A playlist of all the definitive Teimunity Rap Battles. This will included rap battles coming from 2022 all the way to Present Day.

TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

wow! another creepypasta battle! how original, trakked!
WoodenHornets as Abandoned by Disney
Spidey Fam as Gateway of the Mind
Beat produced by Trunkxs
Written by Trakked and Nooby
Mixed by Jordy
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Abandoned By Disney: (0:29)
Welcome to Treasure Island! It’s time I put your mind to silence
You’ll find I’m violent, so I’ll defile this eyeless private
Did you read the sign? Mascots only in my territory, 
Can’t bear your story, so short, yet so unfairly boring!
So, why do you wanna pick a fight against me? I don’t mean your studies when I say you shouldn’t test me
You claim to see a deity? You don’t impress me. So imma make a hot dog outta this deadbeat
It’s a game; cat and mouse, and you are the victim, i’d tell you to listen but you’re a lost cause
You’d stay in your house, but with all those symptoms, I’d say that we both are abandoned by God!
Hoho! Go back to your nursing home, you elderly disgrace
Maybe they’ll put you down to stop you tearing at your face
You can’t escape the voices, your frail attempts make me scoff
But enough of this wild goose chase.. I wanna see your head come off!

Gateway of the Mind: (1:12)
Oh dear.. They don’t stop.. Please don’t make me fight...
It’s time you finally climb out your hole and see the light
Open the gate, see the truth and know the meaning of my visions
As the doors of Heaven close, you will never be forgiven.

Abandoned by Disney:(1:25)
You had visions of your wife and I’m sure that was pretty tragic
But as soon as you died, your story did too and lost its magic
I wish my senses were gone too.. You.. think that you’ll fool me?
I thought I was abandoned by people, but who remembers your movie?

Gateway of the Mind:(1:40)
My mind serves as a gateway toward paranormal events
While you seek hatred to the corporation that you represent 
And they lost millions of dollars due to you failing with business
So makes sense you lost your head when it’s riddled with mental illness
I have spoken with God, and he’s told me to do this; I’ll hold no restraint on myself
It’s clear through the years that you already blew this, take these words and I’ll send you to hell
I speak with the dead so I know why you’re here, your franchise was lost because all those expenses
So If you want to talk with Walt Disney, I suggest you abandon your senses.
You were thrown in shallow water, stuck in xenophobic history
Inverted and perverted, no, your costume holds no beauty
They weren’t happy with your buildings, so your bankruptcy’s no mystery
I’m finally released from my torment and God has opened his gate to me

Abandoned by Disney vs Gateway of the Mind - Rap Cypher #24

The 🍆 Monkey vs. Normal Porn For Normal People - History vs. Creepypastas!

WARNING: 🍆 JOKES ARE MADE

SpideyFam As NPFNP

Grasman As The 🍆 Monkey

Grasman As Narrator 

Written by King Ducky 

Cover Art by Box

Mixed by Jort

Writing assistance from M&Mattie

Beat prod. Anywaywell

Normal Porn For Normal People:
Hopped on our site? Thought you were locked in the bathroom
Though honestly primates with jaundice may catch views
Your stalking with eyes which have lost all their life
Like your pasta, despised by anybody with values
 
The story's teens craft you are a mess I wish forgetting
Not surprised they'd smash you and also reside in Texas
He even puts them to rest before he'll make an attack
You're not a threat just a real pain in the ass 

He lies his eyes on wives to capture, if they aren't in the picture  
He aims for 🍆 Inspectors which there are zero percent of
Your design requires a censor, sensing it begins my heads hurt
Though I wouldn't mind rendering my contender dismembered 

Narrator:
He is coming for your skinny ass bruh 😂
He is hungry for a shitty pasta!
He is something so sneaky and agile
The 🍆 Monkey is not for weak (Ughh)


The 🍆 Monkey:
I'm going bananas, better prep your goofy mask up!
Cuz I plan to eat your ass up like i'm tossing fruity salad
This doctors handing out virus' offering some randoms hyperlinks 
Locking his red pink slimy tongue onto the land of grimy SINKS! 

