I wrote “Blåhaj” from a place of longing — not as someone who is a trans woman, but as someone who’s felt that deep ache of wanting to be.

There’s a strange, quiet grief that comes with knowing who you might’ve been if things were different. If you were allowed. If you had the language, the support, the timing. And sometimes, that grief attaches itself to something soft — like a stuffed shark. A silly plush that so many people turned into a symbol of comfort, safety, gender euphoria, or survival.

For me, Blåhaj became a stand-in for the girl I never got to be. The version of myself I dreamed about — the one who felt right in her skin. Writing this song was my way of honoring her. Of talking to her. Of holding her the way no one else ever did.

It’s not just about a toy. It’s about softness in a hard world. It’s about identity, and the versions of ourselves we still carry, even if we never got to live them out loud.

Now for the lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Blue friend on the edge of my bed
Silent eyes, but you know what I said
You’ve seen my tears, my pills, my plans
You’re just plush, but you understand

They laugh and say I’m too obsessed
But you’re the one who calms the stress
You hold me when the world won’t try
Soft shark arms under neon sky

[Pre-Chorus]
Every scar I’ve ever hidden
Every thought I’ve ever bitten
You’ve been there — no judgment, no sound
In your fluff, I finally found…

[Chorus]
Blåhaj, take me away
To a place where I’m more than “they”
Wrap me up in polyester waves
In your jaws, I feel brave
You’re just stuffing, but somehow you heal
Make this pain feel a little less real
Blåhaj, float me through the night
'Til my body fits me right

[Verse 2]
Got four of you now, lined on my floor
Still chasing comfort, always wanting more
Dysphoria’s a thief in the dark
But you bite back with a cotton spark

They say it’s a meme, a joke, a phase
But you’ve been here on my worst days
You don’t care about names or past
You’re the first thing I could love that lasts

[Pre-Chorus]
I don’t know what healing looks like
But I know your fins feel right
When I can’t speak, when I go numb
You remind me I’m still someone

[Chorus]
Blåhaj, take me away
To a room where I get to stay
Softest soldier, ocean heart
Patch the parts they ripped apart
You’re just plush, but you feel like truth
My sea-blue armor since my youth
Blåhaj, hold me in this fight
'Til the mirror treats me right

[Bridge]
And maybe it’s addiction
Or maybe it’s survival
When the world denies your story
Even toys feel vital

You’re not just a joke from online threads
You’re the pillow that held my meds
You’re the reason I stayed one more night
In this gender war — you’re my light

[Final Chorus]
Blåhaj, take me away
Let me cry the shame away
I named you Hope, I named you Grace
I found myself in your face
You’re not magic, but you’re real enough
To teach me softness can be tough
Blåhaj, float me through the dark
'Til I love my battle scars


Blåhaj - a love note to my dear friend

𝕿𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖒₁₀₁

Just an upcoming experimental Musician turning weird sounds into good vibes. [add my page on facebook for updates]
more about me vvvvvvvvvv
22 yo dude, Terrible at singing, but im very ambitious hehe.
My guitar is always out of tune for some reason. Weird.
I was making ai songs bc i thought well lets jump on this band wagon and see if i can reach the goals i could never get to.
Well reached those goals, had 300k streams just in the last half of the year compared to 1/3 of that many streams over the past 5 years. This ai stuff is rigged.
Now im making my own songs again, like before hehe.
I mean my parents say my vocals need alot of work lol.
One day i hope someone will find me and help me improve.

I'm happy with my songs :) . 
I kinda made alot of songs just so i could try earn something, make my parents proud; hopefully getting enough to help get a home in scotland, and live peacefully.

I dont wanna be the next biggest artist. I'm more likely to hide from society lol.

If u wanna talk to me u can, i don't see or talk to many real people alot since i don't leave my house; i'm scared of going outside, unless im with someone.

Blåhaj - a love note to my dear friend

Vai Van Vaughan