afraid of myself

thank you @vai5000 for doing these beautiful vocals for the outro 💖
cover art by my friend @/y0egg on instagram !
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/1fIpztyjsfmYWfpzaQ61zh?si=2haQ-zf_TrKbU4NrYsgzAA

stand still
hold back
the tears
they fall from ur face

hand held
walked by
the place where we both died

i cant seem
to feel you
in my dreams
i see you

you know why
i still do
all of the
things you'd-

i'm falling way too far
now is this my end?
got cuts all on my arms
i'd harm it away
and no i know its worth it
to stay by ur side
havent eaten in days
caught u by surprise
if i come back
how would they react?
will they tease me
or will they go away?
its hard to stay
when you get blamed
for everything you do

so shut my body down
say "i cant hold it anymore"
it is too late now
to say sorry
i know
how
youre feeling
its okay
believe it

and ur eyes
like a butterfly
fly me down
i get lost
when i see you
yet i still stick around
i know
its worse
time stands
still when
you close your eyes
yet i stare in your face
i cant forget
how it felt
when we held hands

will you leave me here now
will you just go
thinking bout the past how i could've changed

talk myself to sleep
i don't feel you here now
so i shut down all my feelings
you dont know me
talking like you need to leave me
dont leave it

and im falling way too far
unsure of what is to come
was i really worth your love
was i really like, someone 
that you cared for - that you loved
that you wanted in your life
were you really just mine
i still see you in my dreams
you stare at me
was it something that I said
something I regret
still want you to stay with me
by my side please
your words - your eyes
i don't think I can go

butterfly

written by me and aras
influenced by helene <3


[july.]

[intro]
only for the exception of the fact
that my heart and my soul are intact
that i no longer need to redact 
that when

when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 


[chorus]
cause when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
there's something in the air I feel exposed and nude  (ew)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
Only leave to get some food 
But when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
My eyes can't detect any sudden moves (don't move)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
only leave to get some food 

[hook]

cause when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 

[verse] 

I rather pass away then pass you on
Cause i don't wanna treat u like ur just some baton
And i'm scared that you won't like me when I'm off the pills
But when I'm close 2 you feels like I can't do wrong 


[Harass Moon] 

when i'm inside of ur radius 
i feel so damn connected love
intrusive thoughts invading us
but ur lips r so infectious oh I
I keep on coming back for more
heart beating so eclectic
shocking but babe i kno 4 sure
this surge feels electric when i'm (close to u)

[chorus]
cause when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
there's something in the air I feel exposed and nude  (ew)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
Only leave to get some food 
But when I'm close 2 u
the world doesnt spin like how its supposed to do
My eyes can't detect any sudden moves (don't move)
I sit inside the room
I've accepted as my tomb
only leave to get some food 

[hook] 

cause when I'm close 2 u
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 
when I'm close to you
there's something there
there's something there
there's soemthing there 


it's merely parasocial ft. Aras Moon

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/tigerstar/yea-cus-yea
STARPOWER! July 20

Hey!
What unleashed this side of you?
You're not usually speaking
'Bout what you think I should do,
I should choose

Hey!
Whatchu think about all this change?
Haven't let go of me all day
What were you gonna tell me?
That you're scared to say

All my faith is almost gone
'Cus when I think about what I want
I'm sorry but I don't know
I have no response!
And then it's May, we graduate
You always say
You'll do anything to go where I will go
I hope it's worth the wait

When in doubt, I'll be your cheerleader
But I doubt that you'll even need a clutch
To be there when I won't
Yeah, you'll be fine okay!

Things were good so why'd you go away?
Have to let you know
I don't count on anyone to say this stuff
But you say things the best in every way

I'ma get stuck in this time
By taking pics of us left and right
And nothing's gonna last forever
But with you, it might

Coming clean I need to lay it out
and tell the story so far
There's not much I can do to fix it
Before things fall apart
You think I would've learned a lesson
Beyond the past that we shared
It's not fair, it's not fair

All I need, like vapor
Like I breathe you
And I'm cleared and I'm charged
Addictive energy I'm trying not to need
But it's hard
Still convincing myself that I need to go home
'Cus I've burnt out on my own

So I try to get some sleep
But I don't have you to hold
And when I cry I don't want you to see
Tears on my pillow
And I have too many ways to say
How I feel alone
I'll sleep on the left side tonight
But it still feels cold

When you switch up you got me down
Down, down
When you switch up got me

Oh, what's the point of being anything?
Other than with you head to feet
I don't care what I need I just want you
I'll wear your jersey with the nine
I'll write you a lullaby
Remember me by your side, what it was like