Grab ya tiny 🍆 and throw your awful shows off of chrome 
Before I turn you black, white and blue: mono e monochrome!
Now I'm meant to be menacing yet he's only more threatening 
Cuz I could do anything and it be one of his fetishes! 

Normal Porn For Normal People:
A classic on the net only webs you know of come blasting out your back end
Bad at delivery cuz you have to be dragging round that 🍆 
Buren'll bury any servant who spurts a churpin in 
His office so scurry 'fore the pleasure he's churning…

Think you're besting me? Well then i'll leave him so bloody
What? You're just an NFT that nobody wants
I'm no redditor so this crack monkeys nothing to die for
The snuff in my lore's too lovely for an av-eye-sore

The Pe 🍆 Monkey:
That white mask can't hide that 
You doctored doctored those disses like a medical li-cense
Find that I am a giant by my design and 
You'll fly in the sky when I get a hold of that fine ass

I drop hurt odd pervs on their deathbeds when I go deep in that butt!
You're a doctor but can not earn a shirt or a decent camera?
I'm killing this brittle bitch isn't his first time being taken down
Guess both me and the police are fine with any trace cut out!

The 🍆 Monkey vs. Normal Porn For Normal People - Horror Rap Battles!

TRB - TOM TRENCH VS SHY GUY

Clarence as Tom

Teimunity as Shy Guy

Written and Mixed by Teimunity

Art by Jotinha and Teimunity 

Intro by Avery 

Beat by Anywaywell

Edited by PhantomEPRB

Avery made thumbnail logo

Special Thanks:

GreenOwl
thebabybeef 
Acting Out Rap Battles
Grasman

—

happy hazbinvincible day !

Tom Trench vs Shy Guy • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

(OLD) The Amazing Digital Circus vs. Needlem0use • Analog vs. Anything.

Full battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/XrRrCOoQIEA


Condiment King Verse 1

I was scared by this nefarious nuclear boy
But I mustard some courage after hearing his voice (ha!)

I cleverly conceptualized each crime I committed
While you’re powered by the sun and you’re still the most dim-witted (moron!)

My guns top this beef, while you’re acting pretty hammy
And you lost it ‘cause you couldn’t start a nuclear family

Man, you wished to have a girl after one look at her face
But you couldn’t even take her breath away when you took her to space


Nuclear Man Verse 1

(RAAA) Your love life’s not better than this
I will not even bother asking you where a woman is

You think brains beat brawn? Well I don’t care
But if what’s inside matters, I ignore your underwear

I generate heat like Venus (RAAA)
There is a big gap between us (RAAA)

Bigger than the ones that I made in Chinese wall
I am powerful god of the Sun like RAAAAAA


Condiment King Verse 2

My condiments earn compliments, I’m confident my consonants
Are competent, the consequence? I’m conquerin’ your common quips (woo!)

I’ll relish in glory, assert my dominance
You’re just the most forgotten villain novice in Metropolis


Nuclear Man Verse 2

(RAAA) I hurt people, and that includes you
(RAAA) You are a freako, like Luthor’s nephew

I will squeeze red out of you, and I do not mean ketchup
You will not even be healed by a mayo clinic checkup


Condiment King Verse 3

You act very strong, but your critics do better bashing
Since your foe fixed the wall just by… looking at it? (what?)

You have have Wolverine press-ons but aren’t sharp when you’re attackin’
Since you died and the cause was a nuclear reaction?

Wait scratch that, mad brat, weaker than the Pack Rat
At least he had a gat strapped when dealing with the black bat

And even he’s not that daft to be inside a shaft trapped
A packet of Tabasco would outmatch all of your wack raps


Nuclear Man Verse 3

You are pathetic, check my genetics
Strong and athletic, far from synthetic 

(RAAA) Win by more than a hair, you’re not strong
And I put the nuke in nuclear when I drop bombs

I threw, zapped, jumped on, and tossed rocks at Superman
(RAAA) Your head is not the only thing in pickle, stupid man

Nuclear Man rhymes get a radio active
With stronger flames than the one that put you in casket


Condiment King Verse 4

You’re powered up now, but your prototype was not impressing
You were stoner Scissorhands, (ick) and badly needed dressing (yikes)

You aren’t scary, you’re out cold without power
I’m the czar of sauerkraut, you're making the crowd sour


Nuclear Man Verse 4

Silence! Destroy Condiment King
But first I have fun, remove mind control thing

Let us see if Buddy Standler has more writing skill
I bet you are even less funny on your free will


Condiment King Verse 5

Wait, where am I? What am I doing?
Hey, aren’t you that villain from the 4th Rocky movie?

