https://linktr.ee/vaelrix

"I Hate My Own Company" is a raw, unfiltered confession from the depths of emotional despondency. Delivered like a haunted monologue, this track explores themes of dissociation, trauma, mental illness, and the unbearable silence of solitude.

Lines like “my avatar in this game of life is glitched” and “I’m reaching for a rope of light” express the inner decay of a soul trapped inside a malfunctioning system — where even basic human function feels like corrupted code.

This is more than a song. It’s an elegy for the self, spoken through tears that never fall.

If you’ve ever felt like your existence was malfunctioning — you’re not alone. This piece is yours.

#Vaelrix #IHateMyOwnCompany #MentalHealthMusic #DarkPoetry #SpokenWord #TraumaMusic #EmotionalRap #DepressionLyrics #AIrap #AltRap #Dissociation #SunoAI #LonelinessAnthem

the oscillation of my mood
the constant gnawing
these intangible weights that bind to my ankles
this abhorrent nature
I want it all to stop.

it's as if I exist in perpetuity,
and for all of eternity
I will be this amalgamation of trauma and grief.

these festering wounds
they're infected with hatred
and the more I try to cover them up with words and lies
the stronger the infection becomes.

I'm reaching for a rope of light
knowing that when I grab it
it will slip through my fingertips
and the evanescence of its shine
will remind me that time is fleeting.

this pain has roots as deep as fungi,
keeping me bound
and every step I take,
the gravity of its pull prevents me from running.

My avatar in this game of life is glitched.
the coding, inoperable.
basic functions like bathing, hygiene,
does choices are wiped from my processes.

I wish my level of normal
was greater than my level of strange.

strands of what I used to be
scattered remnants of what once was
intertwine with the fragments of what I am
creating this weaving fabric of dissonance
where parts of me want one thing
and other parts of me want something else.

I don't want to stain your soul
with my disappearance
but I know that if I did leave permanently
and never returned
the pain that I feel, the perpetual blue...
it would swim through your veins
and that constant itch,
you would be responsible for it.

That responsibility is mine to bare. Not yours.

with that being said,
I wish I didn't feel this duty to conserve others from pain.
I wish I was cruel enough to do the unthinkable
I wish I could. I just can't.

so I'm stuck. stuck with this feeling of despondence.
stuck with this emotional turmoil.
stuck with myself.
I hate my own company.

I Hate My Own Company

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Follow my socials: https://linktr.ee/vaelrix

Vaelrix is a genre-bending lyricist whose work blurs the line between rap, poetry, and cinematic storytelling. With thousands of songs written and a catalog shaped by trauma, transformation, and spiritual unrest, every track is a raw confession wrapped in layered metaphors. Drawing influence from anime, philosophy, theology, and the darkest corners of the mind, Vaelrix delivers complex rhyme schemes and emotionally charged narratives that cut deep and linger. This isn't just music—it's survival through sound. Welcome to the archive of a soul set on fire.