I wish it was simple, but it's not
I'll keep missing the way it was
'Till the end, don't pause
'Till the end, don't
Maybe we should skip to when
We're together again and move on
'Till we're in the same spot
(If and when)
I wish I was with you, but I'm not
I'll keep missing the way it was
'Till the end, don't pause
'Till the end, don't
Maybe we should skip to when
We're together again and move on
'Till we're in the same spot
If and when it comes

if and when

@a_anx1ety x @negativecreeper

@qxi
i could b ur hero
i could b the one that makes ur eyes glow, bright
i'll give u my coat when u get cold
my number is here when u feel alone

ima take it back
cus u made it sad
i dont want no slow shit
i just want it fast
bitch u are so precious
leave u in the past
u said i was the first
but id rather be ur last

i could b ur hero
i could b the one that makes ur eyes glow, bright
i'll give u my coat when u get cold
my number is here when u feel alone

@yokulol
u fall down and think i’ll catch you anyway
idk why, cus i said it once before you think it
i’ll never leave, ur not wrong
i’m just thinking maybe we could last for long (oohwahahh)

cus when u get involved
i just fall
i don’t wanna care at all
it’s not a lot u know I’m tryin

cus when u get involved
i just fall
i don’t wanna care at all
it’s not a lot u know I’m tryin

@qxi
i could b ur hero
i could b the one that makes ur eyes glow, bright
i'll give u my coat when u get cold
my number is here when u feel alone

spotify

hero w/ yoku p. kyonely + negative.creeper

PLEC0 , RICE , ASHE , SHOBER , COTICKER - PRODS - SABRR , PK , DILO , ELWOODA

##BEWITCHED GOBLINS

prod credits.
me
cole calico
sxth sns
dramatrial
billsburyjoeboi

LYRICS: 
i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating aint my strong suit i guess that im sorry

man fuck that shit i sent so many damn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw'em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth

i aint gon lie like i dont miss you for a single second
but you aint think before the knots to type a single message
hypocrisy i know im spitting yes i need a lesson
but since your gone man who my teacher hope you see me stressing
thinking about you every second yea thats what you wanted 
i shouldve felt the narcissism from the first few punches
do not talk family with me i fucking hate the subject 
what if i killed myself to figure out if i meant something 
you'd of told me i meant nothing 

i used to say you were the best mother 
and to this day i still try not to think much less of you
but its not easy with you not here telling me to run away 
from what im heading towards
i used to think i was the one that burnt the bridge of course
but its in my head now super clear how you were wielding torches
how you built me up and knocked me down made me feel less important
how you tied that noose around your neck before giving me notice 

now it would only take 2 seconds just to hit me up 
i'd probably respond too late but you dont give a fuck 
sometimes i wish i was the one that found you hanging up
i keep calling and hanging up

i wish i had another chance to say i love you 
cuz at this point inside my head im like fuck you
thought i could trust you 
never been more wrong in my life i wish it wasn't true

but i still breakdown wishing that it wasnt you
in my head i been so alone my thoughts are skewed 
can't deny i been in this pain for at least 2 
long years i don't think they're ending soon 
might as well put the gun to my head
and pull the trigger i might get to see you
my dad keep telling me im wrong
he probably right but i don't know if i wanna be here long
yea i wish you could hear this i know it would be your favorite song 
or maybe thats just my ego speaking you know where i get it from
ask me what i do it for?

yea it used to be you but now i don't really know anymore
i could tell you the truth but i know your not there to hear it no more
and if you were here you wouldn't wanna hear it it would bring you
to the floor, i dont really care no more 
you was finna leave me anyway 
through me off the cliff as a featherweight
don't act like it aint take nothing
i dont went through it in a heavy way
feeling naked running through the heavy rain
what the fuck was going on with my brain
they wonder why i made headaches shit
i was really truly going insane

i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating aint my strong suit i guess that im sorry

man fuck that shit i sent so many damn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw'em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth

it really pissed me off when you killed yourself

@kenesukoh x @7sabrr7

@qxi
i'm so done
i'm so free
i'm doing myself
i'm being me

i do what i want
crushing rock, rock
push it all the way
push to the top, top

top, top (push to the)
top, top top
top, top
top, top top
top, top (push to the)
top, top top
top, top

@catgif
try as you might
im not losing this fight
i stay out of sight
read between the lines
oh, oh, oh
can't you see i tried?
can't you see i tried?
whats the fuckin purpose
right now it all feels so worthless
cut off the part thats hurtin
think i'll need a surgeon

@helpquixi
and i'm so lost i can't even find myself nowwwww
i'll be surprised if anything actually works outttt
i know that its my fault if i burst out (but i'm too hurt now)