Or that Superman foe whose ratings were so low
He was non-renewable in comics? Well, gotta go


Nuclear Man Verse 5

(RAAA) Do not to try to run, my speed is supersonic
In more than one way I will destroy failed comic

You wasted my time so I knock your lights out
And…

► CREDITS: 

RaccoonBroVA as Nuclear Man

Matt Raichous as the Condiment King 

Pixel Chris as the Condiment King 

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Beat prod. by Simon Bates of the Audio Network

Mixed by Nikki

Cover Art by Taiga

Nuclear Man vs The Condiment King. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Danii • Creepy Clarence 

Leo Barqui • The Wario Apparition 

Written, Edited and Produced • Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered • SIR Rap Battles 

Artwork • Teimunity & Creeperpasta ​⁠

Creepy Clarence • Verse 1: (16 Bars)
No need for any introductions, I’m the one who’s scaring
You’re mega minded assets never had the players caring
I’ve seen your antics, and it isn’t just your soul I’m glaring
So when I spawn in VC, know it’s ain’t Terrible Terrence 

Because I left that motherfucker in a blotch of flames
And all I needs a fire flower, then your fates the same
You’ll find your L is Real, Head over heels, then kneel and pray
I’ll make sure that you resemble the body of Grenade

The Wario Apparition • Verse 1: (16 Bars)
Not what I thought when you said this would be gas…
This ain’t a Putt Party function, there’s REAL fun to be had
You’re the same geek gimmick with each FRB fad
Mirror the time nut so much, you’d probably sink in sand (HA HA HA!)

You stink man! More than the garlic I’m munching (WAH!)
A ghost in the crew? You’re an off brand Flying Dutchman 
I’m subliminal, limiting you to liminal hell
Stick to being the slave of Yessir by Anywaywell

Creepy Clarence • Verse 1: (8 Bars)
Elongated halls and blurry walls are in your storage? (no…)
All those pictures of your likeness should have never been recorded (No…)
If you think that your defeating Creepy Clarence, then your out of luck (No…)
My corridors will leave you cornered, now who is the empty husk? (NO!)

Decay, when I speak flames, your maker will need a sheet change
No replays, you won’t see day, when your poly-gone, I will seize reign
But if you really want the quickest way to find your dying god?
. . . .

The Wario Apparition • Verse 2: (8 Bars)
Couldn’t haunt me on the track, guess you’re TOO TOO LAZY (HA!)
Long ass neck, call that COO COO CRAZY! (WAH!)
Bud, you were made as a one time laugh
I can sum your story up as a Family Guy gag! (WAH!)

Gone with this demon, you lost, so stay conceded 
I’m a god in my region, you’re fodder, stop the preaching 
Broke the law, so this urbans lurking, best hope I don’t catch you
Crawl back in your shadowy realm, it’s past your curfew (WAH!)

Have a rotten day…

Creepy Clarence vs The Wario Apparition • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

grunkle stan gravity falls vs gps the nightly manor rap battle

Grunkle Stan vs. GPS - TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES! (Ft. Titanium and nEon)

Hello everyone, I welcome you all to yet another Teimunity Rap Battles! Today combatants are none other than Gravity Falls favourite uncle: Grunkle Stan, going up against The Nightly Manor’s expert hacker: GPS! Who will win? Who will get robbed?Who’s swiping my wallet by the end of the battle? Um…yeah let’s hope this ends without me getting robbed

Titanium as Grunkle Stan
Neon as GPS

Written by Teimunity
Illustrations by Teimunity and Evry

Edited by Powerofdan

Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Johny Tyson 2

Grunkle Stan vs. GPS • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

Cover art by: Cidisswo
YT link: https://youtu.be/SrpFrzgsdME?si=fGHuqH3SymB5l3so

egomanic as both voice
Written by egomanic

Lyrics: 

