned by both me and my Discord partner in crime I'mJustBrenden. Man, it feels good to no longer have battles rotting on the ERB Wiki. Battles for TRBOE you probably will see posted on the TRBOE YouTube channel either as audios or videos, depending on progress.

Zorro Vs Robin Hood. Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity

BuffaloBrandon/Turbo Rap Battles of Eternity

Recent comments

lustxluh

Related tracks