@hannevig
will you go away?
i don't wanna deal with this today
pick apart my brain
i don't wanna hear you say it

open up my closet
full of secrets
skeletons, monsters
you can see them
you can pick and pry 
but please don't free them
i regret the things i've done
they're in there for a reason
picking up the potion
it fades away my memories
down 1, down another, down 3
i cannot see
choking on my tongue and my words
no i cannot breathe
i cannot fathom why you wanna be with me

will you go away?
i don't wanna deal with this today
pick apart my brain
i don't wanna hear you say it

-

@qxi
i'm so done
i'm so free
i'm doing myself
i'm being me

i do what i want
crushing rock, rock
push it all the way
push to the-

push w/ catgif + hannevig p. kenesukoh + 7sabrr7

prod. me

Lyrics:
(do you feel do you -)
(do you hurt do you -)
(is it real are you -)
(do you feel do you -)
(do you hurt do you -)
(is it real are you -)

it's like you're still here with me
winds blow mold my face like your touch
I'd try ask "do you miss me?"
but you don't respond
how could you be gone
I'll close my eyes
and forget about the time
watch as I cry
it's rain on my cheek
connecting lines
tracing paths in sand beneath my feet
you swore you'd stay
where are you
tear my heart out
fall to the ground
words pierce my skin
tattered feelings
all this weight from my name
when you say it again
words kiss me
but I still feel pain

someone pinch me i'm still dreaming
death's beside me i'm his protégé
please speak softly words still hurt me
defy nature I still hate her
hate her
stay here
hate her
take me later
but you'll stay there
if I don't call
take a step back before you fall

everything just hurts sometimes  I
wonder what I'll feel when you die
hold your hand it's cold already
didn't tell me that you left me
beating heart as I grasp for air
feel your pulse but it's still nowhere
will you search for me when I join you

try beleive that nothings wrong
hold your hand until you're gone
hold your hand until you're
do you feel me with you
do you feel me kiss you
you - you - you
you were my everything

take back time said I would not cry but I lied
can you forgive me for the mistakes I made
thought you would never leave what we had built up
but I was wrong i'm so dumb
see your face
I watch you fade
I'll always stay just to see you again someday
do you see though the darkness i'm beside you
you're here I know you are
I won't forget your hope
it's all inside I won't leave till I die

steps lead southward spiral downward
heartbeats haunt me death still taunts me
i can still feel the past inside of my own heart
fragile it breaks like glass let it escape time's grasp

do you feel do you
do you still -
do you remember my name I'm -
do you hurt do you
hear my words
is it real are you
still there

do you feel do you hurt is it real now
cause I know that you're gone but I'll still ask "do you miss me?"
do you feel do you hurt is it real now
when you don't respond I'll hold on
for you
Talk I need to hear your voice your words surround me
embrace me with the things you could say but I can't hear you
Call out to me but we'll still just sit in silence
do you feel my hands
I just want you back
cause I loved you

death's just a step away

prod. me

lyrics:
(do you feel do you)
(do you hurt do you)
(was it real do you feel do you hurt do you)
marks on my skin
keep what's hidden
warmth from within
holds all i've been
try hold my hand
ice bites you back
"stay here with me"
I wanted -

one day you'll find where i've gone
I'll stay as your eidolon
watch your efflorescence
said I wouldn't be too long
But I was erroneous
left you alone but I tried -
hold me do you see me 
do you feel me do you hear me
when I scream out to 
your refelctions in 
a past we've let go
you are my home
home home in your heart

please remember
the warmth you felt
when you kissed me
when you hold - 

see what I am
It's all I have 
it's all I'm worth 
you were my everything 
Now i'm just the wind
do you feel my
proclivity
fade from feelings
angel wings trimmed
do you feel do you
do you hurt do you
you you you you   

my evanescence scares me
why can't I stay why can't i cry
I feel my life, he's calling
it hurts my heart to leave him

evocate my own dismay 
I might one day be whole again
but I can't speak
I can't hear
twilight swallows me in fear
tenebrosity still holds me
I can't leave my own custody
hold my hands
why can't - why can't -

apathetic about my words 
liaison between love and hurt I -
do you love what I have become?
because I feel like I hurt someone
feel like I hurt someone
knives where they don't belong
take it apon myself
bleed I won't ask for help  
fall out the sky
hell's where I'll die

was it real did you -
do you hurt from me

cry for me cause I can't myself
do you hear when I call for help
do you feel do you
do you hurt do you
was it real do you feel do you hurt do you
do you feel do you
do you hurt do you
was it real do you feel do you hurt do you

aerith

The gods tortured the mortals, playing with them as they saw fit. Their suffering and tribulation were of little consequence. His existence inevitable. He was the titan, ripping the gods from the sky. Their wings and their world would lie broken at his feet. A reckoning had come, and their deaths would be quick and their lives ended short.

butterfly

uxbie

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