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Yeah) try to catch the wave, and drown in my flow
Cuz mine is hard to swallow you’re a soft drink like coke
Why don’t you pass me a cigarette, im asking for smoke
Give a cowboy his magazine, this gat’ll unload, so
Mic pilot with the rhymes i'm freestyling 
Stacking my piles high in the sky, supplies rising 
Dropping by lines right on the fly like skydiving 
While you tried diving into the night and died trying 
Hijacked off in the cockpit since dishonorable discharge 
Till you dropped and the rocks hit, now you’re never gettin them off (Uh) 
We are not the same, i'm not on your plane
Inspired by the first 3d show host, while you got no game 
Mask on, not a trace while all the cops can spot your face
I’m on your case, going off unlike the bomb that's on your case 
Uh uh, sorry cooper but today is not your day
Come to get me i’ll just turn the other cheek and walk away

[D.B. Cooper]
I don't like funny stuff, but i have some notes
This is a rap battle, I expected actual jokes
Wanna talk about catching smoke?
I drop bombs, max, listen to the raps I wrote, it goes
Briefcase empty took 200k with me 
Got the job done, for 50 years remained missing
Placed whiskey orders, called the shots, escaped quickly
Stuck the landing and I even made it back for thanksgiving
You never left no evidence but it's evident
I made my mark, your love faded into irrelevance
Rebelled against PBS with your obscene scenes
But it seems, your messages are as obscured as your references (Ay!)
Ruffled some feathers then i flew the cooper
You broadcast fetish cosplay: D.B. Gooner
So go ahead and throw hands and get chucked like Swirsky
I kept mine clean while your gloves got dirty

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Ohhhh)
I’m a rap god, bro think he the unabomber 😂
You bargain Bin Laden: Osama lama duma lama
You made some bank and then the banks became your treasury
So I’ll make this air pirate “see the X” because he’s dead to me

[D.B. Cooper]
(Ugh)
Your heads in the clouds if you think your verse phased me
First class? Nah, you dressed like the first lady
I cover my tracks well but this time the FBI will find
Your airtime is up, but you didn’t leave a tie behind…

D.B. Cooper vs Max Headroom Hijacker - Ego Rap Battles

This is the last time I do anything for that fuck shimario

BobcatXtreme as J. Jonah Jameson
TaigaTonic as Benson
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by JoJoVo
Art by Teimunity
Beat by kulture.
Mixing by Jort
Cover art by Kamren the Person
Special thanks: Matt Raichous, WoodenHornets, MetaStarVA, J.G. Quintel, & Shimario

JJJ:
HOFFMAN! Get this gumball machine out my office!
Against the Jameson, he can’t recoup his losses
Ego so big, your head is bigger than Pops’ is
But I’ll show you who the boss is!

Let me get my pen and print a headline:
“Jameson Hits Deadline, Makes Moron Choke Because His Bars Are Eggcelent!”
In comparison, he’s stretched more thin than the Spider-Menace’s webbing is
So I’ll put my two cents in, then dispense of him!

Think you’re some kind of master at handling your temperament?
It’s obvious that Benson flips the second that some slackers leave him upstaged
PARKER! Snap some pictures of his red face
Then you’ll get paid, and I’ll put it on the front page

Such a cowardly hothead, you’d prolly get some chicken wings to eat
And down it all with some Mississippi Queen
And then you steal employees’ lunch when they’re already tired?
Sit down, please. …You’re fired.

Benson
Mordecai, Rigby! Don’t slack on the beat
I know that you hate picking up trash from the scene
But you’ll get a raise if you make like the vigilante he seethes at
And kick this dirtbag from the streets!

It’s plain as day, the way you slave your place is brutal
It just takes whistleblowers to shut down the Daily Bugle
Think they’re making stacks, then you drop stacks of files on ‘em
With that mug, you look like you’d go “Sieg Heil!” on ‘em

You’re losing this bout
Cause this time, it’s the gum that’s chewing you out
Your seed in the Big Apple is rotten, I’d say it’s rather obvious
You stretch people’s hands in your offices like Doctor Octopus

You’re the real villain, keeping teens hobblin’
And withholding pay so Peter keeps jobbin’
Your profits only go to your nicotine hobby
Yet you ended up smoked by a different Green Goblin

JJJ
I’m not Susan, but don’t mind if I copy 
‘Cause your own mug ain’t even fit to hold my coffee!
Spent your past playing hockey games and hitting on drums
It fits you turned from a badass to a stick in the mud

That dome head won’t protect you, even if your residence blasted off
Either way, I’d still be sonning this astronaut
And speaking of domes, you went nuts when you were shut in
So you have no right to snap when people push your buttons

Benson
I’m used to irregular shows, but it’s out of the ordinary
How a man with no heart can still suffer a coronary
Maybe it’s ‘cause you added to Spider-Man’s foes in the ring?
Honest, the way you treated Scorpion stings

You got me pissed off, banking off of fear and pain
I’ll go ballistic on you, leave a smear campaign
You wanna say my mug’s ugly? Your plans were for nothing
‘Cause it’s abundantly clear your wife can’t handle a mugging

J. Jonah Jameson vs. Benson - AK Rap Battles

Watch the battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-AS7ppwvFvA

► CREDITS:

Theme Park Avenue as Slope Dude

Luke Reardon as The Abominable Snowman

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Slope Dude Art by Valonide

Abominable Snowman Art by BMB

Beat Prod. by Diamond Style

Mixed by Nikki

Thumbnail by LimJJ

Slope Dude Vs The Abominable Snowman. PowerPoint Rap Battles

LYRICS

Quint from Jaws:
The name is Sam Quint, you know what I do very well
So spare the damn hints, I’ve no patience for ferry tales
The Quint-essential destroyer of horrid fish
Pointing at a loner fishing for attention
Poor lad is left out like a dorsal fin
The Orca is a mighty lass, you’re captain of a little bitch
What good’s the mutt for? Fetching River Sticks?
So can it ‘fore I smack those chattery jaws out your cloak
I’d say suck my dick, but you’re gonna need a bigger throat

The River Person:
Tra la la, Clint, was it? All aboard! Why just step in!
No need to sound like nails on a chalkboard for my attention
My, you seem to lack direction since your warship tasted metal
After all those years, you’re the one ready to pop a vessel
Tra la la, beware the - tale of the seafaring stranger
Who’s picture they - whisper made - sharks become endangered
I only jest, he’s a beacon for seabed
He begged the city for ten grand just to keep those beasts fed
Oh, what do you do with a drunken failure…
Who couldn’t live up to his bumbling mayor?
A veteran’s vengeance against fish fuels the war he leads
The next ship you board should be USS Your Priorities

Quint from Jaws:
Shut it down like the beaches, there’s such a large gap between us-
That not even the duckling you compete with could reach it
Plummet down like Hooper’s time served as a scuba diver
I’ll brutalize the Underground’s chatty ass Uber driver
Your shitty ass fandom is - giving me flashbacks when-
They eat up those dead tropes in droves like Indie-anapolis
So, get your clumps of pixel chumps stuck living under
And I’ll show you why they call me “The First Blockbuster”

The River Person:
Tra la la, beware the man who smells of moldy cheese snacks
Ditch the white whale and hunt for therapy, Captain Rehab
Quinten, you’re more quaint than Mr. Gerson
Just quit the liquor slurping before you become The Half-A-Liver Person
Tra la la, like the shark to your boat, here’s a tip
Next time you start descending, get a grip
Spent your last breath like Undyne, driven by burning hatred
And now that shark’s stomach is filled with determination

CREDITS

Mr. Tibbs as Quint from Jaws

Rabi as The River Person

Writing by Snakebite126
Additional writing help by Rabi, R. YFU, and GrenadeGames
Beat prod. by ToneJonez
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover art by Snakebite126

Quint from Jaws vs. The River Person - Rap Battle

Kinger vs. Needlemouse • 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 (Ft. TAFox & TaigaTonic)

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰! 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘰: 𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺’𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 ] 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘕𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ … ] 𝘩𝘮…𝘰𝘥𝘥… 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘯? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰!!! 𝘸𝘩𝘰.

TAFox as Sarah (& Pomni)
TaigaTonic as Kinger

Grasman as Caine

Written and Produced by Teimunity 
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles!

Grunkle Stan vs. GPS • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

Teimunity

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